by Olivia Dade
FROM: [email protected]
TO: [email protected]
Thursday, January 26, 2017 7:58 p.m.
Not at the moment. Sorry. I’m just plain old Miles O’Connor.
Shouldn’t you be catching bouquets and charming smitten groomsmen? Or taking lots of selfies, since you’re totally photogenic, despite your protests?
FROM: [email protected]
TO: [email protected]
Thursday, January 26, 2017 8:08 p.m.
Sadly, my life is not a romantic comedy. My current record: Zero bouquets caught. Zero smitten groomsmen. Zero selfies.
It was a lovely wedding, though.
FROM: [email protected]
TO: [email protected]
Thursday, January 26, 2017 8:13 p.m.
The groomsmen are fools.
FROM: [email protected]
TO: [email protected]
Thursday, January 26, 2017 8:20 p.m.
Thank you. That’s sweet.
FROM: [email protected]
TO: [email protected]
Thursday, January 26, 2017 8:22 p.m.
That’s the truth.
FROM: [email protected]
TO: [email protected]
Thursday, January 26, 2017 8:25 p.m.
Are you sure we couldn’t schedule a Bookmobile stop for you? I could try to tag along. I’d really love to meet you.
Or maybe you could make it to the library? Just for a brief visit?
FROM: [email protected]
TO: [email protected]
Friday, January 27, 2017 4:13 a.m.
I can’t. I’m sorry.
FROM: [email protected]
TO: [email protected]
Friday, January 27, 2017 6:11 a.m.
No need to be sorry. You told me from the beginning that you couldn’t. If you could, I imagine we wouldn’t be writing right now.
FROM: [email protected]
TO: [email protected]
Friday, January 27, 2017 6:17 a.m.
And that would be tragic. From the very start, a message from you brightened my entire day.
Not because it came from you in particular, of course. I just love talking about e-book downloads and lending periods. Nothing like a good chat concerning MOBI files to cheer a man up, I always say.
FROM: [email protected]
TO: [email protected]
Friday, January 27, 2017 6:20 a.m.
Haha. Same here. Nothing makes the work day move more quickly than troubleshooting devices I can’t actually see using apps that differ depending on the specific device used.
Wait, did I say quickly? I meant painfully.
(Kidding. I don’t mind. I really do like helping people.)
FROM: [email protected]
TO: [email protected]
Friday, January 27, 2017 6:25 a.m.
I know, Mary. Believe me, I know.
1 MESSAGE SAVED IN DRAFTS FOLDER
FROM: [email protected]
TO: [email protected]
Tuesday, February 14, 2017 8:58 a.m.
We’ve been writing for weeks now. I wish I could
You should know how much I
Fuck, I’m a coward.
FROM: [email protected]
TO: [email protected]
Tuesday, February 14, 2017 9:46 a.m.
Happy Valentine’s Day, Mary.
1 MESSAGE SAVED IN DRAFTS FOLDER
FROM: [email protected]
TO: [email protected]
Tuesday, February 14, 2017 9:55 a.m.
Are you alone today? I’ve never asked if you have a girlfriend. Or even a wife, I suppose. You seem so…isolated, I guess.
Maybe I could come visit you at some point? Would that be okay? We could
Would you like to
Don’t be stupid, Mary Louise. The man probably has three wives and twenty-seven children scattered across North America.
FROM: [email protected]
TO: [email protected]
Tuesday, February 14, 2017 10:00 a.m.
Happy Valentine’s Day, Miles.
FROM: [email protected]
TO: [email protected]
Friday, March 24, 2017 11:22 a.m.
It occurs to me that we’ve been writing each other every day for a couple of months, and I still don’t know whether you grew up in Nice County. Have you ever lived anywhere else? And do you like it here?
FROM: [email protected]
TO: [email protected]
Friday, March 24, 2017 12:13 p.m.
I grew up here in Nice County. My dad is the chief of police, and my mom is vice president of a regional bank, so we were always very committed to the community. No moving around. On the first day I worked here at the library, I already knew the names of most of the people who walked through the doors. That didn’t make me any less nervous, of course.
I hope you won’t take this the wrong way. I love my hometown. I love the orchards and the farmers markets and the mountains. I love my coworkers, who’ve become my closest friends. I love (most of) our patrons. But I wish we had more museums and cultural opportunities. I also wish more families like mine lived here. Nice County itself is somewhat diverse, but the Battlefield area…not so much.
Anyway, that’s why I ended up going to UCLA for college. I stayed there for a few years after I graduated, but it didn’t work out. I moved back home about two years ago.
What about you? Where did you live before here?
FROM: [email protected]
TO: [email protected]
Friday, March 24, 2017 1:49 p.m.
I moved from LA to Nice County in December. What a coincidence, huh?
Anyway, back to you. I can’t imagine how it felt to grow up in such a small, homogeneous community. If you don’t mind telling me, what was that like for you?
And are you dating anyone? Engaged? Married?
FROM: [email protected]
TO: [email protected]
Friday, March 24, 2017 2:04 p.m.
Single. For the moment.
Can you tell me more about what you did back in California? Do you have family out there? Why did you move?
FROM: [email protected]
TO: [email protected]
Friday, March 24, 2017 5:08 p.m.
I did carpentry. But my old job didn’t work for me anymore, so I left. I’m trying to figure out my next step here in Nice County.
I have one brother who still lives in LA.
Mary? Did I offend you with my question about your childhood?
FROM: [email protected]
TO: [email protected]
Saturday, March 25, 2017 9:17 a.m.
You didn’t offend me. Don’t worry. But I’m not sure if I’m comfortable sharing such personal information about my life with a man who doesn’t really tell me much about himself in return.
FROM: [email protected]
TO: [email protected]
Saturday, March 25, 2017 10:01 a.m.
What do you want me to tell you?
FROM: [email protected]
TO: [email protected]
Saturday, March 25, 2017 10:15 a.m.
Please forgive my nosiness. But…we’ve been writing every day for months. Sometimes dozens of times a day. And I don’t even know if you’re married or have a girlfriend. I don’t know if you have children somewhere. I don’t know what you do on a daily b
asis. I don’t know why you left California or why you chose to come here or how long you’re going to stay. And I don’t know why we can’t meet in person.
Again, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to pry.
FROM: [email protected]
TO: [email protected]
Sunday, March 26, 2017 3:03 a.m.
I’m not married, and I don’t have a girlfriend. No kids.
I had some health issues late last year, and I’m still reckoning with how to move forward. I’m basically throwing myself a pity party, and I don’t feel good about inviting anyone else to the celebration. Not even you, the most patient woman I’ve ever (virtually) met.
I don’t plan on going anywhere. As far as I’m concerned, Nice County is my final destination. I can’t go back to my old job, and my brother and I aren’t close anymore.
If you feel like you should stop writing me, I’ll understand. If you’re willing to keep corresponding, though, I promise not to push for personal information I’m not willing to give in return.
FROM: [email protected]
TO: [email protected]
Sunday, March 26, 2017 4:45 a.m.
I’m so sorry you’ve had health issues. If there’s ever anything I can do to help, please let me know. I mean it.
I want to keep corresponding. I might not be able to write quite as much as I have in the past, though. Angie convinced me to sign up for an online dating service a while ago, and I’ve been swamped by matches and messages. Sorting through all the information can be overwhelming. It takes a ton of time, much more than I ever anticipated.
So far, from what I can tell, online dating is like that old saying: The odds are good, but the goods are odd.
Here’s hoping I find someone normal soon!
FROM: [email protected]
TO: [email protected]
Sunday, March 26, 2017 8:51 a.m.
If my pity party ever ended, would you still be interested in meeting me?
FROM: [email protected]
TO: [email protected]
Sunday, March 26, 2017 8:55 a.m.
Of course I’d love to meet you.
But in the meantime, what movies have you been streaming? Any award winners?
* * *
Miles stared at the e-mail on his monitor, his heart beating so loudly it echoed in his ears. There it was, his answer. The signal telling him he needed to take his life back in hand. An ironic phrase, considering.
He’d run out of time. If he wanted to find out whether he and Mary could become more than virtual friends, it would have to be soon. Just because the guys at the wedding had been too stupid to realize what they’d overlooked, and just because her online matches to this point had apparently been weirdos, his luck couldn’t hold out forever.
That he knew. With the sort of intimate bitterness borne of endless weeks spent in pain. That pain was diminishing day by day, but the damage was done. Permanent.
For three months, he’d been recuperating from an injury that should never have occurred. Would never have occurred, had either his luck held out or his common sense intervened. In a matter of seconds, his charmed life had vanished forever, fully due to his own stupidity and bad judgment. He’d accepted that fact. Almost embraced it, actually, the same way he’d embraced his isolation from everyone he cared about.
Even from his brother. Especially from his brother.
Then Mary had appeared in his life like an unexpected gift two months ago, and he hadn’t known whether to weep in gratitude or expect another blow.
So he’d remained hidden away like a coward. But that wasn’t an option anymore, was it? Not if he wanted Mary—or at least the possibility of her—more than he wanted his isolation.
He looked down at himself. In recent weeks, his old tees had become too tight. Same with his custom-fitted, well-worn jeans. So he’d taken to cranking up the heat and walking around shirtless, covered only by a pair of forgiving boxers. If anyone came to the door—and by anyone, he meant Eugene, the pizza delivery guy—Miles put on a robe.
Three months’ worth of unkempt beard made him nearly unrecognizable, which wasn’t an accident. His shaggy hair flopped over his eyes. And he had the lowering suspicion that he didn’t smell too good at the moment.
A quick sniff near his right armpit proved that theory correct.
In his present state, he certainly didn’t deserve the attention of a woman like Mary. She was not only kind and smart and funny, but quietly beautiful too. No doubt she also bathed a lot more regularly than he currently did.
He’d bookmarked that photo of her helping kids at the library, but he didn’t need to click on the link. He’d memorized every feature already. Her warm brown skin and wide, high forehead. Her big, dark eyes. The way the bridge of her nose crinkled when she grinned. The black hair swept neatly back into either a ponytail or a twist of some sort. From that single picture, he couldn’t tell which.
He’d spent weeks and weeks wondering. He wanted to know.
She wore a small locket, which fell an inch or so above the modest neckline of her blouse. Discreet earrings. Clothes that fit well and flattered her curvy, fit frame.
She was lovely. So lovely, and he wanted to see her in the flesh more than he wanted just about anything in his life right now.
And he would see her. Eventually. It would simply take a little preparation. More exercise, less takeout, and significantly better grooming. By the time he met Mary, he was determined to bear some semblance to the man he’d been before the accident. Whether that would prove enough to ignite real-life chemistry and win her over, he didn’t know.
But he had to try.
3
FROM: [email protected]
TO: [email protected]
Friday, April 21, 2017 11:58 a.m.
You must be nearing your lunch break. I hope you whipped any troublesome patrons into shape this morning. How’d your performance evaluation with Angie go?
I ran on my treadmill after breakfast. Since then, I’ve been watching documentaries about a few places I’ve visited over the years. Addis Ababa, the Andes Mountains, etc. Gorgeous scenery.
You’re off this weekend, right? Do you have big plans?
FROM: [email protected]
TO: [email protected]
Friday, April 21, 2017 12:15 p.m.
The evaluation was just fine. Angie’s happy with me and what I do for the library. Next time, though, maybe I need to talk to her about finding ways to make my work a little more…I don’t know. Challenging? Varied?
But overall, it’s a great job, and I love her and my coworkers. I don’t mean to be whiny. Sorry about that.
Instead of complaining, I should be figuring out different ways to help our patrons. Maybe I should propose that class I told you about the other day? The one where I’d help them with their résumés and job applications?
Or maybe I should focus less on work and more on my family. My brothers and their wives always need a babysitter, and my mom and dad could use some help with their yard. There’s plenty to keep me busy, both in and out of the library.
Sorry to ramble. Let me get back to what you wrote.
Sounds like you had a great morning! If you’d recommend any of those movies you’ve been watching, I’d love the names/links. I wish I were braver about traveling to new places. But for now, reading and seeing films about them will have to suffice.
And yes, for once, I actually DO have big plans! I finally met a guy who seems normal and nice on that online dating site. Just in time, too, since I was planning to shut down my account and acquire a dozen cats (transitioning directly from “bachelorette” to “cat lady” with lightning speed!) right around the time we were matched.
Anyway, I’m having dinner with him after work tonight. He lives near D.C., so we’re m
eeting in the middle. Wish me luck.
How about you? What are your weekend plans?
FROM: [email protected]
TO: [email protected]
Friday, April 21, 2017 3:22 p.m.
Miles? Are you okay? I usually hear from you before now.
FROM: [email protected]
TO: [email protected]
Friday, April 21, 2017 4:41 p.m.
Miles?