Locke pushes a stool over for Reese to sit down on and I guide her into it. She doesn’t even flinch when the chair makes a loud clunking noise against the floor. I’m pretty sure she’s still not fully coherent. Locke pulls another stool over for himself as the medic rushes over to a station in the back corner and washes his hands. He returns momentarily with a caddy of supplies and places a paper mat down before covering it with several test tubes and a needle.
“We have to take some blood, okay?” he asks Reese.
“Okay,” she says quietly, keeping her focus locked only on me now.
“They’re going to try and help you,” I reassure her.
The medic is quick with taking the blood he needs and hands it over to Locke. “I had a chem background before joining the Marines,” Locke says. “That’s what dictated the job I had while I was in. You’re in good hands.” He attempts to reassure her, but I need the reassurance as much as Reese does. He has the vials of blood lined up as he sets up his workspace. Within a few minutes, he has his eye pressed against a microscope.
It’s another twenty minutes or so before Locke backs up and peels the medical gloves off his hands. He doesn’t say a word as he walks over to the trashcan, then goes to the sink to wash his hands. We’re all staring at him, waiting for him to say something...anything...but there’s only silence, which is killing me, and I’m sure Reese feels the same.
“We have two choices,” he finally says, pulling the stool over next to the medic. “The toxin is acting similar to an infection, but it’s not attacking her cells like a normal infection would, which means the toxin is coexisting with her, not killing her, but...” he breathes. Of course, there has to be a fucking “but”! “The toxicity percentage is multiplying, but at a rate so slow that in Reese’s particular case, it could take another fifty years for the toxin to take up enough space in her bloodstream to cause her harm. At that point, her cells would have no choice but to become irreparably damaged, thus causing, well—self-destruction, death.”
I already feel relieved. Fifty years with the state this country is currently in is a blessing. I would be thankful for fifty more years. The question of what condition the toxin would leave her in during those years is in the back of my mind, but first things first. I need to know all our options. “What is the second option?” I ask.
“A blood transfusion which may or may not remove some of the toxin, but likely not all of it, plus I’m not sure we could collect the proper equipment to do it.” So, that’s not an option at all.
“What will the side effects be?” Reese pipes in. “I need to know everything. I need to know what to expect. Will I become like one of those people eventually?”
“I wouldn’t worry about that. The amount of toxicity your blood contains is about a third of what a typical Juliet has. So, I think it might be safe to assume you will continue with the side-effects you have already experienced. As we monitored you during your time in Chipley, we already know you experienced hallucinations as well as confusing nightmares for reality, and your aversion to darkness is also a typical side-effect.” The medic looks down at his interlocked hands for a brief moment and back up at Reese again. “The worst of it, though, is a desire for cannibalistic behavior, which you did show during your time here in the bunker. While we can attribute that behavior to the laced food from Chipley, we aren’t sure how much of that chemical was still in your system during your episode, so the question of this particular side-effect is still up for debate until we have more research." The medic leans forward and places a hand on her knee. “But we’re here to help you.”
Locke pulls me to the side as I’m mid-thought about which episode of hers they are referring to. Did I miss something? “Look,” he says softly, quiet enough that Reese can’t hear us. “We can help. She may have moments where she might suffer from side-effects, but this is truly our only option right now. I know it’s a lot to ask you to look after her, but—”
“It’s not a lot to ask. Of course I will look after her,” I tell him. It was never a question. My only concern is that she doesn’t move through life suffering in any way. I can’t stand by and watch that without trying to do something.
“I’ll live with it,” Reese says, loud enough for Locke and I to hear.
“You’ll be fine,” Locke says.
I walk back over to Reese, grabbing a nearby stool to bring myself closer to her. Wrapping my arms around her, I bring her in against my chest. “You’ll be okay. We will be okay. You aren’t alone in this. I’ll be right here with you,” I tell her, running my fingers through a strand of her hair.
Just as an inkling of a small smile appears over her lips, the door to the lab flies open. One of the Marines is standing in the doorway with an unsettled look on his face, but he’s quick to explain his disposition. “The chaos in Coldhall has simmered, but I’m afraid it isn’t pretty.”
“What do you mean?” the medic asks.
“The Juliets are stronger than what we thought. The prisoners of Chipley are all dead,” the Marine says.
My guilt immediately returns like a slap in the face as I think about Cora, Kelter, and the other Chipley residents who trusted me, only to be sent to their deaths.
“How come I’m not like them?” Reese asks, bringing my attention back to her. “Am I going to become like them? What if that happens?”
“Like I said,” Locke chimes in. “The toxin more or less doubled when it interacted with the water, so they have at least twice as much in their bloodstream as you do, so no, I don’t think you will experience the degree of side-effects most of the Juliets are living with.”
“Now what?” I ask.
“We learn to live with the Juliets or remain here in this bunker until they die,” Locke says.
“What about Crownwell? Where is he?” I ask. Because if I’m dying in this fucking bunker, he’s going down with me.
“He died four years ago. Your mother was left as the ringleader, the only one Crownwell trusted,” Locke says.
“We should try and help them,” Reese adds in. “The Juliets. Maybe we can help them.”
The men all share a look before the Marine at the door politely disagrees. “If you want to survive, it has to be here in this bunker until the Juliets die off, which for them will likely be less than twenty-five years. We have plenty of food and water here to survive for that long. I know it’s not what you wanted to hear, but those of us here are a good group of people and we’ll get through this. There are more of us here, many with wives and kids. As hard as it is to believe, we’ve built a life here,” Locke says.
I look at Reese and offer her a smile. “I think we’ll be okay here for a while...you and me.” I place a kiss down on the top of her head, holding her a little tighter. I didn’t think I’d end up with this girl in the end, and I didn’t think I’d come out of this alive, but hope is in front of me and I’m not letting it go. If living with her means living in a bunker, I’ll take it.
When I pull away to gauge her reaction, a sad but small smile tugs at her lips. “I hope I don’t turn out like the other Juliets, you know, after the toxin doubles in my bloodstream like Locke said. You’re protecting yourself and your families from them, but aren’t I what you should be afraid of?”
No one has much to say because while it’s true, she is a different circumstance...kind of. The level of threat she offers is less than half of what the other Juliets offer...we think. At least for the time being. I can take care of her, help her. “No,” I say before anyone else has the chance to say anything. “You’re not one of them. Not even close.”
“Look, we’ll do weekly testing, psychological and physical. It will help us with research and who knows what else it can be helpful for down the road?” the medic says.
“No, no,” Reese says. “I should live out there with the others. Plus, it always bothered me how Juliet ended up being the reason for Romeo’s death. Maybe I can change that. Now I can be the reason Romeo lives. I’ll be t
he selfless one, the hero, maybe I can make a difference out there, help the other Juliets. Right?”
“Enough of this bullshit. I’m alive, and I’m not going anywhere,” I tell her. “So, enough with the poetic crap. That was my mom’s psychotic bullshit with no truth behind it. Going out there is more or less walking toward your death, which is exactly what Juliet did. So, that proves your theory very wrong. If you want to help someone, stay here and be with me. I love you. Isn’t that enough?”
“I don’t want to hurt any of you,” she says. “Yes, Sin, I love you, and that is enough, but if I ever hurt you, I would never ever forgive myself.”
“Hon, you’re like ninety-five pounds soaking wet,” Locke says. “I think we can take you down if need be.”
Everyone around us has a good laugh, but I’m not laughing. She’s serious and so am I. “Don’t leave me,” I plead with her.
“Can I have some time to think about this?” she asks. I don’t understand what there is to think about. “I need to be okay with my decision in putting your safety at risk. Didn’t you hear him? I could have the desire to act on cannibalistic traits.”
“Take all the time you need,” Locke says. Each of them leaves us alone in the lab, space and time for me to plead with her to put aside her insane thoughts of going out to live among the Juliets. “Oh.” Locke pokes his head back in. “If you choose to stay, the apartment you stayed in last night is yours.”
Even though they have left us alone in here, Reese stands up and walks to the door and out of the room toward the direction of the apartments. “Reese, stop. Talk to me,” I shout after her. She doesn’t, though. I can understand she may have a hard time swallowing everything that has happened today, this past week, this past month, these past five years, but in no way could she want to march to her death right now. That I don’t understand.
She finally stops and turns toward me, sprinting wildly into my arms as she throws hers around my neck. Her lips meet mine and the pressure of her kiss tells me she has made a decision, but I still don’t know which way it’s going to go. For the sake of her life, I hope it’s to stay here with me. It has to be to stay here with me.
When our lips part, she pulls away an inch or so and looks directly into my eyes. “I’ll be gone when you wake up in the morning, but I will come back. I promise.”
“No,” I say, choking up. I don’t cry, I don’t get emotional, I just shot my parents point blank and I felt nothing, but there is a tear burning down my cheek right now. “I can’t be without you. I have never loved anyone or anything the way I love you, and I don’t think I can honestly live a day without you or with the thought of what might happen to you if you leave. I will get down on my hands and knees right here in the middle of this godforsaken hall and beg you to stay if that’s what it’s going to take. Tell me what I can do to change your mind, and I will do it. If you leave, then everything we went through to survive, to finally be together, will all have been for nothing.” My begging doesn’t seem to have any effect on her. Why, though? This isn’t the Reese I have known.
Again she gives me her small smile, the pity in her eyes. “Sin, I love you too. I love you more than I’ve loved anything, and that is why I’m doing this. Please understand that I’m doing this for you.”
“That’s bull and you know it!” I yell through a cracked shout. “Why do you always have to be such a fucking pain in the ass, Reese?”
She laughs softly. “Why do you always have to be such an asshole?” She ends the conversation with that and continues in the direction of the apartment.
42
Chapter Seventeen
REESE
He won’t understand until it’s too late. I have felt off since the first day I made a scratch mark on the floorboard of that shed. My nightmares kept me awake at night and during the day. I was Crownwell and company’s caged pet that they used and abused. They hurt so many innocent people and all those still alive feel the way I did for those five years, or worse. They feel abandoned in their own heads, lost without any direction. How is it fair that I have shelter and water and they’re left with nothing?
But then there’s Sin, the man who I have relied on to be my hero and to save me. Now I realize it wasn’t me who needed to be saved, it was me who needed to save everyone else. Maybe I was used as a weapon to hurt others, but now I have the opportunity to correct that. Along with that, I know I can’t control myself if my condition and symptoms worsen, and Sin would be the first person I would hurt. I can’t put him in that kind of danger. Isn’t that love? It has to be because this hurts like hell.
We enter the apartment and Sin closes the door behind us, locking the deadbolt before coming closer to me. “Tell me how to change your mind,” he says again.
“I will come back for you,” I tell him. “I will.”
“Can I tie you up and hold you as my hostage?” he asks. I know it’s a joke, but I also know it’s what he wants to do.
“Sin, let me do this.”
“I’m not going to agree to you putting yourself in the hands of the Grim Reaper. It’s not happening. You can beg me all you want, but just like you don’t care about my pleas, I don’t care about yours. That’s how this is going to end. We don’t care about what each other wants. Is that how you want this to go?”
“If it has to be,” I say.
“You’re not thinking straight. That’s what this is. You’re out of your mind right now.”
“Show me how much you love me tonight, Sin. Just do that for me. Give me something good to dream about when the nightmares get too bad,” I tell him. The tearing ache in my chest is making this harder to get through than I thought. There’s no way to make him understand. I get what he’s saying and he’s right about all of it but I cannot give in this time. He’ll understand eventually. He has to.
Sin sits down on the bed, hanging his head between his shoulders. “You can’t do this to me,” he says.
“Okay,” I say.
“Okay?” he asks.
“Okay.” I made it sound too easy, but he’s taking the bait.
His hand is around my wrist, and he’s pulling me in against him, his lips traveling along my neck ferociously. He’s thanking me with his mouth as his breath whispers the words against my skin. “I love you. We’re going to make it here. It’s a new kind of life, but it can work because we have each other, you know?” His words come and go at the same speed as it takes for our clothes to hit the floor.
I feel guilty and ashamed as he shows me how much loves me, but what other option is there? “I’ll make you breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day. I’ll make you happy here, Reese.” His repetitive pleas continue as if he doesn’t believe my agreement. He knows there is no winner, but regardless of trying to force my mind somewhere else, I lose myself within his embrace and the touch of his hands on my body, as well as the way he feels inside of me. I can’t think about anything more than the warmth sprouting through me like a flower’s petals blooming. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe he’s right. Maybe I can live each day feeling nothing but his skin against mine, forgetting my reason for being.
My body shudders, responding to his every move as a thundering wave of excitement builds within my core until it shatters me from the inside out, causing me to melt into the bed like liquid. Sin lowers himself on top of me, his lips still connected to my neck. “If I stay like this all night, you won’t be able to move,” he whispers lazily into my ear.
“You’re right,” I agree. I agree.
“I love you, Reese.”
“I love you, Sin. Forever.”
43
Chapter Eighteen
SIN
There is light pouring into the room, filling every dark inch that surrounded us minutes ago. Each of my senses slowly awakens and I close my fingers over the thin bed sheet, sweeping my arm further to the side, attempting to find what I’m looking for. Her.
I don’t want to open my eyes. I don’t want to see what I’m going to see
. If I inhale, I will smell linen, not her. I can still taste her, though. The sweetness of her skin still remains on my tongue, as I hope it will forever.
Footsteps in the hall startle my eyes open, facing the truth, facing nothing, an empty half of the bed. I sit up like a jackknife, looking around for a hint that she is still here somewhere, but her clothes and boots are gone. Jumping from the bed, I push the bathroom door open, stepping inside and yanking the shower curtain down from the rod.
She’s gone.
I don’t understand what the motivation was to leave me and go back out there, dropping herself into a pit of people who want her dead. We could have waited out the next twenty-five years. Together.
She has been in my life for such a short period of time, but I feel like I’ve known her longer than anyone else in my life.
I couldn’t leave her the way she has left me.
I pull on my pants and slip my shirt over my head, leaving my socks and shoes behind as I rush through the door. It takes me less than a few minutes to find the glass exit—the gates to hell.
With my hands pressed up against the cold glass, I rest my forehead down, letting tear after tear make its way down my cheek. She left me. My girl fucking left me. My girl.
A hand on my back forces me upright and I turn to find Locke. “I’m sorry,” he says. “She insisted on leaving.” I can punch this guy in the face; call him a traitor and an asshole for letting her leave like she did, but then I would be acting like Mom. “I gave her weapons, food, water, things to help her survive.”
“It won’t matter what she has once she comes face to face with those fucking lunatics,” I tell him.
“I’m sorry,” Locke says. “Let me know if I can do anything for you.” I shove my fist into the glass window, embracing the pain wrenching through my arm. It hurts less than my chest does right now.
Locked In: No Way Out Series - Book One Page 27