She squirmed in his arms
“Am I making you uncomfortable?”
She shrugged. “No”
“I am sorry. I don’t mean to hurt you but I want to open up myself before you. No more hidden chapters. Do you understand?”
He asked very softly, still holding her tight as if he feared she would sprint from his arms. “Then I met Ananya.” He paused when he sensed her body stiffening. “Please listen. I know it’s difficult. I never gave you a moment to mourn her loss. Whereas I was making sure you saw the hurt and anger I was going through. But do you know our relationship started to be just temporary?”
Anita tried to loosen his hold.
“Please Anita, listen!” Salim pleaded earnestly. “We got into the relationship saying that. Soon I was sucked into her energy. We met for couple of weekends before we planned to come here. She wanted me to meet you. We never spoke of a long term relationship or anything. We were just flowing where our relationship was taking us.”
This time she tried in earnest to come out of his hold but he held her in his very strong grip. “Please listen to me just this once. I am not trying to belittle my relationship with Ananya.” He took a long breath. “I never will. She is special. She made me feel free again” He paused. “I had a good life with my family but that freedom of spirit I felt with her for the first time. I used to call her–“
“Wood nymph!”
“How did you know?” He asked, a little confused and a little shocked.
“You mentioned it when you were sedated.”
“She called me a Greek God who had come to steal her garden.” He smiled. “It was being kids again, just like playing some imaginary games. Then she wanted me to meet you, just like that. Then you know what happened.”
Anita felt his body go taut. She could feel that he was reliving the accident. “She was smiling at the last moment you know” his voice faltered.
She again tried to turn but he held her. “I really hope that God made sure she never felt anything, that she closed her eyes smiling. It’s her smiling and laughing face which I saw last before everything went black.” He let out a painful sigh and his arms tightened again. “Then . . . I saw you. I had seen your photographs. I knew you were identical twins. Yet when you came in front of me I forgot that. I am sorry!” He kissed the back of her head. “Then I was furious. She was so lively . . . always full of life and energy and I remembered she had spoken about you, how you didn’t live at all. She wanted you to live your life. So she wanted me to come along with her to meet you and make you see how life can be beautiful with companionship. But… she died.
I was angry that I was alive and she was dead. I felt angry thinking why someone with so much zeal for life is not alive where as you who just lives because you have to, is alive. And then I saw you so comfortable with Surendra that I lost it. She died while coming to meet you and show you the need of companionship, where as I felt you were becoming close to Surendra.
I knew I needed an anchor to hold on or I would end up hurting myself. The destructive side I never knew I had was raising its head. But then I saw you with Surendra and it just made me lose it completely and I wanted to snatch you away from him, for me, for my wellbeing.” He kissed the back of her head again.
And I wanted vengeance. It was like you fell into my lap, just the punching bag I needed. I tried to hate you, hurt you but you slowly seeped into my life.” He kissed her again. “Your patience, the way you understood me as no one has ever, pulled me further towards you. There were so many instances where I was coming too close to you and then remembering why I had married you, I would take a couple of steps backwards and . . . every time, I used Ananya’s name to do just that. More than to hurt you I was reminding myself.”
Salim took a deep breath. “I am sorry for every time I hurt you. You were getting too close to my heart. Then that night when I finally let go of my anger and moved Ananya’s photos and the chair to another room I felt light and free to move on. I moved it for me, not to make it comfortable for you. I am too selfish, hon! I did it for me, I wanted to move on and I wanted to do that with you in my arms. I wanted to woo you slowly so that even you wouldn’t know what has happened, and when it happened. But that night I couldn’t stop. The night, the magic, I just wanted you in every way and not just physically.”
Then he allowed her to turn. “Then those days flew by just like that. Every moment was so precious. Every day I was coming home just to feel you in my arms as I drifted into my sleep. You had become like my breath.”
Her eyes widened and he noticed they were moist. “You make me feel blessed to be alive, though we lost a major chunk from our life that day of the accident.” He took a loud breath. “When I came home all I wanted was to dive into your essence and forget all the worries and sleep . . . but you were gone. I realized how you had gone taking away my heart, the very essence of my life, the flavor of the breath I love to take. I feared that all the pain I had put you through was finally catching up and you had left. But when you promised me that you just had some things to wrap up and you spoke with me smiling, I felt relieved.”
Then his jaws tightened. “But then when Surendra called . . . I thought I don’t have any more reason to breath in this world if you are not there with me. I feared you had kept the pain hidden for so long that you chose that option to leave rather than share your burden, your pain, with me.
She held his face in her small hands, feeling the shape of his face.
“You stupid girl! Don’t you understand? I love you, crazily. I can’t imagine life without you. This is love. And trust me; I have never loved another woman this way.”
She smiled through the tears which were flowing from her eyes.
“I love you!”
He raised himself on his elbow when he heard her say the magical words in her raspy voice, squinting at her confession.
“I do!” She affirmed.
“Since when do you love me? Or are you saying it just because I said it?”
She smiled, shaking her head at his doubt.
“I love you. I came here because I loved you. When once you mentioned that I was your responsibility, I felt you were trying to be good because I was just that–a responsibility. And finally you were realizing the trap you have gotten into. I wanted to give you the space to think about it. If I gave you space and distance you will know how it is if I am not hovering in the background. And slowly you will get used to my absence and want me to be away.”
He frowned. “You left because you love me and thought you would set me free?” His hands tightened as did his jaws. Then he relaxed. “And still I can’t compete. I love you and I wanted you to be with me, selfishly so. I wanted to make you fall in love with me. When I saw you fine and alive here, I promised myself that I will cherish you, love you and make you love me crazily like I do, if not more.” He kissed her lips tenderly as if she was a precious possession and he was scared she would break.
“Kiss me like you mean it.”
He was shocked but then threw his head back and laughed. He finished his laughter on her lips, this time not tenderly but like he really meant to kiss her senseless.
Epilogue
Salim and Anita’s Sanctum - Hooked for life
Salim took a step inside the bedroom and stood frozen. The room had beautiful flower arrangements on the wall and the side tables and there was a canopy made above the bed and in the center. Anita was dressed in a gorgeous Lehenga Choli. She looked out of the world in the green and red combination. A thin veil covered her face. Her arms were laden with bangles and she was sitting with her knees held up closer to her bosom. Her toes peeped out from under her flared Lehenga. Though he wasn’t fond of dressing up, he realized that he loved to see her dressed like a bride. This was a typical setting for the Suhaag Raat. A camera flashed and he blinked. Then he realized Chotu, Surendra, Milind and a photographer were also present in the room.
“What is happening?”
“Wanted the expression when you first see Anita dressed like a bride frozen in a photo” Surendra said sheepishly.
“Please lift her ghoonghat.”
Salim turned towards the voice.
“No!” He motioned them to leave, slightly irritated. He wanted to be alone with her.
“No, we want to take a couple of shots with you two,” Milind added. “So be quick and raise her ghoonghat so we can take a few pictures. We will leave you at peace after that.” Salim let out a breath and he went towards Anita.
Leaning closer he said, “These trouble makers are not going to let us be unless they get what they want.” Slowly he raised her ghoonghat and his breath hitched. She was looking gorgeous with the maang teeka, matching earrings and a big hoop nose ring. Her eyes were lowered; her neck had a matching necklace. She was stunning. She had a small bindi just below her maang teeka. It was then he came back to reality, hearing the camera shutter. He found two photographers capturing their expressions from opposite sides.
Then Milind came and patted his back.
“Bro! Wedding photo time.” Before he knew they made Anita stand up and captured a couple of pics. Sujal and Piyush didn’t let the opportunity to irritate Salim go by so they were suggesting different poses for the photo.
“Enough!” The group scurried away when Salim shouted. Milind asked Salim to come out for a moment and he took him a little away from the door.
“What, Milind?” Salim’s voice held impatience.
“They wanted a moment as Aayi wanted Anita back in the sitting position after the photo session.”
Salim shook his head. He couldn’t believe it. These guys were making this too cinematic. Then they heard a whistle.
“All set!” said Surendra.
Salim noticed the photographers and others had left and Surendra alone stood by the door.
As Salim reached the door, Surendra said, “Anita is now yours with all our blessings. Take care of her, cherish her. She is very precious to us all and I hope . . . no I know she is everything for you. Wish you a beautiful and happy life together.” Surendra patted Salim’s back.
“Good night Jamai ji!” And he left.
Salim took a deep breath and walked in. He looked around to make sure no one was there. He didn’t trust that these guys won’t try to pull another prank on him. He made sure the door to the balcony was locked and then he came toward Anita and sat facing her.
She sat with one hand resting over the other, holding her knees towards her body. He sensed she was nervous. They had made love many times, but this was different. He could smell jasmine and he realized she was wearing it, but then he saw the canopy built with flowers above the cot and that had jasmine as well. There were loads of roses too. He slowly placed his hands on hers and she jumped slightly. He smiled. He slowly raised the ghoonghat again. The sight took his breath away just like it had earlier. His finger went under her chin to lift it. Her tongue sneaked out to wet her lips. Her naturally pink lips looked wet and inviting.
She raised her eyes slowly to look up to him and noticed that his eyes were locked on her lips. She bit down her lips from the fear of showing her nervousness to him.
He noticed her lips quiver at his stare. His eyes slowly spanned her face and reached her eyes. They were highlighted with kohl and eyeliner. His finger slowly eased her nose ring from her nose. Her head gear came out soon; her veil, then the maang teeka. Then one after the other he helped her out of the heavy jewelry. Never breaking the eye contact he removed her anklets. He saw her toes curl at his touch. He repeated the process on her other ankle.
Salim leaned toward Anita. “There is no denying that you just stole my breath away, sitting there adorned in all the finery of traditional bridal attire. But I wouldn’t want to torment you any longer with the burden of its weight.” His lips were barely touching her earlobes. She turned her head and her lips slightly brushed his rough cheeks. The one-night-old stubble brushed against her lips, sending an electrifying jolt through her.
She couldn’t believe Aayi and Surendra had planned all this. Aayi had tears in her eyes when Anita had declined their proposal. She made her say yes and here she was, all decked up like a Christmas tree. She feared he wouldn’t like any of it, but when he had lifted her chin and she had seen his dark eyes and the growing desire in them, she had silently thanked both Aayi and Surendra.
His words ‘to relieve her burden’ were sending tingles down her body. She had felt the jolt of desire as he had held her ankle.
Salim’s hands had easily removed her veil and soon his hands eased off her dupatta. She felt him pull her towards him with his hands around her bare midriff. Taking a deep breath she let her forehead rest on his shoulder. His one hand now held her shoulder and slid down the pallu over her arms, sending the signal of his blatant desire and need. His fingers brushed upward across her arms. He saw the slight lift of her shoulder at his touch. He turned her around and soon his hands helped loosen up the dori and one after the other the hooks behind her blouse. Pulling the blouse slowly he noticed she had not worn the brassiere. He smiled and turned her toward him. She hid her face in his shoulder. He slid the blouse out of his way, out of his vision. He watched her perky mounds and noticed her heightened color. He could understand her shyness even though this was not their first time together.
The traditional setting and attire had a drugging effect. He pulled her into his arms. Her bare skin brushed against his silk shervani. She tried to pull a little away but he didn’t let her go. His fingers had their own naughty mind now. They found the strings which held the Lehenga on her hips and pulled the tie. Easing her on to the bed, he leaned forward. She closed her eyes with her chin tilted, waiting for his lips to descend upon hers. With a naughty smile he watched her body eager for his touch. He felt pride; this silent little woman was his, eager to love him and eager for his love. She felt his hands on her waist. Her hips lifted on their own accord. Slowly he slid her Lehenga down. She closed her eyes.
“Don’t you want to see me in shervani before I am relieved of it?”
Opening her eyes she looked at him as he stood at the foot of the bed. He looked like one of the models dressed in bridal attire. Her lips parted and he saw her eyes darkening with passion.
Locking her gaze with his, he un-wrapped the dupatta from his neck and dropped it on the floor. One by one, all the pieces of his attire joined the dupatta. His strong body loomed over hers. Her breathing started to increase, and like a panther he lowered his body on hers without breaking the eye contact.
He lay like that for a while, savoring the feel of his body against hers, every nerve ending tingling with the contact. His lips slowly found hers, tenderly brushing them and in a moment his tongue took over the duty from his lips. She half rose to give him more access. His hands had started their own exploration and she herself joined in to explore his body, teasing and nudging. His lips traced her jaws and kissed her by the ear, the tender skin just under the lobe.
Her nerve ends had long slipped into an overdrive with his hands molding each of her curves and his teeth nipping her tender skin. Her one hand held his shoulder and the other one grabbed the sheet in a fist. Before she knew, she crashed down into thousands of pieces.
With a thumb he eased her lips. She had been biting on them with passion. She heard his soft moan as she moved. She let her tongue wrap around his thumb sensuously. She couldn’t bear anymore.
“I’m yours for the taking!” Her broken, raspy voice tingled with need and it sent him spiraling down the lane of passion he had never experienced before.
When they finally culminated it was like pyrotechnic, it left them both blinded and completely spent. Somehow managing to lift himself off her soft body, Salim moved to the side but she protested. Smiling he slid next to her, pulling her towards him he spooned her.
“I love you” He whispered into her ears.
“I’m yours to love and yours to take . . .” She whispered back.
He took
a deep breath, still not believing this sweet woman would ever feel that strongly for him.
“I am forever yours, my sweet little one!” He said, his voice breaking with emotions.
“Seal the deal!” She said.
With a wicked smile, he was too eager to grant her wish.
Glossary
Chotu: Commonly used name to address young boys in general when one doesn’t know his real name.
Aayi: Mother
Beti: Daughter
Edethiyamma: Sister-in-law
Mauna vrath: A vow of silence, usually a religious or spiritual practice to maintain silence.
Pundit: In this context he is the Hindu temple priest. They are responsible for performing temple rituals, offering prayers and solemnizing marriages and other major events in human life cycle according to the Hindu customs.
Ji: This is a suffix used with peoples name to give respect.
Mangalsutra: In Sanskrit mangala, means 'holy, auspicious', and sutra, meaning 'thread'. It is a necklace that a Hindu or Indian and sub Indian countries' groom ties around the bride's neck in a ceremony called Mangalya Dharanam that is "wearing the auspicious", which identifies her as a married woman.
Kumkum: It is traditionally applied at the beginning or completely along the parting-line of a woman’s hair or as a dot on the forehead. It is the mark of a married woman in Hinduism.
Mantras: It is a sacred utterance, a numinous sound, a syllable, word or phonemes, or group of words in Sanskrit believed by practitioners to have psychological and spiritual powers.
Chikankari: It is a traditional embroidery style from Lucknow, India. Literally translated, the word means embroidery. It is one of Lucknow's best known textile decoration styles.
Kurta: It is an upper garment for men and women, originating in the Indian subcontinent, with regional variations of form.
Maika: Bride’s parental home.
Yours To Love Yours To Take Page 12