“It’ll be great, Titan. Autumn is the supergenius you need to rise to the next level.”
“I sincerely hope you’re right.” She finally looked at me again, calm but irritated.
We’d gotten through the first obstacle. Hopefully, we’d get through the next one. “There’s something else…”
She sighed in preparation.
“We’d been spending a lot of time together, and she believed the romance you and I had. It came up a lot, and she told me something very personal about herself because of it. Her opinion of you started to change because she couldn’t understand why you would ask me to give you away…or why you want me at your wedding at all. She kept evaluating the situation critically and couldn’t come up with a better explanation other than you’re a sadist and a psychopath…so I told her the truth.”
Now she let out a growl. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
I slid my hands into my pockets and shrugged. “I didn’t have any other choice.”
“Yes, you did,” she snapped. “You could have just not said anything.”
“Titan, you were the one taking the hit to your reputation. It would have affected your working relationship with her.”
“Which never would have happened in the first place if you hadn’t started fucking her.” Now the fire couldn’t be put out, and she was livid. She’d kept her calmness for the first part of the conversation, but all civility was out the window. “Thorn, you can have any other woman in this damn city.”
“Well, I don’t want anyone else.”
As if a bucket of water had been dumped over her head, the blazing fire was immediately snuffed out.
“I understand why you’re upset, and it was a stupid decision on my part. But you accepted my engagement and made me look like a damn idiot to the entire world. I still get strange looks when I go out.”
Her eyes immediately fell in guilt.
“So this makes us even. You fucked up, and now I fucked up. Truce?”
She lowered her hands to her sides, her sigh accompanying the disappearance of anger. “Truce.”
Never thought I’d be happy that she screwed me over in front of the entire world, but now it had paid off. I just cashed in my get-out-of-jail-free card. But that was my one lifeline. It couldn’t have been better sent.
“Correct me if I’m wrong, but it sounds like you actually like this woman.”
“I do like her.”
She stepped closer to me, treating me with the softness she showed earlier that day when we designed her wedding dress. “You know what I mean? I’ve never heard you say you like someone. You usually just like her ass or something.”
“I do like Autumn’s ass…but I like everything else too.”
Titan stared at me with that knowing gaze, looking right through me like an X-ray machine. “Is she the real deal?”
“I don’t know, Titan. Right now, all I know is I like being with her, and I want to keep seeing her.”
“Monogamously?” She cocked an eyebrow.
“Yes.”
Her eyebrow relaxed, but her smile widened. “This is a first.”
“I’ll probably get bored with her like I do with everyone else. But for now, I’m happy where I am.”
She returned to her seat on the couch and grabbed her water. “If I could, I’d be having a long drink with you. The water will have to do. So tell me all the details.”
“Come on, I don’t kiss and tell.”
She almost choked on her water when she laughed. “No, all you ever do is kiss and tell.”
“But not in a situation like this. You work with her. It’s inappropriate.”
“Thorn, I’m your best friend. You tell me about all the others.”
“The others are different.”
“Because?”
“I don’t care about them.”
As if she’d just discovered a piece of gold no one else noticed just yet, she smiled. “I guess that’s everything I need to know…”
“Don’t get your hopes up.”
“Too late.”
“Because nothing has changed.”
“Everything has changed. The second you stopped wearing a condom, the second you didn’t confide the details to your best friend, and the second you told me about her was the moment it became different. But different isn’t a bad thing, Thorn. I always hoped you would find someone just like I have. There’s no greater feeling in the world.”
I saw the way they looked at each other almost every day. I saw the unflinching loyalty they had for each other. I saw their love grow as the year passed, their love deepening and never shaking despite the obstacles in their way. Anyone who found that kind of love was very lucky.
But would I be one of them?
“I’m going to give you some advice, and you better take it.”
“I didn’t ask for any,” I countered.
“Too bad, you’re going to listen to me.”
I rolled my eyes. “Advice from a woman who’s been in one relationship her entire life…”
“One phenomenal relationship,” she said. “And this is my advice. Be honest with her.”
“Titan, when am I not honest? I give it so straight it makes people dislike me.”
“Not honest in that way.”
“Then what way?” I finished the rest of my whiskey before I wiped my mouth.
“Be honest about what the way you feel.” She placed her hand over her heart. “Don’t downplay your feelings. Don’t tell her you want to see other people if you don’t. Don’t tell her you aren’t into it just because you’re scared. Put it all out there.”
I looked away and didn’t respond to her statement. Titan wanted the best for me, so she turned optimistic. She didn’t want me to be alone for the rest of my life, not that I wanted to either. “I was actually thinking about asking her something else…”
“What?” Titan asked.
“I was thinking about asking her if she wanted to have the same arrangement you and I had…”
“Why would she agree to that?”
“Because she wants the good stuff that goes with it, but not all the bad.”
“Or you could just try to have something real…”
“And maybe we will…but maybe we could do it in a different way. She’s afraid to get hurt, and I want some security. I’m getting older, and I want to have a partner. What better partner than a woman you’re doing business with. She has a lot to offer, and she would be a great person to join my holdings with. And with kids…she’d make some beautiful ones.”
“I guess I see what you mean.”
“And maybe we’ll fall in love on the way…maybe we won’t. But no matter what, we’ll be left with a relationship based on friendship, trust, and loyalty. And those are things that always last longer than love.”
Chapter Nine
Vincent
The elevator doors opened, and I stepped inside the penthouse Tatum and my son occupied together. Now that they were getting married in a little over a week, I suspected some things would change.
But others would stay the same.
Nothing made me happier than seeing the way Tatum crossed the room so easily to hug me. She hugged me with a tight squeeze, not flinching from the pain in her chest. She seemed to be back to perfect health, so strong that it didn’t seem like she’d been shot in the first place. Tragedies like the one she endured usually changed people.
It didn’t change her at all.
“You look lovely, Tatum.” When I pulled away, I glanced down at her ring. I used to see Isabella wear it every single day, but then it disappeared into the black hole of my nightstand. To see it on Tatum’s hand brought me different kind of joy. It made it feel like Isabella was still here, welcoming in the daughter she never got to meet.
“Thanks, Vincent. Can I get you anything?”
“Just some water will be fine.”
Titan retrieved a glass from the kitchen and carried it to the coffee
table. “How have you been?”
“Making arrangements at work for my vacation time.”
“I hope the wedding isn’t too much of an inconvenience to you.”
“Not at all.” I sat on the couch, opening my coat button as I bent my body to sit. “I just have to be prepared. I work so I can have a life. I don’t live to work. Big difference.”
“And an important difference.” She had a glass of water herself, but she didn’t take a drink. Her lips were painted with her usual lipstick and she was in a black dress she would normally wear to the office, but she hadn’t returned to work—to the best of my knowledge. “So, were you planning on bringing a date?” she asked. “So I can notify the wedding planner?”
I immediately broke eye contact, Scarlet’s beautiful face coming into my mind. Her dark hair framed her face perfectly, and the slender lines of her neck made me want to kiss her everywhere. A week had come and gone, and I hadn’t spoken to her. I wasn’t sure why I expected her to call, not after the painful conversation we had. She accepted my departure with dignity and elegance, and that just made me want her more. She was a strong woman, the kind that didn’t appear weak in front of anyone. She refused to let me hurt her, and that made me respect her. “No.”
“Oh…that’s too bad.”
“Yeah.” I drank my water, feeling the cool liquid moisten my dry throat.
“You haven’t seen anyone in a while, then?”
Diesel wasn’t around, so this conversation didn’t feel so awkward. I felt like I could tell Titan things I couldn’t say to my sons. Maybe it was because she was a woman. “No, not really. I was kinda seeing this woman from Platform magazine…but it didn’t work out.”
Her eyes narrowed on my face, and she cocked her head to the side. Nothing about what I said was particularly alarming, but the words obviously meant something to her. She leaned over the coffee table and picked up the very edition that had me slapped on the cover. “Scarlet Blackwood?”
I could only assume she’d read the article. “Yes.”
“Vincent…she’s really into you.”
I read the article that was published, and while it was filled with flattery, I didn’t think our romantic connection was obvious. “You’re reading too much into it.”
“No, I’m not.” She set it down again. “I thought it when I read it, but now that I know you dated her…it’s obvious.”
My hands came together, the veins on the backs of my knuckles firm. Thinking about Scarlet bummed me out, but the idea of calling her filled me with guilt. No matter what I did, I was doomed.
“Why did you start seeing each other?”
I shrugged as I searched for an explanation. “It was too complicated.”
“Complicated how?” she asked. “I’ve always heard Scarlet is a wonderful editor and an even more incredible person. You can judge someone’s character based on what their employees think of them. And they have nothing but good things to say about her.”
“Not surprising…”
Her eyes narrowed again, and this time, a smile accompanied it. “So you did like her?”
I knew I should shut up. “She’s a lovely woman. Very poised, polite, interesting…”
“Then why don’t you keep seeing her?”
I rubbed my fingers against the scruff along my jaw. I hadn’t shaved in five days. The motivation to preserve my appearance had disappeared.
“She’s in her forties, right?”
“Yeah…forty-two.”
“So she’s the first woman you’ve dated that’s your own age.”
“Not quite,” I said with a chuckle. “I wish I was still in my forties.”
“What did you guys do together?”
If I really wanted this conversation to halt, all I had to do was stop answering her questions. Or I could make an excuse and leave. Even just telling her that my personal life was none of her business would suffice. But I didn’t want to do any of those things. I guess I wanted to keep talking about it. “We went to breakfast after I bumped into her one night. Then we went to the MET together before it opened…had dinner together. I enjoyed her company.” I just enjoyed it a little too much.
“How long has this been going on for?”
“A few weeks,” I answered. “We originally met so we could talk about the article, but our conversation went off on a lot of different tangents. Then we weren’t talking about the article anymore, just having a real conversation. She has a daughter who’s in nursing school right now. She was married once before, but apparently, it was a mistake. She has a great sense of humor…she’s easy to talk to.”
“I suspect she didn’t call it off based on the article…so was it you?”
All I did was give her a nod.
“Why, Vincent? It sounds like you actually liked her.” Titan’s voice fell in intensity, and she was practically whispering. She must have sensed the delicate nature of the situation.
“I did like her,” I admitted. “That was the problem…”
Softness touched her eyes, bringing a look of sadness to the surface. “You’ve been with other women…”
“But they didn’t mean anything to me. We were friends, of course. But it was just physical companionship. They were young women who enjoyed being spoiled by a rich man. I enjoyed the sex and so did they.”
“So Scarlet is special to you?”
I nodded. “I feel my heart race when I’m near her. I feel my hands shake. I’m not just attracted to her appearance, but everything underneath the skin. I don’t want to fuck her like the others. I want to make love to her. I haven’t felt that way about anyone since…” It was too insulting to compare Scarlet to Isabella. I wouldn’t dare say it out loud.
“Vincent…” She reached her hand for mine and held it. “I can’t even imagine how that must feel.”
“I hope neither of you loses each other so early in life.” I squeezed her hand. “I never want my son to suffer the loss of the love of his life.”
“I’m sure we won’t. But if he did, I know I would want him to move on. I know I would want him to be happy.”
I stared at our joined hands and understood what she was trying to say to me.
“She wouldn’t want you to be alone, Vincent. I know I never met her, but I just know. You’ve waited long enough. You have so much life left to live. Don’t waste the years you have left.”
I pulled my hand away and straightened in my chair. “I never want to forget her…”
“You never will.”
“I’m afraid if I let something happen with Scarlet, I’ll be happy. And as my happiness grows, my memory of Isabella will fade. I won’t think about her every day. I’ll think about her less and less…and I don’t want that to happen.”
“You will think about her less, but that’s okay. That doesn’t mean you stopped loving her.”
I promised to love that woman for the rest of my life. The second I laid eyes on her, I just knew. I never wanted to break the promise I made to her, not out of obligation, but because I meant that vow when I made it.
“What if your situations were reversed?”
I wished they were.
“Would you want her to move on, Vincent?”
“Depends.”
“On?”
If Isabella had fallen in love with someone else, I wouldn’t be upset about it. I would understand that she’d had to move on with her life. There would be no jealousy on my part. “I’d want her to be with a really great guy, someone who loved her as much as I did and would always take care of her. If he fit that criteria, I’d be happy.”
“You don’t think she’d feel the same way?”
I knew she would. “Yeah…”
“Then give this a chance, Vincent. You could be happy again.”
Happiness was my biggest fear. The only glimpses of joy I received were from the nice moments with my family. Or when I explored the Mediterranean coastline with a beautiful woman by my side. Every moment was fleeti
ng—and they didn’t last long.
“Did you tell Scarlet why you left?”
I nodded. “She understands my circumstance. She’s very compassionate.”
“If she’s willing to share your heart with Isabella, then she sounds like a wonderful woman.”
“She is.”
“I know I have no right to tell you what you should do. It’s none of my business. But I don’t think it’s right that you keep punishing yourself. Loving another woman would never take away from how much you love your wife. If Scarlet understands that, then you have nothing to worry about. Just get her back before it’s too late. If you wait too long, you never know what might happen.”
I nodded in agreement, knowing she was right. Moving on was the hardest thing I’d ever had to do, and honestly, I never really had. I understood Isabella wasn’t coming back, but I refused to share my life with someone new because I shared it with her ghost. I’d rather live with her memory than a real person. But I knew I couldn’t do that forever. I shouldn’t miss out on something that made me happy just so I could stay miserable.
Isabella would want me to be happy.
I knew that in my heart.
“You know Jax, Brett, and Diesel will be supportive. They want you to be happy.”
“I know they do.”
“Then do it, Vincent. And remember…” She extended her left hand, her diamond ring reflecting the light. I remembered exactly how it felt when I slipped that ring onto Isabella’s hand. I remembered the night I gave it to her. Her face lit up with the brightest look of joy I’d ever seen. “None of us will ever forget her…because she’s here with us now.”
I waited outside Scarlet’s building until she got off work. I considered calling her, but that wasn’t personal enough for the situation. After the way I’d hurt her, I had to make up for it. I needed to do something that would be worthy of her forgiveness.
So I waited outside in the cold.
She stepped out shortly after five, dressed in heels and a long black jacket. Large shiny buttons were on the front, and her curled hair was pulled over one shoulder. Her sunglasses hung from the front of her jacket. Nothing about her seemed different. If she was still upset about our conversation, it didn’t seem like it.
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