Tess felt in her creative and spiritual gut that she needed to write an entirely different story, one that would resonate with her and, hopefully, her readers. Until now, she’d never considered using her life for the material backdrop of her plotlines, but as with many things, her view was changing. She wanted to write a story about what she was going through, which was disappointment and heartache. But she also wanted to write about what was on the other side of those feelings, which was a solid and loving relationship built on trust and respect that could grow into something beautiful. Tess knew that if she desired those things, there was a host of other women who wanted it, too. In that moment she knew that she needed to write a story about love.
Initially, the thought of writing about love had made her laugh and cry at the same time. She was far from an expert on the subject, and in fact, she’d never had a truly successful relationship in her forty years. But as she thought about her current circumstances and the kind of story she wanted to write, she kept coming back to the word “love.” She concluded that although she wasn’t an expert on the emotion, she was an expert on hurt, pain, and bad decisions. She was an expert on regret, resentment, and revenge. She was an expert on dealing with infidelity, disrespect, and terrible breakups. Deep in Tess’s soul, she knew that if she’d been able to survive all these things and still remain standing, she could write a story about the kind of love she hoped and wished for.
With a newfound determination, Tess sent an email to her editor, Mya Tyson, and outlined her new story proposal. She didn’t know what the title was going to be, but she did know that it was going to be something great.
Chapter 16
BERNADETTE
Like most people, Bernadette looked forward to the weekend, mainly because her workweek spilled over into the days that were meant for rest and relaxation. But oftentimes her weekends stood as a two-day reminder of the fact that she’d be spending that time alone. But ever since her lunch date with Coop on Monday, she’d been looking forward to the weekend, and now that it was Friday, she was more than ready to enjoy herself.
She and Coop had talked every day that week. When Bernadette arose each morning she was greeted by a sweet text from Coop that simply read, Good morning, beautiful. I hope you slept well. From there, she would call him on her drive into work and they would share what they had on their calendars for the day. Coop also sent her midday text messages just to let her know he was thinking about her, or if something went on in his world, whether it was a problem he needed to deal with at one of his many businesses that included rental properties, two Laundromats, and a car wash, he would let her know. Bernadette also shared her multitude of personnel, administrative, and bottom-line budget challenges that went along with being the second highest ranking member of Bourbon General’s executive team. Then, later that night before she wound down from her long day and Coop geared up for his second round—because things at Southern Comfort didn’t get going until nighttime—they would share their highs and lows of the day and wish each other a good night until they spoke again the next morning.
By midweek, Bernadette had already grown accustomed to their routine, and she looked forward to the calls and texts that she and Coop shared. She was amazed at his high level of enthusiasm and zeal for life. If she told him that she was having a rough day, he would emphasize all the good things that were going well and help her find a solution for whatever challenge she was facing, always reminding her that she was blessed to be in the position in which she stood. Bernadette respected Coop’s view of life because she knew he’d acquired his knowledge from bumps and bruises he’d gained at an early age.
After having been incarcerated while he was young for senseless crimes he’d committed, Coop understood and had learned how to make the most of the opportunities that came with one’s freedom, and he was determined to live with appreciation for the life he’d fought so hard to build over the years. If anyone had told Bernadette a year ago that she’d be living in a small Southern town, dating an ex-felon, she would have thought that meant her future was bleak because on the surface it went against the standards she’d set for herself. But as she looked at her life right now, she had to admit that she was the happiest she could ever remember as an adult. In such a very short time, Coop had made her feel special, not just by the words he said but by his actions and deeds.
Yesterday when she’d been so swamped that she hadn’t been able to leave her office for lunch, Coop had made sure that food was delivered to her from Sue’s Brown Bag, and because she had told him that her cousin was staying with her and was sequestered inside the house until she finished her novel, he’d made sure the order from Sue’s was large enough that Bernadette had leftovers to take home to Tess.
Now that it was Friday, Bernadette wanted to see Coop so badly she felt like a kid on Christmas morning who was waiting to open gifts. But she had to be patient because as much as they wanted to see each other, they had to wait. Tonight was going to be busy at Southern Comfort because one of the club’s regulars was having a retirement celebration, and Coop was expecting the crowd to be large. Plus, Bernadette knew that Tess had been confined upstairs all week in her makeshift writing cave, and now that it was Friday night, she’d said she was going to take a break and celebrate her steady writing flow. Bernadette had also been in touch with Arizona, who was going through some major intimacy problems with Chris and needed a break from her worries. So Bernadette had planned a ladies’ night in with her cousin and her new friend because all three of them needed each other’s friendship and advice.
Bernadette was putting the finishing touches on one of her food trays when Tess walked into the room.
“Wow!” Tess said with excitement. “Cuz, this looks like a spread straight out of Martha Stewart’s kitchen.”
“Aww, thanks, Tess.” Bernadette smiled with modesty, and even though she wasn’t boastful, she had to admit that she possessed a natural talent for decorating and entertaining. Her den looked more like the setup of a fashionably decorated event space than a room in someone’s home. “You know, ever since I was a little girl I’ve loved decorating and entertaining.”
“You sure have, and you certainly have the gift and the skills for it. If you ever get tired of that suited-up corporate life you’ve been living, you could definitely make a hell of a lot of money as a decorator and event planner.”
Bernadette smiled as she surveyed her handiwork, some of which she’d prepared last night and had kept in her refrigerator until she’d come home from work that afternoon. She’d put together delectable trays with everything from fruit kabobs with a homemade strawberry cream cheese dip to both raw and fire roasted veggies and imported and domestic cheeses and crackers, all beautifully displayed on beds of leafy greens. She’d also used cake stands of varying heights and filled them with bacon-wrapped scallops, mini chicken quesadillas, and zesty meatballs. She’d made a bowl of pasta salad and mini cups of garden salads with individual dressing bowls. And last but not least, a chocolate pound cake to satisfy everyone’s sweet tooth.
“Thanks, cuz. I’m so glad you approve. I know you go to a lot of fabulous events in the literary world, so I trust your judgment.”
“I more than approve, and to show you that I’m serious, I’m going to do the honors of sampling this delicious food.” Tess pierced a meatball with a toothpick and popped it into her mouth. “This is so good! Bernadette, I’ve been telling you for years that you should seriously think about doing a lil’ something on the side. Build up a name for yourself.”
“Thanks, but right now my nine-to-five pays the bills.”
Tess shook her head. “And speaking of your job, how in the world did you find the time to cook all this food and then arrange it like a culinary display?”
“I wish I could take the credit for all of it, but I only put together a portion of the food. I cheated a little and stopped by Sue’s Brown Bag for all the hot food. I can’t wait to take you there once you get a chance to
break away from your writing. That place has the best food I’ve ever tasted.”
“Well, if it’s anything like the leftovers from the other day, I’m ready.”
Just then they were pulled from their conversation when the doorbell rang.
“That’s Arizona,” Bernadette told Tess. “I think you two are going to really hit it off.”
Bernadette opened the door and greeted Arizona with a warm hug, but when she took her friend’s coat to hang in the closet, she was startled by Arizona’s appearance. She still looked stunningly beautiful, as usual, but she also looked noticeably thinner. Bernadette knew that wearing black generally gave a slimming effect to one’s figure, but as she inspected Arizona, she was sure that it wasn’t just the color of the material that had her friend looking as if she’d lost a whole dress size in one week.
“Arizona, you look like you’ve lost weight,” Bernadette said.
Arizona smiled. “I have, and thanks for noticing.”
“Only a blind person wouldn’t be able to notice. It’s been under one week since I last saw you. How did you lose so much weight so fast?” Bernadette asked as they walked back to her den.
“Honestly, and this is gonna sound horrible, but I think it’s because of all the stress that I’ve been under. And this is gonna sound even worse, but whenever I think about Chris I lose my appetite.”
“You look good, but losing weight this way is going to negatively affect your health, my friend.”
“I know, you’re right.”
“And honestly, it’s not good that you lose your appetite when you think about the man you’re going to marry. That’s a real problem. Arizona, I’m worried about you.”
“You’re not alone. My mom is worried, too, and I just don’t know what to do. My situation with Chris is wearing me down.”
Bernadette shook her head as she thought about the phone conversation she’d had with Arizona a few nights ago when Arizona had described in detail how badly her last sexual encounter with Chris had ended. Bernadette wanted her friend to be happy, and although Chris loved Arizona and she loved him, Bernadette knew that love alone wouldn’t sustain their relationship, and over time Arizona’s frustrations, mixed with Chris’s literal shortcomings, was a combination that was doomed to fail.
Bernadette knew that Arizona was in need of good, sound advice. Tess was in need of healing and a listening ear, and she was in need of reassurance that she wasn’t stepping into a minefield in her budding relationship with Coop. Bernadette knew that tonight was going to be therapeutic for them all.
When Bernadette and Arizona entered the room, Tess was already pouring the champagne. “Tess,” Bernadette said, “I want you to meet my friend, Arizona. And Arizona, this is my cousin, Tess Sinclair.”
Arizona’s mouth fell open. “Hold up!” she gasped and looked at Bernadette, then at Tess, and back at Bernadette again. “Tess Sinclair is your cousin?! Oh my goodness! I’m a huge fan.” She walked up to Tess with a spring in her step. “My mother has read all your books and that’s how I got started reading them. You’re a great author. I don’t know how you come up with some of your storylines, but I love them and all your characters.”
Tess set the champagne back in the ice bucket and extended her hand for a firm shake. “I’m honored, and thank you, and your mother, for your support.”
Arizona bypassed Tess’s hand and embraced her with a warm hug. “You’re welcome.”
“Get used to hugs,” Bernadette said with a light chuckle. “That’s what folks do down here in the South.”
“I see.” Tess nodded with a smile.
Three hours later the women had devoured the small tray of finger food that Bernadette had picked up from Sue’s Brown Bag and were now eating one of the two pizzas that Tess had ordered for delivery. They were on their third bottle of wine and all feeling relaxed and free as they discussed the situations that had led them to where they were at the moment.
“Wait a minute,” Tess said as she looked at Arizona. “How small did you say his dick is?”
“Tess!” Bernadette chided. “Don’t be so crude.”
Arizona gave them both a sad look. “I haven’t measured it, but it can’t be any more than maybe an inch and a half. And that’s when he’s fully erect. When he’s not, I can’t even see it.”
Bernadette shook her head because each time she’d heard Arizona describe Chris’s tiny penis she cringed, and now that Tess was getting an earful, Bernadette braced herself for the comments that might come flying out of her cousin’s mouth.
Tess sucked her teeth. “Damn. Your man is workin’ with a gherkin.”
Bernadette threw Tess a hard look, akin to how a parent would caution a child about bad behavior.
“Yes,” Arizona responded. She closed her eyes and shook her head. “I feel absolutely horrible, but I don’t even want to look at him with his clothes off. Ever since last week I’ve been completely turned off by my own fiancé. He’s out of town on business for the next two weeks, so we talk every morning and at night. Every time I hear his voice I get frustrated, and I know that’s not right. That’s not the emotion I should be feeling when I talk to the man I’m supposed to love and marry.”
“No, it’s not,” Tess said, “but I can see why you feel that way.”
“This is the hardest thing I’ve ever dealt with,” Arizona said. “I love Chris, but I’m not attracted to him anymore, and it’s all because . . .”
“He has a little dick,” Tess said in a blunt tone.
Bernadette pointed her finger at her cousin and tossed her a warning stare. “You’re not helping.”
“You’re right, and I’m sorry,” Tess said, motioning to Arizona and then to Bernadette. “But I know what will help.” Tess picked up the bottle of Chardonnay and poured Arizona another glass. “You need this, and a whole lot more. If I had some weed I’d give that to you, too.”
Bernadette blinked her eyes rapidly. “What did you just say?”
“Calm down, cuz. I was only joking.”
Arizona inhaled deeply and then gulped down half of the wine in her glass. “Am I being shallow? I mean, Chris is a good man. He’s kind, thoughtful, and respectful. He loves Solomon and he’s a great role model for my son. And I can’t even begin to tell you how good he is to me. He’s everything I’ve ever wanted in a man.”
“Expect for his small dick,” Tess said as she took a sip of her wine. “I know that’s not something you wanted.”
Bernadette spoke up. “Please excuse my cousin. As you can see, the author in her comes out . . . and she has a definite way with words.”
“But she’s real and she’s right,” Arizona responded. “If I’da known that Chris had this problem, I probably wouldn’t have ever started dating him.”
Tess set her glass down on the coffee table and took a slice of pizza from the box as she spoke. “That’s why I think the whole ‘no sex before marriage’ thing is a really bad idea. Before you buy a house you get a home inspection so you can see what kind of problems you’ll be dealing with before you move in. I think that sex before marriage is the same damn thing. You have to make sure you’re sexually compatible before you say ‘I do.’ I’ve heard from so many people that marriage is easy to get into but hard as hell to get out of.”
Bernadette rested her hand against her head as she sipped from her glass. “So, I guess the question now is, what do you want to do, Arizona?” Bernadette knew that she was putting her friend on the spot, but she also knew that it was a serious matter, and Arizona needed to make a decision. Her wedding was only a few months away, and given the speed with which time was flying by, June would be here before they knew it.
“I’m still not sure,” Arizona replied. “I’m hoping that you ladies can share some wisdom with me because I really need it.”
Bernadette almost laughed. “I’m fifty and she’s forty,” she said, motioning her head in Tess’s direction, “and neither one of us have kids or have ever been married.
I haven’t dated in five years and Tess is in a dry spell.”
“But I have booty calls regularly,” Tess interjected. “With a hot twentysomething, I might add, who can bring it like nobody’s business.”
“Ignore her,” Bernadette quipped as she continued. “What I’m trying to say is that our advice, at least mine, might not be the wisest, but I’ll tell you what I think from my heart.”
“From the heart is the best kind of advice,” Arizona said. “’Cause I need help.”
Bernadette paused for a second. She wanted to make sure that the words she chose were right, and more important, that they would help her friend. “I don’t think you’re the least bit shallow. You’re genuine, and that’s one of the things I immediately picked up on about you. You’re being honest about how you feel and that’s a great thing because a lot of people walk into relationships lying to themselves and to each other, all for the sake of saving face and presenting a picture-perfect image to the world.”
“I second that,” Tess said. “Folks are all over social media trying to make everyone believe they’re living their best life, but ninety percent of the mess they post is bullshit. What they’re really doing is out there living their best lie, and I bet that’s probably what that bastard, Antwan, is doing right now. The selfish son of a bitch.”
Bernadette could see that her cousin was primed and ready to venture down a troubled road, so she steered the conversation back to Arizona’s current situation. “It’s every woman’s right to have good sex. . . and often,” she said. “It’s an important part of our physical and emotional well-being, and it’s a way that you can connect with your partner on a level that no one else can or should. So the fact that it’s not what you want is a big concern. But I’ll be honest with you.” Bernadette paused again and stared directly into Arizona’s eyes as she spoke because she wanted to make an even greater impact with the next words she was about to say. “Chris’s size and even his lack of skills shouldn’t be your biggest concern. The thing you should be worried about is the fact that he seems to be completely oblivious to your wants, needs, and your obvious dissatisfaction.”
The Other Side Page 17