by Zoe Chant
“Yeah, but in a sad, dumbass way, not in a scary way. I think being mated to their alpha makes me immune.”
“I wish I was immune.”
Meaghan leaned forward, her face suddenly serious. “They haven’t been bothering you, have they? I told them to be careful around you. I know you say you’re ‘fine’”—she made quote marks with her fingers—“but if you need them to back off…”
“From what? Working with me?” Olly shook her head. “I’m dealing with it.”
“You’re dealing with a lot, is what you’re dealing with.” Meaghan raised her hands. “And with Jackson back in town and that freaking pegasus shifter crashing the party last night, you know, I figure you’re feeling extra… you.”
“Ha ha.”
“Seriously, Olly.”
Olly shook her head. “No, I’m fi—I’m dealing with it,” she amended, as Meaghan raised her fingers in quote-marks again. “Wait. Pegasus?”
“The guy who crashed through the big tent?” Meaghan stared at her. “You missed that? Damn it, I was hoping you’d be able to give me all the gossip. Caine got the pack to bundle me up and take me home as soon as stuff started looking crazy.”
She pulled a face, but Olly knew her well enough to see through it. “So your pack is super overbearing and over-protective, but… you don’t hate it.”
“God no.” Meaghan propped her head on one hand and gazed into the fire. Outside, an engine started and the dogs started to bark with excitement. A strange, wistful expression passed over Meaghan’s face as the noise faded into the distance. “They’re incredibly annoying and ridiculous and I love having them around, even when they’re doing everything they can to piss me off. Because they’re never trying to piss me off, they’re just…” She sighed, her eyebrows drawing together. “I spent so much of my life feeling as though I was on the outside. Like even looking in was too much to ask for. And now I’m meant to be the ‘alpha’ of a pack? It might be weird as shit, but there’s no way I’m going to abandon the boys after what they’ve been through.” She wrinkled her nose. “Listen to me. ‘Boys’. Manu’s only three years younger than I am!”
“They’re all new to shifting, though. Baby shifters.” Which was why she couldn’t blame them, either.
“And I’m no shifter at all, but here I am, the boss of them all.” Meaghan shrugged. “Cup of tea? Or coffee? And don’t you dare say you’ll get it for me. I haven’t been able to do anything for myself all morning.”
She bounced up before Olly could protest. Olly sank back into the sofa as kitchen noises filtered through the house.
Meaghan sauntered back in, looking far more satisfied than making a cup of coffee should merit, in Olly’s owl’s opinion.
“Don’t look at me like that,” Meaghan said, handing Olly her cup. “You’ve no idea what a pain it is to have someone leap to attention every time I lift my little finger.”
“Still with the not hating it?”
“Heck yeah.” Meaghan nestled back into the sofa. “So… I couldn’t help but notice you didn’t jump up on the ceiling when Manu and Ryan burst in before. You’re looking better, too. What’s changed?”
“Maybe I got a good night’s sleep?” Olly’s cheeks heated up. She hadn’t slept that much, actually.
“Mm-hmm.” Meaghan raised one eyebrow. “And the truth is…?”
“Jackson’s back,” Olly blurted out. She wrapped her hands around her mug.
“That’s…” Meaghan pursed her lips, searching Olly’s face. “…Good? Bad? It’s so hard to tell with you.”
Hah! Olly’s owl crowed.
“It’s good. I hope.”
“But…”
“What?”
Meaghan leaned forward. “That’s what’s coming next, isn’t it? It’s good, you hope, but…” She sipped her drink and made a face. “Ew. Maybe I should have let one of the boys make this. How can I get tea wrong?”
Olly fidgeted. Meaghan’s eyebrows shot up. “What does your owl think about all this? I remember last Christmas—”
“Don’t.” Olly hunched down into the corner of the sofa. “You don’t need to remind me. I made a mistake last year.”
“About him not being your mate?”
“No. I was right about that. The mistake was thinking I don’t love him.”
Meaghan gave her a slow look, then shrugged. “Cool.”
“Cool? Is that all you have to say?”
“Uh, I’m happy for you?” She raised her hands. “Look, Olly, I’m still new to this. If you’d have asked me last year, I would have said soulmates didn’t exist, but I wouldn’t have said two people couldn’t fall in love and be perfect for one another without being soulmates. And you and Jackson just… work.” She poked Olly with one toe. “So, you and Jackson. What’s next?”
“I… don’t know.” Olly frowned. “We’re going to dinner tonight?”
“Have fun,” Meaghan said, smiling at her. “I’m happy for you. Jackson’s a sweet guy, and I hope you guys have a good time.” She hesitated. “Just keep in mind it might be a temporary thing, okay?”
Olly bristled. “What do you mean?”
“Seriously?” Meaghan gestured, slopping tea onto the floor. She cursed and put her cup down, then fixed Olly with a stare that was equal parts exasperated and worried. “Olly, he’s not your mate.”
“I know that!”
“Which means somewhere out there, someone is. Have you thought this through? What will you do if you find your actual soulmate?”
Cold gripped Olly’s heart.
“I know I’ve only got a year of this whole shifter business under my belt, but… I am a shifter’s mate. When I first saw Caine, it hit me so hard I didn’t know if I wanted him, or wanted to…”
“…Stuff him in the back of your truck and kidnap him?” Olly suggested weakly.
“Hey, we both know what happened. No need to rub it in.” As though unconsciously echoing her words, she started to rub her stomach. “But even though I didn’t know what it was, it was powerful. And Caine says it was even more than that, for him. It was undeniable.”
Olly swallowed. “I know.”
“Cool.” Meaghan swatted her arm. “Now get out of here and go have a good time on your date.”
Sure, after you threw a bucket of cold water on it. But she knew Meaghan was only trying to help. And the worst part was, Meaghan was right. Shifters could fall in love with people who weren’t their mates. It happened. But those relationships generally didn’t last.
Meaghan thought Olly’s relationship with Jackson was just a fling. A good time for both of them, but not forever.
She couldn’t bear that thought.
She’d only just found her happiness. She didn’t care what was meant to happen—no one could make her feel like Jackson did. Like she’d found a tiny piece of the world where she fit perfectly. She couldn’t let anything or anyone take it away from her.
But if her owl identified her mate, it was all over.
I won’t! her owl reassured her. I won’t let it happen!
Can you even stop it? Honestly?
I can try, it said, its voice small.
“Hey,” Meaghan said. “You okay?”
Olly clenched her fists. This was probably a bad decision, but…
“Yes. I’m fine. I’m going on a date with Jackson, and it’s going to be fun.”
She would manage this. Somehow.
18
Jackson
Jackson was standing outside Hannah’s Grillhouse. Under the streetlight, so Olly would be able to spot him easily.
He ran a finger under his collar. His shirt felt too tight all over. It had fit fine when he tried it on in the store, but now he felt like a sausage about to burst out of its skin.
He undid the top couple of buttons. It helped with the throttling, but not the worry that if he breathed too deeply he’d be picking buttons out of the gutter.
Have I put on weight? Olly said my shoulders looked
broader…
His stomach swooped. Thinking about the night before still made him sweat.
He’d almost lost her again. First in the pond and then when he froze up. His heart’s desire had been in his arms and he’d almost screwed it all up.
She wants me. He waited for his stomach to stop lurching. She chose me.
And now here he was. Standing under the light outside the Grillhouse like a sitting duck so that she could take her time scoping out the situation before she—
He was keeping a lookout too, casually, and when a woman with her head down walked past him so close she almost walked into him, he did a double-take.
“Olly?”
“Jackson!”
The woman’s head snapped up. Olly stared up at him, her eyes wide and somehow guarded.
She didn’t look as though she’d forgotten their date. She was wearing her usual fur-lined coat over a tight dress and what he hoped were fleece-lined stockings. Her face was made up, or at least, her eyelashes looked darker than usual and he was pretty sure her lips weren’t usually berry red.
She looked amazing. But the hood was pulled too far down over her head—she wouldn’t have any peripheral vision. And she’d almost run straight into him.
“You weren’t looking where you were going?” Jackson asked, surprised.
Olly’s mouth worked silently. Eventually she gave an embarrassed grin. “Worrying too much about dinner,” she admitted.
“If you’d rather go home—”
“No! I mean, home later, yes,” she amended. “Food first.”
He slipped his arm into hers. “You look beautiful, by the way.”
“Really?” Olly looked down at herself, her face glowing. “I thought it might be a bit much…”
“You’re making me feel underdressed.”
Her eyes flicked over him and he got the uncanny feeling that she hadn’t looked at him until then. For Olly, that was highly unusual.
“You’re wearing a shirt with sleeves?” she asked, and he nodded. “Then you’re already doing better than most guys in this town.”
“One benefit of not dating a shifter.” Jackson spoke in an undertone. “I’m less likely to bust through all my clothes.”
Stop looking for problems, he told himself. Wait for them to find you. If you go looking, half the time you’ll be the one making the problem.
His pocket buzzed and he bit back a sigh. Speaking of problems… Andrew had been trying to call him all afternoon. God knew how he had found Jackson’s contact details but he’d made the mistake of picking up the first time so there was no point pretending he had the wrong number.
“Phone call?” Olly nodded towards his pocket.
“Nope.” Jackson rejected the call and turned his phone off.
“I can’t believe your phone survived yesterday.”
“Waterproof case,” he said, and slipped it back into his pocket.
She narrowed her eyes. “Mine’s only water-resistant. And totally dead now. I’ll have to borrow one of the work phones without Bob noticing.”
“What?” Jackson guessed before she answered. “You haven’t told him?”
“He was off sick today. And…” She sighed and bumped her head against his shoulder. “You and me is going to be big enough news without adding ‘and also, my owl jumped into a frozen lake to steal someone else’s engagement ring’ to the mix.”
“But you are going to tell him about us?”
“I thought we could tell him.” She squeezed his arm. The soft breath she let out as she leaned against him made his blood run hot. “Later. After dinner and after after-dinner.”
He held the door for her. “Sounds good to me. Especially that after-dinner.” In between dodging Andrew’s calls, he’d planned something for after they left the Grillhouse.
The restaurant was warm and cozy. It had a small indoor area and large courtyard out the back, with braziers burning merrily to keep diners warm. At the far end was a firepit where the evening’s roast was being prepared. The restaurant’s owner, Hannah Holborn, waved them through to the courtyard. The smell of crackling pork wafted through the air.
And the hairs on the back of Jackson’s neck didn’t stop prickling.
Stop looking for problems, he’d told himself. But something wasn’t right. Instead of watching all the other diners carefully, like she normally would, Olly seemed to be going out of her way not to look at them. She almost ran straight into one of the waiters.
“Let’s sit here,” she burst out, flustered. She grabbed a chair at a table in the middle of the courtyard, which was strange enough on its own, but the chair she’d chosen was facing the wall. She wouldn’t be able to keep an eye on anyone from there. Well, anyone except him, if he sat opposite her.
“Everything okay?” he asked her as they sat down.
“Yes!” she replied. Too quickly, he thought. He felt bad for being suspicious, but…
Before he could pry any further—or get his act together and not pry any further—one of the waiters appeared at his shoulder.
“Hey, folks, what can I—oh, hey, Olly. I didn’t realize it was you. You know your usual table’s free, if you want to move to it?”
Jackson saw relief flash behind Olly’s eyes as she recognized the waiter, and the way the corners of her lips tucked down with determination as she shook her head.
Stop being such a suspicious bastard, he told himself.
Olly smiled. “No, thanks, Brian. This is fine.”
“Oh, well, in that case, I can get the kitchen to do your usual—”
“Actually, I was thinking I might try something different?”
“…Sure thing.”
Jackson turned in his seat to glance at the waiter. He looked like he was having trouble keeping up and although Jackson could put some of that down to the dinner rush, some of it had to be that Brian was noticing the same thing he was. Olly was acting strangely.
And he knew how much she hated it when people noticed something about her.
He cleared his throat. “What’s tonight’s special?”
Brian jumped to attention. “Uh, there’s pork belly…”
“Sounds great. I’ll have that, and whatever beer you’ve got on tap.”
“Me too,” Olly added.
“Uh, but we’re not allowed to serve it undercooked—”
“Then I’ll have it cooked the normal amount.” Olly’s cheeks reddened. “And a beer.”
Brian opened his mouth and Jackson could already see the question in his eyes, so he got in first. “Can we get some sides with that?”
“Uh, there’s roast potatoes, sweetcorn, beans…”
“Yes,” Olly said firmly. “Extra well cooked.”
Brian hurried off, still looking puzzled, and Jackson sat back.
“Trying something new?” he asked, raising his eyebrows at Olly.
She shrugged. Just for a moment, something in the tightness of her shoulders and the way her head ducked down made her seem more like her old self. Then she straightened her neck and looked Jackson in the eye. “That’s the idea. I decided I’m going to let go of some bad habits that haven’t actually helped me as much as I thought.”
He reached across the table to take her hand. “Bit early for letting go of bad habits, isn’t it? New Year’s a week away.”
“But you’re here now.” Her fingers twisted around his.
Her eyes stayed locked on to his as Brian returned with their drinks. Jackson’s throat was dry. He cleared it and lifted his glass.
“Here’s to being your new bad habit,” he said. His voice was rough, even though he’d cleared his throat, but Olly’s eyes lit up.
“I hope so,” she murmured, tipping her head back and smiling at him through her eyelashes. “Maybe you’ll even end up being a good habit.”
“Maybe.” Jackson tapped his glass against hers and a shiver went down his arm. Because of the cold beer, he told himself as the shiver lodged itself in his chest. He
took a deep breath and something trembled behind his ribs. “Wouldn’t bet on it.”
“That’s exactly what I’m doing.” Olly’s lips flattened into a stubborn line. “If you can take a risk on me—”
She broke off as Brian appeared with their meals. Two slabs of pork belly with crackling an inch thick and piles of roasted vegetables. Jackson’s stomach rumbled as the waiter placed his plate in front of him.
Olly prodded her pork belly with her fork. “This looks… good?” Her eyes drifted sideways—but not sideways enough to look at anyone else in the restaurant—and she frowned. “I’m sure it’s good,” she said, more firmly.
“Your owl’s having doubts?”
Olly wrinkled her nose. “It thinks if something’s not still bleeding it doesn’t count as a meal.”
That got them both a few disgusted looks from the tables either side. Jackson’s own stomach wasn’t too happy about the visual, either.
Olly caught his eye. “Sorry.” She prodded the crackling again. “It does look good, though. Even if it’s not leaking.”
“God, Olly…”
She smirked at him and he glared at her until she laughed out loud.
Olly speared a slice of pork belly. Crackling crunched as she bit into it. “Oh, God, this is good,” she muttered. “I can’t believe I’ve been missing out on this my entire life.” She peered up at Jackson, her eyes dancing. “Do you want to know what my owl says about it?” she added in an undertone.
He groaned and rubbed his forehead. “Go on. You can’t ruin my appetite more than you already have.”
“It actually likes it. Because it’s crunchy and squishy at the same time and that’s almost as good as fresh—”
“—And that’s enough.” Jackson raised his hands. “Are you trying to turn me vegetarian?”
“Is it working?” She eyed up his plate. “How much worse do I have to go before I get your share?”
Jackson picked up his fork. “Worse enough for us to get kicked out of here before I give up one bite of this belly.”
Olly sniggered and sucked the fat from another piece of crackling. She grinned and crunched down on it. “Mmm,” she moaned. “Almost as good as mouse bones…”