by Marion Dess
"Honey." I could hear her muffled by the door. "You ok?"
"Yes Ma. I'll be out-give me a sec will you?"
"Alright, alright you don't have to get an attitude. What's taking so long? It's past five and they're waiting for me at the doctor's office."
I gently put the bottle back in the medicine cabinet. A muffled knock at the door was answered. The pills dissolved under my tongue. A horrid taste. I grabbed the full warm Styrofoam cup and opened the door.
"Ma?" I called as I crossed the threshold into the kitchen. "Yeah, baby?" she came around the corner smiling.
"Pizza got here really quick," She said holding the pizza box. The pee seemed to bum through the Styrofoam onto my palm. I stared at her. Her face, her lines, the age spots, the dyed red hair, the knee length signature jean skirt, her bare feet, then back down at my bare feet. I set the cup on the kitchen counter. Its yellow the same as the paint on the walls. My stomach growled.
"Are you alright Angelbug? You were crying?" She looked at me intently.
"I did what you asked. Can I eat some pizza?"
I didn't look her in the eye. She set the pizza box on the counter beside the cup. Then grabbed the cup and poured it in a baggie and sealed it up. She then put it in one of her lunch boxes from under the kitchen sink.
'"Ok, thank you, Mommy is so happy, you sit and eat pizza. There should be Tabasco in the cabinet, Mommy remembered to buy you some. I' II be right back, gotta get it to the doc right away. Mommy loves you, honey--thank you."
She grabbed the sides of my head and kissed my cheeks then my forehead. I could smell the cigarette smoke on her rough stubby fingers with chipped red lacquer and then she was out the door. I stood in the window and watched her pull out of the driveway.
Chapter 2
Lucia looked at the timer she had set on her watch. They were 5 hours, 23 minutes and 17 seconds in to the flight. She applied another layer of crimson matte lipstick, smacked her lips together, and proceeded down the aisle. As Lucia walked and checked on passengers, something caught her eye. A pepperoni-sized areola belonging to a sleeping woman appeared from under the soft white muzzle of a quite ordinary a calico cat. The woman was dead asleep in aisle seat 28D, trapping passengers 28E and F. Lucia smiled and passed them as if nothing unusual were occuring, eager to reach the galley to divulge the scene she just witnessed.
"Do you know what's going on in 28?" Lucia asked Silvi, another attendant, as she cupped Silvi's elbow. Lucia tried to suppress her laugher. Silvi glanced down the aisle and back at Lucia to answer her.
"I didn't have time to check but it looks like just some lady nursing a baby." "No. Go--," said Lucia.
Silvi continued her course down the aisle. She stopped in front of the sleeping woman and saw the cat. It pressed on the sleeping woman's breast and licked the tips of its paws slowly and carefully. Silvi looked back down the aisle at Lucia who was bent over with both hands on her mouth, eyes smiling. Silvi pointed at Lucia and then pointed down at the sleeping woman. Lucia shook her head and then shuddered in suppressed amusement. She tugged on her navy blue dress and adjusted her navy blue stockings, stood up straight and headed towards Silvi and the cat lady. Silvi continued to move down the aisle back to the galley, leaving Lucia to deal with the matter.
She had noticed that many Americans didn't like to sit next to breastfeeding women, so in this case, the passengers sitting beside the breastfeeding cat would need to be taken care of promptly. Under no1mal circumstances, she would have prevented any sort of situation by asking the mother to cover up with one of the airline's blankets while nursing. This usually went over well. Lucia opened an overhead bin and grabbed a thin airline blanket. Most, if not all, mothers would oblige. She certainly did not want to wake this particular passenger up because, what would she say in this unprecedented moment in her career?
The woman in 28D, however, was not a mother of a human baby, but of a full-grown cat. Lucia reeled and covered her mouth with her hands. Her own nipples hurt at the sight of the feline’s claws. She thought of the founding of Rome and the statue of Romulus and Remus feeding from the sacs of milk that hung heavily on the she-wolf.
"Par Dias! Senora?" Lucia whispered loudly.
Lucia's skin prickled in the cold air. She crossed her arms over her dark navy suit jacket embroidered with Aerolineas Argentinas on the lapel. A delicate sky blue and gold silk scarf was tied around her slender brown neck. She patted her black coffee hair making sure it was still in a tight chignon, nestled in the curve of her neck. Lucia looked around at the sleeping passengers and then down at her watch. 4 hours, 57 minutes and 33 seconds.
"'Ma'm," she said, hunched over the sleeping woman in 28D, her eyes focused on the cat.
"'Excuse me. Ma'm. Senora."
Lucia shook her head and let out a tiny laugh. Wide awake, the passengers sitting beside her looked up at Lucia, their eyes pleading for her to do something. She tilted her head to the side and gave them a courteous smile, then looked back upon the sleeping woman and her cat.
Doesn't it hurt, Lucia wondered. How can she be sleeping? The cat stopped nursing and licked its muzzle and paws that were sitting neatly on the exposed breast. Lucia unwrapped the blanket she had been holding and placed it over the cat all the way up to the sleeping woman's chin. She walked back to the flight attendant quarters. The other attendants were busy with other passengers or sleeping above in the bunks. She knew she had to write up a report. She hated writing up passengers and dreaded the idea of notifying the gate attendant upon arrival to make a record of the incident.
As soon as Silvi stepped out of the bathroom, Lucia grabbed her elbow again and pulled her closer. She noticed Silvi wasn't wearing her lipstick.
"Listen, you know the mother nursing in 28D?" Lucia whispered. "Yeah, did she refuse?" Silvi rubbed the sleep from her eyes.
"I just covered her up," Lucia whispered. "What?"
"Si. What can I do?"
"Dale. You have to tell her to put the cat in its carrier. Airline policy." "I know. But--we drink cow's milk."
'That has nothing...look forget the breastfeeding, that's fucking weird but no animals can be out in the plane. Go back, wake her up and have her put the cat away."
Silvi shook her head and suppressed her laughter with her hand. She made her way up the stairs. Once she disappeared into the sleeping quarters, Lucia heard giggles spread across the bunks. She glanced at the incident report clipboard between the kitchen manifold and the wall of the plane and took a deep breath.
When she returned to 28D, the woman was now wide awake. The cat was in its carrier under the seat in front of her.
"Ma'm. Are you alright?" Lucia asked. "Yea, I'm fine," the woman replied.
"The attendant button had been pressed but when I came earlier you were fast asleep."
"I just had the craziest dream."
"I'm sorry to hear that but--," said Lucia.
The carrier was Jocked with the calico cat fast asleep inside.
The woman spoke. "In the dream, I had a baby and the baby wasn't human but it wasn't not human. It was whole though, and as soon as I gave it a bath, it had fur. Its mouth was that of a rat but it didn't hurt when I breastfed it. It was mine. I knew it was mine. I felt it had come from me."
"Wow, that is quite strange. Look, ma'm, I need you to keep your cat inside the carrier at all times." Lucia shifted her feet. The woman continued.
"I needed to take care of it and I wanted to take care of it. There was a house with men in it. The men in the house were some people I knew burthey didn't know I was there. There was a grandfather too but without me really knowing it was a grandfather."
"Dreams are funny that way. But do you understand, the cat must stay in the carrier during the duration of the flight," said Lucia.
"You were there, Lucia" said the woman, her brown eyes wide.
"Oh?" said Lucia as she felt for her name tag that was pinned to the right side of her chest.
"Now I remember. You didn't help and the oldest man made it worse. I felt alone with two men in the house and you and this baby that wasn't a baby but still my baby.
Thank God I woke up, and sorry for too much information but my left nipple is sore. It's as if it were real."
"Wow. That's quite some dream. It's ok, we all have nightmares from time to time. Are you feeling alright? Would you like me to get you anything? A glass of wine perhaps?"
"Yes, actually that would be nice. I'll take anything red."
"I' 11 be right back." Lucia turned on her heel and headed towards the plane's kitchen.
Chapter 3
After a glass of wine, the woman, whose name was Miki, felt much better and her head seemed to be screwed on right after her bout of dreams. Miki lightly tapped the carrier under her seat with her toes to see if her cat was still there. It lifted its head and looked at her for some time then curled up towards the back of the carrier. She spun the wine glass around on the little foldable table in front of her. Miki had avoided turning on her TV screen that was mounted in front of her the whole flight. Her reflection smiled back at her in the black screen. She had an aversion to screens. They hurt her eyes. Her left nipple felt tender under the pressure of her bra and weight of her white blouse. She averted her gaze to the man beside her who was finally asleep after staring at her for a long time. She checked his reflection in his TV and it showed the reverse of him slumped towards the window with his mouth agape. She felt the urge to throw something between his parted lips into the black hole of his mouth. How can people sleep comfo11ably like that? The air in the plane was dry though they did their best with humidifiers, 30,000 feet just sucked the moisture out of the plane's atmosphere.
She turned on the TV in the back of the headrest in front of her and pressed the map button on the screen. It lit up with their location above the southern coast of Brazil with a countdown clock on the right hand corner indicating 4 hours, 29 minutes and 54 seconds to Buenos Aires. The Paris of the South. Miki had no knowledge of Argentina, let alone Uruguay before the dreams and before the cat. What came first is fuzzy to her. She didn't remember learning about it in her middles school Spanish class, nor did she wish to continue to learn the language; it was merely a requirement a11 students had to fulfil] to get to highschool. What prompted her gaze towards the underside of the globe was a drawing she saw of Joaquin Torres Garcia's drawing, America Invertida, tattooed on a man's forearm at a dive bar near her apartment. When she saw the tattoo, her perception of the world turned upside down. She grabbed the man's arm to have a closer look. He wasn't at all surprised by her impolite behavior and humored her explaining why he had it permanently rendered on his body. She dreamed many dreams of South America after seeing Garcia's drawing. In these dreams she walked each street of Colonia de] Sacramento as if she were in a video arcade game, turning corners; never entering the doors that had one dimensional door handles. In these dreams she saw the calico cat and one time when she awoke he was meowing loudly at her doorstep.
Once they land, Miki would need a ride from Ezeiza to Capital Federal to take the BuqueBus across the Rio de la Plata to Colonia del Sacramento. In one of the dreams, she was instructed to take the calico to a lighthouse in Uruguay and the dreams would stop. The subconscious was the best way for her to travel somewhere but she preferred to be physically set in Colonia and to see the lighthouse for herself. It was the beacon upon which all her dreams sought, though she wondered why she hadn't seen it in her last two dreams.
Lucia walked by and took the empty wine glass and checked on the cat carrier. ''What a peculiar cat." Lucia said.
"Yeah, he is something. He's not really mine, just showed up at my door. I'm a dog person, you know. I don't understand something that shits in a box in your house, though I've never seen this one go, ever."
"Hmm. That's strange. He must do his business outside. You don't like cats but you sure are fond of this one."
"I suppose so, he's travelling with me, that's for sure. Not like I had a choice." "Does he have a name?" asked Lucia.
"Oh no, well--he does I'm sure but I don't know what his previous owner called him."
"So what do you call him?"
"Nothing really except maybe kitty or kiki. I don't want to rename him either, I wouldn't want to be renamed."
"How old is he, he's still nursing."
Ignoring Lucia's statement Miki continued, '"I don't know how old but he's way past nursing age, though I don't think I've ever seen him eat. He just disappears off somewhere. I guess, he's out eating. Now that we're both travelling and I've been with him the whole time, I still don't know where and when he eats."
Lucia shifted uncomfortably in her heels. They were new pumps, cheap and they were starting to do some damage to her ankles despite the padding of bandaids she'd secured on them. This woman really doesn't know, does she. How do you not know that a cat is latched onto your nipple while you 're sleeping?
"So you two are on vacation in Buenos Aires? Or headed somewhere else like Bariloche?" Lucia changed the subject.
"No, we're gonna take the ferry to Uruguay." "Ah, Uruguay is a lovely country. Where?" "Colonia del Sacramento."
"Oh yes, I've been a few times. It's beautiful. You must eat chivito. A lot of Argentines and tourists go there for a day trip."
'"I never knew it existed. Call me ignorant but sorry, I just never saw it on the map in school or didn't pay attention at least. Uruguay. Lovely name, fun to say.
YOU-RU-GU-A Y. It's a hidden gem. I saw it in my dreams--well--I saw Colonia. The lighthouse--the one built in the 1850s..all white standing atop some beautifully old fortified structure with worn stucco. And the tile map on the wall near the marina; the one that shows exactly where I am supposed to go. And I see all quite clearly..." Miki looked down at the cat and began to mumble to herself.
Lucia put her hand on Miki's shoulder and glanced at the cat whose face now took up the front of the carrier. The cat's eyes looked deeply into her own. His pupils were like two deep dark pools and she thought if she looked into them too long she'd see something that couldn't be unseen. She felt the gravity of the cat's stare. She felt as if she were going over a very tall and powerful waterfall and nothing she thrust her hands upon caught her weight. She felt her stomach dropping as she went over the precipice, suffocating in the roaring waters around her. In that instant, Lucia knew that the cat was very much aware of itself, more aware than probably most people are, and aware of her. Feeling uneasy, she looked back at Miki.
"Well, I know you will have a wonderful trip. Uruguay is much nicer than Argentina, like your Canada. I'll let you get some rest. If you need anything let us know." Lucia smiled but before she could walk back to the galley, Miki spoke, "Let's hope so.
Thank you, Lucia; for your kindness."
Miki grabbed Lucia's elbow and gave it a light squeeze and smiled. Lucia relaxed and she had almost forgotten this was the same woman who had been breastfeeding a cat moments ago. After all that, what difference did it make she thought.
"Porfavor, it's my pleasure." Lucia said and smiled down on Miki.
Miki sat back and closed her eyes as Lucia moved down the aisle checking on passengers and fixing their blankets across their laps. Lucia checked her watch again, 4 hours, 11 minutes and 14 seconds until they landed. The plane hummed. Sleeping heads looked bowed as if in a deep state of prayer. A few shifted around in their seats and some broke the monotonous hum of the plane with a loud snore. Quite a few mouths hung open on tilted heads.
Lucia had been a flight attendant since her mid -twenties. At 30,000 feet above sea level, there was more to serving coffee and asking people to put their seat forward; she had to de-escalate situations and in the event of an emergency, all her personal fears were tossed away along with any anxiety. She had the courage and sense of duty as a flight attendant like a captain who would sink with his ship. She loved serving planes, not people. Their curves and edges delig
hted her eyes. She most adored the many sounds planes made as the pilot prepared for take off. The creaking sound of metal and gurgling of lubricants, the whirring of the engines that moved the wing flaps out and up and down, and the cracking of the lowering of the landing gear.
She touched the outside of every plane before boarding with her fingers on her right hand. She wanted to leave her finger print outside, 30,000 feet in the atmosphere, her own mark. Though the people would forget her as they do with any flight attendant in matching uniforms, she wanted the plane to remember she had taken great care in its journey. Like baseball players and sailors, flight attendants are superstitious and have rituals. Hers were fairly simple and easy to do every single flight: shake the hand of the pilots and touch the outside of the plane. She couldn't remember, when all this began but it must have been her first flight ever as a newly minted flight attendant.
She wasn't there for the paycheck, though it was considerable now with her experience. Not all that much a people person, Lucia faked most of her way through the customer service part of her examination. Many aspects of the flight experience were a diversion from mundane life. She enjoyed the way the ground crew waved their arms and walked in unison while the plane taxied out of the gate. The smell of the felt blankets the airlines give out brought her the same pleasure booklovers have while smelling a new book. Most of all, she relished the quiet solitude that such a small space penning up 440 tired travellers could bring. She loved the silent pact between people who boarded long distance flights. Most were on their best behavior, minding their P's and Q's. The cooperation it took between that many strangers in the enclosure of an airplane impressed her. The contained hum and chill of the plane was perfect for contemplation. She wasn't concerned with the drama down on earth. She was here now, sitting in the comfortable silence of people sleeping; people who were in her care; she was like a mother without the physiological and mental price.