by J. Nathan
Then, as if a horrific car crash, everything flipped on its head. His nightmares. Him pissed at himself for falling asleep. Him calling our night a mistake.
And, as much as I wanted to tell him we could work through it all, I had too much pride to beg him to want me.
We arrived at the shelter amidst a blanket of dark clouds. The forecast didn’t call for rain, but it would remain overcast—as if the heavens knew this day was going to suck. I opened my door before Tristan even shifted into park, needing to be far away from him.
I greeted Doris inside and headed to get my first three dogs. I stopped outside a cage with a new small black dog in it. “Doris? Who’s this cutie?”
“Oh, that’s Simone. She’s quite a handful. A real yapper.”
“Hello, Simone,” I said to the black dog.
She barked.
“Shhh. It’s okay. I’m gonna take you for a walk. Would you like that?”
She barked, but something about the way she did told me she was answering my question. I leashed her up as well as two other dogs then headed outside.
I avoided looking to where Tristan leaned against the car as the dogs headed straight toward the path. And, even with Tristan trailing somewhere behind me, walking in the woods gave me time to think. Time to reflect on what the hell happened between us. Tristan had been into it. He’d treated me the way I hoped to be treated by someone I cared about. He’d made me feel cherished. He made me feel wanted. He made me feel everything I knew he would. Then he had the nightmare, received the text from the bodyguard in the hallway, and all hell broke loose.
Rule number one. I got it. He wasn’t supposed to be with me.
But if Tristan had been being honest about his feelings about me, there was no way he could’ve just shut them off because someone told him to.
Could he?
Well, I had news for him. If he was going to act like nothing happened between us, so was I. It was the only way to preserve my heart.
The drive back to campus was just as silent as the ride to the shelter. My eyes remained on my phone. A text from Chris popped on the screen. Hey! What are you up to?
Just driving back from volunteering. You?
Bored.
My thumbs fired off a text. Want some company?
His response was immediate. Yes! Wanna come by the frat house?
I glanced to the rearview mirror. Tristan’s eyes were on the road. I sent off my reply. Be there in ten minutes.
I’ll wait outside.
I smiled, knowing this would totally piss off Tristan. Not only was it not pre-planned for security measures, but it showed him that I didn’t need him. If he could shut his feelings down, I was gonna try damn hard to do it too. “Bring me to Sigma Chi,” I said to Tristan without meeting his eyes in the rearview mirror.
“No.”
“You work for me,” I clipped. “And I said I want to go there.”
“I’m not your chauffeur.”
I met his gaze in the mirror. My eyes narrowed, and I hoped the hurt and anger I felt was conveyed through them. “I’ll walk.”
“I’m not escorting you there.”
“Do I look like I need you or your permission?”
His eyes cut away and focused back on the road.
“Briggs can take me. That’s his name, right? The guy you told I was a mistake.”
He said nothing and when we pulled through the front gates of campus and through fraternity row, I wondered if he’d relent. He didn’t.
“Stop the car!” I demanded as we passed Sigma Chi.
“Nope.”
Chris sat out front on the porch waiting for me, not even realizing I was being held captive by a surly bodyguard. “I hate you.”
Tristan didn’t respond, which just pissed me off more.
“You can’t not want me, Tristan, but then stop me from seeing someone who does.”
He still said nothing.
“I need friends. I need people who want to be around me. I need normal in my life. You can’t stop me from having that.”
He pulled to a stop in front of my dorm.
I threw open the door and jumped out, walking in the opposite direction of the entrance. I was not trying to be immature, but he was pushing me by not being honest with me or himself. I’d go to the fraternity. I’d spend time with a guy who wanted to spend time with me. I’d erase Tristan Stone from my brain forever.
I yelped as I was lifted right off my feet.
“Knock this shit out,” Tristan said as he threw me over his shoulder.
“Put me down,” I said through gritted teeth as heads turned as we moved by a group of students standing outside the building.
“No.”
Anger pulsed through me and tears stung my eyes as he carried me to the entrance of the dorm and scanned his card. Why was he doing this? He was the one who needed to knock it off. He wasn’t being fair. He didn’t want me. He didn’t care about my feelings. But now he was going to go all caveman on me. This was messing with my head and my heart. Didn’t he realize that?
“Put me down,” I demanded.
“Will you go up to your room?” he asked.
“Do I have a choice?”
He released a breath before lowering me to my feet.
I righted myself before climbing the stairs to my floor. I walked ahead of him down the hallway and stopped at my door, knowing the drill but hating that I had to spend another second near him.
He entered my room and checked it before walking back out into the hallway. He turned to face me, like he had something to say.
I walked into my room and slammed the door in his face. I moved to my bed and dropped face first onto it. I lay there for a long time, hating that I was trying to make Tristan jealous. Hating that my pillow still smelled like him. Hating him for treating me like I was just a one-night stand. Hating that he told the new bodyguard that what happened was a mistake. I was a mistake.
There was a knock on my door a little while later. I pushed myself up from my bed, cursing myself for wanting it to be Tristan. Wanting him to tell me the truth. I moved to the door and waited for him to speak.
“Kresley? You in there?” It was Chris.
Shit. I’d never texted to let him know I couldn’t come by.
I opened the door, half expecting Tristan to be frisking him, but Chris stood alone and Tristan’s door remained closed. He must’ve been in the shower because caveman Tristan would’ve been out there if he knew Chris had come by. I looked to Chris hoping he could see the regret on my face. “I’m so sorry. My driver was having a bad day and refused to take me over. I came in here and…fell asleep.” I was a terrible liar.
His eyes narrowed, clearly not buying my excuse.
“Come in.” I stepped back. “You wanna watch a movie or something?”
His lips pulled into a smile, my indiscretion quickly forgotten. “Sure.”
I closed the door and moved to my bed, straightening the comforter where I’d thrown myself down earlier.
“How was volunteering?” he asked.
“Good. There’s a new dog that’s super cute.” I sat down on my bed with my back against the wall and my legs stretched out in front of me. I patted the spot beside me so he knew it was okay to sit on my bed. “What should we watch?”
Chris slipped off his shoes and sat beside me. We skimmed through the titles on Netflix on my laptop. “Oh, have you seen Money Heist?”
I shook my head.
“It’s dubbed, but it’s awesome. Totally binge-worthy.”
We turned it on and spent the next three hours watching it. He was right. It was awesome. But I couldn’t shake the emptiness in my chest about what happened with Tristan. And I couldn’t shake the thoughts that I wished it was Tristan beside me doing normal college stuff instead of Chris.
“You getting hungry?” Chris asked. “We could get a pizza.”
“Sure.”
“How do you feel about Hawaiian?”
“Never had it. B
ut I’m open to trying new things.”
He ordered the pizza then we watched one more episode of the show before there was a knock on the door.
“Who are you?” Tristan’s deep voice carried through my door from the hallway.
Shit.
I jumped off the bed and hurried to the door, throwing it open.
Tristan looked to me with daggers as he held the delivery guy’s arm. “Forget to tell me something?”
I ignored him and looked to the delivery guy. “Jeff!” I was so glad to see a friendly face, but he looked totally confused. “I’m so sorry about him.” I took the pizza box from Jeff’s hand. “How much do we owe you?”
“We?” Tristan asked just as Chris stepped into my doorway. His gaze dropped to Chris’ bare feet and then cut to my eyes. Anger stewed in his gaze.
Jeff’s eyes jumped wearily from Tristan to Chris to me. Then he burst into laughter. “It’s already paid for,” he assured me, his wide eyes showing intrigue.
“Oh. Great. I’ll see you Monday in class,” I said, shooting him a look that hopefully conveyed that I’d fill him in then. I spun around and walked into my room.
Chris followed me in, shutting the door behind us and leaving Tristan standing alone in the hallway. “What’s really going on with that guy?”
I grabbed a slice of pizza from the box, took a bite, then sat cross-legged on my bed. “Do we really have to talk about him?” I asked with a mouthful.
Chris sat in my desk chair, the one Tristan usually occupied. “No.” He grabbed a slice. “But I’m starting to have some questions.”
I nodded, understanding why he would.
“It’s more than just your parents being cautious, isn’t it?” he said.
“Yeah.”
“Are you in some kind of trouble?”
I shrugged. “I could be.”
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
“I think I’ve got it covered in that department.”
His eyes drifted to my closed door, as if looking to Tristan’s room.
I nodded my answer to his unasked question.
And then that was it. He let it go. At least for the time being.
We shared the pizza then he moved back onto my bed, where we watched another couple of episodes of the show.
Somewhere around midnight, my eyelids became heavy, and I found it difficult to keep them open. My head tilted onto Chris’ shoulder, and I felt myself slowly drifting off. Maybe I didn’t need Tristan. Maybe I just needed to know someone was there…
Visions of my apartment in France manifested. I saw myself standing alone in my room. Blood covered my shaking hands. I called for Andre but he didn’t come. Tears fell from my eyes. A masked man stepped into my doorway. His heavy footsteps echoed like a drum. He circled me, but I couldn’t move. My feet were stuck to the floor. I struggled to get them free but they wouldn’t budge. “Le fou de fortune,” he whispered. Then his voice grew louder. And louder. I lifted my hands to my ears but it wouldn’t block out the sound. “This isn’t over,” he said as he stepped in front of me. I could see blood soaking his mask, the smell burning my eyes.
I screamed out, my body jolting upright.
But I wasn’t in France. I was sitting in my dorm room with my heart thrashing in my chest and sweat drenching my shirt. And Chris was still sitting beside me.
His eyes were wide with fear. “Are you okay?”
My door sprang open and Tristan rushed in. In one swift movement, he grabbed Chris off the bed by his neck and slammed him against my now closed door.
“What the hell are you doing?” Chris cried, struggling against his grip.
“What did you do to her?”
“Nothing,” Chris said, his voice rising with fear.
“Tristan, stop it! I was having a dream.”
He didn’t look at me. He kept his hand and eyes on a terrified Chris. “You need to get your things and go home,” Tristan said, his tone calm yet menacing.
“Tristan, let go of him!” I climbed off my bed and rushed to them. “Now!”
He reluctantly released Chris and stepped back.
“I’m so sorry about this,” I said to Chris as he gathered his shoes and shoved his feet into them.
“It’s late anyway,” he said, though I knew he was embarrassed by the ridiculous turn of events.
“I had fun,” I said, trying to reassure him though I was still reeling from the nightmare I’d just had.
His eyes shot to Tristan. “Yeah.” Chris moved to the door and Tristan stepped back as he opened it.
I followed Chris into the hallway. “I really am sorry.”
“You have nothing to be sorry about. I’m sorry you had a bad dream.”
“Yeah.”
He moved forward and pressed his lips to my forehead. “I’ll call you.”
I wanted the intimate gesture to elicit feelings in me. Warmth. Desire. Need. But it didn’t, falling so much flatter than the jolt of electricity accompanying Tristan’s lips anywhere on my body.
Once Chris disappeared into the stairwell, I turned back to my room prepared to face Tristan. I stormed inside only to find him in my desk chair with his face in his palms.
“I’m sorry you were having a nightmare,” he said.
“Yeah, well, you should’ve considered that before you barged in my room.” I moved to the closet and pulled off my now-sweaty clothes, tossing everything into my laundry bag hanging inside. I had no idea if Tristan was looking. But I actually welcomed it. Look at what you could’ve had if it hadn’t been such a mistake. I pulled on a tank top and pajama shorts then opened my door and stepped into the hallway. “I need to brush my teeth.”
I walked to the bathroom and waited outside with my arms crossed, waiting for Tristan to arrive.
When he finally did, I could feel his eyes on me, but so much hurt and confusion filled me, it was better not to look at him.
As he searched the bathroom, my chest tightened around my racing heart, hating him for kicking Chris out even though he knew I’d had a nightmare. A nightmare that could have been prevented if he hadn’t abandoned me.
When he stepped back out, I walked around him, careful not to touch him. I walked inside and intentionally took my time. He could wait.
When I finished in the bathroom, I found him leaning on the wall outside my room. I walked in and Tristan followed me. I spun around, holding up my palm to stop him. “You can stay in the hall.”
“Kresley,” he said, his voice soft and concerned. “Your nightmare.”
“Not your concern.” I turned away, moving to my bed and slipping under my comforter.
He paused, like he wanted to say something. But there was nothing left to say. I had a nightmare because he wasn’t there. He knew it and so did I.
Apparently, that wasn’t enough to make him admit he’d been wrong. Admit he was being a coward.
He turned toward the door and opened it. He didn’t pause this time. He switched off my light and stepped out into the hallway.
The door clicked shut behind him, and only then did I allow the tears to fall.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Kresley
Briggs was out in the hall waiting for me Monday morning. And while I should’ve been pleased not to see Tristan, my heart wilted. But I pulled it together. I would not feel let down. I was so much tougher than that. So much smarter than that. I didn’t need a guy who didn’t want me. “You ready for college?” I asked Briggs as we made our way out of the building.
“Ready as I’ll ever be,” he said.
I laughed. He was young like Tristan, so he probably skipped college and went right into the security business. “Watch out for college girls. They see fresh meat and pounce.”
He snickered. “I think I can handle college girls.”
“You say that now.”
We walked the rest of the way in silence. Briggs, was a good-looking guy with a buzz cut resembling someone in the military. He was stock
y, not as tall or built as Tristan, but he still had that edge needed to work security.
“Any word on Marco’s wife?” I asked him.
“She’s still being monitored, but the doctors say she’s doing okay.”
I made it to my first class and Briggs waited in the hallway. As much as I wanted to dislike him for all but telling Tristan that he and I were a bad idea, I understood he was just trying to get him to do the right thing for his business. Dating a client was a bad idea. Tristan had said so himself.
“So, you said you had a few options,” Jeff said as soon as I arrived to accounting class later. “But I didn’t realize they were ready to throw down for you.”
“Oh, God, what a nightmare. I’m so sorry about that,” I said, closing my eyes as recollections of the scene flashed through my mind.
“That dude grilled me like he thought I was some kind of pizza-carrying ninja ready to fight him.”
I cringed, hating that this was my life. “Yeah, he’s a little…intense.”
“I’d say…So, which one’s your man?” he asked, brushing it off like those kinds of things happen to him all the time.
“Neither,” I said.
“Yeah, right.”
The professor entered the room and our conversation thankfully came to an end.
***
Briggs accompanied Elodie, Alice, and me to the dining hall for dinner. Where had Tristan been? Had he asked not to see me or had it been recommended that he take a break?
“So…Chris?” Alice asked.
“We binged a Netflix show and ate some pizza,” I explained.
“Yeah, so your text said last night,” Elodie added. “But we heard a commotion in the hallway Saturday night.”
“Marco’s wife got rushed to the hospital and he needed to leave quickly.”
Their eyes widened.
“Is she okay?” Elodie asked.
“I think so. Marco sent Briggs in his place,” I explained.
“We didn’t hear Marco. We heard Briggs,” Alice clarified. “He was reaming out Mr. Hottie for being in your room.”
Elodie and Alice had certainly missed a lot. But I was too embarrassed to share that we’d slept together then he called it a mistake. “You guys know Tristan stays in my room. In a chair.”
“Sounded like Briggs knew something,” Elodie said.