by Zoe Chant
“God, was that the other option? Handwarmers, please.” Meaghan laughed as Parkour scooched past Loony to wriggle onto her lap. She gave up on kneeling and sat down, letting the dogs climb over her like wriggly, wet-nosed blankets.
Like when they’d all cuddled up with Caine in the back of her truck.
Meaghan’s stomach lurched. Can’t be unhappy around sled dogs, huh? When will you learn how wrong you are about everything?
She hugged Parkour tighter, trying desperately to ignore the ache in her chest.
“For the record, someone moving into your house without even asking if you’re okay with them staying isn’t the sort of thing a friend does. It’s the sort of thing a weird, pushy person with no boundaries does.”
“Hmm. Sounds like you all right.” Olly lay back. She didn’t look happy, not exactly, but the tense wariness was easing from her face.
“Just don’t let anyone else do it.”
Olly peered at her over the sea of dogs. “I’m not a total pushover, Meaghan. I wouldn’t have let you take over my living room if I didn’t want you there.”
“Oh.” Meaghan had never even considered that. She always pushed herself in, and eventually people got annoyed enough that they pushed her out again.
They never actually wanted her to be there.
“Why are you saying all this, anyway?” Olly asked, her eyes narrowing. “This sounds suspiciously like the advice my parents loaded me down with before they packed me off up here.”
Meaghan rested her chin on Parkour’s head. She didn’t look at Olly, but she didn’t need to; she could practically feel the younger woman’s eyes boring into her.
“Caine thinks he’s a monster.”
She realized, too late, that she wasn’t just staring into space; she was looking out towards the valley she’d already started thinking of as Caine’s valley. She blinked and focused on Parkour’s ears.
“But we both know that’s not true, right?”
Meaghan blinked. “What?”
“You said he’s a hellhound shifter, and so are the guys who stole the dogs yesterday. They were monsters. When they looked at me it was like they could see straight into my worst memories. All the things I felt guilty about. Like not telling Jackson how I felt.” Olly grimaced. “And we both know how well that went. But Caine’s different.”
“How can you tell?”
“Because of how he was looking at you. I couldn’t tell what sort of shifter he was yesterday, but I knew he had to be something. There was just a hint of something different about him. Plus he had that dopey, smitten look. Like he’d do anything you asked.”
Meaghan laughed despite herself. “When I first saw him, I told him not to run away, and it was like his feet were glued to the ground.”
“There! See?”
Just for a moment, hope flared in Meaghan’s heart. Then she shook herself. “But it doesn’t matter, does it? Either he manages to get rid of his hellhound and he has no reason to want anything to do with me anymore, or he doesn’t, and I’m just an add-on to something he hates.”
Olly reached out and nudged Meaghan’s leg with her foot. “Come on. There’s a third option. Out with it.”
Meaghan stared at her and she rolled her eyes.
“You must be thinking it! Come on. You say he thinks he’s a monster. But what do you think? You must have seen his hellhound, if it decided you’re his mate.”
“I…” Burning eyes. Bright, heart-leaping joy. “I think so.”
“And was it a monster? Did it make you feel like your brain was being melted away with acid until the only thing left was all the things you hated about yourself?”
“No!” I don’t need a hellhound shifter for that.
“Well, then, what are you waiting for?” Olly laughed. “I don’t know why I’m asking. You’re you. Of course you’re going to go and get him.”
Go and get him?
“Olly, I—”
Meaghan buried her face in Parkour’s fur to stop herself talking. Her head was reeling.
Olly had so much trust in her. She acted like there was no question that Meaghan would storm back up the mountain and demand Caine take her back.
Because that was the Meaghan she knew. Headstrong. Take-no-shit-from-anybody. Pushing herself in where she wasn’t wanted. Running at life like it was a road full of potholes, thinking that at least if she went down hard she’d bounce out again.
It had gotten her this far in life. But it always came crashing down in the end. And it was too late to wish that when everything did come crashing down at last, it would hurt less.
Wasn’t she ever going to learn?
Face still buried in Parkour’s warm fur, Meaghan rubbed her chest. The wrenching pain that had struck before had faded, but a ghost of it was still there, like a pulled muscle that still hurt.
She’d never thought having a broken heart would be so literal. But…
Olly couldn’t be right, could she?
She thought back to that first moment she’d set eyes on Caine. To the smoky fire in his eyes that she’d told herself she was imagining. And the sheer joy that had poured out of them.
If that was his hellhound, his so-called “monster”, then maybe he was wrong about it. Maybe it wasn’t a monster at all, just something new and strange that he didn’t entirely understand.
Hope sparked in Meaghan’s chest, a brief, fluttering burst of light in the exact place that had hurt only a few moments ago.
And if Caine’s hellhound wasn’t a monster then maybe he—
Meaghan shook her head. Stop fooling yourself. Olly hasn’t even seen Caine’s hellhound. Jasper and the other Heartwells have, and you saw how they reacted.
Whatever they saw in him, it scared them. And if it didn’t scare you…
Her neck and shoulder muscles clenched. Pain shot down from the knot in her neck, straight to her chest, and the tiny golden spark of hope vanished.
When will you learn how wrong you are about everything?
If it didn’t scare you, then there must be something wrong with you.
19
Caine
DECEMBER 23
(CHRISTMAS EVE EVE)
Meaghan’s skin was soft under Caine’s hands. He ran the backs of his fingers along her waist, and her delighted shiver of laughter filled him with a joy deeper than anything he’d ever felt. He leaned over her, lowered his face towards hers, and frowned.
“Why are we back in the city?” He looked around. They weren’t lying on his bed; they were on pavement. Asphalt grated against Caine’s knees. Graffiti covered the alley walls.
I know this place.
He looked down. Meaghan was gone. He was alone. Not even his hellhound was with him.
Ice ran down his spine.
Not this nightmare again.
He tried to stand up, but his legs wouldn’t obey. His lungs cramped.
This is just a dream. I can make it stop. Just wake up, wake up, WAKE UP—
Silence poured from the end of the alleyway. Fiery eyes burned, turning even the puddles of light from the streetlights into pitchy shadows.
It’s a dream. I can control this. I’m not in the alleyway. I’m asleep in my bed. In my home.
He turned a corner and stopped. The alleyway was gone. Early morning sun filtered through narrow blinds, catching motes of dust in the air. He was in his old office, where he’d worked so many long hours.
Caine sat down at his desk.
What was I working on?
A property scam. That was it. Something Angus had asked him to look into. Let’s see if you can crack this, he’d said.
All the information was here. Everything they needed to take the scam down. Caine opened the manila file, sorting through newspaper articles and his own notes and photos.
Well, he’d cracked it. Last night. The last missing link had slotted into place and he’d been on his way home, before…
Dread pooled in his gut. Caine looked down. Blood
was pouring from his leg, spilling over the chair, onto the dusty office floor.
“Caine? What the shit are you doing here?”
Caine looked up. Angus was standing in the door, his face slack with shock.
The room spun around Caine. It was all coming back to him. The terrifying, demonic creatures. The chase. The bite on his leg…
He stood up slowly.
And something woke up inside him.
“No!”
Caine woke up gasping. He sat up on the edge of the bed, head in his hands, stomach churning.
The nightmare had never gone on that long before. It had always stopped in the alley.
He stumbled to the bathroom and splashed his face with cold water. The face that stared back at him from the mirror was wan and drawn.
Caine’s hellhound whined, and he flinched.
It must be a warning from my subconscious, he decided. He started drying his face and had to stop and brace himself against the vanity as a wave of faintness rolled over him. A reminder not to forget what my hellhound is capable of.
He didn’t remember much of what had happened after his hellhound woke up that first time. Just flashes.
He’d transformed. It had hurt. And the shock in Angus’ eyes had turned to fear, and he’d chased his oldest friend like a demon out of hell, until…
Caine shook his head. His memories were all muddled up. The hellhounds chasing him. Him chasing Angus. Fighting the hellhounds again, being chased again, chasing him again… The flashes of memory ran together and over each other in his head until he wasn’t sure he could trust his own mind.
Whatever had happened that morning, Angus had made it out alive. That was the important thing.
And now Caine knew what he had to do. Opal hadn’t wanted to tell him, but apparently there were stories of shifters who’d starved their animals out. Kept them locked inside, not letting them take form… and eventually the creatures just faded away.
It’s been a year since I transformed into the monster. It’s fought me since then, seen out of my eyes—but never taken form.
I just need to keep it that way, until…
“Guinness? You awake?”
Caine grimaced. The Heartwell men were taking it in shifts to watch over him. Opal’s orders. Whoever was down there now would probably spend the day trying to convince him to keep his hellhound.
The nightmare had reminded him why that was a bad idea.
“Guinness? Caine?”
“I’m up!” he called, and gave the mirror one last glance. There was no smoke or fire in his reflection. Just exhaustion.
Good, he thought, and trudged downstairs.
Hank Heartwell was this morning’s babysitter. He mildly bullied Caine into eating more than just coffee for breakfast, and then broke the news.
“Come on. We’re helping out at the Puppy Express today.”
“No.” Caine set down his fork. “That’s Meaghan’s workplace. I told you, I can’t see her.”
“Then don’t. Bob needs someone to clear a fallen tree from across the Sweethearts Lake track. They’ve got a big corporate booking for Christmas Day. Last-minute thing. And who knows, maybe some of them will be after a bit of a holiday romance.”
Caine looked at his plate without seeing it. “That’s good for the town.” Good for Meaghan.
“Corporate credit cards? Could be, yeah.” Hank stood up, looked at Caine, who wasn’t moving, and sighed. “Meaghan and Olly are in town today, checking the route for the parade. We’re not going to bump into them.”
Caine stood up and grabbed his coat.
The drive to Puppy Express seemed shorter, or maybe it was just that Hank’s SUV had better suspension than Meaghan’s old truck. Bob waved Hank and Caine in with hardly a glance, and Caine started to think that maybe this was a good idea, after all.
Having something to do will be better than sitting around with nothing but my own thoughts all day.
That lasted about an hour, until Hank’s careful lack of mentioning anything to do with shifters, or Meaghan, or the ghost gang started to get on Caine’s nerves.
“So what’s the plan?” he said as Hank pointed out the fallen pine lying across the track ahead. “To stop the ghost gang.”
“Stop them? Not sure how we’re meant to do that.”
“But you have to. They won’t just leave.” Caine panted as he followed Hank to the tree. “Whatever has brought them here, whatever’s behind these attacks, they haven’t got any reason to stop. Even if it’s just pure sadism. Pine Valley is an easy target. Like fish in a barrel.”
“Even more so, if we get a big dump of snow and the roads get cut off.” Hank whistled softly. “But… Stop an enemy we can’t see, or scent, or feel any psychic trace of. That’s a hell of a task, and we’ve failed at it so far.”
“But now you know what you’re hunting.”
“Sure. As soon as you said you thought the gang were hellhounds, the girls started digging into some research. It all matches up. Glowing fiery eyes, impossible for even other shifters to trace. That must be what we’ve been dealing with the last few months.” He sighed. “Or failing to deal with.”
Caine’s spine tingled. His hellhound pricked up its ears. The girls? Does he mean Meaghan? Why would she be looking into hellhounds?
To find a way to protect Pine Valley. That must be it. She’s made it clear she doesn’t want anything to do with you.
But… Frustration crackled under his skin. “You can’t just sit and wait for them to attack again.”
“You want to tell us what else we can do?” Hank knelt by the tree. “You take the other side. We’ll try to pivot it off the track.”
Caine’s mind was whirring. The nightmare had done more than remind him of his hellhound’s nature; it had reminded him of who he used to be. Someone who solved other people’s problems.
What had he told Meaghan? I’m just a man who wants to help out where I can. Maybe it was true after all.
He straightened his shoulders. “This is a small town. Tourist numbers are down. Olly knows what the hellhound shifters look like in human form.”
Hank nodded. “Jackson’s gone door-to-door all the hotels and rentals. No one matches Olly’s descriptions.”
“They have a base out of town, then. If they’re shifters, they’re hardy. They might be in a hunting shack, or even camping.”
“We can’t sense any of them from the air, and that’s a hell of a lot of square footage to cover by foot. Lift!”
Caine channeled his frustration into his muscles. He and Hank hoisted the tree easily between them and moved it off the track.
Hank dusted off his hands. “Bit of strength left in you yet, eh?”
Caine opened his mouth, and closed it. “Unfortunately,” he muttered.
“Look. Knowing who we’re up against is one thing. But we’re no better off than we were before. You’re right. We’re sitting ducks.” Hank blew out his cheeks. “Well. Those of us who can fly away in a crisis are sitting ducks. The rest of the town are, as you said, fish in a barrel.”
Including Meaghan.
“We could use a hellhound on our side.”
“You don’t know what you’re asking.” But if Meaghan’s in danger—
“Hey! Caine!” Jackson’s voice echoed through the woods.
Hank groaned. “Damn it, Jackson, you’re meant to be on lookout today.”
“Looking out for something even you shifters can’t see? Yeah, I’ll get right on it.” He jerked his chin at Caine. “Right after I’ve had a chat with our friend here.”
Hank stared at him, then glanced at Caine and shrugged. “Kids,” he grumbled, even though he had five years at most on Caine. “I’ll start heading back. Let Bob know the track’s clear.”
Caine waited for him to disappear around a turn in the track.
He almost got me. The big dragon shifter was so bluff and hearty, Caine hadn’t expected that sort of trickery. Hank had almost managed to get Ca
ine to talk himself into thinking his hellhound might be useful to keep around.
He turned to face Jackson. The younger man had his hands thrust deep in his jacket pockets. His stance was bullish.
“You here to throw a punch?”
“Against a shifter who can walk through walls?” Jackson threw back. Caine tensed, and Jackson cursed. “You wouldn’t do it, would you? Use your hellhound powers to avoid a punch. You’re that twisted up about it. Shit.”
Jackson stalked down the track another few paces and kicked a snow-covered rock.
“The others think you’ll get over it. That you’re freaking out over being a baby shifter and getting to know your hellhound, and they can jolly you along until you get over yourself and apologize to Meaghan for being an asshole. But you’re not, are you? And now she’s—fuck.”
Caine didn’t answer. Jackson swore and kicked the rock again.
“Do you even know how lucky you are?”
“Lucky? I’ve got a monster inside me!”
“You’ve got a mate!” Jackson roared back. “And you’re going to let her go, you’re going to lose the best thing that can happen to any shifter—any person—just because you don’t like your hellhound?”
Caine clenched his fists, ready to turn this into a real shouting match, when something in Jackson’s expression made him pause.
“You’re right. She is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. That’s why I need to stay away from her.”
“You’re going to lose her.” The steam had gone out of Jackson, as well. “Olly—” He winced. “Olly thinks Meaghan’s going to come roaring up here to tell you to pull your head out of your ass, but she doesn’t know what it’s like. Having that soulmate bond hanging there like a promise, just out of reach, and it being yanked away.” He swallowed hard. “Meaghan deserves better than that.”
Caine’s chest twisted, deep in that spot where his hellhound lay wrapped around a dying candleflame. He rubbed his breastbone, not meeting Jackson’s eyes. “No. She deserves better than being the other half of a monster’s soul.”
“You don’t know what you’re saying.”