“I should get back to the hospital. I need to give my mom a break.”
“Keep me posted, please. I’ll be here for a few more days. I’d love to see him before I go.”
“Of course. The doctor said as long as he keeps showing progress, we should be able to take him home in a day or two, maybe before you have to leave.”
“That’s great, Blake. Give your mom a hug for me.”
Pushing myself out of the chair, Blake follows my lead and we stand face to face. Only a few inches taller than me, I stare up at the man who destroyed our relationship years ago in search of the boy I used to love. He’s in there, I know it. In fact, I’m pretty sure I can see him searching my eyes for the girl I used to be.
Blake places his hand on my cheek. His hand is warm, and I can’t help but lean into it and close my eyes. I miss this. I miss his gentle and caring touch. I miss the way I always felt loved when I was around him. I miss—
“I’m home!”
Blake quickly pulls his hand back as if my face is on fire.
Thank you Georgie for ruining the moment.
“I should get going.”
“Yeah. Call me later…”
“Of course. Bye, Charlie.”
The words, the way he says them, strikes a nerve deep down in my heart. It’s as if he’s saying goodbye forever instead of goodbye for now. I don’t like it.
Watching as Blake walks down the steps, I fight back tears. They threaten to fall even hours after he’s gone and I’m immersed in conversation over family dinner. Lying on my back, staring at the ceiling, all I can think about is Blake, the first time we met and all the days that have passed since.
There were so many good times. More good memories than bad ones. He’s still the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Well, besides Alice and Scott.
Alice and I spend the next few days attempting to wrap up as many wedding details as we can. It’s harder since we’re not in LA, but we manage to make it work. Blake stops by a few times to give us updates on his dad. He’s being released on Christmas Eve. I won’t be here when he comes home, so I make it a priority to visit him before I leave town.
Knocking on the door, I hear him call out for me to come in.
“Charlotte. I wasn’t expecting you.” Mr. Collins looks great for just having open heart surgery. He’s sitting up in bed, a welcome smile on his face.
“I thought I would stop by and see you before I leave town.”
“That’s awfully nice of you. Didn’t you just get here?”
“I have to get back to New York,” I reply.
“I can’t imagine you’re working during the holidays. Don’t you ever get a break?”
“I do. This was it.” Moving closer, I take a seat in the chair closest to his bed. “How are you feeling today? Blake says the doctor has given you the all-clear to come home soon.”
Mr. Collins rolls his eyes before responding. “Yep. My ticker is working just fine now.”
“I take it he’s driving you a little crazy?”
“Between Blake and Judy, and the doctors and nurses coming and going all hours of the night, I’m ready to get home and relax.”
“You think you’re going to be able to relax when you get home?” I ask, skeptically.
“More than I can here. Plus, Blake has to leave for an assignment after Christmas, so it’ll just be Judy I have to deal with.”
“Good luck with that. She’s always liked to hover. I can’t imagine she’s going to let you out of her sight for a while.”
“As long as I’m in my chair, which is more comfortable to sleep in than this bed, by the way, I’ll be fine.”
I can’t help but laugh. I should have figured he’d be missing his chair.
“You know, Blake gets it from his mom.”
“Gets what?”
“The hovering.”
“Blake doesn’t hover.”
Giving me a look of disbelief, he asks, “Are you sure about that?”
Thinking it over for a minute, there are a few times that come to mind where Blake has hovered. I always thought it was to keep me safe. It was because he cared. I never saw it as hovering, more as him being protective. Smiling, I vividly remember the time Hank gave me a ride home from school and Blake blew a gasket.
“He loves you, Charlotte. Always has. He knew he screwed things up with you, and he’s still trying to figure out how to fix it.” When my eyes flick up to meet his, I see the sincerity behind his words. “Why do you think you’re the first person he called? Why do you think he’s always there when you least expect it? He hates his job. He hates the modeling world. He passes on every assignment you’re not going to be at. He’s chasing you, Charlotte. He probably always will until he can catch you.”
Words escape me. I don’t know how to respond or if I even should. Looking away, I catch sight of the clock on the wall and see it’s time for me to go. Blake is going to be here any minute to say goodbye, and after this conversation, I’m afraid to see him. I need to get out of here before he arrives. I need to run, and fast.
Awkwardly hugging Mr. Collins, I make my escape. The chill in the air stings my face as I make my way to my car. Tucking my chin to my chest in a futile attempt to block the wind, a pair of shoes come into view as I approach my vehicle. I don’t have to look up to know who’s standing between me and my mad dash to freedom.
“You weren’t trying to leave without saying goodbye, were you?”
“No,” I lie. “I didn’t realize how late it was. I have to get going before I miss my plane.”
“You have plenty of time, Charlie. I think you were avoiding me. Kind of like right now, where you won’t even make eye contact with me.”
Forcing myself to look up, I smile at Blake. I never could get anything past him. He knows me too well.
“I really do have to go, Blake. Just hug me so we can get this over with.”
Pulling me in for a hug, I take a deep breath and savor the moment he wraps his arms around me. This use to be one of my favorite places, wrapped in Blake’s arms. If I weren’t scared to admit it, I’d say it still is.
“Be safe, Charlie. Merry Christmas.”
“You, too.”
I stare at Blake in the rearview mirror as I drive away from him. My phone rings, my attention drawn away for a moment when Zach’s number appears on the screen. Looking from Blake to my phone, I have to remind myself that one is my past, the other my future. Why do I have to keep reminding myself of this little fact? It shouldn’t be so hard.
January 2001
Vegas. I should have known. Aubrey has always been a “go big or go home” kind of girl. So, here we are, surrounded by the lights and sounds of Las Vegas, dressed to kill.
Aubrey invited almost every girl she knows. The last time I tried to get a headcount, there were about thirty of us attempting to stay in a group as we made our way out of the casino and down the strip. This party is less about me and more about Aubrey. I knew it would be like this, I just didn’t realize it was going to be this big or this crazy.
Our first stop? A performance with male dancers. Great! If Zach knew this is how we were spending our weekend, he would shit his pants. At least I get to place all the blame on Aubrey when he freaks out.
“Char, are you coming?” Aubrey screams.
She’s at the front of the pack, leading the way. I’ve managed to fall back a little bit, my mind wandering as I take in the ambiance of the strip. It’s my first time here, and I’m a little in awe of everything.
Picking up the pace, I catch up with the rest of the group. I keep in step with them until we arrive at our destination, a hotel called Excalibur. It looks more like a castle than a hotel. Even the inside resembles a castle if you take away all the slot machines and poker tables.
Aubrey hands us each a ticket. The hairs on the back of my neck stand up when she hands me mine, a wicked smile on her face and a twinkle in her eye. She’s got something up her sleeve, and I’m probabl
y not going to like it very much.
Making sure I sit next to her, Aubrey traps me in the middle of the aisle. If it wasn’t glaringly obvious before, it is now. She’s making sure I can’t escape. Well, I have news for her…
“My bladder is about to burst,” I whisper in her ear after a few minutes.
“Make it quick. The show starts in five minutes.”
Sure I will. I’ll also accidentally leave my ticket sitting on my seat. Oops. I guess I won’t be able to come back in. I’m sure I’ll find something to occupy my time. Maybe I’ll even win some money.
Since I actually have to use the bathroom, it’s my first stop. Scanning the casino floor, I find a bank of slot machines with a great view of where Aubrey will be coming from after the show. I want to make sure I see her before she sees me.
My phone starts to ring just as I slide a twenty in the machine and push the button. Digging through my purse, I see Blake’s number on the screen. I haven’t talked to him since right after Christmas.
The ringing stops and starts again moments later. I should answer it. What if it’s important? What if something happened to his dad? Oh god! What if he had another heart attack?
Scrambling to answer before it stops ringing, I drop my phone on the ground.
“Hello! Charlie, are you there?” I hear Blake yelling into the phone as I bend over to pick it up?
“I’m here. Sorry, I dropped my phone.”
“Where are you? I can barely hear you.”
Ugh! As much as Zach hated the idea of this trip, Blake is going to hate it even more. “Vegas,” I answer, covering my mouth around the phone so I don’t have to yell.
“Really?”
“Yeah. This is Aubrey’s idea of a bachelorette party.”
“I should have guessed. She’s always been a bit of a wild card.”
“Yeah. Well, I got the best of her. I slipped out of the show and forgot to grab my ticket, so I can’t get back in. I’m playing slots while I wait for the show to end.” I’m proud of the move I pulled, and I know Blake can hear it in my voice, even with the sounds of the slot machines in the background.
“I’m sure it was an accident. It’s not like you didn’t want to be embarrassed by male dancers or anything, right?”
“How did you know?”
“Just a guess. Are you at the Excalibur, then?”
“Are you stalking me?” I ask, laughing into the phone.
“No, but I do happen to be in Vegas right now. Want me to come pick you up?”
Blake’s in Vegas? Why? How?
“What are you doing here?”
“Work. It’s my last assignment for the magazine. They sent me out here for a local fashion show. The show just wrapped up a few minutes ago. I’m on my way back to my hotel, but I can pick you up on the way if you want.”
Warning bells start going off in my head. This is a dangerous situation. Blake and I haven’t been alone in a long time. Last time it was just the two of us, we fell asleep in each other’s arms and I started questioning everything. I can’t let that happen again. I’m about to get married. To someone else.
Bells start sounding again before I can reply. This time, they’re not in my head. I just hit a small jackpot and my machine is ringing.
“Is that you? Did you just win?”
“Yeah.”
“How much?”
“I’m not sure. I’m playing a nickel machine, and it’s telling me I won a shit ton of nickels.”
“Well, collect your money and meet me out front. We’ll grab dinner. I’ll even let you pay with your nickels.”
I agree, only because there is a casino employee walking toward me to turn the alarm on my machine off, and I need to get off the phone. She kindly hands me a ticket with my winnings printed on it in actual dollars. I just won over three thousand dollars. That’ll buy us a ton of food.
Waiting on a bench near the valet station for Blake to pick me up, I can’t help but watch as people from all walks of life pass by me. Some are dressed to impress while others look more comfortable. My phone chimes with an incoming text message.
Seriously?! I can’t believe you ditched your own party!
I expected Aubrey to be upset. I didn’t need the exclamation point. Now, to play stupid and see if she calls me out.
I couldn’t find my ticket, and they wouldn’t let me back in.
I call bullshit.
Sorry. I’ll meet you back at the room.
No! Wait for me. The show is almost over. We have dinner reservations in an hour.
I’m already in a taxi on my way back. I’ll catch up with you later.
I shut off my phone in case she calls me. I suck at lying to her. My voice gives me away, so she can always tell.
“Charlie!”
Looking up, I see Blake waving at me from a taxi idling a few cars back. I snag my purse off the bench, tossing my cell in it, and make my way over to him. He looks good. He looks happy. It’s not the smile on his face that gives it away, either. He has a glow to him I haven’t seen in years. Not since the day we ventured to the springs to take photos for his project. That feels like a lifetime ago. I was still in high school and he was just getting started in college.
“Hey!” I exclaim as I approach. Blake pulls me in for a hug and kisses me on the cheek.
“I hope you’re hungry. I made us a reservation on the way over.”
“Starved.”
Ducking into the cab, I slide over and make room for Blake. We make small talk on the way to the restaurant. He tells me all about his new job. He’s finally going to be taking photos he cares about, traveling the world with a purpose. He’s chasing his dream. I’m as excited about it as he is by the time the cab comes to a stop.
Dinner is just as nice. The conversation changes many times. His father is doing great. His mom has stopped hovering as much. My parents are fantastic. Georgie made the dean’s list. We talk about our busy lives, the places we’re headed the next few months and everything else under the sun. Everything except my upcoming wedding. That’s a topic he doesn’t bring up and I avoid at all costs.
“What do you want to do now? The night’s still young.”
“Well,” I begin just as I hear my name being yelled from across the restaurant.
What are the chances Aubrey made reservations at the same restaurant Blake did? Unbelievable!
I look to Blake and grimace as she approaches. I’m not sure how she’s going to react to seeing me with him. My lie has been exposed, and there will be no talking my way out of this. Even if she hadn’t caught me in the lie, she’d never believe the truth. When it comes to my relationship with Blake, she doesn’t approve. She never has.
“Well, look who’s here,” she coos as she comes to a stop next to our table. Her hand on her hip is a direct contradiction of the sweet tone she’s taking with Blake. Judging by the look on his face, he’s not falling for the false persona she’s attempting.
“Nice to see you, Aubrey.”
“Same.” Turning to me, she shuts down her conversation with Blake in an instant. “I thought you were going back to the hotel?”
“I was, and then I ran into Blake, and we decided to have dinner.”
“How convenient.”
“It looks like your table is ready,” I say, motioning behind her. All the girls are seated at a long table, staring in our direction. They have no shame. They’re watching to see if Aubrey is going to put on a show or let it go. None of them know who Blake is, but they all know who Zach is. I’m sure one of them has already called or texted him by now.
“So it is. I guess I’ll see you back at the room, then?”
“Of course. Enjoy your dinner, Aubrey.”
Stalking off with a huff, I smile at her back. You can tell she’s pissed just by the way she’s walking. There’s a slight stomp as her heels click against the tile floors.
“Why don’t we get out of here,” Blake suggests. “I feel like I’m being observed.”<
br />
“You are,” I laugh, tossing my napkin on my plate.
Blake settles the bill, not allowing me to pay as promised. Even after I told him how much money I won, he refused to let me pay. I give him a disgruntled look, but all he does is smile sweetly at me, pissing me off more.
With his hand on the small of my back, Blake guides me out of the restaurant. I can feel all thirty sets of eyes on me as we walk past Aubrey’s table. I don’t look over at them, and I don’t wave. Blake, however, fuels her fire and hollers loudly as we pass by. I’m going to kick his ass for that.
“Where to now?” Blake asks as we exit the restaurant.
“I guess back to my hotel.”
“Is that an invitation?”
I whip my head around to face him and find him smirking at me. “Asshole. Don’t think I won’t get you back for stoking the fire with Aubrey, by the way. It’ll be when you least expect it, too.”
“I’m shakin’ in my boots over here, lil’ miss,” he replies, rustling up his best southern accent.
Blake flags down a taxi and holds the door open for me as I practically fall into the cab. “Sorry,” I say as I right myself and tuck my dress under my butt.
“You didn’t twist your ankle again, did you?”
“Is this going to be how it is from now on? You teasing me every chance you get?”
“Maybe. It’s kind of fun.”
I push against his shoulder with my own hard enough to move him but not far. Blake gives the driver the name of my hotel, and he floors it, the motion pushing me back against the seat.
“I’ll sleep like the dead tonight. Aubrey had me up early to catch the plane and wouldn’t let me take a nap once we got here.”
“You really think you’ll be able to sleep through her rampage when she gets back to the room?”
“Um,” I start, contemplating my answer for a few seconds. “I hope so.”
“That wasn’t very confident. Why do you let her push you around anyway? You’re a big girl. You can make your own decisions. She doesn’t have to approve.”
“It’s not that. She’s my only friend. Well, besides you. We work together. We hang out when we’re not at work. Sometimes, it’s just better to avoid the fight. Plus, she planned this entire trip for us. I don’t want to seem ungrateful.”
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