“No, I’m not going to say a word to him. He’ll know exactly where we stand when he walks through his door after he gets back home from wherever he and his whore were going so early this morning.” Tess let his call roll over to her voice mail once again, and after a few seconds a loud beep signaled that unlike the first time he’d called, this time he left a message.
Tess dialed the number she’d been wanting and needing to call all morning. She propped herself up on her elbows, feeling content to let Antwan’s message float into her voice mail box beside the other six missed calls and several text messages from friends and family, all wishing her Happy Birthday.
Chapter 3
ARIZONA
Present Day
Two years, two months, and two days had led to this moment. It was time. Arizona Mays and Chris Pendleton were about to break their vow of abstinence.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Chris asked.
Arizona took a deep breath and nodded. “Yes, Chris, I’m sure. I’ve been thinking about this for a very long time and I’m ready. More than ready.”
They kissed as they always did, but this time instead of keeping their midsections at a safe distance—so as not to awaken carnal desires—they moved in close, allowing their bodies to fold into one another. This kind of physical intimacy was routine for most couples, but it was unexplored territory for Arizona and Chris. They had each taken a vow of celibacy a few years before they’d met at their church’s singles retreat. They had both survived bad relationships that had led them to ask God to send them a helpmate whom they would marry, and until that time they would remain chaste.
“In that case, let’s do this right.” Chris placed a gentle kiss onto Arizona’s forehead and took her hand into his as he rose from the couch. “My king-size bed is waiting for my queen,” he said with a sexy smile.
Arizona lovingly smiled back and followed her fiancé into his bedroom. This was the only room in Chris’s neatly organized three-bedroom ranch-style home that Arizona normally avoided, but tonight she gladly entered, allowing him to guide her to what she knew would be a memorable evening filled with intense pleasure and passion. She glanced over at the solid red comforter covering the bed and thought about the fact that she and Chris would soon be under his sheets.
Arizona’s mind raced with anticipation, but in the midst of her thoughts she suddenly felt a stab of insecurity. It had been more than five years since any man had seen her naked, and now here she was, about to reveal every lump, bump, and imperfection that until this moment she’d not given much thought to. And even though she knew that Chris accepted her size 20 figure, anxiety and embarrassment clung to her like the extra pounds she’d become all too aware of.
“Baby, are you okay?” Chris asked with concern.
Arizona nodded and tried to paint on a smile. “Yes, I’m fine.”
Chris looked deeply into her eyes. “Arizona, I know every inch of you and every expression you make, so I know when something’s wrong. You’re uneasy and you’re having second thoughts.”
“Chris, I want to make love to you . . .”
Chris placed a finger to her lips to silence her, then pulled her in close to his body. “Baby, I told you, we don’t have to do this. We only have six more months until I’m your husband and you’re my wife, and if you want to wait until then, we’ll wait.”
Arizona looked into her fiancé’s piercing eyes and knew that he meant every word he’d just spoken. She was thankful for a man like Chris. Not only was he kind, honest, giving, loyal, and a good God-fearing man, he was fine looking. At six foot four inches tall, with muscles that could have belonged to a professional athlete, Chris’s body was chiseled. His milk chocolate–colored skin was velvety smooth and his full lips gave his handsome face a sexy allure. A less confident woman would have been intimidated dating a man like Chris, but Arizona knew her worth. She was attractive, smart, loving, supportive, and caring, and she knew she would make a good and faithful wife. But she also knew her shortcomings, and she considered her weight to be close to the top of that list. She was disappointed in the fact that she’d let herself go after Solomon had been born. Late-night snacking, fast food meals on the go, and no structured exercise routine had contributed to seventy pounds that had made her once-svelte body a thing of the past.
“Chris, I love you and I’ve . . . we’ve been waiting for this moment for so long.”
“And we can wait a little longer. I want you to be ready and comfortable. And besides,” Chris said with a slight chuckle, “we did take a vow of celibacy, and then we upped the ante when we signed our premarital covenant as part of our counseling with Reverend Crestwood.”
Arizona nodded in agreement. She knew that Chris was right and that the promise they’d made meant something. But she also knew that the sensation between her legs was like an itch that needed to be scratched, and that Chris could take care of that need. She looked into his eyes. “I’m going to be honest with you, Chris.”
“Please do,” he replied, staring back at Arizona.
Arizona took a step back away from Chris and looked down at the floor and then over to his bed. “I’m self-conscious about my weight.”
“What?”
“I’m hesitant because of my weight . . . and the way my body looks.”
Chris gave Arizona a puzzled look. “Baby, I’m not following you.”
Arizona let out a hard sigh and moved her eyes back to his. “Do I have to spell it out? Don’t you get it?”
“Yes and no.”
“Chris, I’m overweight. My love handles have love handles. I have stretch marks, cellulite, and I have absolutely no muscle tone anywhere on my body.” Arizona went on to tell him that she felt self-conscious about him seeing her naked, and that that was the real reason she didn’t want to make love to him.
Chris reached out, put his long arm around Arizona’s waist, and pulled her back in to him. “I want you to listen carefully to what I’m about to say.”
Arizona nodded.
“When I met you, you were the size you are right now. When I fell in love with you, your size didn’t change. When I asked you to marry me, I don’t think your scale moved. And standing here, with you now, you’ve remained unchanged . . . right?”
Arizona nodded again.
“But there is one thing that has changed, and that’s my love for you . . . it’s grown. I love everything about you, Arizona Mays, and that includes your beautiful, voluptuous body. Looks are temporary, but what’s in here,” he pointed to her heart, “and in here,” he pointed to her head, “is what matters to me. I love your caring heart and I appreciate your intelligence. You’re a combination of beauty and brains.”
Arizona smiled bashfully. “You’re just saying that because you want to get laid.”
“No doubt, I do,” Chris said, causing them both to let out a small laugh. “But you know that what I just said is true.”
Arizona felt like pinching herself to make sure this moment was real. She knew that Chris was a good man. A thoughtful man. A considerate man. And a complete gentleman. She couldn’t believe how blessed she was to have a genuinely good man like Chris, and she said a quick prayer thanking God for sending her her Boaz. “Yes,” Arizona replied. “I know what you said is true, Chris. And I love everything about you, too.”
Arizona stood on the tips of her toes and kissed her fiancé deeply and passionately. “Let’s do this.”
Arizona looked over at the alarm clock on Chris’s nightstand. To her amazement the bright neon light read 10:30 p.m. Only one hour had passed since she and Chris had finished making love, but Arizona felt as though an entire day had come and gone. She glanced over at Chris, who was lying on his side, facing her with a peaceful, satisfied expression stretched across his face.
Arizona eased out of bed and walked across the room to Chris’s large master bathroom. She turned on the light, shut the door, and sat on the edge of the bathtub. Panic rose up inside her body as she
replayed her and Chris’s lovemaking. She dropped her head into her hands and wanted to sob. “Is this my punishment for being disobedient and breaking our premarital covenant?” she whispered. She stood up and paced back and forth in quick steps. “This has got to be a bad dream, I mean, a really, really bad dream! Shit!”
As much as Arizona wanted to believe the last hour had been a dream, she knew it was bitter reality. She returned to the edge of the bathtub and held her legs tightly together. She shook her head. “How can this be?” she hissed. She stood, walked over to the vanity, and peered into the mirror, hoping the woman staring back at her had an explanation for what she’d just endured. Her thoughts were cut short when she heard the door crack open and saw Chris’s head peep inside.
“Baby, are you okay?”
Arizona tried to paint on a smile. “Yes, I’m fine,” she answered. She knew Chris would see the truth in her eyes, so she walked over to the water closet. “I have to use the bathroom really bad,” she lied.
“Okay, don’t take too long. I’m ready for round two,” he said eagerly before closing the door behind him.
Arizona pulled the lid down on the commode, sat, and once again felt like sobbing. “Round two? Hell, I want round one!” she quietly hissed. Arizona had been anticipating a night of hot, passionate, unbridled lovemaking, and she’d thought that it would have been earth-shattering because of the two years of pent-up passion that had been simmering between them. Chris’s kisses had always been sweet but short. His touch had always been soft but never lingering. And his embrace had always been caring but not heated. She’d thought it had been because he hadn’t wanted to test the vow of celibacy they’d taken—a means of keeping temptation at bay. But now she knew that his actions were actually symptoms of an entirely different problem. She sat in stunned bewilderment as she replayed things in her mind.
After Chris had removed her clothes—save for her panties and bra—she’d slowly removed his. She’d been turned on with growing excitement as she’d taken inventory of his smooth, toned, dark brown skin and hard muscles that she couldn’t wait to touch. She’d tossed his shirt and pants to the floor as they stood in front of each other with just one revealing layer to remove.
Without any words between them they walked over to the bed. Chris pulled back the comforter and Arizona turned off the light on the nightstand on her side of the bed. She’d glanced over at Chris and gave him a bashful smile. Although his words about her body and her size had comforted her, she’d still felt self-conscious and she’d appreciated his consideration by turning off the light on his nightstand as well.
Once they were under the covers their bodies had clung together like magnets, but right away, alarm bells rang in Arizona’s head when their pelvises touched. Chris ground his lower body against hers, but all she could feel was his pelvic bone. “Where’s the real bone?” she’d thought. She’d positioned herself directly under him but still couldn’t feel the main muscle she’d been hoping would bring her pleasure.
“Are you ready, baby?” Chris had asked.
With anticipation and a little confusion, Arizona answered. “Yes.”
He spread her legs with his knee and placed his midsection directly over hers. Slowly, he began to grind, but very quickly it turned into a flurry of torpedo like thrusts until he collapsed, gasping for breath on top of her.
“That was incredible . . . you . . . were . . . incre-di-ble,” Chris panted, “and well worth the wait. I love you, Arizona.”
Arizona stared up at him in disbelief. She blinked hard as Chris rolled off her, said a few words about how sorry he was that he hadn’t lasted longer but that he’d make up for it the next time, then lay on his back and began to snore.
“What the hell just happened?” she whispered inside her head. Still confused and completely puzzled by what she’d just experienced, she leaned over to the nightstand and turned on the light because now she was eager to see and confirm what she feared. She moved over toward Chris and slowly pulled the comforter away from his body.
“Lord have mercy, sweet Jesus!” she whispered, then clasped her hand to her mouth. Now it was undeniably clear to her why she hadn’t felt Chris penetrate her. His penis was not the size she’d expected at all. She’d heard stories about men who had a micropenis but never thought Chris would be one of them.
Arizona was snapped back into the present when her right leg tingled with numbness from sitting atop the hard commode for so long. She flushed the toilet for good measure and then walked to the sink and washed her hands. She’d imagined that her first time with Chris would be a magical experience, but instead it seemed more like a frighteningly bad dream. She looked into the mirror once again and shook her head. She knew what she needed to do was go back to the bedroom, tell Chris that she needed to go home, and then have a serious talk with God about what to do.
Arizona took a deep breath and walked out the door. She nearly lost her balance when she saw Chris lying propped on his elbow with the sheet pulled back on her side of the bed.
“Are you ready for round two?” he said with a wide, eager smile.
Chapter 4
BERNADETTE
Present Day
It was Friday, the start of the weekend, and Bernadette knew she should be thankful and happy on this day, not just because she was healthy and gainfully employed, lived in a beautiful home, drove a luxury vehicle, and had friends and family who loved her. She knew she should be thankful and happy because today marked another year of life. Today was her birthday, and she’d reached a milestone that quite a few of her friends, both from childhood and college, had not been blessed to see. Today Bernadette was fifty years old.
“A half century,” she whispered to herself in half amazement and half disbelief. “Thank you, Jesus, for blessing me to make it this far, because Lord knows things could have gone in a different direction.” Bernadette sat straight up in her bed and leaned back against her plush, tufted headboard. She pulled her comforter up to her shoulders to ward off the slight chill in the air. She inhaled a deep breath, trying to wrap her head around the enormity of the moment, and after it finally sank in, fear and worry soon followed.
“Wow, I’m really fifty,” she said as she looked around her large bedroom and then over toward the empty space next to her. She stared at the untouched side of her 1600 thread count sheet covered bed, and frowned. Ever since her traumatic breakup with Walter five years ago, she’d sworn off relationships. She hadn’t even gone out on a casual date since then. But six months ago, after moving to the small town of Bourbon, North Carolina, and with her milestone birthday looming, she’d begun to rethink many things in her life, including companionship.
Bernadette had worked hard over the last few years, pouring all her energy into accelerating her career, which had left little time for a personal life, and that had been perfectly fine with her because it had filled the void of not having a man in her life. The fast pace of the Washington, DC, political and social scene had kept her occupied and relatively content, or so she’d thought. But several months ago she received an offer she couldn’t refuse; a lucrative six-figure salary along with an equally attractive bonus and exceptional perks and benefits package. The catch was that she had to move from the nation’s capital where she’d been born and raised, to a small Southern town that carried the same name as a distilled alcoholic beverage.
“Where in the world is Bourbon?” she’d asked Hewitt Long, CEO of Trudent Health Systems, one of the largest hospital systems in the country. Hewitt Long had flown from North Carolina to DC to woo Bernadette into accepting the job.
“It’s a nice little town nestled in the heart of eastern North Carolina,” Hewitt had said. “Have you ever been to North Carolina?”
Bernadette nodded. “Yes, I visited once because my cousin graduated from Winston-Salem State University, an HBCU, which is an Historically Black College or University,” she added, quickly giving Hewitt the meaning to explain the acronym, “that was lo
cated in Winston-Salem. I flew down there for her graduation. But that was years and years ago. Other than that visit I don’t know much about the state, and certainly not Bourbon.”
“Trust me, you’ll love it there.” Hewitt smiled. “Bourbon is close to beautiful beaches and historic landmarks. That part of the state is also known for good food and friendly folks who look out for each other. Best of all, it’s home to one of the finest state-of-the-art hospitals in the region, and if you accept the position, which I sincerely hope you will, it will be a great new beginning for you.”
When Bernadette had flown down to the small town for her final interview she hadn’t been impressed. Although the hospital was state of the art, as Hewitt had said, the town, its energy, and its residents seemed way too slow for her taste. But the pay was great, and with the low cost of living in that area she figured she would only need to work five more years before she would be able to comfortably retire and live like a queen. So she packed up the only life she’d ever known in DC and headed down south.
Now, sitting in her bed, all alone, she suddenly realized that she’d created a very insular existence, and she didn’t feel at all comfortable about the prospects of growing old all by herself. She didn’t have a mate, children, or even a pet, all of which she thought she would have had at this stage of her life.
Bernadette was jarred from her thoughts when she heard her cell phone ring. Her mother had already called to wish her happy birthday, followed by her aunt Anna, and now the call that she’d been waiting for—and knew would come because it was a tradition—was now ringing.
“Happy birthday, cuzzo!” Tess screamed through the phone. “How does it feel to be half a century old?”
Bernadette chuckled and let out a sigh. “You really do have a way with words.”
“What else would you expect from a writer?”
The Other Side Page 3