by Todd, E. L.
“And what was it?”
“Originally, I was a slave to the guild when they found me running through Aequor Forest. I was fleeing from Letumian when I stumbled upon the entrance of their Hideaway. When Nolan saw me, he decided to utilize me in a better way. He said it would be a waste if I wasn’t used.”
“Nolan?”
“That’s the Chief’s name.”
Accacia nodded.
“He personally trained me to become the warrior I am now. I wouldn’t be as strong, intelligent, or gifted it weren’t for him. In that sense, I owe the man my life. My abilities have saved my life numerous times. Nolan vowed to aid my vengeance against my brother, to overthrow him and slit his throat, but the aid never came. In the end, he protected my brother instead of fulfilling his promise to me.”
“Then why did he make such a vow to begin with?”
“I think he meant it—at the time. The Chief and I were close—very close. He was my mentor, my friend. We shared a lot of experiences together. I think the betrayal itself was what sent me away—the breaking of our friendship.”
“Did Father Giloth approve of your investiture in the guild?”
“No, of course not,” he said. “I killed a lot of innocent people without a valid reason. He was very disappointed in me. Those were some dark times in my life, and the old man was disturbed by the life I led. He eventually pulled me out—convinced me to leave. I turned my back on the guild and never looked back—I should have left a long time ago.”
“So why did you leave, Aleco?”
“I just explained that to you.”
“You detailed the factors that influenced the decision—but what was the reason you finally left? The final event that made you flee?”
Aleco was silent for a moment. He remembered the day he left the guild like it just happened a week before. He was already angry with the Chief for his betrayal to him, and Aleco was disgusted with himself for his crimes. Father Giloth, his only living relative, was ashamed of him as well, making him feel even worse. But there was one mission he was forced to complete that he couldn’t accept. He refused to do it. “The Chief ordered me to kill a child—an entire family. Their father tried to scam our money, and Nolan wanted retribution for his betrayal. He sent me away to execute the entire family.”
Accacia grabbed his hand and squeezed it. “You are a good man, Aleco. That decision is all the proof you need.”
“It still doesn’t excuse the other things I did. No life is more important than another.”
“What happened to the family?” she asked.
“I led them to safety then fled to Severstein Sea. I hid in my cave for several months, knowing they would be searching for me vigorously until they found me. I lived in isolation for a very long time, pondering over the past crimes I committed. In that time, I found more reasons to hate myself.”
“I think you are a great man, Aleco.”
“You are the only one who thinks that.”
“No, I’m not.” She smiled. “Father Giloth has great respect for you—and love.”
“Well, I already said he was a coward, so his opinion isn’t of any value.”
“And what about mine?” she asked.
“It matters a little,” he said with a smile.
“Aleco, I don’t want to hear about this anymore—that you are a horrible person because you aren’t. You are one of the greatest men I know—the best.” She grabbed his face and kissed him hard, showing her love for him in her embrace alone. He returned her affection and felt his heart thaw from the ice that encircled it for all of these past years. If she believed he was an honorable man, then he could begin to accept it as well. Aleco knew he could finally move on from the fiend he was and become the man he was meant to be—a hero.
Aleco felt his body drift from the sanctuary and return to his bedroom, where the bottle of brandy still sat at his bedside table and the fire still blazed in the hearth. He placed the Soul Catcher around his neck and pondered the memory. He wasn’t sure what it meant to Accacia, why she deemed it worthy to be remembered. Perhaps it was the moment she knew without a doubt that he was a good man. Now he would never know.
Canu
31
When Zyle woke up the next morning, Accacia was gone. Ever since she found out they were life partners, she tried to avoid him as much as possible. Zyle was frustrated with her behavior, but he didn’t confront her about it. He understood how difficult this was for her and knew she needed her space. His only issue was her safety. She could be in the grasslands, hurt or lost. That’s what irritated him the most.
Since Accacia had only been apart from Aleco for a year, he understood her resistance. He knew without a doubt that she loved him as much as he loved her, and he assumed that the emotion startled her. But he didn’t know how much more of this he could take. He wanted an intimate relationship with her, emotionally and physically, but he missed their friendship and companionship more than anything. She barely spoke to him even though they were living together, sleeping a few feet apart.
Zyle grabbed his shoes by the door and left his eave in search of her. He suspected where she was, so he left Canu and ventured to the beach where she arrived to shore one year ago. As he suspected, she was sitting on the sand and staring out into the ocean. Zyle sighed when he saw her. He walked to her then sat down beside her. She didn’t acknowledge his presence.
The ocean breeze blew through her strands of hair, pulling them from her face. Her green dress flapped in the wind, making her look like a goddess. Zyle didn’t understand how she so ignorant to her own beauty. She was hypnotic and mesmerizing. He could stare at her forever.
“I’m here if you need me,” he said.
Her voice came out barely above a whisper. “I know.”
“Please stop running away from me. I’m not going to pressure you, Accacia. I expect nothing from you. We can forget about the whole thing if you wish, even though I suspect it won’t make a difference.”
She finally looked at him. “What do you mean?”
He sighed. “We fit together perfectly, Accacia. We—just—go together. You can try to deny your feelings and pretend they don’t exist, but they will keep bubbling to the surface. You shouldn’t have to repress them. You love me.”
She rubbed her arms with her hands. “I can’t, Zyle.”
He bowed his head, saddened by her decision. “Accacia, I’m not trying to persuade you, but why? Why won’t you accept our relationship? We are already life partners. We’ve already fallen in love.”
She shook her head. “I can’t do that to Aleco. I love him. I—I just can’t.”
He sighed. “I never asked you to stop loving him. I understand that you feel guilty and that’s normal. I felt the same with Cassandra.”
“What do you mean?”
He ran his hands across the sand while he spoke, trying not to intimidate her with his heated gaze. “The first time I was with someone new, it—it was hard. I couldn’t stop thinking about her and I felt like I was betraying her. But then I realized it was okay. She wasn’t around anymore and she wouldn’t be ever again. I needed to try and move on. I knew she wouldn’t want me to be depressed forever.”
She ran her hands through her hair. “It isn’t the same thing, Zyle. Aleco isn’t dead.”
“But are you ever going to see him again?”
She looked away. She knew that Aleco was gone from her life forever. As much as she loved him and wanted him, she wouldn’t be reunited with him. This is what they agreed on. That she would leave the Continent and never return. Aleco didn’t know where the island was, so even if he did search for her, he would never find her. “No,” she said. “But I just can’t.”
Zyle was quiet for a moment. “Let me ask you something.”
Accacia looked at him.
“If the situation was reversed, and Aleco had feelings for someone else, would you want him not to be with her? Even if she made him happy?”
Acca
cia blinked back the tears in her eyes. The idea of Aleco loving someone else made her want to vomit. Just the idea of him kissing someone else was enough to make her break down. But she knew she wanted him to be happy even if it wasn’t with her. He didn’t deserve to be in any kind of pain. “No.”
Zyle grabbed her hand and caressed it within his own. She didn’t pull away. “I’m not saying this to pressure you, Accacia. I just want you to be happy. Clearly, you are miserable holding this shrine of Aleco in your heart. I’m here whenever you are ready.”
She said nothing for a moment. The tear bubbled underneath her eyes and one escaped down her cheek. The sight broke Zyle’s heart and he moved closer to her, holding her in his arms. Accacia leaned her head against his shoulder. “I thought I was going to marry him, Zyle.”
“I know,” he whispered. “I thought I was going to spend eternity with Cassandra.”
“I’m sorry about all of this.”
He grabbed her face and turned it toward him. His thumb wiped away her tear. He had the urge to kiss her, but stopped himself before the desire overcame him. “You never have to apologize for the way you feel, Accacia. I am your life partner, but I am also your best friend. You can tell me anything. And I will wait forever for you. I know that you love me. We are going to have a beautiful life together—once you accept your fate.”
She sniffed. “I felt like I wasn’t given a choice.”
Zyle stared at her. “You don’t need to answer my question, but just think about it. If you were going to spend the rest of your life with anyone on Canu, commit to them and love them, spend every day with them, who would that person be?”
Accacia knew she would pick Zyle immediately. She felt connected to him in a way that she didn’t feel with anyone else. With him, she felt safe and secure. Their conversations were easy and unforced. Since the moment she met him, she knew he was special. She confessed more secrets to him than anyone else she had ever met, including Aleco. There was no doubt that Zyle would be her first choice. In fact, if she hadn’t met Aleco first, she probably would have fallen madly in love with him already.
“I know you would pick me,” he whispered.
She buried her face in his shoulder but didn’t respond.
“Accacia?”
She wiped a tear away. “Yes?”
“Can we be friends again? I really miss you. I can’t stand being apart from you and I know you feel the same way. If you never want to be something more with me, that’s fine. I’m talking to you as your life guardian, not your life partner. I just want you to be happy and not suffer anymore. We don’t have to talk about this anymore, and I won’t bring it up again. Just please stop running from me.”
She held onto him tighter. “But I—I know you want something more.”
Zyle sighed. “I would be lying if I said no. There’s nothing that I want more than to be with you—as your life partner. But I love you more than anything and I want you to be happy. I will accept whatever you offer me—even if it is just your friendship. Please don’t worry about me. I’m just concerned that you aren’t doing what’s best for you—mourning Aleco forever. I really think that I’m what you need, Accacia—forever.” Zyle ran his hands through her hair then kissed her brow. “I won’t kiss you, I won’t touch you, and I won’t even look at you if you don’t want me to. But please don’t run from me.”
She wrapped her arms around his neck and held him closer to her. “Okay.”
He sighed. “Thank you.” He kissed her forehead then pulled away. The green color of her eyes was more prevalent when she wore the matching dark green dress. They shined bright in the sunlight. Finally, the tears stopped falling and Accacia returned to calm. “Let’s take a walk on the beach.”
She smiled. “Okay.”
Zyle rose to his feet and helped Accacia to stand. They started walking along the coast back to Canu. The hem of her dress dragged across the sand and became wet in the rising tide. She grabbed the end of the fabric and held it at her waist. Her tan legs were revealed under the fabric and Zyle couldn’t stop himself. He looked at her gorgeous legs. When she turned to him, he averted his gaze and looked at the sand below his feet.
“Did Koku and Pia come this morning?” she asked.
“I didn’t see them,” he said. “Perhaps they are nesting. I hardly see them anymore.”
The light in her smile was brighter than the sun. “I would love it if they had babies. I can’t even imagine how beautiful they would be.”
Zyle smiled. “Canu chicks are a wonderful sight. It is a wonderful experience to watch them grow.”
“I can’t wait to be an aunt,” she said.
He raised an eyebrow. “An aunt?”
“Yes,” she said. “Pia is my best friend. Of course, I would be an aunt to her children.”
“I guess that makes me an uncle.”
“We would spoil them rotten,” she said happily. “Those birds would be too fat to fly.”
“Then they would be like their father.” Zyle teased.
She smiled at him then looked out at the ocean. Zyle was glad that her mood had improved substantially. For a moment, he was worried that he lost her forever. He tried to give her as much as space as he could, but he couldn’t live without her companionship any longer. Just walking on the beach with her made him feel relaxed and at ease. He wished there was something more between him, but he would wait as long as she wanted to. The idea of being with her sent shivers down his spine. He had been with many women in his lifetime, but he knew being with Accacia would be completely different.
Canu
32
Accacia packed her gear on the table. She had her waterskin, a sack of mixed fruits and nuts, and her guild sword prepared for her trip. The sight of the sword tugged at her heart. She recalled when she got the blade with Aleco. She forced the thought from her mind.
Zyle sipped his morning tea beside her, watching her arrange her belongings. Pia was perched on her shoulder and Koku sat the window, looking out into the trees for his breakfast, no doubt. He didn’t eat his usual seeds this morning. Zyle assumed he was growing tired of them.
Zyle slept alone in his room for the entire week while Accacia slept on the couch, at her insistence. Zyle kept his word to her and never pressured her to reciprocate his physical desire for her, nor did he verbalize his love for her, attempting to keep her calm. The intensity of her emotions caused her mind to snap. She was delirious with insanity, and Zyle wanted to avoid repeating that as much as possible. That was the very reason why he hid another truth from her. He would wait until she was ready to hear it.
Now that he was committed to Accacia as his partner—for the rest of their lives—he thought about her in ways he previously would have been ashamed of. Now that he was married to her, he felt entitled to fantasize about her. Zyle felt his impatience waning at her prudence. He hadn’t even kissed her.
Accacia shouldered her pack and belted her sword to her hip. Pia nibbled her ear and flew to the window. “I’ll be back in a few weeks, Pia.”
Pia clicked her beak.
Zyle stood up and walked with her to the entrance. She was going to the Battle Academy for additional training. If they deemed her worthy, which he knew they would, she would be there over the course of a few weeks. Zyle was not looking forward to her absence. He hoped the time apart would allow her to think clearly and realize she needed to move on and be happy with him. Zyle didn’t know how long he could keep his hands off of her.
He escorted her through the marketplace and into the city towards the eastern corner of Canu, where the Battle Academy was located. They walked down the forest road in silence until they reached the outside of the stone building. The structure was similar to the vision in Zyle’s Soul Catcher, but it differed slightly. It was smaller.
Zyle kissed her forehead. “Don’t be nervous,” he said as he hugged her. “I know you will do great. You are practically a warrior as it is.”
Accacia pulled away a
nd smiled at him. Zyle’s handsome features made her heart melt. He was so beautiful it hurt sometimes. She wanted him in a physical way, but she could never admit that. Her feelings for Zyle were strong, but she didn’t want them to exist. Every time she thought about Zyle in a romantic way, she felt like she was betraying Aleco. The whole situation was driving her insane. It was obvious how much Zyle, her husband, wanted her, and she felt horrible for not giving him what he wanted, especially since she wanted to be with him just as much. She couldn’t bring herself to voice her thoughts. “Thank you for being so patient, Zyle. I know you are frustrated with me.”
Zyle laughed. “I would be lying if I said I wasn’t. It would be nice to kiss my life partner, at least.” Zyle looked at her. He caught the pained look on her face and immediately regretted his words. He didn’t want her to feel pressured. “Take your time, Accacia. There is no rush, really. I will wait as long as you want me to.”
Accacia stared at the smile plastered onto his face and knew his feelings were not genuine. The brightness of his eyes had faded and she knew his thoughts. He assumed she would never return his desire. He gave her the same look Aleco did, one that said that he not only wanted her, but needed her.
Accacia grabbed his face and pulled his lips to hers. She kissed him, slipping her tongue into his mouth, and felt his warm breaths fill her cavity. Zyle squeezed her to his chest and ran his hand down her back. The intensity of his emotions was stronger than anything he had ever felt. He didn’t want it to end. It was so unexpected and raw, it made him shiver. The taste of her lips was sweet on his tongue. He wondered what the rest of her body tasted like. Zyle felt the arousal coursing through his body as she massaged his lower lip with her own. He felt his body shake at her touch. She pulled away and Zyle thought he would explode.
Zyle pressed his forehead against hers. It took a moment for him to catch his breath. “I look forward to our next meeting.” His hands were wrapped around her waist and his eyes were glued to her lips, wanting to feel their embrace again. He wished she had done this earlier when he could have indulged himself with her touch.