by L. M. Heidle
He crawled back on the couch, wrapping his arm around me. “Awe, angel, don’t pout.” I gave him a pointed look, still fighting the twitch of my lips. “Not that I’ve heard, but I can ask my uncle next time I talk to him.”
The overpowering feeling of panic flooded my system. I didn’t want his uncle to know. That would make me a loose end. They killed loose ends. My face must have shown my fear because his laughter filled the room again. “I’m sorry,” he finally wheezed out. “Since you’re asking off the wall questions, is it safe to assume you’re doing okay?”
“Well, I’m not sure what I am besides shocked and incredibly confused.”
He turned his body to face mine, resting his arm on the back of the couch. “Let’s see if we can’t clear things up for you. Next question.”
“If you’re not going to join your uncle, what are you doing after law school?”
“I never said I wouldn’t be working with my uncle.”
Instant heart drop. I didn’t know where this was headed, but I did know I wasn’t ready for it to be over. A lot of things I could look past like leaving the toilet seat up, dishes in the sink, or talking during a movie. Being with a killer? Yeah, I couldn’t look the other way on that one. “Just not in the way I originally planned.”
“Still confused.”
“It means I’m going to work for the law firm that handles his affairs.”
“Oh.”
“Alex, they’ll always be my family. For that reason alone, I will always be involved, just the legal side.”
“Won’t your uncle be disappointed?”
“No. He’s been pushing for this as well. When his wife Lucia, died, he changed. He’s still ruthless as hell, but his life became all about family and what’s best for them. He wants his daughter, Allie, and me to be more than his life. Most of that has to do with Lucia, but some of it comes from my mom. She was raised in the life, and she despised everything about it. Her marriage was arranged, so she didn’t have a choice. My uncle told me right before the wedding she tried to run, but her worthless father dragged her to the chapel.”
“Wow. I didn’t think arranged marriages still happened.”
“It’s still a pretty common practice within our families. The belief is if you marry someone who already knows the rules and what to expect, the less trouble there will be. It doesn’t happen as much now as in previous generations, but at times arranged marriages are also peace deals.”
“Peace deals?”
“The marriage is a way of solving a feud between different families.” Marrying someone you don’t know and probably don’t like? That would seriously suck.
“So were your parents a peace deal?”
“No, my grandpa was a dick with a gambling problem. One that my father played on. He paid off my grandpa’s debts, but only after he married my mom.” Complete and utter shock. I’m not sure there’s a response to that. “My mom always hated my father, which is why the day my grandpa died she filed for divorce.” Exactly what I would have done. “Something that was unheard of, but my uncle approved it. His only request was that she and I stay in contact with him. Over the years they kept in contact, and when my mom got sick, he and Lucia held her hand every step of the way. Eventually, the side effects got to be too much, so one day movers showed up at our apartment and packed everything. We lived with him until she died. He tried to get my father to let me stay, but he wouldn’t have it.”
“Hmm...a noble mobster,” I said trying to lighten the mood, but I truly believed it. Regardless of his uncle’s profession, what he did for them was amazing. A lot of people wouldn’t have taken that on. To watch as someone fights for their life, and sometimes watch as they slowly die? I can’t even imagine what that feels like. I don’t think any words could truly describe what patients and families go through.
“Okay, smartass, question time is over.”
“One more question tonight. What’s the deal with you and Eddie?” I’m normally a curious person and not knowing was driving me nuts. It was made worse by the fact Eddie had been noticeably absent from my life since I met Trayton.
He ran a hand through his hair. “The simple answer is he hates my father, so he hates me. Let’s leave it at that.” I didn’t want to, but I would for right now.
“Let’s go to bed.”
“Tray, I’m not staying here.” I really wanted to, but space was needed if I was going to get my head on straight. “I need to think...alone.”
“No. You’re going to stay here tonight, end of story,” he demanded. “You may wake up and realize this is all too much, which I wouldn’t blame you for.”
I stared at him, knowing full well I should run, but knowing I wasn’t going to… at least not yet. “Okay.”
He stood, holding out his hand. “Okay.” He pulled me up and intertwined our fingers then led me to his bedroom. It was just like the rest of the apartment, beautifully decorated. The color scheme changed from black and silver to a deep blue and silver. He had a king-sized bed in the middle of the room, which like all the furniture was made of dark wood. There were two doors to the right. One I could tell was a bathroom, so I’d guess the other was a closet.
He watched me as I ran my fingers over the coolness of the dresser, to see the few personal touches his apartment had. There were three simple black frames. One was of him and obviously his mother. “She was beautiful.”
He smiled, agreeing, “That she was.” I ran my finger over the next one. “That’s my cousin Ally. A complete pain in my side.” A pain he obviously loved. The next was a picture of Trayton, his cousin, and two others. “That’s my uncle and stepmom.”
I turned to face him. “No pictures of your dad?”
He let out a humorless chuckle. “No, like I said before we aren’t close.” He pulled a drawer out and handed me a t-shirt to change into.
I was mid-step to the bathroom when he stripped down to his boxers. I stood there momentarily stunned. I’d seen him shirtless before, but it didn’t get any less amazing. He smirked when he caught me. I rolled my eyes, not even attempting to deny it. “What? You know you’re easy on the eyes.”
“Glad to know you find me attractive.”
I smiled sweetly at him. “It’s about the only redeeming quality you have.”
He crossed his arms, a menacing smile taking over his face. “You’re going to pay for that one.”
I fake trembled, making my voice shaky. “I’m so scared. What are you going to do? Put me in time out?”
His grin went up a notch. “Nah, I was thinking more along the lines of spanking, you seemed to like it.”
My face turned bright red as I argued, “You wouldn’t dare.” Don’t know why I said that considering after the movies I knew he would.
“Admit you like me for more than my body.”
I tilted my head back and forth weighing my options. I could agree with him and save myself some grief, but that would only feed his ego. “Nuh-uh.”
“Five.”
My smartass mouth replied, “Four.”
“Three.”
The only other option I had was the bathroom, and I wasn’t sure I could make it. I had to go for it, though, because there was no way in hell I was going to let him win. I took a cautious step toward the bedroom door hoping to fool him.
His eyes lit with mischief as he challenged, “Don’t even try it. It’s only going to be worse if I have to catch you, and trust me I will.”
I took a deep breath and bolted to the bathroom door. I think I surprised him because he didn’t catch me until right before I closed the door. He grabbed me, throwing me over his shoulder. I was about to yell at him when he rendered me speechless by spanking me, hard.
“Trayton Russo!” I said in mock outrage.
“I warned you.” He smacked my butt once more before throwing me on the bed, making me bounce. “Now change your shirt, get under the covers, and go to sleep. I’m tired.”
My tone turned serious as I gave
him a mock salute. “Yes, sir.”
ALEX
The sunlight coming through the blinds woke me. I slowly sat up, rubbing sleepiness from my eyes. It took a minute to remember where I was, but when I did everything came back loud and clear. It felt like the air had been sucked from the room as his revelation played on repeat. Tray was in the mafia, or well, his family was. What am I supposed to do with that?
Even though he’d confirmed it, I was still having a hard time reconciling it. He could be intimidating and had a temper, but so did a lot of people. In my mind, someone who was funny and playful wasn’t a criminal. I know how incredibly naive that sounds. Especially since my brother is both of those, but he’ll never be a criminal to me.
I swung my legs over the edge of the bed, stretching as I stood. That was a train of thought I refused to go down. I had enough on my plate right now with Trayton. I didn’t need to drag my baggage into it. A small part of me felt like I should tell him about my family since he laid everything out for me. The bigger part of me wasn’t ready. I kept telling myself tomorrow. Tomorrow I’d deal with it. Tomorrow I’d work through everything. Tomorrow never happened, but I had an unsettling feeling that I’d have to deal with it sooner rather than later.
A soft knock on the door had my head turning to see Tray’s head poking into the room. “Hey, sleepyhead, about time you woke up. I made breakfast.”
I pulled on the hem of his t-shirt as I nodded. I wasn’t sure if I was tongue-tied because of last night’s revelation or because he stood in front of me in pajama bottoms, only pajama bottoms. I could feel the drool pooling in my mouth. He smiled and headed down the hall, leaving me with my thoughts which were headed straight for the gutter.
I sat down on the bed and put my head in my hands. What the hell was I going to do? He had ties to the mob, and I didn’t even jaywalk. The worst thing I did—that I could think of, was my slight road rage. Slight may be an understatement, but some people shouldn’t be behind the wheel, period. Anyway, the point was we were on two different sides of the spectrum.
As I was debating my criminal life, he called down the hall, “You coming?”
I took a deep breath and stood. No matter how much I wanted to, I couldn’t hide in here forever. I slowly made my way toward the kitchen, and by slowly I mean even a snail could have left me in the dust.
Without looking at me, he said, “The omelets are almost done. I made coffee if you want some.”
We didn’t say anything to each other while he finished cooking, while we ate, or when we cleaned up. I know he wanted me to say something first, but I didn’t know where to start. After the most awkward breakfast imaginable, I couldn’t take it anymore. “Listen, Trayton, right now I really don’t know what to say. I like you, most of the time anyway.” He softly chuckled. “I just need time to think.”
He linked our fingers, guiding me to the living room. “Alex, I get it. But I’m terrified if you walk out that door, I’ll never see you again.” He pulled me down onto his lap as he sat on the couch. “I know my lifestyle isn’t normal, but being associated with the mafia doesn’t change me as a person. I’m going to be their lawyer. How’s that any different than representing someone else?”
“Yeah, but your family is the mafia,” I stated in a duh attitude, because really. It was the freaking mafia!!
He tenderly placed his hands on my cheeks as he asked, “Doesn’t everyone have family drama?”
“I think yours counts as more than a little drama. My uncle Joey is incredibly competitive and has been known to start a fight or two at family functions, but I’m pretty sure he isn’t going to end up in prison for a nickel.”
“A nickel?”
He dropped his hands as I shrugged a shoulder. “What? I watch a lot of crime shows.”
He shook his head, a slight smile gracing his face momentarily. “Alex, I don’t know what you want me to say. I’m not the kind of guy who turns his back on his family.” I had to admit I loved that about him. “Even if I stayed in Texas and became a goat farmer, I’d still be in contact with them.”
I tried to hold back the snicker, “Goat farmer?”
A sheepish smile graced his face. “It was the first thing that popped in my head, but you’re missing the point.”
“No, I get your point. It’s just interesting that you want to be a goat farmer.”
He threw his hands up in the air, focusing on the ceiling. Probably praying for patience. My parents used to do that a lot. “I wanted a goat when I was little, sue me!”
I pinched his cheeks. “Awe, so cute.”
He slapped my hand away. “Shut it and stop changing the topic.”
“I’m not.” I so was. “I just think it’s cute you wanted a goat. I can just imagine little Tray begging for a goat. Where were you going to keep it? In your room? I bet you’d let it sleep with you, wouldn’t you?”
“Alexandria,” he warned and shook his head. “You have to understand that being with me means being at least somewhat involved with them.” And the fun is over.
“You make a lot of general statements when it comes to them. What exactly does that mean? Does it mean I’ll get hauled in for questioning? Read my rights?”
“Yes, at some point you may be questioned by the cops.” He popped his imaginary collar as a cocky smile crossed his face. “That’s when your sexier than should be allowed lawyer boyfriend comes into play.” I shoved his shoulder while trying not to smile at his cuteness. He wrapped a hand around my wrist, holding me to him. “It mostly means you’ll have to meet them, all of them. There’s also a very minuscule chance at some point you’d need a bodyguard.”
My hands flew into the air, palms out. “Whoa, whoa! Why in the world would I need a bodyguard? I’m not joining, right?” My heart rate accelerated, and my hands trembled. “I don’t have to do a blood oath, or go on a job or something, right?” The room started spinning as my mind raced. “I bet I have to commit a serious crime. I mean then they would know they could trust me. Please say it isn’t anything to do with fishes or cement.” I slid off his lap as I plucked at my shirt. Who turned up the heat?
He nodded, his face set in stone as he confirmed, “Yeah, there’s a whole initiation process you’ll have to go through.” Oh, good Lord, I was going to be sick. I bent at the waist, putting my head between my knees as I tried not to hyperventilate. “There’s also a class you have to take. There’s even an essay.”
I snapped my head up to glare at him. “You’re such a jerk!” I said as I hit him in the face with a pillow.
He had a hard time speaking because he was laughing so hard, but eventually he got it out. “I’m sorry. You’ve seriously got to cut back on the crime shows.”
I sucked in a breath and put my hand on my chest in disbelief. “Just the thought of giving up Morgan and Reed is sacrilegious.”
“Morgan and Reed? Who the hell are they?” I opened my mouth to say two of the sexiest men alive, but he kept going. “Never mind, I doubt I want to know. On a serious note, do you have any questions?” He grabbed my hips, moving me so I was straddling him. “I want this to work, but I want you to make sure you can handle it.”
“Isn’t this all a bit premature?”
“No. I like you, Alex, a lot. If we do this, I’m all in.”
“Oh.” All the sudden my hands were incredibly fascinating. “Tray,” I whispered.
He put his finger under my chin, lifting until our eyes met. “Yeah?”
“Why would I need a bodyguard?”
“So I’d know you’re safe, my uncle has made a lot of enemies.”
“Okay.”
“I’m really starting to not like that word. What does ‘okay’ mean this time?”
“It means I understand what you’re saying.”
“Why do I feel a but coming?”
“Maybe because you are one.” His hold tightened as I continued. “Stop interrupting me and let me finish. What you say makes perfect sense, and I get it. I just need
some time to think.” He closed his eyes for a second and nodded. “See there was no but.”
He didn’t even crack a smile as he rested his forehead against mine. “I don’t want to let you leave.”
“I know, but wouldn’t that be kidnapping?” I was trying to lighten the mood, but his mood stayed somber.
He took a deep breath as he placed me on my feet and stood. “Alright, let’s get you home.” He linked our hands together, leading me down the hallway to his room. Even in the seriousness of the moment, I reveled in how it felt when he touched me. Every single time a warming sensation flowed from wherever the contact was, even if it was a simple brush of skin against skin.
His back was to me as I pulled my jeans on. “I’m keeping this shirt.”
He turned so his torso was facing me. “I’m glad, I love seeing you in my clothes.” My inner romantic started jumping up and down with his ease of using the word love, regardless if it wasn’t directly about me. Once we were both dressed, he grabbed my hand and led me to his SUV.
The ride back was filled with nothing but weighted silence. The air in the car felt like it was physically pushing in on me, and the closer we got to my apartment the heavier it became. I willed him to say something, anything to relieve the tension, but he continued to focus on the road. He did, however, periodically bring the hand he never let go of to his mouth for a kiss.
When he pulled in front of my building, he put his SUV in park and turned it off. He kissed my hand again before bringing his uncertain eyes to my overwhelmed ones. “Angel, please don’t let this be the last time we talk.”