by P. Jameson
Finally Diz asked the question he’d been saving. The one he found so unbelievable and… wonderful. “You said my Dessy is with young?”
“I did.”
His breath came faster at the idea. That his first time with Dessy could be so amazing and heartbreaking at the same time, and still produce something so beautiful. A life that shared a piece of each of them.
His first young. The first of many, if he had anything to do with it. And it wouldn’t take him a hundred years like Illia said.
He was hit with the sudden urgency to get to his mate. To see her, and know that she was safe. To hold her in his arms, and tell her what he’d been waiting to tell her for a week now.
“I need to go,” he said, reaching into the cab for his t-shirt. “I gotta go now.”
Illia nodded. “Yes. You do. One more warning before you leave…” She raised a finger to the air in front of her. “Hold nothing back, hear me? Nothing. It will take giving her everything if you wish her to be your everything.”
Diz nodded. “Done.” He’d never hold back from Destiny again.
He got in the truck, but before he could shut the door, Illia stopped him. “Also… tell her Fortune Cookie Wisdom said hello.”
Diz frowned, giving the woman a nod, started the truck, and pulled a u-turn on the abandoned dirt road. In his rearview mirror, he spotted a dark wolf with wise cat-like eyes.
“Thank you, Elder,” he whispered. “Thank you.”
Chapter Thirteen
Destiny walked the grounds of the lodge, envisioning the coming celebration. Magic laid out the plans in great detail at their last staff meeting. They were trying something new this year, and using the lake in their special effects. The kids were going to love it. Adults too.
She could see why Tana loved this place. It was peaceful, and the scenery was gorgeous. The cats had built a nice resort, without taking away the integrity of the landscape.
Destiny could definitely appreciate what they’d done here, but she still missed the dusty, forested Cedar Valley.
She missed home.
But could she ever go back? Maybe this was her home now. Maybe her vision of guiding the pack through her gift was total bunk.
Only time would tell.
She stopped at the top of the footbridge that spread across a finger of the lake, and looked down on the resort. Pressing her palm against her flat belly, she murmured, “This might be it, little ones.”
Little ones. Plural.
She’d only been aware of one young yesterday, but she was so new to these sensations. It wasn’t until this morning that she’d sensed more. Three little lives, she was sure of, but maybe there’d be even more.
Three young to raise. She’d need the support of this clan.
She chewed her lip. What would Diz think? He’d be furious she hadn’t told him. But by the time he found out, maybe he would have found his intended. He’d be happy to have her, and thrilled to have young no matter if they were from Destiny or not. Right? That could happen, right? Maybe they’d end up like one of those blended families the humans had. If it worked for them, it could work for the shifters.
Destiny sighed.
Her lunch break was almost over so she trekked back to the lodge. The place had been hectic all morning with visitors packing up to leave their summer vacations behind. And there’d been some shifter upheaval this morning that she didn’t care to know about. Some unexpected visitor, who apparently, Magic had no tolerance for.
Needless to say, by break time, she’d needed the outdoors.
Inside, she made her way to her room. Magic had given her permission to work from her bed whenever she wanted since her job consisted of calling vendors and setting up appointments. Later, she’d have more interaction with the children, but for now it was all logistics.
She turned the corner to her room, and stopped short, her heart slamming against her ribs.
Diz leaned against her door, looking worn and frazzled. His head snapped up when he scented her, and his eyes softened at the corners.
Destiny swallowed her panic. He could surely smell the young. He’d know the truth right away.
“We need to talk.” His voice was both harsh and beautiful, and reminded her how much she’d missed him. How could one week feel like years?
She glanced around. They couldn’t do this in the hall. Even though it was an employee wing, she didn’t want anyone witnessing her private issues.
She nodded and reached around him to open the door. He didn’t budge an inch but she managed to get the door open even with his gaze boring into her. She squeezed past him and he followed, shutting them in.
Destiny fidgeted with her laptop, closing the screen and squaring it up with the corner of her desk.
Diz broke the silence. “After you left, I went searching for my mate.”
“I know. Punk told me when I called.”
He seemed surprised by the information.
“Did you find her?”
Maybe that’s why he’d come. To tell her in person. He didn’t look happy. But he wouldn’t be happy about hurting her. Destiny knew he cared, even if he couldn’t commit to her.
He nodded. “I did.”
Destiny’s stomach dropped. She felt ill, even though she’d prepared herself to hear the news.
“But it didn’t happen the way I thought it would.”
She nodded, looking away. She should say something. Congratulate him. What kind of friend was she if she couldn’t be happy for him?
But all she could think about was his three young growing inside her and how this would affect them.
She took a deep, shaking breath, ready to tell him the truth.
But he made an odd sound. Not quite a laugh. “Nothing in my life has ever gone the way I thought it would. For example, I never thought I’d manage to hurt you when what I wanted was to love you.”
Destiny crossed her arms, hoping to shield her heart from his words. This wasn’t going to be easy.
The most precious things never come easy.
Not now! Please.
She squeezed her eyes closed, feeling that sixth sense fade away. Thank god. She couldn’t deal with her gift right now.
When she opened them, Diz had stepped closer. “I never imagined you leaving would be the best thing to ever happen to us.”
Destiny reeled from his hurtful words. Why would he be so cruel? Her eyes filled with unwanted tears.
“Or that the female I’d chosen to be mine was also the one fate had chosen.” He stared hard at her, and he was so close his scent was all she could smell.
But she didn’t understand.
“That night… after we made love…”
Is that what they’d done? She’d loved him, but it wasn’t mutual.
“I fought with my wolf. Fought for you. Those moments when I was inside you, they changed me, Dessy. You became my whole world. I couldn’t imagine wanting anyone more than I wanted you. But my animal wouldn’t let me mark you like I needed to. Loyal to a fault, is what the Elder said. But I wrestled him down, and I discovered what I needed to do if I was ever going to make you mine.”
Destiny was frozen in place, her heart waiting to be pushed over a ledge.
But his gaze changed, turning soft, nearly desperate.
“If I wanted to be with you, I had to find my intended and prove to my animal that I’d made my choice, and you were it. I had to find her, and deny her. Then I was coming for you, Dessy. The only problem was, you left without letting me explain. You’re always running away. Not anymore, understand. Not from me. Not ever.”
She shook her head, half wanting to deny his words. It was too dangerous to believe he’d chosen her.
“No. I had to go. I couldn’t stand between you and your intended. I wanted you to be happy.” Her voice broke.
His forehead creased. “At what price, baby?” He looked down at her stomach.
Her hand flew to cover it. “I-I didn’t know about them when I
left,” she stuttered. “I wanted to tell you. I called but…”
His finger pressed against her lips, stopping her. “I’m not done. I met an Elder from the Ozarka pack, Illia.”
The name from his lips shocked her. She knew it. Recognized it from her Sunday dinner vision.
Destiny closed her eyes, recalling it.
A woman, dark hair streaked with gray, sat patiently next to her, their hands in a bowl of water as they both concentrated. Destiny was trying to sharpen her abilities, but the hours with her hands in the water only made them pruney.
She jerked them from the bowl with a growl. “This is useless, Illia.”
The woman peeked at her through one open eye. “I hoped you’d grown a hair of patience after all you’ve been through.”
Destiny crossed her arms. “Well, I haven’t. How am I supposed to be what they need if I can’t beckon a simple vision?”
“You are already what the Dirt Track Dogs need. You only need practice. And they can wait. They’re very good at waiting. What’s the first lesson I taught you? Tell it to me now.”
Destiny rubbed her eyes, blowing a deep breath through her lips. “All things happen in their own time. Destiny is fluid, but also stubborn. If you push it, it will push back.”
“Very good. Remember that.” She gestured to the bowl. “Now try again.”
“Illia,” Destiny whispered, peering at Diz through squinted eyes.
He nodded. “She knew of you. You are to become an Elder for our pack.”
An Elder. She’d heard the dogs talk about them, but she’d never known one. There were no foreseers with the cats. They weren’t needed since clans were scarce, and generally small.
“That’s what my gift is for. The visions,” she breathed.
“Yes, but that’s not all she told me.”
Destiny waited for him to gather his words. He started twice, but stopped when his throat caught. Tentatively, he reached up to gently brush her cheek. His touch after so many days of nothing was like coming home after battle. She fought with herself not to press into his hand, not to push her body against his just to ease the ache in her heart.
“You…” He hesitated, nervously licking his lips. “Dessy, you are my intended. We didn’t know because the bond works differently for Elders. No healing. And the marking can be difficult. But… it’s true. You are mine, and I am yours.”
Her tears spilled over. Could this be right? Could Diz really be hers? She was wary, but her cat padded and pawed finally able to accept what she’d been so afraid to believe.
“It’s why I couldn’t see your mate,” she breathed with realization.
“Yes.” His hand remained on her cheek, but he shook with restraint, giving her time to adjust to the truth. Time for her mind to rewrite all the hurts of the past weeks.
I never imagined that the female I’d chosen to be mine was also the one fate had chosen.
His words made sense now.
My animal wouldn’t let me mark you like I needed to… the bond is different… marking can be difficult.
Different rules to accommodate her gift. For whom much is given, much is expected. They’d been acting under what they knew to be true, even if it wasn’t their truth.
She looked at Diz, his eyes beating into her, willing her to accept it. And she… did. She could feel the bond between them growing to allow for these different circumstances.
“Dessy,” he sighed, shaking. “I love you. I would be here whether you were my fated one or not. Believe me.”
He loved her. She repeated the admission in her mind. Forced it past all the hurt, the regrets, the mistakes. This was their truth now. He loved her. And she loved him.
She lifted her hand to curve around his strong jaw. “My mate,” she whispered.
His brow eased, his shoulders sinking like the heaviest weight had been lifted. “Yes,” he croaked, gripping her hip and pulling her close. “I need to kiss you, Dessy. I need to feel you.”
She hadn’t even finished nodding before his mouth pressed tenderly to hers. Her cat purred wildly, their bond growing more and more solid with every sweet move of his lips.
Suddenly, he broke away and fell to the floor on his knees. He shoved her shirt up, spreading his palm across her belly. “My young,” he whispered reverently. “How many?”
She smiled, her heart flipping over how happy he sounded. “Three for sure.”
He kissed her skin gently, once for every young. “Three,” he murmured. “We’re having three babies, Dessy, you and me. Like our dreams. I told you, our time would come.”
She laughed through happy tears, still feeling fragile.
He lifted his head to gaze at her with such desperation she trembled. “Let me claim you.” His voice was low with desire, and she could scent it in the room. “We need it, Dessy. Our animals need to feel sure. I want there to be no doubts between us.”
She felt the same way. She needed the guarantee of his claiming. His mark in her neck, telling her cat and the rest of the world she was his. His scent mixing with hers in a way that couldn’t be washed off.
Destiny ran her fingers through his short hair. “Make me forget what happened before,” she whispered, but the pain in his eyes gave her pause.
His arms banded around her waist and he pressed his cheek against her belly. “I don’t want you to forget it. It was our first time. I wish I could open up my mind and show you what that night meant to me. It was fucking everything, Dessy. I’m so sorry I hurt you.”
Her hand slid down to his cheek and she felt wetness there.
Water. It zinged from her fingertips, searing a path to her brain, and holding her body captive. It was happening. A vision.
It was quick and brutal. She saw everything that happened that night, but through Diz’s eyes instead of her own. Waiting on the couch, battling his erection, knowing she was in the next room showering, determined to prove how much he wanted her, and dying to know if she needed him in the same way.
The talk. How his heart went crazy when she told him she’d wanted him since the beginning. The first touch of skin, dewy from the shower. Her scent experienced through the filter of his mind.
Carrying her to the bed. Undressing her and feeling like Christmas morning had come. Sliding into her heat, so careful, so he wouldn’t hurt her. The first thrust. Feeling her come from the inside.
The struggle.
That was the worst. The way he battled his animal for the right to claim her. The devastation when he realized he couldn’t.
Though she couldn’t stop the vision, she didn’t want to. Diz needed her to see. Otherwise she wouldn’t have. Somehow she knew that much was true.
Tears streamed down her own cheeks while she was unable to move, but the scene continued.
When he came inside her, the sadness that filled the room wasn’t only hers. The frustration over his will being ignored. The way he’d kissed her afterwards so tenderly, trying to relay his feelings the only way he knew how. Had she even realized the way he kissed her in those final moments? She’d been so consumed with hurt, it was like she was feeling those sweet offerings for the first time now.
Holding her after. His hopelessness when he realized she thought he still wanted his mate. Frustration mounting to a dangerous level. War. He went to war with his wolf.
Dessy is mine. Intended is nothing.
His wolf confused. Hurt. His animal needing her but needing his mate, not recognizing they were the same.
Seeing the way out. Find her. Deny her. Dessy is mine.
The vision cut off and she could move again, but she didn’t want to. The room was quiet, besides the sound of stilted breathing. Diz gripped her so tightly his fingers would leave bruises, but she didn’t want it any other way.
“What was that?” he croaked.
“I saw everything.”
“I know. I felt it through our bond. How?”
“You wanted me to see it, so I did. That’s all I know.”
“You’re right. I don’t want to forget it, Diz. It was our beginning. But now, I want more.”
Carefully, he let go, pulling back just enough to unbutton her jeans. He was slow and deliberate as he lowered her zipper and then pushed them over the curve of her hips, down her legs, and lifting her feet one by one. He placed one quick kiss over the cleft of her sex, causing a trill of excitement to ripple through her body before standing and peeling her shirt upward over her head. Her bra came next as he unsnapped the front and slid it down her shoulders.
He stood back to look at her.
“Even though my wolf feels our bond, he will fight the marking. The Elder said I should hold nothing back. I’m going to take you fast and hard. I’m not giving my animal any room to doubt, understand? Once you’re marked the wolf and I will be one again.”
Destiny nodded. She didn’t care how it happened, she just needed him. She sawed her legs together in anticipation.
Eyes glued to her, he ripped his shirt over his head, revealing his taut muscles. Her mouth watered to lick, but there’d be time for that later. With jerky movements, he unbuckled his belt and popped the button on his jeans, pushing them to the floor.
“Look at you,” he murmured. “Standing there, gorgeous and ready, and mine. With my young in your belly, ready for my mark. My intended. I can hardly believe it, Dessy.”
She blushed furiously under his perusal. For so long, she’d dreamed of this. She could barely believe it herself. But her cat knew. Her cat had always known. If only she’d had the courage to trust it before.
It struck her as odd that both she and Diz had fought their animals, and for different reasons.
Destiny is stubborn. Push it, and it will push back.
She almost laughed at the irony.
“Can I tell you a secret?” Diz whispered.
She grinned. “Don’t I know them all yet?”
He shook his head. “I always wanted you for my mate. Even before you woke from your coma. I thought you were the most beautiful female I’d ever seen. I sat there, hoping when you woke, our bond would kick in. I’ve never told anyone that. Never said it out loud even to myself.”