by Bella Jewel
“So, Serenity, you got yourself a man?” Muff asks, spooning food into his mouth.
I shake my head. “No.”
“Really?” he says, like that’s so shocking to him.
“They’re not so great where I come from.”
“Why?” Jackson asks, his eyes piercing mine.
“They’re abusive, mean, and just not honorable. I guess you could blame the people I hang around with, but still, I prefer not to go near the men.”
“Fair enough,” Muff says. “Some men are jerks.”
I laugh softly. “Yeah.”
“You study?” he continues.
“No, I wanted to, but...”
“But what?” Jackson adds.
“Well, we couldn’t afford it, and I wasn’t allowed.”
“You should do it,” Muff says gently. “Fuck everyone else.”
I smile at him. “Maybe one day I will.”
Jackson leans over, gripping his beer. “What did you want to do?”
“I wanted to be a nurse, I know it’s lame, but...”
“Helpin’ people ain’t lame, darlin’. It’s a gift, and you’re sure sweet enough to have that gift.”
I smile at him, unable to hold it back. It’s a smile filled with gratitude and emotion. “Thank you.”
“Just sayin’ what’s true.”
I turn away before he sees the expression of want on my face. My heart begins to thump steadily. I’m so confused. I’ve been here only a few days, and Jackson is getting to me in a way no one has before. It’s one of those instant attractions that you have no say so over.
“Well, thanks for dinner you two,” Muff says standing. “But I got business to attend to.”
“Bye Muff,” I smile.
“Later, beautiful.”
“Later man,” Jackson says.
Muff gives us one more grin, before leaving. It’s then I realize I’m now alone with Jackson. Standing quickly, I take my bowl to the sink and finish the last few mouthfuls before washing it and putting it up to dry. I turn to Jackson as I walk out.
“Thanks for that.”
“Don’t have to run, I don’t bite.”
My heart feels like it stops beating. He wants me to stay?
His eyes swing up to mine, and hold my gaze. “There’s some scary shit on T.V, but you can watch it with me, if you want.”
Oh god, he’s offering to watch movies with me. I feel my knees wobble as I walk over and sit on the couch beside him. We’re quite a distance away, but I can feel his presence like he’s sitting right beside me. He turns the volume up as the movie begins to play.
“You aren’t gonna scream, are you?”
I laugh nervously. “It’s highly possible, considering I’m scared of the dark...”
He gives me a look. “Seriously?”
“Seriously. It’s childish, but it’s true. I probably won’t sleep tonight, because I won’t be able to turn out the light.”
He chuckles.
“It’s not funny,” I protest.
“It’s kind of funny,” he grins, “a grown girl gettin’ scared over this bullshit.”
“This bullshit is very real!”
He laughs, and the sound is like music to my ears. I smile and drop my head back.
“So, what’s his real name?”
“Who?”
I watch as he leans back, and puts his arms up behind his head. Oh, those arms.
“Muff,” I say, my voice not coming out quite as strong as I would have hoped.
“Brian,” he says, grinning at me.
“Brian...seriously? That’s so...normal.”
He laughs again, “Yeah and that man is far from normal.”
“I like him, he’s kind of sweet,” I say, tucking my legs up and nestling back into the couch.
“Most of the girls say that.”
“Why?”
Jackson gives me a look from the corner of his eye. “You don’t know about Muff...and his nickname?”
“Well, I have a fair idea.”
Jackson gives a lazy, half smile. “He likes the...muff.”
I giggle, and then feel my cheeks flush. Oh god, I am talking about women’s bits, with Jackson. I turn my eyes back to the movie, feeling my skin prickle, just as some crazy murderer jumps out of a cupboard. I scream, spinning and burying my face into the couch. It takes me a moment to realize it’s not the couch, but Jackson’s arm. I leap backwards, eyes wide.
“Oh my god, sorry!”
He grins, clearly smothering a laugh. “Seriously? You’re scared of that?”
“He...I didn’t...” I cross my arms. “I didn’t see it coming!”
He snorts, and I realize I’ve shifted closer, and he doesn’t seem to mind. I tuck my legs back up, and I can feel his body heat running all over my body.
“Better close your eyes, scary bit comin’,” he warns, just as the girl opens the front door to see some creepy guy with a mask, and some awful weapon that I don’t give myself a chance to asses. I close my eyes, pressing my hands over my face.
“Is it over yet?” I mumble through my hands.
“Nah, he’s still chopping her up.”
“Jackson!” I cry.
“Truth,” he chuckles.
While my hands are over my face, I realize what I’m doing. It hits me like a brick. I’m sitting here, enjoying the company of the man I am going to lie and cheat. For a moment there, just a moment, I forgot what I was here for. I get to my feet quickly, feeling like a complete fool. I can’t be friends with Jackson, it’s just not right. Everything about this is so wrong.
“I should really go to bed,” I suddenly babble. “I don’t want to ruin the movie by screaming all night. Thanks, Jackson.”
“Serenity,” he calls as I turn rush up the stairs, but I don’t stop.
I get to my room, and close the door quickly, before pressing my back to it. This is all so risky, and stupid. I’m supposed to hate these people for what they did; I’m supposed to hate them just because they’re bikers. But I don’t. I can’t bring myself to see anything but some amazing people who aren’t out to hurt anyone. I lower my body down the door, and I sit there until I hear Jackson coming up the stairs. For a solid half an hour, I hear the shower running. I force any images of him naked and wet, out of my head.
When everything seems quiet, I creak open my door. The hall is dark. I creep out, desperate for a cup of hot tea. It’s the only thing that will allow me to get any sleep right now. I begin slowly creeping down the hall, when I run into a hard, hot form. Oh no. Not again. Jackson is half naked, I know because I feel his chest slam against my face. His skin is hot from the shower, and shit, he smells amazing. His hands instantly go up to my arms where he steadies me, and for a moment there in the darkness, we just stand there. I don’t leap back, he doesn’t let me go.
I find myself wanting to step closer, and without even knowing it, I do. I step forward until our bodies are flush, and my lips are only very lightly pressed against his chest. His fingers tighten around my arms, and his breathing deepens. One of my hands lifts and my fingertips just lightly graze the hard muscles on his chest. Oh god, everything inside me is throbbing, wanting to consume him. He steps back at the same time I do, and we both mumble an apology before rushing off. I’m ashamed of myself for not doing that right away. I let myself enjoy a moment with him.
And shit, that’s exactly what I did.
I enjoyed it.
~*CHAPTER 5*~
SERENITY
I open the fridge, groan, and shut it again. There’s nothing left. I’ve been making do as much as I can, but this house is in serious need of a decent food shop. I don’t want to ask Jackson, though, because it’s so rude. I have my own money, but to get into town, isn’t exactly easy. I have no car, and wasting money on a cab isn’t the logical thing to do. I walk over the pantry and swing it open. The only thing in there is a few tins of spaghetti and some olives. Seriously? I sigh deeply, and shut it. I guess i
t’s a cab for me.
I’m just about to dial one, when Jackson walks in. He looks like he’s busy, and he doesn’t notice me right away. I feel my skin prickle, because I know how uncomfortable it must be having me here, especially after the other night. We’ve both been walking on eggshells since then. Jackson lifts his head, and notices me. He jerks a little, and then puts a small, weak smile on his face. “Serenity, didn’t know you were here.”
“I was just heading into town to get some food.”
He raises his brows. “There ain’t any in the fridge?”
“Um, no...”
Doesn’t the man ever eat at home?
“Well, I’m headed into town. You can catch a lift with me.”
“Oh,” I say, feeling my cheeks heat. “No, it’s ok.”
“What do you plan on doin’? Wastin’ money on a cab?”
“Well, um, yeah...it’s the least I can do. You’ve let me stay here and...”
He waves a hand, cutting me off, and grips his keys. “You had nowhere to go, my daughter inherited my soft heart, and so here you are. It’s fine.”
“I know, but I feel like I’m crashing your space, and...”
He puts a hand up, giving me a look. “I’m fine with it.”
Our eyes meet, and I quickly look away. “Ok then, I’ll just get my purse.”
“No.”
I stop and stare at him, confused. “No?”
“It’s my house, my fridge you’re fillin’. I’ll give you the money.”
“Jackson, no, it’s fine.”
He gives me a hard look. “I said I got it.”
I nod, defeated. He’s not going to back down; I know enough about bikers to know they aren’t going to give in if they set their mind to something.
“I’ll just grab a few things, and then I’ll meet you in the truck.”
I nod, hurrying outside until I reach his truck. I slide in the passenger seat, suddenly feeling nerves flutter about in my stomach. I don’t really understand why I feel this way; I just know it has everything to do with Jackson. He makes me feel tight in the chest. I struggle to breathe around him, struggle to keep a logical mind, and I don’t quite understand it. I’m deep in thought when Jackson slides into the front seat. I flinch, and turn my face so I’m staring out the window. I feel the truck reversing, and a heavy, awkward silence fills the air. I feel like I need a topic of conversation, so I ask him the only thing I can think of.
“How did you become a biker?”
He glances at me quickly, before staring back towards the road. “It just happened. I had a rough life, and back then, the president was someone that was close to my family. When I lost my parents, he took me in. It went from there.”
“Do you ever regret it?”
He shakes his head. “Never, I have a family that I could never find anywhere else. Those guys, they’re my brothers, without them I’m not half the man I am now.”
I nod, understanding that. “I get that, it’s nice to have someone you believe in, the way you believe in them.”
“You don’t have anyone to believe in?”
I tense up. “I...I just had a different life. I never really got the chance.”
“Sorry to hear that.”
I shrug. “Life is life. We don’t get to choose how it goes, we just deal with it.”
“Right about that.”
We talk casually for the next half an hour. When we arrive in town, Jackson pulls up at the front of the little store and I get out. “I’ll come back when I’m done,” he says.
“Ok, thank you.”
He nods, and then drives off. Sighing with relief, I walk into the store. It feels nice to have a little freedom, even just for a moment. Right, where to start? I make a list in my head, and grab a cart. I go through, picking out everything I think we’ll need. I lose myself in my own thoughts, and I don’t even notice when Jackson comes up behind me an hour later.
“Deep in thought?”
I squeal and spin around, clutching my chest. “You scared me!”
He gives me a small smile. “Sorry. You nearly done?”
I go through that mental list again, and know there’s one thing I haven’t gotten. Tampons. It’s coming up to that time soon, and I’m not sure I’ll get another chance to come and get some. My cheeks flush, and I look away nervously.
“Um, I’m nearly done.”
He falls in step beside me, and I begin thinking of ways to get rid of him.
“Is there anything you need?” I ask.
“Nope.”
“Nothing at all?”
“Nope.”
Dammit.
“Oh, right, maybe you can take the cart to the counter, and I’ll meet you there?”
He gives me a confused expression. “Why?”
I grit my teeth. “Oh, just to miss the lineup.”
“Thought you said you were nearly done.”
“I need tampons!” I cry loudly. “I can’t get them when you’re standing right next to me.”
I dare to turn my eyes towards him, and his face is blank. Then, suddenly, he bursts out laughing. His head falls back, and his chest rumbles. That awful prick. I wish the ground would open and swallow me whole. My entire body tingles with shame, and I drop my head, so he can’t see the flush in my cheeks.
“You think that’s going to bother me?” he chuckles, reaching over and taking my chin, tilting it up to meet his expression. I feel my body break out in light trembles all over. His hands on me. It takes away all rational thought.
“It bothers me,” I whisper. “I don’t really know you, and...”
He shakes his head. “Darlin’, go and get your girly things. I’ll meet you at the counter, yeah?”
He gently drops his hand from my chin, and flashes me another heartwarming smile, before turning and taking the cart from my grips. Dying with shame, I find the tampons and pick the smallest box I can find, before heading back to the counter where Jackson is unloading all the food.
“You plannin’ to cook with all this?” he asks as I place the box on the counter.
“Yeah,” I nod. “Unless...you don’t want me to?”
He meets my gaze. “Didn’t know you knew how to cook?”
I shrug, reaching in to help him pull the items out. “I love cooking.”
“Well, you won’t hear me complaining.”
I chuckle. “Most men don’t.”
He grins at me, and my heart stutters. God, he’s beautiful, there’s just no other way of putting it. He’s pure, masculine beauty. We both look away quickly, and I feel my heart continuing on with its stupid little flip flops.
Why do I keep feeling like this around Jackson?
I have no right. Not when I’m betraying him the way I am.
~*CHAPTER 6*~
SERENITY
The small warehouse my father is hiding out in, is less than desirable. It’s old, crappy, hot, and it smells really bad. I walk through the main gates a week later, well past the date I was meant to come back. I know Hogan will be mad, but I had to find the right time to get out, and today was the only time I could do that. It took a lot for me to even find the courage to come back here, and if it wasn’t for my friend, I probably would have attempted to run.
I get deeper inside the warehouse, and groan at the heat. Yuck. I notice Janine right away on the bar. We’ve been friends for a long time; she’s the Old Lady to one of the well-known members, Derek. Her little daughter, Ebony, is the only reason I come back to this place. The poor girl would have no hope without her momma and me. We try to keep her away from as much as we possibly can.
“Sea!” she cries, rushing around the bar and over to me.
We leap into each other’s arms, and cling. I feel tears burn under my eyelids, but I hold them back. I could never let anything happen to this woman, or her baby. I lean back, and grip her short, red locks.
“You cut your hair!”
“This morning,” she smiles. “You like?”<
br />
“Love.”
She frowns, reaching out to touch the fading bruises on my face. “He’s a fucking pig.”
I smile weakly. “Yeah, I know.”
“One day honey, we’re going to get out of this god forsaken place.”
“We are,” I assure her. “I’ll make sure of it.”
“For now though,” she groans. “That no good son of a bitch is the only thing keeping Eb’s and I on our toes.”
She’s referring to Ebony’s dad, and I can’t blame her really. All of Hogan’s guys are scumbags. Each and every one of them. I’m sure he went around the world and picked every jerk, pig, rapist and woman basher he could and created an MC club.
“Where is Eb’s?”
“With her grandma.”
I nod. “My father?”
She jabs her thumb towards a door in the far left corner. “In there, and he’s in a mood.”
I feel my heart thud, but I still give her a smile. “Isn’t he always?”
She nods, and we hug once more before I head to Hogan’s office. When I get in, he’s sitting in his chair, staring out the window. Taking a deep breath, I clear my throat. He spins in his chair, and his eyes grow wild. I know how angry he is that I’m late, but I had to make up some excuse about going into town to buy some fresh clothes. Addi wanted to come, but I was lucky that Cade growled and said it was his afternoon with her.
“Where the fuck have you been?” Hogan bellows.
“I...I couldn’t get out.”
He slides his chair back, and stands, storming over and gripping my hair. I cry out. My eye burns as the ripping pain cascades through my body.
“Don’t, please, I’m sorry.”
“Waste of fuckin’ time you are, always fuckin’ wastin’ time. I gave you a specific order, and you didn’t fuckin’ follow it!”
His fist drives into my ribs, and I scream. I twist and turn, struggling to get out of his grips.
“Waste of fuckin’ air.”
He hits me again, and I’m sure I hear one of my ribs snap. I scream again, and my legs buckle as the pain becomes too much.