by K. C. Lynn
His forehead drops on mine with a groan. “God, I fucking love you. Everything about you.”
His kind words add to the warmth of sensations flowing through me. I reach up and frame his face between my hands, keeping him close. “I love you, too. You’re perfect—perfect for me.”
He begins thrusting in and out of me with slow precision, his deep blue eyes penetrating me in the darkness. “I missed you so fucking much. I thought about you every goddamn second I was in that hellhole. Only you, Anna. It was the memory of you—of us—that made me survive.”
The truth of his words has my heart seizing in my chest.
“I thought of your pretty brown eyes.” Leaning down, he kisses the corner of one eye. “Your long, soft hair and how it felt between my fingers.” He follows up his comment by sliding his hand through my hair. “Your beautiful smile and the taste of your lips.” His lips feather across mine ever so softly. “The way it felt to be inside of your warm body. I completely lost myself in you every second just to make it through the days.”
I close my eyes, my heart aching to think of how alone he was.
“I would have come for you eventually.” My eyes snap back open to see the truth of his words blazing in his gaze. “After this was over I would have come. I would’ve taken back what was mine, the one and only thing that has ever truly belonged to me.” His admission brings on a fresh round of tears. “Shh, don’t cry, baby. Everything is good now. We have each other and that’s all that matters. Nothing or no one will ever fucking keep me from you again.”
“Never,” I choke out, meaning it. I will not let anything ever take him from me again.
“Mine,” he whispers with a delicious thrust.
“Yours.”
Grabbing my hand, he kisses the inside of my wrist before lifting it above my head and linking our fingers together. “Forever.”
“Forever,” I agree.
His rhythm increases, continuing to glide in and out at a leisurely pace. I lift up and match him stroke for every beautiful stroke, getting lost in the perfection we always make together.
A gasp escapes me as he changes his angle and begins hitting that spot deep inside of me. “Oh god, I’m going to come but I don’t want to yet,” I admit on a moan as I feel my impending orgasm approach.
“Give into it, baby. We have all fucking night. Let me have your pleasure, Anna.”
With a few more deep thrusts, I let myself go and fall into sweet oblivion. Logan trails kisses along my cheek and whispers beautiful words to me through every wave of heat that slams into me.
Once I float back down to reality, I frame his face and bring his mouth to mine. “Your turn,” I whisper, before taking his lip between my teeth and nipping it sharply.
“Fuck!” He buries his face into my neck and groans. I hold him through it like he did me. I kiss his shoulder and any part of his fevered skin I can reach.
Moments later we lay in the dark, unmoving, our erratic hearts beating as one. Logan presses his lips to the side of my throat. “Forgive me.”
I lift his face back to mine. “You’re forgiven, I already told you that. I know you would never hurt me, Logan. So let’s just forget about it, okay?” I don’t want that moment to continue to haunt him, he has enough demons to overcome, and that one is not necessary.
Instead of answering, he brushes his lips across mine. “Shower with me.”
I quirk a brow at him. “Are you asking me or telling me?”
He gives me a sexy smirk, which is exactly what I was hoping for. “Which one will make you say yes?”
“Hmmm, I’d say asking, but I kind of like it when you’re bossy.”
“Well then, in that case.”
I squeal as he scoops me up in his arms. My hand snags the sheet to try and cover myself but he rips it from me then walks to the bathroom. I cling to him to keep warm but soon he has us beneath the hot spray. A smile transforms my face as he takes to washing me, reminding me of that night all those years ago. The night he finished erasing the ugly memories from my soul.
After our shower I walk back into the room and grab one of his shirts to sleep in then crawl back into bed. He pulls me in close as I lay my head on his chest, right over the steady thrum of his heartbeat, our legs tangled with one another. His hand slips under my shirt and he drags his fingers along my back while mine trace the contours of his abs.
Complete and utter contentment fills me like always when I’m in his arms. I feel my eyes grow heavy but they flutter back open when he starts talking. “So there’s this guy, Lewis. I’m sure you’ve heard his name mentioned over the last few weeks?” he whispers, voicing it as more of a question.
“Yeah, but I’m not quite sure who he is.”
“He was my cellmate for about two years, was one of the few people I could stand. He was in there for armed robbery and grand theft auto. He told me the whole story about him being a stupid kid that made a dumb mistake and hooked up with the wrong crowd. We talked a lot about what we would do when we got out. He told me he was going to get it right, take his second chance, and he ended up involved with this shit.” The disappointment and frustration in his voice is apparent. “I asked him why he did it and he said because it was the only way he could make decent money to survive.” He shrugs. “I can understand that. It’s not easy for him to get a decent job that will make good money.” He pauses and I wait patiently for him to continue, knowing he has to be going somewhere with this. “It makes me feel like shit, to know he will end up back there because of me.”
I turn to my stomach and make a fist on his chest to prop my chin on so I can look up at him. “I understand why you feel that way, but you can’t control other people’s actions either. He made a choice.”
“I know,” he agrees quietly, but I can hear the guilt in his voice.
“Have you thought about talking with him? Maybe convince him to go the right direction before this all goes down.”
He nods. “I asked him if he would come with me if I went EFC. I thought maybe I could talk with the agents and see if he could get off with probation or something. I don’t know if they will go for it, but worth a try.”
I’m trying to follow what he’s saying but he lost me at EFC, my heart in my throat at the thought. “You want to join the EFC after this is done?” I whisper, praying that’s not the case.
“Yeah, I was thinking about it.” He looks down at me when I remain silent. “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t want you to fight,” I tell him. “The thought makes me sick. I hate that you do it now, but I know you have to.” I sit up and look down at him. “What’s something you have always wanted to do? For a career, I mean. And I’m not talking about how you worked at the garage before. I mean, if you could choose anything in the world to do as a job for the rest of your life, what would it be?”
“I don’t know.”
“There has to be something you’ve thought about doing. Something you’ve always wanted to be? Maybe even from when you were a child?”
I can tell there’s something. I can see it in his eyes. He shifts uncomfortably and shrugs. “What does it matter? I can’t ever do it.”
“Says who?”
He grunts. “Says the law. What police force is going to hire an ex-convict?”
I tense in surprise. “You wanted to be a cop?”
“Yep. Of course, due to my responsibilities with my mom and sister, I never planned to, and I liked working at the garage, I made decent money. But like I said, no respectable workplace is going to hire me. At least with the EFC I can make a lot of money and it’s something I’m good at.”
“I disagree,” I say, before I can think better of it.
He quirks a brow at me. “You don’t think I’m a good fighter?” His tone is amused.
“Of course you are, you’re good at everything you do,” I say, but the truth only earns me an eye roll. I push on. “What I disagree with is you settling. Just like you told Lewis, this is your sec
ond chance. Use it and do whatever it is you want. Strive to make your dreams come true, because you deserve it. You’re too good to settle.”
He watches me and I can tell he doesn’t feel the same way, like there’s no hope. I’m thinking I may have just overstepped but then he sits up swiftly and catches me off guard by throwing me down and coming over top of me. I laugh but it’s cut off by his mouth. I wrap my arms around him and get lost in the passion we always create. I swear I will never tire of kissing him.
He pulls back a long moment later and stares down at me. “There’s no such thing as settling if I have you. Everything else in the world doesn’t matter if I have you, Anna.”
The biggest, silliest smile takes over my face. “You have a way with words sometimes, Logan Knight.”
His mouth takes mine again in a searing kiss. “Forever,” he whispers.
“Forever.”
The subject is forgotten as we lose ourselves in one another once more. But in the back of my mind I vow to do everything I can to make sure he gets the second chance he deserves.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Anna
I’m sitting in the kitchen, located in the back of the gym, with Bandit by my side while the guys finish up training for the day. I’ve been trying to focus on the textbook in front of me, needing to study, but can’t, my mind is elsewhere.
After what happened with Logan I haven’t been able to stop thinking about the men in my life. So many of them, in one way or another, have suffered from PTSD. Between Sarge, Jaxson, Sawyer and Cade, I feel like there needs to be more support out there, especially for those who fight for our country. An idea took root inside of me the other day, one that I feel all the way to the depths of my soul; like it’s something I’m meant to do, especially with my career path.
“Hey, Anna girl, look what I got for us,” Sarge boasts, walking into the kitchen with two large boxes of pizza that smell divine.
“All of that is for the two of us?”
“If we hurry up it will be.”
With a chuckle, I move my book out of the way as he puts the pizza boxes on the table in front of me. At that moment Sawyer walks in, throwing a shirt over his head, looking freshly showered. “I don’t think so, old man, but if the three of us hurry it will be,” he says, clearly hearing Sarge’s plan.
I shake my head as they hurriedly open the boxes and start devouring the pizza. Just as I reach over to grab a slice, Cade, Logan and Jaxson walk in.
“Nice of you all to wait,” Jaxson grumbles. He squeezes my shoulder as he passes then he and Cade take the seats across from me, next to Sawyer and Sarge.
“You snooze, you lose,” Sawyer says with a shrug.
Jaxson grunts. “Right, and I’ll just bet you used my fucking card to pay for it.”
“I did not, I used his,” he replies, pointing to Cade. Cade’s head snaps up and he gives him a hard glare, which would intimidate most people but it only makes Sawyer laugh. “I’m fucking with you, I paid for them. You’re welcome, you can all pay me back by taking my kids overnight so I can have my woman all to myself.”
All of them grunt in response.
I’m just about to tell him I’d love to take the twins anytime when Logan comes up behind me. Leaning in, he kisses the side of my neck, causing goose bumps to break out over my skin. “Stand up, baby.”
As I stand he moves behind me into the chair and brings me down on his lap, his fingers trailing lazy circles on my bare thigh. A soft smile graces my face as I reach over to pick up my slice of pizza.
As conversation resumes, I look around at all the amazing men and a contentment settles over me. When there’s a break in their conversation I decide now is a good time to mention my idea to them.
“So I want to talk to you guys about something,” I start nervously.
Logan’s hand falters on my leg while all of the others sit back in their chairs and give me their full attention.
“What’s on your mind, kid?” Jaxson asks.
I clear my throat and shift uncomfortably. I shouldn’t be so apprehensive, this is a good thing, but I’m nervous because their approval means everything to me. I want them behind me on this.
Logan senses my apprehension and presses a kiss to my shoulder, his hand starting its lazy circles again on my leg. It gives me the courage I need. “I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what route I want to take after I’m done with school. I have an idea, something that’s very close to my heart, and well…I’m hoping you all could give me your honest opinion.”
“If it’s your idea I’m sure it’s brilliant. What are you thinking?” Sawyer asks.
I can’t help but smile, his comment calming my nerves even more. “Once I’m done my practicum I want to open up a rehabilitation center for people suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. And I want there to be financial aid for anyone who needs it, especially for our vets.” I glance over at Sarge, whose usual sunny expression is now soft and dim. “After doing a little bit of research I found that there isn’t anything similar around here, especially not anything with the potential for financial aid. I’m thinking of offering group therapy, support in transitioning back to civilian life and possibly even helping them search for jobs. Sometimes what comes next can be the hardest part,” I add quietly, remembering what Sarge had shared with me before.
Everyone is silent and I have a hard time gauging their expressions. “So what do you think?”
“That’s a big idea and one that will cost a lot of money,” Jaxson says.
I nod. “I know, but it’s the perfect thing to put my trust fund toward. I also thought about putting together a team to host charity events to raise money, and I’m hoping to get some financial backing, too. I’m sure my dad would contribute, well, when I start speaking to him again,” I add, still hating that we aren’t talking. “And my friend Charity, her dad is the mayor, I could get her to talk to him. How great would it be to have the city backing it?”
Cade quirks a brow. “Looks like you’ve thought a lot about this.”
“I have. It’s…It’s something I feel strongly about. Like it’s my calling or something.” I feel my face heat at how silly that probably sounds.
Logan’s arms tighten around my waist. “I think it’s very you, baby, and something you would be amazing at.” His sweet words ease my embarrassment.
“It’s a great idea,” Sawyer says, speaking up. “I’ll help back it.”
I tense in surprise. “Oh no, that’s not why I wanted to talk to you guys about it. I just wanted…” I trail off when he holds his hand up.
“I know but I agree, there needs to be more places like that. Especially after all the cutbacks the government has been dishing out. It’s a good idea. I know my dad would back it, too.”
Heat warms my chest as their approval invades my heart, my mouth stretching into a big smile.
“Count me in, too,” Cade says.
“And me, but on this guy’s dime,” Sarge says, jerking a thumb at Sawyer.
I laugh as tears sting my eyes, my heart overflowing with gratitude at their offer of support. I look over at Jaxson, waiting for his approval, desperately needing it.
A small smirk tilts his lips before he gives me what I want. “You know I have your back.”
A squeal of joy escapes me just before I stand up and rush over to them. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.” I start hugging and kissing them all.
Sarge takes hold of me in a strong hug and whispers in my ear, “You’re a good cookie, Anna. I wish I could help you out, if I had the money I would.”
His confession has my throat growing tight. “There are a lot of ways you can help that doesn’t involve money.”
“Then count me in.”
Backing up, I smile then look over to Jaxson before hurtling myself at him. He catches me with a laugh and hugs me close. “It’s a really good idea, kid, and I agree with Logan, you’re just the girl for the job.”
His comment prompts t
ears to stream down my face. “Thank you. Thank you all for always having my back.”
They smile back at me with pride and adoration, something I’ll always need from them. They’re like my second family, and I don’t know what I would do without their support.
“Always. Now let’s finish this pizza and talk more game plan,” Sawyer suggests.
I nod then take my seat back on Logan’s lap. As we finish the pizza we go over all of my ideas. The guys give me a lot of great suggestions that have me even more excited.
“Speaking of game plans, let’s talk about the gym here for a minute and the training,” Jaxson says. “It’s getting more and more demanding. I was thinking about asking Slade if he would come in a few days a week to help when he can. But after what he thinks he saw the other night,” he gestures to Logan, “I’m not sure what to think about him any more.”
Cade cuts in. “I asked Faith about him the other day when you told me about it. She said he has a fucked up past. He got into some shit before he moved out here with Katelyn but she says he’s changed. She refuses to believe he’s a part of anything illegal. She said he’s a good guy but sticks to himself and likes his privacy.”
“And what do you think?” Jaxson asks. “You’ve been around him more than us.”
“I don’t know what to think. We both aren’t the most talkative guys so even when I have seen him we didn’t spend time getting to know each other. He seems all right to me, and usually I’m a good judge of character, but who knows. I want to trust Red’s judgment, but she and Katelyn both love the guy and they see the good in everyone so…” He trails off with a shrug.
“I could have sworn it was him there, but who the hell knows? Maybe I am wrong?” Logan says, his voice holding uncertainty.
“Or maybe he’s just betting on the fights?” Sawyer suggests. “I know it’s illegal but it’s not like the guy is killing anyone.”
Cade shakes his head. “I don’t know. That doesn’t seem right either. Like Jaxson said before, he’s at the top of the industry and making a killing, he shouldn’t need the money.”