I was going to tell them all what had happened, and then I was going to kill him. Because of him, I would never be rid of the feeling like I was less than. Because of him I would never take to the skies on my own wings and fly like I was born to do. Because of him, I would never be whole.
He deserved worse.
When I reached the courtyard, I spotted the prospects standing around the Aevian statue. Aaryn was among them, talking to Felice it looked like. Maybe they were asking about me. Maybe they were just talking about how good the weather was tonight; clear skies, crisp, clean air. None of it mattered. Only Draven mattered.
My heart stopped when I saw him, and so did my feet. I swallowed hard and watched him from a distance. For an instant I almost couldn’t believe he had been the man I’d seen in my memories. I doubted myself, wondering if maybe I’d gotten confused. But no, I wasn’t confused. Everything I’d seen was real, even the stuff that I hadn’t been present to witness.
The worst part was, I still blamed myself for everything that happened that night.
The murder of my people.
The sacking of my city.
The removal of my wings.
Everything.
My fingers tightened around the dagger’s handle even harder. Swallowing again, I marched into the courtyard and went through the crowd, heading directly toward Draven. Felice caught sight of me and waved, but I ignored her. She must’ve figured something was up because she made as if to get into my path. That was when I started running.
By the time Draven saw me, I was already close enough to throw my fist into the side of his face. My hand collided with his cheek with a loud crack that made the prospects around me shudder and fall away. Draven staggered, having been caught completely by surprise. He would’ve toppled into the small pool at the foot of the Aevian statue if he hadn’t held his hands out to stop from falling over, but that meant he didn’t have hands to stop me from grabbing him by the collar and pressing my knife against his neck.
“Seline!” he yelled, “What the hell are you doing?”
The words burned against my tongue, but for the longest time they didn’t want to come out. Finally, I found the strength to speak.
“Is it true?” I snarled.
“Is what true?”
“Seline, put the knife down,” Felice said, “This is crazy.”
“Tell them,” I said to Draven, strengthening my hold on his collar. “Tell them what your family did to me!”
“My… family?”
I pressed the knife closer to his neck, so close the tip pierced his skin slightly, drawing a bead of blood. “I swear to all the Gods, Draven, if you try to deny any of this, I’m going to straight up murder you in front of all these people. I don’t care what’ll happen to me after, but I’ll at least have the satisfaction of taking you into hell with me. Now, answer the fucking question. Is it true?”
Draven stared at me, his black eyes catching the glow from my hair. It was burning brighter than it ever had, now; so much so it looked like white fire against his eyes. “It’s true…” he said.
A hot tear streamed down the side of my face. My hand trembled; both of them did. I didn’t know what to do next, I hadn’t planned this far. My head was pounding, my world was shattering, but the worst part was, my heart was breaking. I couldn’t remember the last time I felt for anyone the things I felt about Draven, and he’d hurt me more than anyone.
“You bastard,” I growled. “You fucking bastard.”
“Could someone tell me what’s going on here?” Aaryn asked. She’d gotten close, but not too close. She clearly didn’t want to set me off or make me do anything we would all regret. Too bad for her, that wasn’t her call to make. I was the one holding the knife.
“I’ll tell you what happened,” I said, keeping my eyes on the man underneath me, “Draven is a lying, worthless coward who will sell all of us out if it means accomplishing his goals.”
“That’s not true,” he said.
“Oh, yes, go ahead. Defend yourself. Defend your involvement in the destruction of my home. Defend your decision to stand by and do nothing while your men cut off my wings.”
A gasp rippled through the crowd assembled behind me, then silence. There were no murmurs, no whispers; not even from Ferrum, who usually had something to say. I figured he’d be enjoying this. It would just give him more ammunition to use against me in the future; not that he’d get the chance. I probably wasn’t going to make it out of this alive.
“I didn’t know they were going to do that to you,” Draven said, wincing as the blade at his neck continued taking little nips out of his skin.
“Didn’t you? I find that a little hard to believe since it was you who let your company of barbarians into my castle. What did you think they were going to do to the daughter of the king? Hold me hostage?”
“They lied to me. They told me—”
“—told you what? That they were just going to interrogate me?”
“They told me your father had desecrated my father and brother!”
I stared at him hard, my eyes trained on his. “Desecrated?”
“Cut off their wings. That’s what they told me.”
“So, you let them have mine?”
“I was angry! I let them into the city, yes, but I didn’t know they were going to do that to you. I thought they were going to capture the royal family and use you to force your father to retreat from our territories.”
“You thought wrong. And you’re damn right you were lied to. My father was an honorable and just king. He never would’ve done what your people did to me. Not to anyone. Ever. I can’t believe just how fucking stupid you were, that you’d take the word of your soldiers over mine.” More tears, now. “I loved you… I was in love with you, and you watched while your men sliced my wings from my shoulders and tossed me over the side of my city. You watched while they sentenced me to die from my injuries, or live a life on the ground, denied of my birthright, of my ability to fly.”
“You didn’t die, Seline… and I’m thankful for that every day.”
“Well I’m not!” I screamed into his face, hot tears now flooding my cheeks. “Do you know what it’s like knowing you’ll never be who you were supposed to be?”
He shook his head and. “I’m sorry…” he said, his voice low, “I’m so sorry… take my wings, I don’t care. I’ll do anything to make this right.”
I stared at him, carefully figuring out my next move, trying to gain as much clarity as possible. I sucked in a deep breath, pulled the knife away from his throat and held it up. “You can die,” I snarled, and I plunged the dagger toward him.
It was Felice who saved Draven’s life. She grabbed my arm just as the knife reached his neck and pulled me away from him. Chaos erupted around me, then, as other gold prospects tried to keep me away from Draven. Aaryn stepped between us, her hands stretched, now looking like she wanted to try to mediate.
“This was not the time and place to do this, Seline,” she said.
“That’s easy for you to say,” I said, once my nerves had settled.
“You are all on the verge of completing your gold trials and becoming full members of the Order. You and Draven can settle your differences in private, but the trials must continue.”
“Fuck you, fuck the trials, and fuck the Order.” I shrugged out of Felice’s grip, turned around, and marched away from the courtyard.
Silence followed me out. There wasn’t a single voice talking about what had just happened, not even the crickets were singing. I saw Rey sitting quietly on a window-ledge inside the castle. He didn’t speak, and neither did I. Instead, I walked past him, keeping my head down.
“Seline, wait,” Felice called out.
I didn’t stop. “What do you want?” I asked.
“I’m coming with you. Fuck this place.”
“I don’t think you know what you’re getting into.”
“I’m a big girl. I can make my own decisions. Out
of curiosity, though… what are you gonna do?”
I stopped and turned around to look at Felice. “I have no fucking idea.”
Bastet stared at Felice, her eyes low, her body poised to attack at the drop of a hat. Felice could’ve tried a little harder to make Bastet a little more comfortable, but she wasn’t one to back away from a stare-down. It was like watching two cats with their ears pinned back and their hackles raised.
“Seriously, guys,” I said, “It’s been, like, five minutes. Can someone say something?”
“Don’t you know how a staredown works?” Felice asked, not breaking eye contact.
“Yeah, of course I do, but why do you need to have one?”
“Schhh, pretty,” Bastet said, “The grownups are talking.”
I rolled my eyes, and there, in my periphery, I caught sight of a small silver tabby helping himself to a bowl of tuna that had been set out on a kitchen counter. That little shit. I was about to say something to him, when Felice spoke.
“I like her,” she said. “You don’t back down.”
“Neither do you,” Bastet said, “Your kind are always so interesting, so colorful.”
“Are we friends now?” I asked, “Can we chill? I’ve kind of had a terrible day.”
The two women breathed deep breaths and relaxed into their seats. Blinking, Bastet turned her head to look at me, her expression softening. “I can see it written all over your face, sweetness. What happened to you?”
I shook my head. “I didn’t come here for a pity party, I came here to get away from all the bullshit.”
“If you don’t want to tell me what happened to you, I don’t know how I can help.”
“For once, I didn’t actually come here to ask for anything. You’re… the only person I know in the city who was least likely to turn me away.”
“I think very unlikely is more accurate, kitten. Why would I turn you away?”
“Because your kind hates our kind?” Felice said, phrasing it as more of a question. She was being careful with the way she acted.
“I think hate is a very strong word,” Bastet said, “It’s more like… we have a natural dislike for each other.” She shrugged. “It’s natural. You’re foreign invaders to our world.”
“Invaders?” I asked. “I didn’t ask to come here.”
“I’m not saying that’s what the truth is, I’m only saying that’s what it feels like in here.” She tapped her heart. “Just like your instinct is to protect yourself and your people at all costs, ours is the same… with the added feeling of being attacked by aliens.”
“Aliens, invaders, others,” Felice said, “You guys really do have a lot of fun words for us, don’t you?”
“Don’t get your panties in a bunch. I don’t think I’m saying anything you don’t already know.”
I shook my head. “You aren’t.” I sighed. “It’s bullshit. I’m so sick of fighting people… a few months ago it was just me and Fate, living in our apartment, eating shitty food and wasting the days away watching TV. Now, there’s rifts and Aevians, and killer labyrinths, and stones…”
“You have to admit,” Bastet said, touching the side of her nose, “The latter makes for a more exciting life, don’t you think?
“Why do exciting and dangerous have to go hand in hand?”
The mage shrugged. “I’ve lived a long life. I’ve learned a thing or two about danger along the way.”
“Oh yeah? And what’s that?” Felice asked.
“Not all danger is lethal, and that kind of danger is the most exciting kind.”
I stared at her and cocked my head to the side. “You know, I really wish I had your outlook sometimes. It really doesn’t look like anything surprises you.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. Life surprises me every single day, but only because I let it. If I surrounded myself in the mundane, if I closed myself off to danger and excitement just because I was worried I’d die, or I preferred the thought of being comfortable and safe… I wouldn’t come across half the shit I find that makes life worth living. What’s the point of living in a box if all you’ll see are the same four walls?”
She pointed at a closed cabinet, and the cabinet started to tremble. From inside I could hear glasses and mugs clinking together. One of them seemed like it jumped, making a loud thumping noise. I stared at the cabinet, eyes wide.
“Did you do that?” I asked.
Bastet sighed. “No, that’s just my noisy housemates. They get riled up sometimes.”
“That’s an external wall,” Felice said, “What housemates?”
“Yeah, and there’s a padlock on that thing,” I said, “What’s up with that?”
“My housemates inside the cabinet, silly. Anyway, don’t you worry about what I keep in that box. They might not like it in there, but that’s where they have to stay.”
It sounded like she’d raised her voice to say that last part… who was she talking to?
“I wouldn’t mind living in a box sometimes,” Felice said, “People suck. Sometimes I wish they’d all just get on with dying already so I don’t have to listen to their whining.”
I stared at Felice, frowning. “That’s dark…”
“But also true. I mean, don’t you wish you didn’t have to deal with Draven and all the other idiots at the Order?”
Hearing his name made my spine crawl. Flashes of what had happened to me in my own home flooded my thoughts. I shut my eyes, a reflex everyone has, to stop themselves from seeing things they didn’t want to see, but the memories came regardless. I almost wished I hadn’t dug into them. Living without those memories for the past ten years had been a blessing in disguise.
Why’d I have to listen to that damn cat?
“I know you’re trying to hide your pain,” Bastet said, “But trust me, kitten, you’re broadcasting it loud and clear.”
I stared at her and swallowed, trying hard to fight the hurt from showing on my face. “I didn’t come here to show you my hurt.”
“I know… but I also know why you really came, and it’s related.”
“How can you possibly know?” Felice asked, “Seline hasn’t said a word about what happened to her.”
“This kitty-cat’s senses are pretty sharp, little birdie.”
“Little bird…” Felice, trailing off, shook her head.
I locked eyes with Bastet. “Alright,” I said, “Why did I come?”
“You came because you’re lost. You learned what happened to you in a past life, and now everything you thought was important to you means nothing. You now have no reason to fight, no reason to push forward and do what you know in your heart you need to do.”
“And what’s that?”
She shook her head. “I can’t tell you. You have to find out on your own, though I think you already know the answer to that question… what I can tell you is, you can’t abandon the fight yet, Seline. It’s not over.”
“I’m done with it, Bastet. You don’t understand.”
“Because I’ve never been hurt like you have? Oh, baby, I have been hurt. I have been rejected. I have been used and thrown aside like a dead rat. But I never ran away from something that was important. I mean really important. I know you’re not that person either.”
I swallowed. Shook my head. “I can’t. Not after what they did.”
“He won’t stop until he’s got all the stones… he already has two of two of them.”
My breath caught in my throat. What did she say?
“Two?” Felice asked, “I thought he only had one.”
Bastet shook her head. “Our little grey bird has been busy… and he’s going to give it to Slade. Tonight. Or at least, that’s what he thinks. He’s always been a bit of an idiot. Very naïve for a mage.”
“How…” I started to say, “How do you know any of this?”
“Because I know more about the stones than you know…” she turned her eyes down, shut them, and pressed her lips into a thin line. “Seline… th
ey hurt you, but they need you now more than ever. Don’t punish the many innocent people who will get hurt if you aren’t able to stop Valoel just because something terrible was done to you. Let the past live in the past.”
Silence hung between us, a silence filled only with the backdrop sounds of New York and the apartment around us. Police sirens in the distance. People talking through the thin walls. Cats eating at their bowls, or purring at our feet.
“What aren’t you telling us?” Felice asked.
Bastet looked at her. “Lots of things.”
“Why keep anything from us if you want us to get back into the fight?”
“Because I don’t have anything to tell you that will help you… trust me, if I thought I could help, I would.”
“You’re a mage, right? You have a whole bunch of power you could be helping us with, but you’re hiding out here with your cats.”
“I’m not hiding out. I’m waiting.”
“Waiting for what?”
“It doesn’t matter,” I said, standing up. “She’s right, Felice… we can’t just run away.”
Felice rolled her eyes. “It’d be great if you could make up your mind.”
“I know, but it was wrong of us to just leave like that.”
“I think under the circumstances, you’re probably justified in storming out. I would’ve if I’d learned what you learned. Probably would’ve broken a few noses, too.”
“The meeting with Valoel is happening tonight. I don’t think Valoel is really gonna part with the stones, which means he has something else up his sleeve. I don’t know what it is, but it’s not gonna be good. And if this guy, Slade, is involved? It’s going to be doubly dangerous.”
“You really think so, huh…”
“I do. I met him, and there was something about him I didn’t like. It wasn’t that he was slimy or way too keen on getting into my pants, there was something else about him. He just had a treacherous vibe.”
“A treacherous vibe. I like that.”
The Obsidian Order Boxed Set Page 53