by Ruby Dixon
“Well, while you keep them busy, I’m going to grab my tea bag,” I say, and head to the far corner of the cave where, theoretically, stuff should be neatly stored and is instead stacked messily. I’m not much of a housekeeper and with infant twins? That idea went right out the window.
“Take your time,” she murmurs.
I do, straightening a few things and chatting with her as I tidy up. Eventually, I grab my tea bag and several bowls and dump the lot onto a sorting skin. Tea’s a big deal with the sa-khui. There’s no soda fountain, no coffee, no nothing to drink but water, so they’re experts at flavoring things with tea and know just what leaves to use to get the best flavors. Me, not so much. They just look like piles of leaves to my inexpert eye. “So like, what are the best flavors that go together?”
“Which flavors do you like?” Her voice is dreamy. I glance over and her expression is soft with longing as she holds my children. “I am jealous of you, you know. You have two and I have none.” Her eyes are curiously shiny.
“Mmm.” I sort through the leaves, doing my best to ignore the twinge of unease her words stir in me. “I hope this isn’t a prelude to you deciding to snatch one of them.” There’s nothing but silence at my joke, and I look up to see her aghast expression. “Oooor maybe that’s just a human thing?”
“Humans steal the kits of other humans?” She looks horrified. “Why?”
“Because they want one? I don’t know. Some people aren’t well.” The look on her face makes me feel better, though. I guess it never occurred to her. Gosh, sometimes I love this ice planet for being so darn simple and uncomplicated.
“I would never take your kits, No-rah.” There’s a wounded note in her voice.
“Oh, I know you won’t, Asha. I’m just messing with you. Now which tea leaves make a really good breakfast flavor?” I hope she’ll take the hint for the topic change.
But her expression doesn’t change. “Your kits are beautiful, but I miss mine.” She holds Anna, tucked under her chin, and closes her eyes for a long, long moment. “My Shamalo did not live to have her khui. She was too small at birth.” Her sad eyes blink open. “Now I have nothing.”
Jeez, she’s going to make me cry. I reach over and pat her knee. “You have your mate.”
She snorts. Her eyes roll with disgust. “I do not want him. Not now, not ever. If there is no kit to be made, I would not care if I never saw him again.”
Ouch. “Well, look on the bright side. If he’s out hunting for long periods of time, you won’t miss him like I miss my mate.”
“It is not an easy time,” she agrees.
“And having two babies doesn’t help things,” I say glumly, picking up a dried leaf and then tossing it aside. “Nora can’t exactly get her groove back if Nora’s mate isn’t around.”
“Groof?”
I wave a hand. “Nothing. I’m just whining and lonely.”
“He will not touch you?” Asha asks, the expression on her face shrewd. “Is that what groof means?”
“Something like that.” Now I’m embarrassed I brought it up.
“Did you ask him to touch you?”
Her blunt words make me blush. “I shouldn’t have to ask after I had his kids, should I?”
“You are tired. He is tired. Perhaps he thinks you are too tired for his cock.”
Okay, now I really am blushing. “Maybe a girl wants to be chased a little.”
“Why?” Now Asha looks genuinely puzzled. “If you want to mate, tell him so. Dagesh is like any other male - he will be more than happy to mate if a female asks.”
“Yes, but…” I cast around for the right way to explain it. “Humans are different. We like to be courted. We like for our man to say sweet words and do nice things for us to show us how much he wants us.”
“Why?” She looks confused. “You are resonance mates. Of course he wants you.”
It occurs to me that if Asha doesn’t get why I want my man to flirt with me, it’s probably likely that Dagesh doesn’t get it, either. Maybe it’s like she says, and he’s waiting for me to roll over and say “Dick, please!” for him to get the hint. Theoretically, that should be easy enough to do…except I just had twins and I’m not feeling my sexiest.
But I miss my mate. I miss the closeness we’ve had and the comfort of his arms. Okay, then. I’m going to have to suck it up and ask for dick. Maybe it’s time for a game plan - a sexy, low-cut tunic, doing something with my hair, even some perfume. I could make myself pretty and available and maybe he’ll get the hint. I finger my grown-out highlights. They’re hideous, but haircuts haven’t been high on my to-do list like napping and, well, napping. “Maybe I’ll do something with my hair.”
She shrugs.
I toy with my strands for a moment longer, and then look over at her. “I don’t suppose you’d want to watch the babies tonight for me? Just for a few hours?”
“So you can demand cock from your mate?” Her eyes gleam with amusement.
Man, we are really going to have to teach these sa-khui a few more delicate euphemisms. I pick up a leaf and twirl it, trying to imagine the set-up for tonight’s seduction. “Something like that, yeah.”
Asha nods. “I will watch them. Also, you should not drink tea from that leaf.”
I look at it more closely now. “Why?”
“It is used for a tea that makes loose stools.” She pats Anna’s back. “A belly cleanse. Very strong.”
I see several of the leaves mixed in with the rest of mine. “Probably a good thing you’re here, then.”
She laughs. “Probably.”
DAGESH
Today was an excellent hunt. My back, my bones and my muscles ache as I hike the trails back to the tribal cave. All day I have hauled dvisti into a new cache and marked it. It was a great deal of food, but there is always more to be done, and there are always more dvisti. As I dragged the last of the half-frozen carcasses to the cache, I saw another herd in the distance, heading toward the mountains. It is a large herd, and it would be smart to follow after them and trim their numbers.
But that is for tomorrow. I could head after them tonight, but I am full of longing to see my mate and my kits. Even if they are sleeping, just seeing their faces will be enough. Every day, I must remind myself what I work for. It is for my No-rah and our little ones. It is so they smile through the long brutal season and do not cry with hunger.
By the time I make it to my cave, I am slow with exhaustion. My No-rah has been busy - the furs are straightened and the baskets re-organized. The fire is not banked for sleep despite the late hour, but the coals are burning low, a sign that it has not been tended. Curled up in the furs is my mate, her cheek resting on her hand. I smile at the sight of her, so lovely, and then move to the kits’ baskets.
They are…empty. Their blankets are flat, no little blue babies with yellow hair inside them.
Raw terror clutches at my chest. Where are my girls? Where are Ah-nah and Ehl-sah? I touch the furs to make sure my eyes do not deceive me, and then rush to No-rah’s side. “Wake! Ah-nah and Ehl-sah! They are gone—“
“Mmm,” No-rah says sleepily. She sits up and her tunic falls over her shoulder, exposing most of one full breast. “The babies? Oh, I had Asha take them tonight.”
“Asha?” I repeat, not sure I have heard correctly. “Hemalo’s Asha?”
“I don’t think she wants to be his,” No-rah says sleepily. “But yes. Was I asleep? I’m sorry. I was only going to nap for a moment…” Her voice trails off into a yawn. “Man, that was a great nap, though.”
Relief pours through me and I begin to relax. I sit down next to my mate and rub my face, yawning as well. “I did not see the kits,” I murmur. “I panicked—“
“It’s all right,” No-rah soothes. Her hands pull at my tunic, undoing the laces, and hers is still hanging low over one shoulder. Her breast gleams pale in the firelight and my cock stiffens in response. Her cool fingers smooth over my skin and my hands ache to touch her.
I gasp, touching her locks. Before, she had yellow hair below her shoulders but now it is gone. Nothing but the soft brown remains. “Your mane!”
She touches her hair. “Do you like it?”
“It is gone!”
Her face falls. “Is that a no?”
“It is just…why did you cut it?”
“It was all grown out,” No-rah says, and I do not know what that means. “I didn’t like the way it looked.”
The look on her face is wary, and I caress her cheek. “You are lovely, no matter what you do to your hair.” I cannot help but eye it thoughtfully. So strange.
She pats my shoulder and helps me shrug off my filthy tunic. “I’ll wash this for you tomorrow. Are you staying in? The other hunters take a day off every now and then, you know.”
I think of the big herd of dvisti heading toward the mountains. “I must go out and hunt,” I tell her. “There is a new herd close by and it will be much meat.”
No-rah sighs. “If you must.” She moves closer to me, and her full breast brushes against my arm. I bite back my groan of lust. It has been many moons since I claimed my mate, but the last thing I want to do is grab at her when she clearly needs sleep. “How about I give you a massage because you’ve been working so hard?”
“Mah-sashzh?” I do not know this word; I do not even think I can say it.
She gives me a little, flirty smile. “I’ll rub your back for you. It feels good. And then after that, maybe we’ll play a little.” Her finger trails seductively down my stomach.
“I like this idea,” I tell her, cock aching. I watch her with fascinated eyes as she gets to her knees and then pats the furs. I lie down and then a moment later, she puts her hands on me.
And then I cannot help the groan that escapes. As she starts to rub, all the aches and worries of the day ebb. I close my eyes as her hands glide over my skin, pressing against sore muscle and bruised tissue. “I had a good day today,” she says in her soft, sweet voice. “Asha came by and helped me with the babies. I wasn’t sure what to think at first, but I really like her.”
“Mmm?” My mind is in a pleasant fog, drifting. This is something from a dream - my sweet, sexy mate rubbing her hands on my body, me lying down in the furs as she tends to my aches. Her words continue, but I lose focus. I am so very weary.
I will just close my eyes for a moment.
NORA
Well, shit.
Sexy massage? It backfired. Big time. I gaze down at my mate, who is sound asleep and snoring, his mouth open on my pillow. I…can’t even be mad. He’s so exhausted. Operation: Sexy Time will just have to wait for another day. I lie down on the furs next to him, wrap an arm around his waist, and decide to sneak a nap myself.
“I don’t understand it,” I complain to Asha the next morning as we sort through more tea. She’s brought several pouches of her own stash and we’re combining flavors while the babies sit on a nearby fur and flail their arms happily. “I know he loves me. I know he loves the babies. But every time I suggest he stay home and relax, he ignores it and rushes right back out the door to go hunting again.”
Asha plucks a dried twist of leaves from my hand and places it in the section that we’ve marked off as ‘medicines’. Whoops. I really, really don’t have an eye for this sort of thing. “It is fear.”
“Fear?” I echo. “Fear of what?”
She gives me a look. “Fear of failing you. There are none of us in the tribe that have not experienced a brutal season where bellies went empty. That is probably why he hunts so much. He has you, and he has his kits to feed. And I have known Dagesh for a long time. He is very….” She hums, trying to think of the right word. “Devoted.”
I nod slowly. My baby is super responsible. He’s given some tasks that others won’t do, just because Vektal knows he’ll give two hundred percent. I think of Dagesh and I feel guilty. Here I’ve been resenting the fact that he’s out the door before the sun rises, leaving me alone with two small children, and he’s probably been going through an entirely different kind of pressure. I think Asha’s right — he feels an intense need to hunt enough to take care of us. He’s been without family for a long time; I know from late night conversations in the furs that his mother died not long after he was born and his father died in the terrible khui sickness. I think he’s making himself crazy trying to please everyone.
My poor Dagesh. He’s trying so hard. I feel a surge of love for him. His fear is understandable, but it’s not going to help if he runs himself into the ground trying to take care of everyone and everything. He has to realize that there needs to be some balance, and that we’re not going to starve to death the moment he turns his back. Is there a concern over a food shortage? Sure, but everyone else is hunting just a little more, not hunting twenty-four-seven. Everyone else’s mates take a day off to spend with their families. My sweet, obsessed mate needs to put his spear down for a day or two and relax. It would be different if we hated each other like Asha and Hemalo. Then, I wouldn’t mind if he disappeared all day every day. But the truth is…I miss him. I ache for him - not just his body but his smile, his warmth, his presence, his touch, his unwavering support.
I look over at Asha again. “How would you feel about watching the babies for me again?”
Asha goes very still. “You…trust me?”
“Of course. Why wouldn’t I? You’ve been so wonderful to help me the past few days.” I smile at her so she knows I’m not pulling her leg.
Her own smile slowly blossoms across her face. “I would love to.” She leans over and lifts a flailing Anna off the blanket and holds her close. “They are such good kits.”
Are they? That might change when she’s been around them for a full evening, but I can’t disagree - I like to think they’re special, too. “I know I’ll have to feed them so you can come interrupt, of course, but just a few hours of alone time with my mate would be absolutely wonderful.”
“Say no more,” Asha replies. “I will watch them and come to you only if they need to eat. You should convince your mate he needs to rest.”
“That’s the game plan.”
“I think the plan is to get your groof back.”
Heck yeah, it is. I’m totally getting my groof back. I laugh and toss a few leaves into a pouch. Nora’s groof is totally scheduled to come back tonight.
DAGESH
I do not make it back to the tribal caves for several days in a row. The snows fall thick, like a cascading mane, and I cannot see my hand in front of me. I am confined to my hunter cave for two sunrises and then when I can finally emerge, I must go and re-mark the trees that I have left caches at to ensure that they can be found when the snows get higher. By the third sunset, I am on my way back to the tribal cave when a pair of hoppers cross my path and so I hunt them down, too. My mate will have fresh meat tonight. It is something I can be proud of, at least, though I worry over the days missed. I hate that the storms caught me away from the cave - if I had to spend two days lounging around a fire, could I not have done it with my mate in my arms? A burst of longing rushes through me and I think of No-rah and her happy smile. I think of the tufts of yellow mane on my two kits. I miss them all so fiercely it is like a pain in my chest. It makes me walk faster through the snow-covered trails and sloping hills, because I need to see them.
I try to keep the worry from my mind as I hike back, but it has been too long. Anything can happen in three full sunrises. What if the tribal cave has been buried by thick snow and no one can get out? What if metlaks have descended upon the caves and attacked my No-rah while she left to gather herbs? What if Ah-nah - who is always crying - has khui sickness and Maylak cannot heal her? What if No-rah’s milk has dried entirely and the kits cannot be fed? Worried thoughts rush through my head like water until I am running back at full speed, desperate to see my family. I need to hear my No-rah’s laugh, I need to touch my daughters on their fat, blue cheeks and mak
e sure they are well.
When I return, Bek is in front of the tribal cave, yawning and leaning against the cliff wall. He looks bored. I know he has guard duty, but the sight of him lounging while I have been hunting tirelessly to feed my family? It does not sit well with me. He rouses himself from the wall as I approach, giving me a cocky look. “Decide to return finally?”
As if I had a choice? “If you are going to guard,” I bite out, “Try being alert. I do not think a metlak would tap you on the shoulder to wake you if it attacks.”
Flustered, he flicks his head, as if he wants to charge at me and lock horns. My tail flicks angrily and I brandish my horns back at him. He wishes a fight? I will give him one.
Bek’s jaw clenches as he approaches me slowly, fists tight. He lifts his chin at me. “I am going to ignore your words and let you pass to see your mate, because we are friends.”
I glare at him but he only taps a hand on my arm and then walks away. “If you still wish to fight in the morning, come see me.”
I am tempted to do so simply from that arrogant comment. But I know Bek. I have grown up with him. He is like me — we are not thinkers, we are doers. I have insulted him, he has insulted me with his arrogance, and we must snarl at each other. My weary mind tells me this, even as my tail lashes back and forth, my body still ready to fight.
A female laugh echoes from inside the cave and I jerk around, reminded that I am close to my mate. Close to my kits. Close to all my females. My family. I have no time to fool around with Bek like two hard-headed dvisti stallions. “I will deal with you another day,” I tell him.
He snorts, reminding me of an angry dvisti after all. “Go chase your female. I will be here, doing my duty.” His voice is sour. “I have nothing else to go home to.”
There is a bitter ring to his words, and I realize he is right. He has nothing and I have my mate and my family waiting for me. I do not need to spend time here fighting with him. A slow smile spreads across my face.