by Nikki Paris
Derrick laughed. “I’m not in the habit of cornering girls in the bathroom.” He shrugged. “They usually come to me.”
I rolled my eyes. He was so full of himself. “Congrats, Derrick.” I made to shove past him, but he caught my waist.
“Hey, in all seriousness, you were great tonight. You’re an incredible dancer.” His eyes were soft. He wasn’t teasing me.
I didn’t know what to say. I settled on, “Yeah. I know.”
Derrick smiled and pulled me a little closer. His eyes traveled over my face. “Skylar,” He grinned at me — God, I loved that grin. “There are other ways to make yourself look old enough to date me. You don’t have to cake on all that prostitute make-up.” He was making fun of my stage make-up.
I should have walked away and gone back to sit next to my boyfriend, but I grinned back at Derrick and said, “What about the breast implants? Do those help?” What was wrong with me? Why couldn’t I stop myself from flirting with him?
Derrick gazed at my chest, and I felt like I was catching fire everywhere he looked. “Oh, Skylar. We both know you’ve never needed implants.” His gorgeous green eyes traveled back up to my lips.
I had to fight not to kiss him.
I was a terrible person. Ben, amazing Ben, was waiting for me back at the table. He would be really hurt if he could see me now. I needed to stay away from Derrick.
His hand was still on my waist. It burned through my leotard and felt like it was scorching my skin. “I don’t like your boyfriend,” he said.
My heart raced. I scoffed and said, “That’s too bad for you. I like him.”
“But do you love him?”
I bit my lip. Ben and I had started saying, “I love you” about a month ago, and I did love him, in a sense. But he didn’t come close to making me feel the way Derrick did.
When I didn’t answer, Derrick raised his eyebrows and pulled me even closer so that our bodies pressed together. He felt incredible, and I could hardly breathe. “So you don’t love him?”
“Yes, I do!” I blurted and pulled away. “Stop fucking with me and go back to the long line of girls that are drooling over you.”
He sighed and leaned against the wall. “Okay. I’ll leave you alone, for now.”
I rolled my eyes. “Leave me alone forever,” I said.
Derrick laughed. “Why are you so rude to me?” he asked.
Because I couldn’t have him, and it made me angry. Because he had too much power over me. Because I was a relationship kind of girl, and he was a play-the-field kind of guy. Because he was hot and thought he could have whatever he wanted.
I couldn’t think of a quick-witted jab. I faltered and mumbled, “I don’t know.” Then I headed back to our table. When I glanced back at Derrick, he watched me with a slight smile. I hated the way my heart was racing, and my legs felt weak.
Back at the table, I looked at Ben, and my heart sank. He smiled at me, and my pulse didn’t race. He kissed me, and I didn’t want to melt into him. He said, “I love you.” I didn’t want to say it back.
12
Skylar
The morning after my concert, I paced around my boyfriend’s kitchen. He and his two roommates were still asleep, but I was wide awake and choking on my guilt. I’d slept with Ben last night and thought about Derrick the whole time. I let my sweet, incredible boyfriend fuck me while I thought about another guy.
Shit. I was a monster.
I heard a door open in the back of the apartment, and then Ben wandered into the kitchen. “Hey, baby.” He grinned at me. “I thought you left me.” He wrapped his arms around me from behind, and I tried to swallow my guilt and push Derrick out of my mind.
“Morning.” I turned to kiss Ben’s cheek, but he caught my lips instead. Derrick filled my head again — his gorgeous green eyes, his flirty grin, the smell of his cologne, the feel of his hand on my waist.
I was still in love with Derrick.
I quickly pulled away from Ben. “What’s wrong?” He laughed.
“Nothing.” I lied. “I’m starving! Let’s go get breakfast.” I pulled my hair into a high ponytail and secured it with the elastic on my wrist. I grabbed my keys from the kitchen counter and headed out the front door, with Ben following close behind. We climbed into my car, and Ben rested his hand on my knee like he always did. I looked over at him while I drove and knew what I had to do. I couldn’t keep him hanging on while my heart so clearly belonged to someone else. Ben deserved better.
◆◆◆
Five days later, I showed up at his apartment to break up with him. I knocked on his door, unannounced, with my heart pounding in my throat.
“Hey!” Ben smiled when he pulled open the door. “This is a nice surprise!”
I hated myself, knowing that I was about to wipe that sweet smile off his face. “Hi, Ben. Can I come in?”
He laughed. “Of course.” He tried to hug me, but I stiffened in his arms. “Uh… okay, what’s going on? Are you mad at me?” Suddenly his tone changed from excited to worried.
“No. No, I’m not mad.” I shoved my hands in the back pockets of my jeans to still their trembling. “Are Ezra and Tyler home?” I asked. I didn’t want to do this in front of his roommates. They’d be so pissed at me.
Ben narrowed his blue eyes. “No. They’re both at work tonight. What’s wrong, Skylar?”
“Let’s sit.” I pointed to his couch, with my voice shaking. The worried look in his eyes changed to sheer panic. He just nodded and sat on the edge of his couch. I tried not to think of all the times we’d been tangled up together in this very same spot.
I cleared my throat and stared at my hands. I just needed to say it. I opened my mouth, then closed it again. I was crazy to give up a good guy like Ben. Ben opened doors for me. He listened to me when I spoke. He was smart and attractive. Another better girl deserved him. “Ben, we need to break up.”
Ben sat in silence. I watched the emotion pass over his face and wanted to die. “What?” he breathed.
“Ben, I am so sorry.”
“Where is this coming from, Skylar? I don’t understand.” He had tears in his clear blue eyes.
I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out.
“Just explain it to me, please?” Ben pleaded and held both of my hands in his. “What happened? What did I do?”
I sighed. “You didn’t do anything wrong! You’ve been so incredible! I swear it isn’t you, Ben.” I could tell he didn’t believe me.
He shook his head and released my hands. “I’ll let you go, Skylar. I just need to know the reason.”
I bit my lip and stared at the carpet in his apartment. Would the truth make him feel better or worse? I glanced up at him. Shit. Ben was such a good guy. He deserved the truth. I sighed. “I’m in love with someone else. I have been pretty much my entire life. I thought I was over it, but I’m not. You deserve better than me, Ben.”
He nodded, and a single tear rolled down his cheek. “It’s Maci’s brother, right?”
“Wha— How did you—”
Ben scoffed. “I would have to be blind not to notice the way you two looked at each other.” He looked down. “I kept telling myself that you guys weren’t flirting. I kept telling myself that you just teased and touched each other like that because you’ve known each other your whole lives.” Ben took a deep breath, stood, and paced around his living room.
“I know I can’t compete with a guy like that, though.” Ben glanced back at me with earnest eyes. “I just hope he deserves you, Skylar.”
Of course, he didn’t — dumbass, playboy Derrick that hadn’t had a serious relationship since high school — but my heart didn’t care. It had wanted Derrick for eight solid years, whether he deserved me or not.
Ben looked up at the ceiling as if searching for strength. “So, was any of it real? Did you ever actually love me like you said?”
“Of course, I did!” I stood, desperately wanting to hug Ben and make him feel better, but also knowin
g I shouldn’t. “All of it was real. I did love you — do love you, just not the same way that I love him… I’m so sorry, Ben.” I was crying now. “You are seriously incredible.”
Ben shook his head. “Stop saying that. Please, stop saying that. If I were incredible, you wouldn’t have just dumped me. Go, Skylar. I need to cry, and I don’t want to do it in front of you.”
I covered my mouth with both hands as a tiny sob slipped out. I just nodded and left Ben’s apartment. I felt like complete garbage, but I still knew I’d done the right thing.
I sat in my car and cried before driving away. I wanted to call Maci, but she would ask why the hell I’d broken up with Ben. She wouldn’t accept anything but the truth, and what was I supposed to say? “Hey, so I thought I loved Ben until you brought your stupid brother to my show and reminded me how damn crazy he makes me.”
Maybe I should just tell her. Maybe she wouldn’t hate me.
Ugh. It didn’t matter. It wasn’t like I was ever going to date Derrick, right? I thought about the way he’d looked at me in the restaurant. I was too young for him the last time we played our flirting game, but maybe he saw me now.
When I pulled up to my apartment, I’d decided to call Maci and just spill the whole truth. I picked up my phone and was about to call her when I saw an email notification. I opened my mail app and gasped when I saw a message from LCU Admissions. Their dance program was one of the best in the country. I’d applied there during my senior year, but I’d been waitlisted. Was this what I thought it was? I clicked on the email with my heart racing. I scanned the letter and then screamed like a crazy person. I got in! Holy shit! I got in!
I ran into my apartment, wiping away tears of joy, heartbreak, and sheer excitement. God, it was a roller coaster in my head! I called my parents first, and then I called Maci.
“Maci! I got into LCU!” I yelled into the phone as soon as she answered.
“WHAT??” Maci screamed back at me. “Shut up! I am so damn excited for you!” Then she gasped. “No! That means you’re leaving me! When are you leaving, Skylar? I’m going to cry!” LCU was at least a ten-hour drive away.
I laughed. “I don’t know. I don’t know anything yet. I just opened the email and started calling people!”
“How do you think Ben’s going to take the news?”
I stayed silent. I hadn’t forgotten that I’d just dumped one of the world’s greatest guys, but the excitement over LCU had momentarily pushed it to the side of my mind.
“Sky?”
“Yeah?”
“Are you guys gonna try long-distance?”
I sighed and swallowed the lump in my throat. “We… broke up.”
“Oh, no! Sky! I’m so sorry! He doesn’t want to do long-distance then?”
I played with the hem of my t-shirt and gazed out the window. I was going to tell Maci the whole truth. But maybe it didn’t matter. Derrick wouldn’t want to do long-distance, either. If I moved ten hours away, I’d never see him. He wouldn’t chase after me. Derrick didn’t need to chase girls. They lined up at his door and practically begged him to fuck them.
I refused to be one of those girls.
And screw all that anyway. My lifelong dreams were worth more than any guy.
“Skylar? Do you need me to come over?” Maci’s voice was soft.
I did want her to come over. I could cry on her shoulder about Ben. Then I could cry about another missed chance with Derrick. After that, I could forget about him and move on with my life.
I sighed. “I would love that, Maci.”
13
Derrick
I pulled up to my parents’ house and parked in the driveway. My mom insisted on having a “nice family dinner” a few times a month, now that I lived close enough to visit more often. Tonight, there was a car I didn’t recognize parked in front of the house. Did Maci have a new boyfriend?
I opened the front door and headed down the hall toward the kitchen. I heard her voice, and it sent my heart racing. Skylar was here. It was Skylar’s new car out front. She was sitting at the island with Maci, in her favorite barstool. Skylar looked sexy as hell in a plain white t-shirt and little jean shorts. This girl didn’t even need to dress up to make me hard.
Fuck her stupid boyfriend.
Maci had her arm draped around Skylar’s shoulders, and she was saying, “Yeah, like every spring break, every winter break! And we’ll talk on the phone every day! It’s going to be okay!”
Skylar leaned into my sister and sniffled. What the hell? Was she crying? “I’m gonna miss you so much!”
“What’s going on, ladies?” I asked.
Skylar sat up straight and whipped her head around to look at me. She wiped the tears from her eyes and said, “None of your business.”
My mom stood over the stove, stirring something that smelled delicious. She laughed out loud. “Derrick, I think Skylar’s the only girl in the world that dares to put you in your place.” She turned to smile at me. “Skylar’s moving up to LCU tomorrow. She got into their dance program! Isn’t that exciting?”
I felt like I’d been punched in the stomach. Skylar was leaving? Just like that? No way. I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about her since the night of her concert over three weeks ago. I hadn’t gone on a single date since then, either. I was telling myself that if I could get Skylar to dump her boyfriend, I’d be ready to settle down and go all in with her.
But now she was leaving?
“I… uh. Wow. Congrats, Skylar. That’s awesome.” I was so stunned that I couldn’t even think of a smart-ass comment to make.
Skylar searched my eyes. Could she see the disappointment there? I cleared my throat and headed over to my mom at the stove. “What are you making?” I slid my arm around her shoulders and tried to tune out Maci and Skylar’s conversation. How did Skylar’s stupid boyfriend feel about her moving away?
My mom glanced up at me. “Lemon-pepper chicken and pasta salad.”
“Nice. Looks good. Where’s dad?” Skylar was seriously leaving? Shit.
“I think he’s upstairs taking a call.”
“Cool.” I paced back and forth in front of the fridge, trying not to stare at Skylar.
My mom stopped stirring the pasta and asked, “You okay, bud?” She tossed her curly dark hair over her shoulder and watched me with raised eyebrows.
I glanced at Skylar before answering. “Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”
My mom looked over at Skylar, too — she was still deep in conversation with Maci — before turning back to me. “You seem stressed.” Her eyes flashed over to Skylar one more time. “Or maybe disappointed?”
I laughed. “I’m good. Are we ready to eat?”
She nodded and said, “Bring the food to the table. I’ll go get dad.” She headed up the stairs.
Maci announced, “I have to pee. I’ll be right back.” She wandered down the hallway to the bathroom.
Now, Skylar and I were alone in the kitchen. She stood and opened the cupboard to pull out a stack of plates. “Thanks, kid.” I grinned at her, and she rolled her eyes. “So, you’re leaving, huh? That sucks for me.”
Skylar narrowed her eyes as she set out the white porcelain plates on the table. “Why?”
I put down a hot pad and then set the pan of lemon pepper chicken in the center of the table. I just shrugged and grinned at her. “We won’t be able to have any Halo tournaments if you’re at LCU.” That, and I wouldn’t be able to get her to dump that stupid boyfriend of hers and fuck me instead.
Skylar rolled her eyes and walked over to grab the bowl of pasta salad.
“You are always rolling those beautiful blue eyes at me.” I took the bowl from her hands, making sure to brush my fingers against hers. She was driving me insane.
“Yeah, because you’re stupid, and I can’t even deal with it!” Skylar paused for a minute. “Did you say beautiful?”
I burst out laughing. “I did. Maybe you shouldn’t be so rude to me.” I set the bowl
on the table.
Skylar smirked and opened her mouth to say something just as my parents walked into the kitchen. She closed her mouth and grabbed a handful of forks from the silverware drawer instead. That smirk meant she was about to flirt with me. I’d have to catch her alone later.
“Let’s eat, kids!” My mom called and sat down at the table next to my dad. Maci wandered back into the kitchen and took her seat. I sat across from Maci, and Skylar sank into the chair next to me. My heart rate immediately picked up. I gazed down at her partially bare thigh and imagined running my hand up her smooth, toned leg.
“So, Skylar,” my dad began. “What sort of classes will you be taking at LCU? Just dance stuff?”
“Yeah.” She nodded. “It will be almost all dance classes because I’ve already finished all my generals. I will add a few business classes, too, since my dream is to open my own dance studio someday.”
I smiled at her. “You’d be good at that.”
Skylar raised a single eyebrow at me. “Did you just say something nice to me, Derrick?”
I laughed and said, “I can be nice, sometimes.” I glanced up and saw Maci staring at me with wide eyes. I cleared my throat and turned to my dad. “So, dad, are we still going to the game on Saturday?”
I could hardly focus during the rest of dinner, and when Skylar announced that she’d better head home and finish packing, I followed her out the front door, blaming an early morning at work the next day. Maci watched me with narrowed eyes. I ignored my sister. I didn’t care what she said. I wanted Skylar, and I wouldn’t hurt her. At least, I didn’t think I would.
I walked down the driveway, staring hard at Skylar’s sexy ass just a few yards ahead of me. “Skylar!” I called after her. I didn’t care if she had a boyfriend. I needed to feel her lips on mine again.
She turned to look at me, and my breath caught. “What, Derrick?” Her tone was irritated.
I grinned. “Come here.”
Skylar rolled her eyes but slowly walked back to meet me. “What do you want?”