by L. M. Heidle
She scrutinized my face, searching to see if I was being honest. Whatever she saw had her nodding. “Okay. Sweet dreams.”
ALEX
I woke after a horrible night of sleep no closer to knowing what I wanted. That’s wrong. I knew I wanted to take the leap, but I just wasn’t sure I could. Ever since I met him, he hadn’t been far from my mind, but still part of me was holding back. I knew if I gave him a chance I’d fall. He made me feel excited, nervous, safe, and so much more. It’d been four years, and there were still days I barely kept it together, and if things didn’t work between us, I wasn’t sure what would happen. How much can a heart take before it permanently breaks?
In lieu of classes, I stared aimlessly out the window or at the TV for the majority of the day as my thoughts bounced from pros and cons of dating Trayton, to visiting my brother, and back to Trayton. It was only when my stomach growled that I realized I hadn’t eaten all day, and I was starving. I walked into the kitchen heading toward the fridge to grab my yogurt but stopped with my hand hovering above the handle. Normally I tried to eat healthy, but sometimes a girl needed a little sugar. Something that Lucky Charms had in spades, so I poured myself a humongous bowl…twice.
Around three in the morning, I made up my mind. I was tired of being scared. I was tired of letting my past rule me. College was a place to find oneself, and that was impossible to do if you didn’t put yourself out there. Trayton and I may not work out, but like they say the best things in life come with a risk.
So I was going for it, and with that decision, a tiny bit more of the wall crumbled. Slowly, but surely I was taking back my life.
TRAYTON
I’d tried everything I could think of to distract myself today. I’d punched the bag until blood seeped through my wraps. I had run so many miles I wasn’t sure how I was standing. I even hit the gun range for three hours. It gave me momentary relief, but my mind always wandered back to her. This wasn’t me. I wasn’t some pathetic, weak, whipped man.
I hated her a little for making me feel weak, for making me need her. I’d never needed anyone before. It had long since passed physical attraction. I mean hell yeah I still wanted her, how could I not? She had curves in all the right places and lips made for sin. Mainly, though, I loved how easy it was to be around her, how relaxing it was. I shook my head as I headed to the bathroom. She was turning me into a chick flick.
I turned on the shower to wash the sweat off and tried to relax my spasming muscles. I would give a guy hell if I heard him saying what I was thinking, but no matter how pathetic it was I wouldn’t disregard my feelings. I’d adopted my uncle’s motto to expressing feelings. If it’s a business matter, you stay stoic as to show no emotion. Otherwise, you’ll be seen as weak, and weakness can be a death sentence. If it’s a private family matter, never hesitate in showing your feelings. It’s important to make sure your loved ones know they are loved every day you’re together.
I’d stayed in the shower until the water was ice cold, my mind racing with plans on how to keep her and stay loyal to my family. Unfortunately, I wasn’t any closer to a plan than when I’d gotten into the shower, so I was back to waiting. I’d been accused of being a lot of things in my life, but being patient wasn’t one of them. She’d asked for time, and I wanted to respect that, but I wasn’t sure how long I could hold out.
I climbed out of my shower, water dripping on the floor as I grabbed my phone from the bathroom counter just to make sure I hadn’t missed her call. I swiped the screen and smiled when I saw her sleeping face. I’d taken that picture the first night we spent together, and it's been my home screen since then. Seeing her beautiful face didn’t deter the disappointment I felt when I saw she hadn’t called. I set the phone down and dried off, hoping sleep would be possible.
It was three am when my phone woke me from a pathetic attempt at sleep. I’d tossed and turned so much my comforter and sheets were sprawled out on the floor. I had answered the call before the first ring ended. I didn’t care how desperate it seemed, it only mattered that she was calling.
“Hey, angel.”
“Hey you, I missed you today.”
“I missed you, too.” I’d never understood the saying that silence was deafening until now. It went against every fiber of my being, but I waited for her to speak. I needed to know her true feelings. If we were going to do this, she had to accept me, family and all. “You’ll only be their lawyer?”
My breath left me in one giant whoosh. “Yeah, angel."
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Yeah, okay.”
“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”
“If you think I’m saying you should get over here and kiss me, then yes, that’s what I’m saying.”
“Give me ten minutes.”
“I was kidding, it’s late.”
“Nope, sorry. You gave me permission to kiss you, and there’s no way I’m turning that down.”
“Good, that was a test, and you passed.”
“Be ready when I get there.” I hung up and was out the door within seconds. I drove at least ten over the speed limit, my fingers drumming on the steering wheel the entire way.
She was waiting for me outside her apartment building, and as soon as the car was in park she was running to me. I put my hands on her hips and picked her up when she reached me. She wrapped her legs around my waist closing her eyes as she waited for a kiss. A kiss I desperately wanted to give her, but I needed to be sure first. She tilted her head as she opened her eyes, the hooded desire slowly replaced by a furrowed brow and questioning eyes. “Angel, I need to know this is what you want, because once my lips touch yours, there’s no going back, you’re mine.”
“Would you shut up and kiss me already?” I tightened my hold on her hips as I turned so her back was pressed against the car. She let out a whimper as I moved my mouth to her neck, kissing lightly. The whimper was replaced with a soft groan as I brought my lips back to hers, making sure she knew who she belonged to. She was mine, nothing or no one was going to change that. We may have a long road ahead of us, and we’d definitely have arguments and trials. I knew as long as I had her every second of turmoil would be worth it.
ALEX
I loved the feeling of waking up cradled in his arms. Everything from the warmth of his body enveloping mine to the feeling of complete contentment, made me consider skipping class. The only thing that stopped me was that I had skipped yesterday. I didn’t need more work to make up than I already had. Growing up and being responsible seriously sucked sometimes.
I wasn’t kidding myself, I knew a relationship with him wasn’t going to be easy. I had serious trust issues, not to mention his family. The amazing thing about us was when we were together the outside world didn’t exist. Therefore, none of the problems did either.
He rolled me onto my back, hovering over me. He leaned down kissing my forehead. “Unless you’re concentrating on how sexy and irresistible I am, you can stop. I told you last night, you’re mine.”
I shoved his shoulder, moving him nowhere. Stupid muscular man. “Someone’s ego doesn’t need stroking this morning. If you must know, I was thinking about how perfect this feels.”
“It’d be even more perfect if you went back to sleep.”
I raised my arms above my head, stretching as I sat up, and begrudgingly crawled out from under him. The second I left the comfort of his arms the room felt chilly. “As much as I would love that, I have class to get ready for.”
He reached for my arm, dragging me back to bed. “Skip,” he mumbled against my neck as he kissed a path down it.
I couldn’t stop the soft moan that left my lips. “I can’t,” I breathlessly replied.
“Sure you can,” he said as he started kissing up the side of my neck. “We could lie here all day just like this.” My mind wavered as he whispered in my ear, “You know you want to.”
My agreement was on the tip of my tongue when the image of me buri
ed under textbooks flashed through my mind. Stupid subconscious. “I can’t.” I untangled myself from him as I backed out of bed. “There’s no way I can miss Geography.”
“There’s some geography I’d like to learn.” He reached for me again, but I took another step back. He sighed as he flopped onto his back, putting his arm over his eyes. “I could find a way to make you stay.”
No doubt in my mind he wouldn’t have to try very hard. “You won’t, though.”
He moved his arm, twisting his neck to face me. “I hate that you’re right.”
I walked over to the bed giving his lips a quick peck. “Such a good guy.”
Before I could step back, his hands grabbed my hips, pulling me onto the bed so I was straddling him. “Sorry, I’m gonna need more than that.” The next second his lips covered mine and the only thought running through my head was he better not stop.
When he finally pulled back, my hands rested on his shoulders as I tried to ground myself. I don’t know if it was from lack of oxygen or just the effect he had on me, but the room was spinning out of control. Or...it’s possible the lightheadedness came from my hands roaming his bare chest, because W-O-W. I’d never tire of seeing his broad shoulders, muscular biceps, defined abdomen, or the drool-worthy V.
“Ahem.” I let my eyes slowly drift up his body until I was staring into his. “Don’t you have a ridiculously early class to get ready for?”
My eyes darted to my alarm clock: 7:30 am. Crap! Guess I was skipping my shower if I wanted to make it to class on time. I scrambled out of bed shouting, “This is all your fault!” I grabbed some clothes from the closet and sprinted to my bathroom, where I tried to put on jeans and a t-shirt simultaneously.
“How’s this my fault?” he yelled through the door.
I poked my head out. “You’re the one who just had to come over last night.”
“I seem to remember it differently.”
I shook my head and in mock seriousness said, “You should see a doctor. Memory loss at your age isn’t good.”
I started to shut the door, but his foot stopped me. He pushed it open, causing me to shuffle backward. “Is that right?” I nodded as I bumped the counter with my butt. “I’ll show you something I haven’t forgotten.” He leaned down, his lips softly touching mine, causing a tingling sensation. A sensation that slowly turned to warmth as it spread throughout my body. When he pulled back, the tingling and warmth that had built went with him. I hated that it always did that.
My eyes stayed closed as I tightened my grip on his biceps. “We should do that again, just to make sure it wasn’t a fluke.”
He didn’t bring his lips back to mine but moved them to whisper in my ear. “Sorry, you’ve got class.” You’ve got to be kidding me! I glared at him as he pulled back, grinning from ear to ear. “Need a ride?”
My eyes darted to the clock on the wall, 7:40 am. Not only did I not have time for a shower, but I’d be at least ten minutes late if I walked. I slid past him to grab a hat to cover my unwashed hair. “It’s the least you can do.” I picked my messenger bag up off the floor, throwing in a couple books from the desk. “You’re the reason I’m late after all.”
TRAYTON
After dropping Alex off at class, I drove back to my apartment planning on a shower and possibly a nap. I walked through the front door, throwing my keys on the kitchen counter as I grabbed a bottle of water.
I’d barely taken the cap off the bottle when my phone rang. My first thought was maybe Alex got out of class early. The fact that we’d been apart less than an hour and I immediately reached for my keys intending to pick her up, led me to one conclusion. I was screwed.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t Alex, but my uncle. “Hey, old man.”
He chuckled. “How many times do I have to tell you to cut it with the old man?” He really wasn’t that old, but bustin’ his balls was fun.
“At least once more.”
“Yeah, I’m sure that’s all it’ll take, so have you talked to that girl?”
“Yes.”
“Yes, that’s it? What happened?”
A sick feeling settled into my stomach. Nothing good could come from him asking questions, nothing at all. “Did you need something or did you just call to gossip like an old woman?”
“Trayton, watch your attitude.” My fingers started twitching because I hated being told what to do. “You’re still coming home for spring break, right?”
I ran a hand through my hair as disappointment set in. I’d completely forgotten I’d promised Vivian I’d come home. I hated going back on my promise, but a whole week of freedom from school? There’s no telling what trouble Alex and I could get into. “I’m not sure what I’m doing.”
“Let me rephrase that: You’re coming home for spring break. I need you here. Your cousin is driving me crazy.”
“Need me huh? She’s sixteen, what can she possibly be doing to drive you crazy?”
“Remember when she used to constantly say, ‘Are we there yet?”
Did I ever. There were several times I’d threatened to leave her alongside the road because she wouldn’t shut up. It wasn’t only when we were on vacation either. We could be going to the grocery store five minutes from the house, and she’d say it at least three times. “Yeah.”
“She’s doing it again, only, this time, it’s asking when you’re coming home. I swear on my mother’s grave if she doesn’t stop I’m going to ship her down to you.” I heard the usual squeak of his leather chair as he sat down in his office. He may be the Kingpin of the underworld, but since Lucia died he’d slowly started staying home more and more.
I had to laugh at his absurdity because there was no way he’d let her out of his sight, even if it was to join me. I took a long swig from the water bottle as I weighed my options. “I don’t know what my plans are. I need to check with Alex.”
“Bring her with you.” Have my girlfriend meet my very loud, very crazy family mere weeks after getting together? Yeah, that didn’t have disaster written all over it. “It’ll save me a trip down.”
I sat down on a bar stool, leaning my head onto the cold marble. “I don’t know if she’s ready for that.”
“Nonsense, I’ll tell Alyssa you’re coming with a guest.” Before I could get a word out, he hung up. He knew damn well I couldn’t turn down Alyssa any better than he could. The throbbing behind my eyes and the roaring in my ears started at the thought of dealing with Hurricane Alyssa. That girl lived for gossip, and my personal life, or lack of, was one of her favorite topics. There was no doubt in my mind she was going to drive me crazy until I came home. It’d be even worse if I didn’t bring Alex. So thanks to my uncle I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. Deal with Alyssa or beg Alex to go home with me.
I flinched as the sound of my phone ringing caused the throbbing to escalate. The pain started radiating down my jaw as I hit ignore and headed for the medicine cabinet. Simple Tylenol wasn’t going to cut it this time. I needed my Fiorinal.
The pounding in my head grew with every prescription bottle that wasn’t what I needed. Amoxicillan. HydrOXYzine. Dicyclomine. Metroclopramide. Where the hell was it? Five more bottles hit the floor, each sounding like a gunshot as it ricocheted off the floor before I found it. I popped the top off, dumping two pills onto my palm. I threw them back, followed by a swig of water.
I cringed as my phone rang again. I swear if I wasn’t a pansy hoping Alex would call I’d turn the stupid thing off. I looked to see ‘Ally Cat’ flashing across my screen. I groaned and sent it to voicemail. I’d rather have an organ removed without anesthesia than answer that call. I needed to figure out how I was going to convince Alex to go with me before I dealt with my cousin.
I said screw the shower and went to the bedroom. I pulled all the blinds, silently thanking whoever created black out blinds, before falling into bed. Thankfully the medication was taking the edge off, so maybe I’d get some sleep.
TRAYTON
My cousin�
�s annoying voice singing, ‘It’s me pick up the phone. Trayton, stop ignoring me’ ringtone woke me. I sent her to voicemail again as I slowly woke up. A glance at the time showed I’d slept for three hours. The migraine had downgraded to a headache, which I could handle.
I crawled out of bed heading for the bathroom, ignoring my phone again. Apparently, she forewent paying attention in class to annoy the hell out of me. It was no wonder she was flunking Algebra. After a quick shower, I threw on a t-shirt and a pair of faded jeans. I moved to the kitchen, grabbing an apple off the counter. I ignored Alyssa’s phone call once more, this time putting it on vibrate.
I checked the time on my phone before rushing out the door. If I hurried, I could catch Alex between classes. I’d peeked at her planner when she was getting dressed, so I knew she had an hour break between classes.
I groaned as my phone vibrated. You’d think getting sent to voicemail every time would be a hint, but this girl was relentless. I had one foot in the elevator when I smelled her. I looked up to see my next door neighbor, Mrs. Rose. She was a widow and the sweetest lady I’d ever met, but she lived up to her name. She always had an overpowering smell of roses surrounding her. Put that and a headache in an elevator? I’d either die of suffocation, or my migraine would come back with force.
I gave her a smile as I backed up. “Shoot, I forgot my phone.”
She frowned at me. “Watch your mouth, young man.”
I snickered, “Yes ma’am. I’ll see you later, Mrs. Rose.”
“Come over for tea tomorrow. My niece is coming, and I’d like you to meet her.” Another of Mrs. Rose’s unfavorable qualities. She believed she was a matchmaker.
“Sorry, Mrs. Rose. Not sure my girlfriend would like that, but say hello to your niece for me.” I spun on my heel, walking toward my door. When the elevator doors closed, I took a left opening the stairwell. Walking down ten flights of stairs sucked, but it was without a doubt better than the elevator. I pushed through the parking lot door when my phone went off again, which I ignored.