by Rhea Rhea
I did this to him.
I reduced this man to tears. Again.
I walk over to him and kneel down. I reach out, trembling, pulling his shaking hands away from his face. When he raises his head, the pain in his eyes guts me. Before I can say a word, he pulls me close, holding me so tight I can barely breathe.
I whisper, “I’m so glad you didn’t leave. I was looking for my phone so I could call you and tell you to come back.”
The words I couldn’t say before start flowing out of me. I tell Tucker everything Wesley said, and how it battled inside my head, the hurtful words Tucker’s dad said to me, making me doubt I was enough for him. I lay all my doubts and insecurities out there for him, wanting him to know it’s me and not him. How sorry I am that I broke all my promises, again, and that if he can forgive me I’ll never break another one for as long as we live.
Finally Tucker says. “I couldn’t leave. I didn’t want to.”
He releases his tight hold on me, bringing his hands to my face, gently wiping away my tears.
I reach up and do the same for him.
Sitting here in his lap, staring into his eyes, I can see it all. All the love, all the hope.
But I also see his pain… the pain I caused the both of us... and I need to erase it. I do the only thing I can think of. I kiss him.
Softly, I press my lips against his to say, “I’m sorry,” before whispering against them. His hands slide into my hair as he takes over, brushing his lips across mine, telling me we’re okay. His tongue slides across my bottom lip, urging mine to open, and let him in. As soon as our tongues collide, we are lost in each other.
Tucker’s fingers tighten in my hair as he devours my mouth. I feel his love and desperation burning behind every action. And I know he’s holding me so tightly to keep me from running away again. I wrap my arms and legs tight around him, hoping he knows I’m not going anywhere.
When Tucker stands, I lock my ankles behind his back and he walks us to my room. He lays me on the bed just as softly as he did the first time, except this time he comes down with me, never breaking our kiss, his body pressing mine further into the mattress. The world could have exploded around us in this moment and neither of us would notice.
His lips leave mine but never leave my skin. Tucker trails kisses all over me as he removes my clothes. Soon we’re both naked, and I feel his hands on my ankles just before they slide all the way up to my inner thighs. He lets go and takes my hands, raising them over my head and entwining our fingers, lowering his face to kiss me. Our bodies unite as he takes possession of mine in one swift motion. He pulls out slowly before pushing back in. We move together, our bodies communicating more than our words could ever say.
* * *
Tucker
I don’t need to hear anything else from Brenna. I saw it all in her eyes. Felt it in her kiss. And right now, her body is speaking to mine like never before. Releasing one of her hands, I reach down and pull her leg further up my waist so I can go deeper. Moving faster and with each stroke, I feel her tighten around me, and know I’m going right along with her. By the time her orgasm hits, I bury myself deep inside her and let go.
We’re both out of breath. I roll us over so I don’t crush her with the weight of my body. It now feels like years have passed since I sat against her front door, afraid to look at her…afraid she’d make me leave.
When she didn’t pull away, I started to feel relieved. Hearing her pour her heart out… all her doubts and fears… I knew I could fix us. I couldn’t let him come between us again. Waiting for her to make the first move was hell when all I wanted to do was kiss her like she’s never been kissed before.
I need to reassure her that everything Wesley said was untrue. “You know he was lying don’t you? I’ve never lied to you and I never will.”
“I knew he was lying as soon as he said it. It all just overwhelmed me and I couldn’t get it out of my head. I thought that you deserved better than someone who causes you so much pain.”
“I love you, Brenna. Never, ever doubt that. What I said earlier, I meant that. The past doesn’t matter. Let that go. I want us to focus on our future. No more running. No more hiding. And never, ever say goodbye to me again.”
“I love you, too, and I’m sorry. I know ‘sorry’ isn’t enough but I have to say it. The past is the past. I’m looking forward to the future. No more goodbyes.”
I kiss her forehead and we lay there holding each other until I realize she’s fallen asleep. The emotions and the stress had exhausted us both. I close my eyes, realizing she’s got the right idea.
* * *
I wake up with empty arms. Brenna isn’t here, but I hear the TV echoing from the living room. I get up out of bed and pull on my jeans to head out there.
Brenna comes out of the kitchen, her eyes on her phone. I reach out to catch her before she walks right into me.
“You know, you should watch where you’re going.” I tell her before leaning down to kiss her.
“Sorry, I was texting Lexi. We were going to get Chinese takeout tonight and watch TV but… well, you know.” She flashes me a silly grin.
Food sounds good. I’m starving. “She still coming over?”
“Guess that’s up to you.” She hands me her phone.
I take her phone and scroll down looking for Lexi’s name, and hit the send button. When Lexi answers I tell her to add more food to the order, and to hurry her ass up. I hand the phone back to Brenna, who looks at me like she can’t believe I just spoke to Lexi that way.
“What?” I shrug. “I’m hungry.”
She just shakes her head and laughs as she takes a seat on the couch. I follow and plop down beside her, leaving a little space between us. But within seconds, she curls up into my side. She knows where she belongs.
While we’re waiting for Lexi, I tell Brenna about Spencer. He’s been a good friend and employee for the past couple of years. I mention that I’ve considered introducing him to Lexi. As soon as I say her name, she comes through the door. I swear. I can’t decide if this chick has either bad timing or perfect timing. This time it’s perfect. I was seconds away from withering away from starvation.
“Introduce Lexi to whom?” Lexi asks as she walks through the living room to the kitchen.
“Tucker wants you to meet his friend, Spencer.” Brenna says. Her eyebrows waggling at Lexi, she stands and rushes off to speak to her.
I wait a moment then follow into the kitchen. As soon as I enter, I hear Lexi ask Brenna what he looks like. But I know Brenna has no idea because I haven’t told her. They both peer at me with expectant looks on their faces. Hell, he looks like a guy. Why do girls do this to men?
Grabbing Lexi’s hand, I say in a high-pitched voice. “Oh my God, girl, he is so hot.” I fan myself sarcastically and try not to burst out laughing. I take a seat at the kitchen table, crossing my legs. They are both laughing hysterically now.
Brenna calms down and says, “Be serious, Tucker. Tell her what he looks like.”
I uncross my legs and take back my man card. How the hell men actually sit like that is beyond me. It’s not real comfortable.
After Brenna hands me a container of food, she grabs a few plates and sits next to me. Lexi takes a seat across the table. Both of them are quiet, waiting on me to describe Spence.
“All right.” I scoop some food onto my plate. “He’s about my height, a little leaner than me, and has dark hair.” I wait to see if that’s good enough.
Lexi’s eyes widen. “Eyes, teeth? I need to know these things.”
I reply, “He has both.”
Brenna backhands me in the stomach and laughs at the glare Lexi shoots my way. “What? I answered her.”
Lexi groans. “You suck. You know that.”
I shrug. “Dark hair. And he has all his teeth, I reckon. I’m a guy, Lexi. We don’t pay much attention to that stuff.”
Guess that satisfies them since they are both now quietly focused on their food.
Finally, I’m able to satisfy my own hunger. Lexi sticks around for a little while longer, then goes back to her own place for the night. Brenna and I lie on the couch and watch TV a little longer before heading to the bedroom. I’ll see about moving her to my house now, instead of later this week. After Wesley’s surprise visit, I think she will agree.
Chapter Thirty
Brenna
It’s a new day and the sun’s shining as bright as our smiles. Yesterday’s worries are gone. We’re back to the happiness we felt before Wesley barged into our lives.
Tucker woke me up with his hands and mouth all over me. A very good way to start the morning. When we finally get out of bed, we shower and eat breakfast. He says there was something he wants to talk to me about, but first I have a gift for him.
I run into my bedroom and open the drawer, pulling out the box that holds his pocket watch. I remember how I felt two weeks ago when he gave me my pendant, and I hope he loves this just as much. I walk back into the living room and lean over the couch, touching his shoulder with the box.
“What’s this?” He asks taking it out of my hand.
“Open it.” I crawl over the back of the couch and drop down next to him to see his reaction.
Tucker opens the box and pulls out the watch to take a closer look. He reaches up to my necklace and flips it over to see the engraving, then takes another look at his gift. I watch his face as he pushes the release button to open the lid. At first he seems surprised, but he smiles at me, his eyes full of so much happiness and love. I can feel it reaching from inside him and grabbing ahold of me.
Within seconds I’m in his arms and he’s kissing me. I guess this to mean he likes the gift. I had the same thing engraved into the lid that he had engraved on the back of my pendant.
Forever Mine
He breaks the kiss long enough to say, “I love you, Brenna. This is the best gift anyone’s ever given me. Thank you.”
“You’re very welcome.” I respond. And suddenly, his mouth overtakes mine once again.
After our lips have become swollen and numb, we finally talk about me moving sooner than we’d originally planned. I understand Tucker’s reasons and have no objections. Being without him is awful, and I almost screwed it up once. Lesson learned. The pain is unbearable, so I must move in with him soon.
I tell Tucker, yes, we can start packing my stuff today, right after I call Mom. Instantly, I rush to my bedroom to speak to her in private.
I talk to Mom a few times a week, so she knows Tucker and I are together. I’ve waited for her to say something about that fateful conversation she had with him years ago, but she never has.
She’s quiet for a few minutes before she clears her throat and tells me that she’s okay with that, but first she wants to speak with both me and Tucker. So there it is. She then asks when’s the next time we will both be in Cave City to visit her. I tell her to hold on and mute my phone to ask Tucker. He says we can go to her house in a few hours. I guess Tucker wants to get it over with.
While I tell Mom to expect us later that evening, Tucker calls Spencer to ask if he’ll help with my move. I have a hunch the real reason is because he wants to introduce him to Lexi.
Thirty minutes later, Tucker has stolen my keys and he’s driving my baby down the road. Since he’s driving, I text Lexi to let her know what’s going on and to give her a head’s up that she could be meeting Spencer tonight. She hasn’t dated anyone seriously for a while now, so I’m hopeful that they’ll hit it off. I want Lexi to find the right guy. Who knows, maybe I’ll get lucky and she’ll end up with Spencer. That would hopefully mean she’d move to Cave City and we could continue our friendship after graduation. It would break my heart to lose contact with her.
Tucker’s hand rests on the gear shift. I place mine on top of his, and he spreads his fingers apart so my fingers can slip in between. Guess we’ll shift gears together. We are quiet during most of the trip. I have to admit, I’m a little worried about what will happen at Mom’s house.
My mom is a good person and I know all she ever wanted was the best for me. She has always been both mother and father, since my sperm donor up and left her as soon as she told him she was pregnant with me. I’ve never met him, nor do I ever want to. I don’t need to know a man like that. I’ve barely asked her any questions about him, afraid it would be painful for her to answer. I really don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything by not knowing him. You can’t miss what you’ve never had, right?
I respect Mom for the sacrifices she made to raise me by herself. She could have taken the easy way out. I can’t imagine raising a kid on my own.
That reminds me…it’s possible that I could have my own little one, sometime around the beginning of next year, if my math is correct. My hand automatically goes to my stomach. Tucker notices, and he glances over with a big smile.
I have no worries with Tucker. I know he would be overjoyed if his baby was growing inside me.
“How long before we know?” he asks.
“I don’t know. A few weeks I guess.” I pull out my phone to check my calendar and realize I should have started my period yesterday.
One day late.
I warn myself not to get my hopes up, even though I’ve never been late before.
Tucker’s voice is hesitant. “It’s okay if you’re pregnant, right?” By the way he asks the question, it sounds like he’s afraid I’ll say no.
“Yeah, I’m okay with it.” I hope my answer conveys my certainty. I want him to know I mean it, and not just saying this to make him feel better. The more I think about a possible pregnancy, the more anticipation I feel. If I’m not pregnant we can keep trying. I can’t imagine how amazing it would be to share our love with a brand new person we’ve created.
* * *
Tucker
During our drive, I quietly worried about seeing Brenna’s mom. But those thoughts flew out the window when Brenna placed her hand on her belly. I have no idea how long we have to wait until we know if she’s pregnant, and it’s driving me crazy. I want to know now.
But I know one thing for sure, no matter what happens to me and Brenna, we’ll get through it together.
I take a deep breath as we pull into her mom’s driveway, exhaling slowly as I raise the brake and turn off the ignition. We stay in the car for a few minutes, both of us staring straight ahead in silence. I eventually unfasten my seatbelt and lean over to Brenna and say, “Everything will be okay.”
She nods, and I kiss her.
We open our doors and head for the house. I wait for Brenna to reach me, and then I take her hand in mine as we march toward whatever awaits us inside that house.
Ms. James must have heard us pull up. She stands there waiting holding the screen door open to welcoming us inside. After we exchange our quick greetings, Brenna and I sit on the sofa in the living room and I take her hand.
We both look at Ms. James, letting her know we’re ready when she is.
Ms. James takes a deep breath. “First, let me say I was going to wait till after you graduated to tell you this. When you told me how things were progressing between you and Tucker, I knew we needed to have this talk.”
I see her hands shake in her lap. She’s more nervous than I expected, so I try to help the conversation along. “Ms. James, Brenna knows my version of what happened that day when you told me I wasn’t good enough. I didn’t want her to be upset with you, and I asked her not to say anything until after she was finished with school so we could speak to you together. I understand more about it now than I did at the time. And I don’t hold it against you.”
Ms. James gives me a glance, then her eyes wander off to the wall. She appears to be absorbing what I said and gathering her thoughts. Finally, she says, “Tucker, I must apologize to you for what I said that day. I thought I was doing the best thing for Brenna. I remember the way you used to look at her, and since you were older, I thought I needed to protect her. She needed time to grow up. What I didn’
t realize was how bad it would affect her.”
Tears well up in Brenna’s eyes. I release her hand and put my arm around her shoulders, letting her know it will be okay. It doesn’t matter what happened back then; we’re together now, and nothing’s going to change that. I kiss the top of her head, and from the corner of my eye I see Ms. James smiling at us.
Ms. James says, “I can see you still look at her the same way. I’m sorry I took all those years away from you.” She gets out of her chair and sits beside Brenna. “I thought I was protecting you. But now I know I should’ve talked to you, and not assumed Tucker was gonna be a bad influence just because he was a little older. I was afraid he’d push you into something you weren’t ready for.”
Brenna says, “Tucker never would’ve pushed me, Mom, but I understand why you were scared. I just wish I’d known why he disappeared all of a sudden. That’s what hurt me the most. You held me as I cried over him, and you never said a word.”
Ms. James pulls Brenna into a hug and speaks softly. “I was afraid he’d be like your father. That he’d talk you into having sex too young and leave you if you got pregnant. Just like your father did to me.”
I understand her feelings, but after the past few days I’ve spent in joyful anticipation that Brenna could be pregnant, her comment makes me uncomfortable. No way I’d leave Brenna, especially if she is having my baby. Not back then, and certainly not now.
I stand, ready to head to the bathroom to have a moment alone with my thoughts, when someone grabs my hand to stop me.
It’s Ms. James, giving me a heartfelt look. “Tucker, I can see in your eyes and hear in Brenna’s voice every time she talks about you… there’s still so much love between you both. You have my blessing, whether you want it or not. I will never come between you again, as long as you take good care of my daughter.”