by C. A. Harms
***
Four hours and a few drinks later, we walked into Lucky’s. The band was playing, and the place had to be almost at full capacity. Working our way through the crowd, we went straight for the bar. I stopped abruptly, and Maria ran into my back. “What the hell, I think my titties are now inverted.”
Her wisecrack didn’t even register as funny. My eyes were focused on what was happening in front of me.
Reed stood just at the end of the bar, shirtless. That alone would have been just fine, he is pretty damn sexy. It was the three girls who were currently hanging on him while the fourth took a picture that made my stomach turn. The girls were all young, pretty, and very flirtatious. The smaller of the three wore a sash that said ‘21st Birthday’ across the front. They were here celebrating, and Reed was the eye candy.
“What is wrong with you? Why did ya stop?” Maria bumped her hip against mine as she stepped up beside me. I continued to stare ahead, watching Little Miss Eager run her hand over Reed’s abs. My stomach hurt, and my eyes burned.
“I think I wanna go home. Is that okay with you?” I finally looked away because I couldn’t take any more of it.
Maria only nodded as she led me back out to her car. Once we got back to my place, both of us got some comfortable clothes on and camped out on the couch with a bottle of wine. Neither of us spoke about what happened at Lucky’s until that point. She was the first to say anything.
“It appeared innocent. Just some young girls celebrating, and he’s a good looking guy. I’m sure he was just humoring them.” She turned her body to face me and pulled her legs up to tuck them under her. “Maybe you should have talked to him.”
I shook my head and twisted my wine glass around in my hand over and over. “It isn’t like I’m giving him what he needs. He’s a guy, they need more than just occasionally making out like teenagers.”
“Hey, he understands. Don’t do that to yourself.”
After a long silence, I looked up. She looked concerned. I shrugged it off and sat up straighter.
“I need to do something, will you help me?” I asked.
“Sure.” Maria laughed lightly at my abrupt change in conversation. She leaned forward and placed her wine glass on the coffee table. “What are we doing?”
I took a deep breath and squared my shoulders. “I wanna go through Blake’s things. The stuff I gathered from our apartment but never had the heart to look through. All those things his father brought. I wanna surround myself with Blake for just a couple hours. I need it, I have to feel him again. It’s time to go through it all.”
For the next hour I laughed and cried more tears than I had in months. I found more pictures of Blake and me, some I had no idea even existed.
Maria sat next to me while I looked through all the memories of my year with Blake. She got to know the sweet man I had fallen in love with and the father of my child. She could now see the appeal and know why I loved him so completely. We may not have had years upon years together, but I could promise the time I did have with him would forever be imbedded within my soul. A love like that didn’t leave easily; it surrounded me.
“What’s this?” I turned to find Maria holding up a notebook in one hand and a folded piece of paper in the other. I quickly dropped the things in my own hand and grabbed for hers.
An overwhelming ache spread throughout my chest as I looked over the reservation in my hands. It was for the day of the accident.
It was a weekend getaway in Cape Cod. There was also a small brochure showing the views and rooms. On the corner of the reservation paper, the words written there broke my heart.
To do list:
-Pick up the flowers from florist and have them spread petals on bed.
-Preorder dinner and have delivered to room at 8
-Pick up the ring from the jewelers
My eyes were so full of tears I could no longer see the paper. The ring. Those two words took everything that had healed within me and shattered it once again. We had talked about getting married. I knew it would happen eventually, maybe after I graduated and we settled down. The fact that he had planned to propose the weekend I lost him was too hard to swallow.
I forced myself to look through the notebook that the reservation and brochure were tucked inside. Blake had random thoughts and ideas for our future written inside.
He was always such a planner, and looking over his excessive lists always made me laugh. Now they just made me cry harder.
-Buy Kori her dream house.
-Fill our home with the laughter of our beautiful children.
-Never let a day go by without telling my wife and children how much I love them.
As if he had to write that down in order to complete those tasks. It just made him feel better seeing his dreams on paper. It was who he was, the man I loved.
Chapter Twenty
"Do you love him?" His voice was filled with emotion.
I nodded my head gently as the tears trailed down my cheeks, “Yes.” I whispered, “I’m so sorry.”
The silence was overwhelming. My chest tightened with the thought of hurting Blake.
“Don’t apologize for falling in love, baby. I know how it feels to have your love, and he’s one lucky guy. It’s okay to love again, sweet girl, it doesn’t mean you love me any less. I know you’ll always love me.”
“Yes, Blake, I’ll always love you. I could never stop.”
I felt the soft trace of his fingertips across my cheek, and I closed my eyes, taking in the pleasure of his touch. I sighed and reached up to feel his hand, but it wasn’t there. I began spinning around looking for Blake, but he was gone.
Reality hit heavily when I realized it was just a dream. It felt so real, like he was right there with me, reassuring me. It was as if he were giving the go ahead to move on and love Reed the way he deserved to be loved.
I had stayed up half the night looking through all of Blake’s things. I went to bed with thoughts of him, and I know that is what fueled my dreams.
I stood, dragging my exhausted body toward the shower. I had to wake up before I went to pick up Rhett. Looking in the bathroom mirror, I groaned. I looked like complete ass.
The hot water running over me gave my body a little motivation to get a move on. I had a missed call and text when I got out of the shower.
They were both from Reed.
Missed you last night. R
Instead of calling him back I replied to the text.
You looked like you were entertained and the furthest thing from lonely. K
I threw the phone in my bag and grabbed my purse from the counter. I could hear it chiming as I walked out the door.
Driving down the main road, the sleet began to fall. The fields were covered with a light dusting of snow. This year the thought of Rhett being old enough to enjoy playing in it made me smile. The oncoming big black truck heading toward my house did not. Reed passed me going in the opposite direction and quickly stepped on his brakes to spin around and follow me.
I let him follow for a few more miles before I pulled over on one of the little side roads and waited for him to get out of his truck.
When my passenger door came open and he crawled inside, his manly scent filled my car. He always smelled unbelievably yummy. I took a chance and looked in his direction, only to find him holding up his phone is question.
“What does your text mean? Were you there?” he asked.
“Not that you had any time to notice, but yes, I was, long enough to witness your fan club and your little photo shoot. After that, I no longer felt the need to stay.” I couldn’t look at him. Instead I looked down at the radio and waited for this to pass.
“What fan club?”
“The group of girls that you were posing with, shirtless.” This was just crazy. I was acting like a god damned teenager, and it was too much. I lifted my head, and my gaze locked onto his big, chocolate brown eyes. He watched me without speaking a word. “Reed, I know you own a bar. I al
so know that certain things go along with that. I just don’t know if I can stomach what I saw last night. I know you aren’t the same person you once were, but it doesn’t make it any easier to deal with.”
I shrugged and looked back down at my lap, debating if I should say more. Before I could speak another word, he reached out and took my hand in his.
“I’m sorry. I posed with them because they were out celebrating the twenty-first birthday of one of the girls. I never thought about what it may look like to you. It was completely innocent.” Tilting my chin up with his hand, he continued. “I told them about you. When they asked if I was single, I told them all about you.”
I chose to remain quiet. I still wasn’t sure how to handle how last night made me feel. I didn’t want to say the wrong thing, so silence was my best option.
“Baby, I have waited for a second chance with you. I won’t lie and say I didn’t try to get over you, but it was impossible. There is only one Kori, one girl who stole my heart. Do you actually think I am gonna take a chance of losing you again?”
“Turn the tables, Reed, just for a minute. If you saw me flirting and flaunting myself, how well would that go over? You got jealous of me talking with Gavin, you were half naked with three girls. The whole thing made me sick.”
“Damn, Kori, I’m sorry. It was a stupid ass move, but you gotta know it went no further. I wouldn’t do that,” he pleaded, and it came out rushed.
“I know, I just can’t be with you if things are gonna be that way. I understand the flirting for business, it’s the touching and rubbing up against you that I can’t accept. I’m not built that way, I can’t stomach it.”
He leaned over the center console and grabbed the back of my neck, pulling me closer. Resting his forehead against mine, he skimmed the side of my nose with his. “You don’t have to accept it, it stops now. No more, that’s a promise. I’m sorry.” His lips took mine in a desperate kiss, and instead of pulling away, I relaxed into him.
It was time that Reed knew what I wanted, and I had to let down my walls. When his lips separated from mine, his forehead once against pressed against me.
“I know I haven’t made things easy for you. I know that you feel like I keep you at a distance, and you’re right, I have. I don’t want to anymore. I want to do this with you, I want to go all in. I’m ready to move forward, with you.” He leaned back, looking at me intensely. “I just need to make sure you want the same thing.”
“You’re joking right? You know I want you and Rhett. I’ve wanted you my whole life, and Rhett is the best kind of bonus. I want in, baby, completely in with no hesitation.” He kissed me hard. We sat on the side of the road, making the decision to move forward, together. That thought was both exciting and terrifying at the same time.
Pushing past my reservations, I gave myself over to the man who had helped me through one of the hardest times in my life. Reed loved me and my son, he didn’t have to, but he did.
Chapter Twenty-One
“I’ll be there to get you in about twenty minutes,” Reed said.
“I can just meet you there. It would be easier. My house is in the opposite direction, completely out of your way.” He was just being crazy and protective. It felt good to have him going all caveman on me, I just couldn’t let him know that.
“Will you just stop arguing with me and stay put? The roads are getting slick, and I would feel better if you and Rhett were with me. Do you always have to be so damn stubborn?” I covered my mouth to laugh, because he was getting all flustered, and it was so cute.
“Are you laughing at me?”
“No,” I snickered, and once again covered my mouth.
“Whatever, smartass, just stay put. I’m on the way, be ready.” He hung up, and I only laughed more.
I gathered Rhett and my things and waited by the door. When I saw his truck coming up the driveway, I made my way outside.
We were celebrating Christmas at my parents’, followed by a late dinner with Reed’s dad. Our day was planned, and now I also had a chauffeur.
Reed grabbed Rhett from me, along with the bag. “Merry Christmas, baby,” he whispered just before kissing me sweetly.
Turning out on to the main road, I noticed just how much snow had fallen. “I guess the snow has gotten pretty heavy.” Something was strange about the weather this year. Granted, a little snow to us was a lot, something we sure weren’t used to. This year, though, we’d had record snowfall, and the town didn’t know how to handle it. People weren’t used to driving in these types of conditions.
He looked over at me with a smile that clearly said he had already tried to tell me that. I could only smile, and in turn he winked. “I know it’s not that common, but the ice, that’s what makes it worse.”
Momma and Daddy had invited Gavin, since he was new in town. He really had no place to go, and Momma wasn’t having that. At first, Reed was quiet and stuck to my side like a second skin. After a couple hours he warmed up to Gavin, realizing that he and I had no interest in one another. Sure, the man was pretty to look at, but he wasn’t the man who warmed my heart.
Dinner with Reed’s dad was a little different than I had been used to. Not bad different, just interesting different.
What I found amazing was the fact that he went shopping for Rhett. The moment he brought out a pile of gifts and sat them on the floor in front of Rhett, even Reed looked shocked.
“What the hell is wrong with you two? You don’t think an old man knows how to shop for a toddler? I bet my old ass bought him better gifts than you did. What’d you get him, clothes?” I laughed when Reed’s face fell a little. I couldn’t hold back my laughter.
His dad snickered and shook his head. “Go ahead, boy, dig in and tear it up.” He leaned forward and tore at the paper, helping Rhett get started.
My eyes filled with tears while I watched him open toy after toy. With each one he became more and more excited. I excused myself to pull it together.
A light tap on the door came first, before Reed pushed it open. “You okay?” I only nodded as I blew my nose. “Why the tears then?”
“Just means a lot to me that your dad has accepted Rhett. I can’t believe he went to all that trouble.” I sniffled.
“When are you gonna accept that we care about you two? It isn’t any trouble, babe, it’s what family does.” Reed closed the distance between us and caged me in against the counter. When my eyes met his, he smiled. “I love you, Kori, and I love Rhett. My dad loves both of you too. Understand that, please…I want you both for the long haul.”
I dove for him, taking his lips in a fierce kiss. “I love you too, so much,” I whispered before kissing him once more. Things got a little heated there in his dad’s bathroom, and it needed to come to a halt.
“Spend the night with me,” Reed asked. His forehead rested against mine, his eyes closed tightly. He looked like he was doing everything he could to calm himself down.
“Okay, but I’ll need to borrow a shirt to sleep in.” He grinned, and I already knew what he was thinking. “Or I could just sleep naked.” He chuckled and pulled me in tightly against his chest.
We had yet to take that step in our relationship, but I had a feeling tonight that would change. I wasn’t sure I could wait that long to get my hands on him. I was a little worked up from our make-out session.
“Naked would be the best Christmas present. Having you in my bed, under me, I think I could get used to that.” He kissed me once more before pulling me back toward the living room.
***
Just the small walk from Reed’s father’s house was too much for Rhett, he was out like a light. Reed carried him inside and took him to the spare bedroom next to his own. I was surprised to see the side rails hooked on the sides of the bed. He must have just gotten them, he had no other reason to have them. It only made my decision to go forward with tonight seem even more like the right one. It was our time, no more holding back.
I stood back near the doorway as
he tucked Rhett in the bed securely. Reed leaned over and placed a soft kiss against his forehead, and my heart became just a little more his. It was then that I realized how lucky I was. How lucky we were, to have Reed in our lives. I heard him whisper against Rhett’s forehead that he loved him and tears pooled in my eyes.
Reed met me in the doorway and pulled me against his chest. “What’s wrong, sweet girl, why you crying?” He soothingly rubbed my back while continuing to hold me close.
“They’re happy tears, I promise.” I buried my face in his chest and breathed in his intoxicating scent. Backing out of the bedroom, he pulled the door closed, leaving it cracked slightly.
He continued to back me up until I felt the wall hit my back. Our eyes met, and his were filled with such love and adoration.
Raising up on my tiptoes, I pulled him toward me, our lips meshed in a slow dance of desire. He began making love to my mouth, and my legs began feeling less steady. I could feel his hardness against my stomach as he pressed his body to mine.
“Let’s go to bed,” I whispered.
He didn’t answer, only lifted me up, and I wrapped my legs around his waist. Carrying me down the hall and into his room, he lowered me to the bed. His body covered mine almost immediately, our mouths continuing to devour one another.
“I love you, Kori, I never stopped.” I felt his breath dance over my neck as he spoke. I arched back, opening up more for his torturous game. His tongue rolled over my neck, down over my collarbone. This was happening, it was time to move forward with Reed. It was time I let go and loved Reed the way I needed to be loved.
Reaching for the hem of his shirt, I began raising it up and over his head. He really was a beautiful man, and I couldn’t stop myself from running my hands over his broad chest and abs. He closed his eyes tightly and took in the feel of my hands, touching him.