“Whatever you say…”
“If I were just in love with your package, I wouldn’t be having dinner with you. I’d get my action and then take off.” She’d already eaten half of her food, and she was still going. “Keep that in mind.”
“That’s a good point. I don’t have dinner with women either.”
“Never?” she asked incredulously.
I shook my head. “I don’t think I’ve ever cooked for a woman before.”
“Not even Titan?” she asked in surprise.
“Well, except for her. But that’s a different situation.”
“Because she’s the only woman you’ve ever loved?”
“Uh…” I didn’t like the way she phrased that. It made me sound like a pussy. “No. Because we would work late at my place, and I would just whip something up. It wasn’t really romantic…”
She swirled her wine before she took a drink, her mood suddenly diving. “I know it’s hard right now, but it’ll get easier.”
Huh? What was she talking about? “What will get easier?”
“Getting over her.” She started to push her food around, obviously no longer hungry. Her eyes turned down to her food for a while before she raised them again.
My immediate response was to laugh at the absurdity of her words. I couldn’t get over Titan because I never felt a romantic feeling toward her. I wanted to blurt that out and tell her I’d never loved a woman in all my life. Just when I decided to, she kept talking.
“I’ve been through something similar. It’s one of those things that takes time. It’s different for everyone. Some people immediately bounce back, and some people don’t.” Her eyes were filled with painful memories, and her somberness escaped in her tone. The indications were subtle, but since I paid such attention to her, the signs were obvious to me.
Now I didn’t care about setting the record straight. All I cared about was what caused her to feel so much anguish. How could a man leave her for someone else when she was absolutely perfect? The guy would have to be insane. “You have?”
“Yeah.” She set her utensils down, obviously finished eating. “It’s been a few years now. But for the first six months, I was pretty upset about it. As time passed, it got easier. I’m in a good place now, and I’m very happy. But I’m so happy that I’m scared to lose it again. So that makes it impossible to trust anyone. I’m not sure if I’ll ever want to be in a relationship again. Not when it seems so risky.”
My heart tightened in pain, and I ached for this woman. I never wanted her to be sad. I never wanted her to be so hurt that she couldn’t trust again. Whoever this guy was, I knew he would regret his decision someday—big-time. “What happened?”
“The specifics don’t matter. I was in love with this guy, and we were happy together. He started a new job, met someone there, and unfortunately, it just happened. It wasn’t a situation where he was sneaking around behind my back and lying about where he was. He told me he was attracted to her. A month later, he left his job because he couldn’t be around her anymore. But that was when he realized that whatever they had was something he couldn’t ignore. So he left…” She said all of it with surprising strength, but there was a hint of the years of pain that she endured. “Months went by, and I constantly questioned if I was the problem. If I’d done my hair differently or worked out more, would he have stayed? But in the end, I knew it was out of my control. Perhaps this woman was his soul mate, and there was nothing either of us could have done about it. I saw him about eight months ago. They’re married and have a young daughter together. It took me a long time to look him in the eye and say I was happy for him…but I am happy for him.”
She was a lot more understanding than I was. I wanted to crush this guy’s skull with my bare hands. How could he possibly think this other woman was better than Autumn? How could he walk away from such a remarkable woman? “I’m sorry, Autumn.”
“Don’t be. It took me a long time to understand that being young is about finding the right person. I obviously wasn’t the right person for him, and he followed his instincts. He was always honest with me, so how could I hate him? I know the whole thing caused him pain too.”
Not enough pain, if you asked me.
“But now that I’m happy on my own, I don’t want to go down that road again. Being by myself feels a lot safer. I’m very protective of my happiness, and I’m not sure if I could risk it for someone again…”
Her perspective made complete sense to me. She’d loved a man, but that love wasn’t good enough for him. That kind of rejection stung forever. But I didn’t want to feel that way, to feel scared of loving someone. “You shouldn’t give up. He wasn’t the man you’re supposed to be with, because the real guy is still out there somewhere.”
“Maybe…maybe not.” Her eyes drifted away, leaving the conversation as her thoughts swirled behind her eyes.
I abandoned my food because I lost my appetite. Her pain shocked my whole system so I wasn’t interested in my dinner, no matter how good it was. Now I wanted to make her feel better, to do anything to pull her from this misery. “He made the biggest mistake of his life, Autumn.”
“I’ve seen them together, and I don’t think he did.” A soft smile formed on her lips. “I guess that’s why I’m okay with it. I wouldn’t go out of my way to be nice to the woman he married the way you are with Diesel…but I don’t hate her.”
Now I felt like a jerk for lying to her. She only told me that story because she thought I was going through the same thing. I wanted to correct her, but I thought that might embarrass her. I didn’t know what to do, so I didn’t do anything. “Thanks for telling me…”
“I see the way you are with Titan, and I know you’re going through it too. But it must be hard to see the love of your life on a regular basis…”
I hid my cringe as best as I could. “It’s…it’s not as intense as you think it is.”
“And I understand why you don’t want a relationship either. I can’t blame you. Having good sex with someone with no expectations is a lot easier. You don’t get your hopes up, you don’t get your trust up, and you know the arrangement has a deadline. It takes all the emotional bullshit out of it.”
I wanted the same thing, but for different reasons. I was incapable of love, so I just wanted lust. I’d never had my heart broken because I couldn’t fall in love in the first place. If I told her that, she would think I was crazy—as she should. “Do you want to have a family?”
“I do…eventually. I’m not sure how right now, but I’ve always wanted kids.”
That was something I wanted too, to have my own family. I needed a wife for that, but without love, I would never find anyone, unless it was a mail-order bride. Titan was different because she had the same desires I did.
But then I realized Autumn did too.
She wanted the exact same thing…
Autumn turned back to me, and her eyes narrowed as she looked into mine. “What?”
I knew she was commenting on the new expression I wore, the brightness in my eyes at my discovery. I didn’t know what to do with this information because I’d just uncovered it, but I definitely wanted to put it to use—just not right now. “Nothing.”
Chapter Six
Vincent
I arrived at the restaurant first and sat there alone. A single candle flickered in the center of the table, and a bottle of my favorite wine was there. My glass had been poured, but I didn’t drink from it because it felt rude to start without her.
I never offered to pick up Scarlet because that felt too intimate.
Like it was a date.
I wasn’t sure what this was. Up until that point, I hadn’t been really thinking about my actions that much. I was just doing things…doing things that I wanted to do. I knew I enjoyed Scarlet’s company so I kept requesting more of her time even though I had no idea where it would go.
I wasn’t sure if I wanted it to go anywhere.
It was easy for me t
o bed women like Alessia because I knew it was meaningless. It wasn’t like I loved any of the women who came after Isabella. They were warm bodies in my sheets, beautiful women to satisfy my physical needs. I was a sexual man, even at my age in life. But I didn’t feel ashamed for those necessities.
No one judged me for that.
But to actually care about someone…that was different.
I hadn’t done more than shake Scarlet’s hand, but I felt like I’d already touched her everywhere.
It felt wrong.
It felt right.
I didn’t notice her approach because I was too busy wrestling with my own guilt. I wanted to justify what I was doing, but there was no excuse to mask what was really happening.
I liked Scarlet.
I rose to my feet just as she reached the table. She was in a sweetheart-top black dress that was tight around her waist. It stopped just above her knee, and her black pumps gave her a few extra inches. Her hair was pulled back, revealing the beautiful skin of her neck and chest. She looked beautiful in a classic way, but she also looked stunning in other ways…
In ways that made me wonder how that olive skin would look against my sheets.
I’d been attracted to other women before, even strongly.
But my attraction to Scarlet was much more intense—in a lot of ways. “You look lovely.”
“Thank you.” She wore earrings dangling from her lobes, and they caught the light every time she shifted slightly. “You look nice too.”
I pulled out the chair for her then moved to the other side of the table. I didn’t even touch her waist or greet her with a hug. I avoided touching her at all costs, like she was fire and my fingers might get burned.
“Wine?” I held up the bottle.
“Please.”
I poured her a glass then set the bottle on the other side of the table. There was already a basket of bread, but I hadn’t touched anything because it would have been rude. But then again, I didn’t eat bread so it wouldn’t have mattered.
She placed her clutch at the edge of the table then picked up the menu. “I haven’t been here before, but I hear good things.”
“I’ve had a few meetings here. The food is great, and the service is quick.”
Her eyes browsed the selections. “Any recommendations?”
“The duck is exquisite. But the tenderloin is also good. If you’re looking for something on the healthier side, they have a great vegan option. I’ve had that for lunch a few times.”
She smiled as she kept looking. “Well, I’m not looking for anything healthy. When I go out to dinner, I make the most out of it.” She chuckled and didn’t lift up her gaze.
I was glad she didn’t because I got to enjoy the view of her. She’d just had her nails done, a classy French tip look. Her eye makeup was different, but I couldn’t explain how. I loved the way she enjoyed herself rather than starved herself. Alessia always got a salad and an ice water. She didn’t even drink wine most of the time because of the sugar and calories.
Made our dates a little boring.
“Then what are you getting?”
“Carbs.”
I almost chuckled.
“I’m getting the pasta.” She finally shut the menu. “What about you?”
“I don’t want to say.”
“Why not?” She wrapped her fingers around the stem of the wine glass.
“I guess I don’t make the most out of dinners like you do.”
Her smile hadn’t faded away. “Please don’t tell me you’re getting a salad.”
I shrugged in guilt.
“Come on, live a little.” She took a drink, her lipstick immediately sticking to the glass.
“I’ve noticed it’s harder to keep my appearance up as I’ve aged.”
“I know that all too well,” she said. “Especially after I had my daughter. But sometimes, you just have to stop caring.”
I’d always been fit since I was in my twenties. Physical exercise and diet had become an essential part of my routine. Since I didn’t have a wife to cook for me, it was easy to stick to a clean diet. I wouldn’t land women like Alessia if I didn’t keep a strong figure. “It’s hard for me not to care.”
“Because you’re one of the sexiest bachelors in the city? Or the country, for that matter?”
I didn’t view myself in that light, but I was flattered she did. “You think that?”
She laughed like my question was absurd. “You’re a very good-looking man, Vincent. You brush your teeth in the mirror every day…you must know this.”
I was aware of my charms, but I was happy she was aware of them too. “I’m flattered.”
“You shouldn’t be. It’s the truth.”
The waiter arrived and took our order.
I let Scarlet go first.
“I’ll take the pasta—extra cheese.” She handed the menu over.
The corner of my mouth rose in a smile.
“And you, Mr. Hunt?” the waiter asked, recognizing me like most other people.
Scarlet sipped her wine as she watched me.
I handed the menu over. “Give me the same thing—just not the extra cheese.”
“Very good, sir.” He walked away.
Scarlet was grinning from ear to ear. “Now, that’s more like it.”
When we finished dinner, we left the restaurant and reached the sidewalk. My driver immediately pulled up in my car and parked at the curb, aware of my movements at all times. I texted him two minutes ahead of time, and he was always at the right spot by the time I needed him.
“Thank you for dinner.” Scarlet held her clutch in her hand and walked slowly beside me, her heels clapping against the concrete. “I hope you don’t regret skipping the salad.”
“Not even a little bit.” It was okay to cheat once in a while.
“Good. I definitely don’t regret it.” She rubbed her flat stomach and stopped in front of my car.
“Can I give you a ride home?”
“Yes, thank you.” I opened the back door for her and helped her inside. Then I sat beside her and closed the divider between the driver and us. Scarlet gave him the address over the speaker, and then we were moving through the streets.
I hadn’t put up the divider because I planned on doing anything inappropriate. I just wanted some privacy. I wanted to be able to talk to her without someone listening in. Ironically, we didn’t say anything on the trip to her apartment. I’d dropped her off before but had never been inside the building. She lived in a good part of town. It wasn’t anything like where Diesel and I lived, but it was definitely nice.
My driver pulled up to the curb, and I got out first. I gave her my hand so she could use it for balance as she slid her beautiful legs out of the car. She stepped on the sidewalk then held herself perfectly straight.
I shut the back door and walked her to the front door of her building. “I had a great time tonight.”
“Me too.”
I opened the door and held it open so she could walk inside.
But she didn’t cross the threshold. “I always have a nice time with you, Vincent. You’re very easy to talk to.”
“Thanks. I think the same about you.”
Her eyes shifted back and forth slightly as she looked at me, the green color of her eyes reflecting the fluorescent lights from inside the building. A few strands of her hair came loose, floating in the slight breeze that billowed through the city. As the silence passed, it didn’t seem like she was going to walk inside. It seemed like she wanted to stay out there with me…in the cold.
Then she leaned into me, rising on the tips of her toes, and pressed a kiss to the corner of my mouth.
I closed my eyes when I felt her warm lips, felt the softness I’d been thinking about for a week. My hand stayed on the door, and I kissed her back, my movements just as slow as hers. She kissed me like she didn’t know what would happen once she touched me. I kissed her with the same hesitance, like I crossed an invisible l
ine I’d never crossed before.
She pulled away, her eyes lidded with the spark that erupted between our mouths. “Would you like to come up?”
The question stunned me even when it shouldn’t. I’d been going out of my way to see her for weeks now without actually asking her on a date. I called her assistant just to figure out how she preferred her coffee. I willingly told her things I wouldn’t have told another reporter. It was obvious how I felt about this woman—and now it was obvious to her.
I didn’t know if this invitation was just for coffee after dinner, but I suspected that wasn’t the case. As enticing as it was to finish that kiss we just had, something held me back. It was fear, guilt, and a lot of other things. “I would love to…but I don’t think I’m ready for that.”
“Oh…” She couldn’t mask her disappointment. The embarrassment formed in her eyes, the rejection stinging her.
I didn’t want to make her feel bad, but I couldn’t go up there. There was too much guilt in my chest, too much pain. “Good night, Scarlet.” I leaned and kissed her on the cheek. Then I turned away and headed back to the car without looking back.
I got into the back seat and told my driver to immediately pull away. That way I wouldn’t have to see if she was still standing there. The darkness of the back seat surrounded me, and the classical music overhead blocked out some of my thoughts—but not all.
All I could think about was the empty penthouse I was about to return to.
I didn’t want to be there.
I wanted to be in Scarlet’s apartment.
But the guilt kept me away.
Tatum moved into my arms and gave me a strong squeeze.
I hugged her back, immediately smiling at the affection she just gave me. It was the best I’d ever seen her, the most I’d seen her move. She hugged me hard like there wasn’t anything restraining her anymore.
“You look great,” I said into her hair.
“I feel great.” She pulled away then rubbed her hand across the left side of her chest. “My stitches were finally removed.”
“That’s great, Tatum. I’m very happy to hear that.”
Boss Rules Page 7