by P. M. Briede
“Ok, lastly Mrs. Grace, I need to ask you about two gentlemen. One we assumed was your fiancé since he brought you in; the other is vehemently claiming to be your fiancé, which has been concurred by Ms. Lochs. You’ve already said that you recognize the name Olivier Cheval, do you recognize Wesley Breaux?” Wesley has been my best friend for as long as I could remember yet at the mention of his name an overwhelming feeling of dread overcame me. I’ve never been afraid of Wesley a single day of my life so it absolutely made no sense. I nodded. “Do you know which your fiancé is?” I thought about it and I couldn’t understand why either man would claim they were engaged to me. I shook my head.
Dr. Silverton looked at the nurse and put his hand out. She placed something sparkly in it and then he showed me a delicate, and beautiful, diamond engagement ring. “Do you recognize this?” Then it all washed over me like a bad dream: the ball, Wesley’s proposal, the results from the blood drops, the governor’s announcement, my panic attack, Wesley’s and Paige’s unknowing confession, Olivier’s secret, and the green fire.
One of the monitors changed from a slow and steady beeping to a rapid and erratic beeping. Concern took over the doctor’s visage as he quickly glanced at the nurse who walked out of the room. “Mrs. Grace, calm down,” he said. “I think we’ve overwhelmed you. Nurse Janison is going to get you a sedative to help you rest. That’s the most important thing. No one is going to be able to come see you for at least another twenty-four hours. So we can work all of that out later. I will update your parents when they call again if it’s alright with you?” I made no indication of agreement or disagreement, I honestly didn’t care anymore. As much as I hate medicine, I was grateful when the nurse put the syringe in my IV and my eyelids grew heavy.
* * *
The next time I woke up, I wasn’t as surprised by my surroundings, but instead thoroughly depressed by them. It hadn’t been an awful nightmare. My mouth and throat were dry so I called the nurse to see about getting something to drink. While I was waiting I decided I needed to see some of my “friends” and get some answers. If everything I thought I remembered was true, this wasn’t something I could avoid with any of them. I knew Wesley had to be the last one I saw because that conversation was going to be the hardest. Oddly enough, Olivier was the person I wanted to see first. I needed to know if that conversation was truth or hallucination.
There was a knock and then the nurse poked her head in. “Yes, Mrs. Grace?”
“Charlotte, please,” I answered in a very rough voice. “Can I get something to drink?” She nodded and left. When she returned, she held the water and instructed me to only take a couple of small sips. I wanted to guzzle it down but anytime I became overzealous she would pull the cup away.
When she turned to leave I stalled her. “Nurse Janison, am I able to have visitors yet?”
She hesitated as she turned back around. “I’d have to ask the doctor. It hasn’t been twenty-four hours yet and the conversation you had with him upset you. You need rest and calm.”
“Will you please ask? I’d like to see them. If you take my phone and he says yes, will you please call Olivier Cheval first?” Anxiety stormed through me when she didn’t pick up my cell but kept walking to the door.
Before quitting the room, she turned to me. “I’ll ask the doctor and there’s no need for me to take your phone. Mr. Cheval hasn’t left the hospital since he brought you here.”
What felt like a lifetime but was only a few hours later, Olivier was sitting in a chair next to the bed. Other than hello he hadn’t said a word. The nurse had said he’d been at the hospital as long as I had but he was clean shaven and he wasn’t wearing his tuxedo from the ball, just plain jeans and t-shirt. His glasses were sitting on the tray across my bed. While from the outside he looked put-together, his eyes communicated exactly how battered and broken he was. The rims were red and bags were sitting underneath. His eyes were distraught and stressed and peered at me expectantly.
I took a deep breath. “Did we have a conversation where you admitted to me that you are a demon?” I started with all the courage I could summon.
Not quite what he was expecting. He blinked. “Excuse me? You think I’m a demon?” So that was a yes. The conversation hadn’t been a dream. “Let’s back track, I’m not a demon …”
“Fine, a devil’s child then.”
“I’m not that either. I’ll answer your questions, Charlotte, but that is something we need to clear up.”
“Whatever, if I recall they were your words not mine. Me fili diabolic. I’m sure that my translation is spot on.”
Amused frustration spread across his face. “I’ve missed your impatience and impertinence, my dear.” He paused, waiting for my next interruption. Irritated by his comment and assumption, I bit my tongue and stayed quiet. “Ah, you’re going to let me explain then. Given your proficiency for Latin, I gave you the first name we were ever given from the human race. But don’t mistake me; I am neither a child of Satan nor a demon. The easiest answer, I am an angel, who unfortunately made a very bad decision a long, long time ago.”
Now that did shock me. “How long ago? The easiest answer?”
It didn’t get past me how calm he was to be telling me all of this. It was obvious from the way he was looking off into the distance, and not at me, that a myriad of memories were furiously playing through his mind. His voice was distant and soft when he answered. “Millennia.” Closing his eyes, he shut the memories off and turned back to look at me. “Specifically, I am, was, a Powers. There are nine types of angels: Seraphim, Cherubim, Thrones, Dominions, Virtues, Powers, Principalities, Archangel, and Angels. I collected souls for God and helped them make their way to heaven while fighting against those who tried to wrongfully gain access.”
“If you were basically border patrol, why are you here now?”
“Border patrol, well I guess that’s one way to look at it. How familiar are you with the Bible?”
“I believe I’ve heard of it.” It was a snarky response, but seriously, given how I’d handled everything he’d admitted to me so far, I found it to be an absurd question. I have read it a time or two and am a believer, though no one would call me devout.
That deep chuckle resonated through the cold space of the hospital room. “Fair enough. When Lucifer planned and executed his attempted rebellion, everyone knew those who picked a side would suffer consequences if they lost.”
“God not only cast out Lucifer but all of those who stood with him and defied the Lord.” I remembered this from the church going days of my youth.
“Correct, Lucifer and his followers were cast out and sentenced to an eternity in hell. But God didn’t stop there. He deemed that those who’d stepped back and stayed out of the fighting were just as guilty as those who had rebelled against him. While our sentence wasn’t as severe, it has been just as painful.”
I remembered this lesson from Sunday school as well and couldn’t even fathom being cast out of heaven. The praises that are sung about redemption and eternal life with our Father in Heaven are designed to entice people to repent and become believers, giving over their lives and hearts to God. To have been there and then cast out with no hope of forgiveness was a sobering thought. The wrath of God indeed. “How have you survived?”
He shrugged and scrubbed at his face. “I’m immortal. The only thing that will release me from this perdition are the ignes iudicii.”
The phrase he used I was unaccustomed to, so it took me a moment to translate it. “I’m sorry Olivier, is that fires of judgment?” This was one of the first things he’d told me that I had no knowledge of.
The smirk he leveled at me was appraising and conspiratorial. “One day you have got to tell me who taught you Latin so well.” Exhaling loudly, he continued. “Yes, fires of judgment. Don’t worry, this isn’t a religious lesson you missed out on. It’s not something humans are meant to know. It is a tool of angels to cleanse the human race if you will. When someone becomes
too influential, too powerful, and begins tipping the scales of good and evil too far in the wrong direction, an angel can be sent to restore balance. In most cases, their present course is either turned, they are led to death, or in dire circumstances they can be eliminated.” Some of these terms stood out among the stores of recollections in my mind. I remembered him using them with another person at the ball before the green fire was lit. This awareness must have played out on my features because he stopped explaining and instead queried. “What is it, Charlotte? You’re thinking about something?”
“Who were you talking to at the ball?” I remembered being afraid, not only for myself but also for him, of the woman he’d been talking about these same things with. I remembered the green ball of fire igniting above her palm just before I felt the sensation of burning from the inside out. The thought sent a cold shiver down my spine and my eyes started to throb. The beeping of my monitor began to speed up.
Concern streaked across his face and he moved to sit on the edge of the bed. “My dear, you have to calm down. They only let me in here if I swore that I wouldn’t upset you. I truly debated whether or not I should because I knew the questions you were going to ask and never did I consider that you would take the truth so well. But if you want me to continue you have to relax.”
Just then, there was a knock and the door opened a crack, allowing Nurse Janison to peek inside. “Mrs. Charlotte, is everything okay?”
Olivier was right. I took a deep breath and fought against the pressure that was trying to build behind my eyes. With a smile plastered on my face I tried to use a cheerful tone. “Yes, everything is fine. My friend was just regaling me with some of the more amusing moments I missed due to my unfortunate accident.” I could tell from his arched eyebrow that my attempt at happiness came off more gruesome due to my injuries. “Olivier, please stop, it hurts so much to laugh. But I appreciate your attempt to cheer me up.”
“You sure?” At my nod she shut the door, giving us back our privacy.
“While you are absolutely the worst liar I have ever met, I applaud your ability to think on your feet. Especially when on the numerous medications I know are flowing through these tubes.” As he spoke, he gently followed the tubing of my IV and caressed the only part of my body that wasn’t covered in bandages, the small point where the needle was inserted into a vein on the back of my hand. That spot was red and raw; I could only imagine how the rest of me looked. They hadn’t let me see my skin when they changed my bandages. I was told it would be too upsetting, so they’d put a mask over my eyes. It was surprising that his touch didn’t hurt but could still send a heat wave coursing up my arm and down my spine.
He didn’t say another word until the monitor emitted a slower melodic beat. “I’m assuming you are asking who I was talking to when I heard you fall into the fountain.” His eyes lifted to lock with mine. We both took a steadying breath before he resumed. “Another exiled angel like myself. After my expulsion, and I hope you can understand somewhat, I was bitter and angry. Most of us were. So while Lucifer and his minions couldn’t escape hell to wreak havoc on the human race, they played on the emotions of the exiles. In my haste to acquire some semblance of the life I’d had before, I made the second worst decision of my life. I picked the losing side and became a Powers for Hell. For most of my exiled life it wasn’t hard. I’d quickly grown to loathe humans now that I had to dwell among them. After all these measly creatures were offered God’s grace, something I’d never be afforded, and in most cases shunned it. Where before I’d come to them at the end to beg and encourage them to repent and accept forgiveness, now I’d lay in wait, watch them die, and intercede before a Powers from heaven got the chance.”
My brain was screaming at me to get away from him, to call the nurse and have him not only removed from my room but the hospital. He ferried souls to Hell, purposely! Yet my instincts were resolved to hear him out. He’d never been anything but gentle and protective with me and while eternal redemption may not be an option for him, I couldn’t bring myself to revoke an opportunity for him to redeem himself in my eyes and earn my forgiveness. “That’s really sinister, Olivier. If that’s how you see us mortals, why is it you are so gentle with me?”
“It never ceases to amaze me that just when I think you’ll put up with me no more, you always insist on seeing the good instead and determinedly strive to understand the unimaginable. I’ve kept so much from you over the years, hidden so much, told you so many lies, yet no matter what form I’ve taken with you, you’ve never turned your back on me.”
“Forms?” This brought forth another image from our conversation. “You said that we’ve met many different times over the years. Who have you been?”
“Dear, before I explain that aspect of my being, will you answer a question for me?” As much as I wanted answers from him, I couldn’t deny his request for one himself. When I told him yes, he inquired, “How did you know?”
“Know what?”
“Know it was me when we were dancing on Valentine’s. Know I wasn’t like you but was different. I know that for this encounter of ours I wasn’t as stealthy at hiding our past or maintaining my lies. But for the life of me I can’t figure out how you knew those two facts.”
It was endearing to hear his wonder at my detection of his lies. I was embarrassed to admit the simple facts as they were. “Olivier, I’d know your touch anywhere but especially during a dance. Your hold is very unique to you and while you obviously are able to hide your face, you couldn’t disguise that from me.” This admission caused his eyes to burn as they only did for me. I averted mine from him, so as not to get lost in them, and forced myself to continue. “And while that would have been enough to make me question your humanity, I’d already put into motion the collection of solid evidence to confront you with.”
“What was that, my dear?” His voice was raspy as he resumed caressing the injection point.
Given what he was, this was the first time I’d ever truly been afraid of his potential reaction. According to him, I’m not supposed to even know the truth, and I’d accidently confided some piece of it to Paige. Well, what’s done is done and the sooner he knows the truth, the better. “Do you remember that day in the music room when you cut your hand?” This time his eyes grew wide with apprehension as he nodded slowly. “Well, I had Paige collect samples of the blood you left in there.”
“I didn’t leave any blood.” When he cut me off, all emotion was gone from his voice, his visage grim. “I absorbed it all.”
“Yeah, about that, you actually didn’t. There were a few drops under the piano. I saw them when I went back to inspect the floor and wire cutters.” He bolted from the bed so fast, I hardly saw the action. He turned his back to me and started rubbing his face with his hands before running them through his hair. I could see the tension building in his body. “If you’re worried that there is a sample of your DNA on record at the crime lab, there isn’t.”
Some of the tension dissipated and he glanced over his shoulder to look at me. “I’m sorry, Charlotte. I shouldn’t be judging you for seeing through my lies and trying to unravel them. But yes, that was my biggest concern given it would be enough of a reason for me to be sentenced to the ignes iudicii. While at one time it was truly what I wished for, since meeting you I have done everything in my power to avoid ever having to face those flames. But if Paige didn’t take them to her crime lab, where did she take them?”
Curious about what these judgmental flames did, I held back the question for now and told him where we’d tested the blood and what the results were. While he wasn’t thrilled that they had actually been tested, he was somewhat relieved that the tests were just run by a bunch of college students. “Do you think Paige can explain it away and keep the professor from digging further?”
“I don’t see why not, but you’ll have to clue her into your secret. There is no way I’m going to be able to keep this from her.” Frustration and annoyance flashed through his eyes, y
et in the end he agreed that in order to ensure the protection of his true identity, Paige would have to be made aware of the truth.
We were silent for a moment, both reeling from all that had occurred. I had a litany of questions running through my mind and I could see the same amount playing across his features. “Who from my past have you been, Olivier?”
“If you think about it, I think you know.” And he was right I did. It was always his eyes. For the next half hour, I offered names of the people in my past, who’d had Olivier’s eyes, and he would alter his appearance to become them. He’d been my first kiss at fourteen from Jason, the nice boy I’d met at a junior high dance and had asked me on a date to the mall. When he’d kissed me at the end, I had been so alarmed at my own response, that I never spoke to him again and didn’t go on another date until after my sixteenth birthday. We’d dated briefly in high school when he was Sam, a boy from my dance class. He had been my friend Jaime, whose last name I’d never gotten, in college who had introduced me to Giles and helped me get through our rough patches when I couldn’t talk to Wesley or Paige. I should have been upset, this man had lied to me most of my life. But I wasn’t, instead I was touched because every image he’d ever been was a pleasant memory that had shaped my life for the better.
“What happens to these people while you commandeer their lives?”
“I don’t take over anyone’s life. I create these personas. They’re all me.”
“Which is your true form? Have I even seen it? What is your real name?”