perhaps the most fatal to true happiness.
—Bertrand Russell
I sighed, peeled it off the bottle of orange juice, and pressed it into my journal. I called Ren, since he didn’t seem to want to see me other than planned dates, and told him that he was invited to the wushu class. Then I told him flat out what I thought about that idea. He shrugged off my reaction and declared that Li would be an excellent rival and that he was looking forward to meeting him.
Exasperated, I gave up trying to talk him out of it and hung up on him abruptly. He called back several times that day, but I ignored the phone and took a long bubble bath.
That evening, Ren pulled the Hummer out of the garage and came over to pick me up. I really, really, really didn’t want to be in the same room with Li and Ren and couldn’t help feeling grateful that we hadn’t advanced enough yet in wushu to use weapons.
His body filled the doorframe. “Ready? I can’t wait for my first class.”
My sullen silence didn’t seem to faze him at all, and he talked about starting classes at WOU for the entire car ride.
We arrived a few minutes late. Class had already begun, and Jennifer was running through the warm-ups in our corner. Ren walked confidently by my side. Keeping my eyes down, I hurried in, plopped my bag on the floor, and shrugged out of my coat.
I glanced over at Jennifer, who was on the floor stretching her legs. She’d paused in mid-stretch to stare at Ren. Her eyes were practically popping out of their sockets. Li’s stare bored over my head to Ren who returned his gaze boldly and studied Li as if assessing for weaknesses.
Ren took off his jacket, which solicited a squeak from Jennifer who was now totally focused on Ren’s golden-bronze biceps. His perfectly fitted muscle shirt showed off his extremely well-developed arms and chest.
I hissed at him quietly, “For heaven’s sake, Ren! You’re going to give the women heart palpitations!”
His eyebrows lifted up in confusion. “Kells, what are you talking about?”
“You! You’re too—” I gave up in disgust. “Never mind.”
I cleared my throat. “Sorry to interrupt the class, Li. Hey, everybody, this is my guest, Ren. He’s visiting from India.”
Jennifer’s mouth dropped open with a big silent, “Oh!”
Li gave me a questioning look for a moment before he got back to business. He ran us through kicks and forms and seemed thoroughly irritated when he saw that Ren knew every move. Li ordered us to pair up and decided that Ren would partner with Jennifer while he worked with me.
Ren turned toward Jennifer good-naturedly, and she blushed from her feet to the roots of her hair. We were practicing take-downs. Li demonstrated one on me and then asked us all to give it a try. Ren was already talking comfortably with Jennifer, gently guiding her through the move and giving her tips and pointers. Somehow, he’d quickly put her completely at ease. He was very charming and sweet. When she tried to take him down, he fell dramatically and rubbed his neck, causing her to erupt into giggles.
I smiled and thought, Yeah, he has that effect on me too. I was happy that he was being nice to my friend. Suddenly, I found myself flat on my back, staring at fluorescent lights. While I was busy watching Ren and Jennifer, Li had flipped me over hard. I wasn’t really hurt, just a bit surprised. Li’s determined expression immediately changed to regret.
“I’m so sorry, Kelsey. Did I hurt you? I didn’t mean to—”
Before he could finish apologizing, Li was thrown to the mat a few feet away. Ren kneeled over me.
“Did he hurt you, Kells? Are you alright?”
Angry and embarrassed, I hissed, “Ren! I’m fine! Li didn’t hurt me. I just wasn’t paying enough attention. It happens.”
Ren growled, “He should have been more careful.”
I whispered quietly, “I’m fine. And really! Did you have to throw him halfway across the room?”
He grunted and helped me stand up.
Li hustled back over, pointedly ignoring Ren. “Are you okay, Kelsey?”
I put my hand on his arm. “I’m fine. Don’t worry about it. It was my fault for being distracted.”
“Yes. Distracted.” His eyes shifted to Ren briefly. “Good throw, but I’d like to see you try to do that again.”
Ren grinned widely. “Anytime.”
Li smiled back subtly and narrowed his eyes. “Later, then.”
I stood by Jennifer, who was quivering with excitement. She opened her mouth to ask the first of what I was sure were hundreds of questions, and I stuck a finger in the air.
“Hold that thought. I just want to get through class. Then I promise I’ll tell you what’s going on.”
She mouthed, “Promise?”
I nodded.
Jennifer spent the rest of the hour vigilantly watching Ren, Li, and me. I could see the wheels turning in her brain as she listened carefully to every remark and probably categorized every look and casual touch. Li guided us through simple hand forms for the rest of the hour and then abruptly dismissed class. He and Ren seemed to be locked in a staring contest. Both of them had their arms folded across their chests, coldly assessing one another. I walked Jen to the door.
She squeezed my arm. “Your Ren is wonderful. And absolutely yummy. I can see why you had a hard time letting him go. If I were a couple of years younger and wasn’t happily married, I’d lock him up with me and swallow the key. What are you going to do?”
“Ren wants me to date both of them.”
Jennifer’s mouth fell open and I hurried to add, “But I’m not making any decisions yet.”
“This is so exciting! It’s better than my favorite soap opera. Good luck, Kelsey. See you Monday.”
When we were driving home, I asked Ren, “What did you and Li say to each other?”
“Nothing much. I’m going to attend wushu classes, but I have to pay Li’s fee, which he purposely set at an exorbitant amount, thinking that I couldn’t afford it.”
“I don’t like this. I feel like the child in a hostile joint-custody battle.”
He replied softly, “You can date us both or you can break up with Li now. But to be fair, you should give Li at least a week.”
“Ha! What makes you think I’d choose you? Li’s a good guy too!”
Ren rubbed his jaw and said quietly, “Yes. I think he is.”
That comment surprised me, and I quietly thought about it as we drove home. Ren dropped me off, helped me out of the car, and disappeared as usual.
Dating Li, Ren, and Jason at the same time was absolutely ridiculous. It almost felt like I was surrounded by knights jousting for a girl’s favor. As they stomped around in battle armor, sharpened lances, and prepared to mount their horses, I pondered my options. I still had a choice at the end of the day. I could choose the winner, the loser, or none of them. The good news was that it would buy me some time.
I could understand the idea of a romantic rivalry from Ren’s point of view, at least a little. During his century, men probably did battle for females. Surely Ren’s tiger instinct told him to drive off the other males. What I hadn’t expected was Li’s reaction. Who knew that he cared this much? I thought. If Li had just broken up with me, it would have made my part in this little production much easier. Maybe they’d both kill each other in the process, and everybody would die in the end, like in Hamlet.
When we walked into wushu on Monday, Li and Ren seemed to have an unspoken agreement not to look at each other. The class warily watched them, but eventually everyone settled down when nothing happened. Neither Li nor Ren paired up with me anymore.
Li went out of his way to take me to nice dinners and plan elaborate picnics. Ren was content to come over and read with me or watch movies indoors. Kettle corn became his favorite snack, and Ren was an expert at making it. We watched old movies, and afterwards he asked tons of questions. He enjoyed a variety of films, especially Star Wars. He liked Luke and thought that Han Solo was too much of a bad boy.
“He’s not worthy of Princ
ess Leia,” said Ren, which gave me a deeper understanding of his knight-in-shining-armor persona.
On Friday night, Ren and I were about to watch another movie when I remembered I had scheduled a date with Jason. I told Ren he could watch the movie without me. Ren grumbled, then picked up his bag of popcorn, and headed to the microwave.
When I came downstairs in a dark blue dress with strappy shoes and my hair straightened, Ren stood up abruptly and dropped his bowl of popcorn on the floor.
“Why are you dressed like that? Where are you going?”
“Jason’s taking me to a play in Portland. Besides, I thought you had some kind of a chivalrous noninterference policy regarding my dating anyway.”
“When you dress like that, I get to interfere all I want to.”
The doorbell rang, and when I opened it, Ren suddenly moved up behind me to help me into my coat. Jason shifted back and forth very uncomfortably. His eyes darted up to Ren.
“Uh, Jason, this is my friend Ren. He’s visiting from India.”
Ren stuck out his hand and smiled abrasively. “Take good care of my girl, Jason.”
There was a very definite implied “or else” attached to the end of the sentence. Jason gulped.
“Uh-huh. Sure thing.”
I pushed Ren back in the house and shut the door in his face. It was actually a relief being with Jason. I didn’t feel the intense pressure that I now felt with Li and Ren. Not that they were pressuring me. Ren in particular seemed to have infinite patience. I guess that came from his tiger half.
Jason took me to see The Lion King. The costumes and props were amazing, and I caught myself wishing Ren were there with me instead of Jason. Ren would have loved to see how all the animals were portrayed.
After the show, the crowd spilled out onto the sidewalk. People strolled leisurely every which way across the street, forcing cars to edge forward in dangerous spurts as they tried to nudge the patrons along. An elderly lady dropped her playbill in the street and was bending over to pick it up when a car turned the corner.
Without thinking, I ran up in front of the woman and motioned for the car to stop. The driver hit the brakes, but not fast enough. My strappy shoes got caught on a crack in the pavement as I tried to move out of the way. The car bumped me slightly, and I fell over.
Jason ran to help me, and the driver got out. I wasn’t hurt badly. My dress and my pride were damaged, but, other than that, I only had a few scrapes and bruises. A theater photographer ran over to snap some pictures. Jason posed with me in my torn dress and smudged face and provided my name, saying that I was a hero for saving the elderly woman.
Pulling off my broken, strappy shoe in disgust, I made my way to the car. Jason talked excitedly about the accident and thought my picture had a good chance of getting into the theater’s magazine.
He chatted the whole way home about the next term and about the last party he’d gone to. When he pulled up to my house, he didn’t open the door for me. I sighed, thinking, Chivalry is mostly dead in this generation. Jason kept looking at my torn dress and then at the windows. He was probably terrified that Ren would come after him for not taking care of me. I turned in my seat to face him.
“Jason, we need to talk.”
“Sure. What’s up?”
I sighed softly and said, “I think we should stop dating. We don’t have a lot in common. But I’d like to still be friends.”
“Is there someone else?” His eyes darted to the front door again.
“Sort of.”
“Uh-huh. Well, if you change your mind, I’ll be around.”
“Thanks, Jason. You’re a great guy.” A little gutless but still nice.
I kissed him good-bye on the cheek, and he drove off in a pretty good mood.
That wasn’t too bad. I know I won’t get off so easily next time.
I stepped into the house and found another note lying on the kitchen counter next to a small bowl full of kettle corn.
You never lose by loving.
You always lose by holding back.
—Barbara DeAngelis
I’m sensing a theme here. Grabbing a diet cola and the popcorn, I slowly climbed up the stairs carrying my broken, strappy shoes.
One down. And one to go.
7
Back to School
The next morning Ren called to see if we could have breakfast together and watch a movie. I said yes and hung up the phone. My body was a bit sore from my fall, so I popped some aspirin and took a hot shower.
The smell of burnt pancakes wafted up the stairs. I joined Ren in the kitchen. He had bacon sizzling on the stove and was scrambling eggs in a large bowl. My frilly apron was tied around his waist. It was quite a sight.
“I would have come down to help you, Ren,” I said and removed his burnt pancake from the griddle.
“I wanted to surprise you.”
“This is a surprise alright,” I laughed and took over the stove. “What is the peanut butter for?”
“Peanut butter and banana pancakes, of course.”
I laughed. “Really? And how did you come up with that creation?”
“Trial and error.”
“Okay,” I acquiesced. “But you also have to try some pancakes my way, with chocolate chips.”
“Deal.”
When I had a stack of pancakes sufficiently high enough to please Ren, we sat down to eat. He took a big bite of his.
“Well? What do you think?”
“Excellent. But they would be even better with peanut butter and banana.”
I reached out to get the syrup, revealing a long, purple bruise on my arm. Ren immediately noticed and touched my arm gingerly.
“What’s this? What happened to you?”
“What? Oh . . . that. I was trying to prevent an old lady from being hit by an oncoming car that bumped me instead. I fell down.”
Ren jumped off his stool and poked and prodded me, carefully feeling my bones and rotating my joints. “Where does it hurt?”
“Ren! Really, I’m fine. Just some cuts and scrapes. Ow! Don’t push on that!” I slapped him away. “Cut it out! You aren’t my doctor. It’s only a few simple bumps and bruises. Besides, Jason was right there with me.”
“Was he hit by the car too?”
“No.”
“Then he wasn’t right there with you. Next time I see him, he’s going to get some matching bumps and bruises so that he can truly empathize.”
“Ren, stop making threats. It doesn’t matter anyway because I told him I didn’t want to see him anymore.”
Ren cracked a self-satisfied smile. “Good. The boy still needs to learn a few things, though.”
“Well, you aren’t the man who needs to teach him and just for that I get to pick the movie and I’ll warn you right now, I plan on picking the girliest movie I can find.”
He grunted, mumbled something about rivals, bruises, and girls, and went back to his pancakes.
After breakfast, Ren helped me clean up, but mister likes-to-tell-me-what-to-do wasn’t out of the doghouse yet. I inserted the movie, sat next to him with a big grin on my face, and waited for him to squirm. The swelling opening theme for The Sound of Music began and I giggled knowing he’d suffer for the next few hours. The problem was . . . Ren loved it. He put his arm around my shoulders and toyed with the ribbon at the end of my braid. He hummed along to “My Favorite Things” and “Edelweiss.”
He paused the movie in the middle, retrieved his mandolin, and started picking through the song. The mandolin had a more exotic sound than the guitar in the movie.
“It’s beautiful!” I exclaimed. “How long have you played?”
“I took it up again after you left. I always had a good ear for music, and my mother often asked me to play for her.”
“But you picked up “Edelweiss” very quickly. Have you heard it before?”
“No. I’ve just always been able to hear the notes and know how to play them.”
He started playing
“My Favorite Things,” and then the song changed and became a sad but lovely tune. I closed my eyes, leaned my head against the couch, and felt the music take me on a journey. The song started out somber, bleak, and lonely then moved to something hopeful and sweet. My heart felt like it was beating along with the song. Emotions swept over and through me as the song told its story. The end was melancholy and sad. I felt like my heart was breaking. And, that’s where he stopped.
I blinked my eyes open. “What was that? I’ve never heard anything like it before.”
Ren sighed and set the mandolin carefully down on the table. “I wrote it after you left.”
“You wrote that?”
“Yes. It’s called ‘Kelsey.’ It’s about you . . . us. It’s our story together.”
“But it ended sadly.”
He ran a hand through his hair. “That’s the way I felt when you left.”
“Oh. Well, our story isn’t quite over yet now, is it?” I slid over to Ren and wrapped my arms around his neck.
He squeezed me, pressed his face against my neck, whispered my name, and said, “No. It’s definitely not over yet.”
I brushed his hair away from his forehead and said quietly, “It’s beautiful, Ren.”
He held me very close. My heart began to beat faster. I looked into his vivid blue eyes, then at his perfectly sculpted lips, and willed him to kiss me. He dipped his head closer but stopped just short of contact. He studied my expression, raised an eyebrow, and turned away.
“What is it?” I asked.
He sighed and tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. “I’m not going to kiss you while we’re dating.” His eyes studied my face as he went on, “I want you to have a clear head when you choose me. You get all weak-kneed when I touch you, let alone kiss you. I refuse to take advantage of that. A pledge made in a moment of passion isn’t lasting and I don’t want you to have any doubts or any regrets about having a life with me.”
“Wait a minute,” I gasped incredulously. “Let me get this straight. You won’t kiss me because you think your kisses make me too drunk to think straight? That I’d be incapable of making an informed decision if I was swooning with passion for you?”
(Tiger Saga #2) Tiger's Quest Page 9