I snort. “Trista, Hawk, and I are leaving today.”
Trista spins around at the same time Avah lets out a loud guffaw. “Taz,” Trista warns. “I told you, I’m not going anywhere,” she says.
Shaking my head, I lift a brow as I watch her. Holding up my hand, I let out a grunt. “You’ll do what I tell you to do, what your father tells you to do, and more importantly what Dragon tells you to do, to stay safe.”
Trista’s eyes narrow and she takes a step toward me, anger swirling in those blue eyes that I fucking love looking into. Eyes that I admit, only to myself, that I missed looking into. She bites the corner of her bottom lip and tilts her head to the side.
“I am not part of your club, Taz. I’m nobody’s Old Lady, I’m not really anyone’s daughter either. What I am is someone who hung around as a kid, because I had nobody else who gave a fuck about me. What I was, and am, is lucky that Silver had a hard-on for my mom and treated me like his own kid.”
“Enough,” Hawk roars before I can say a word.
Slowly, Trista turns around to face him. His face is red, his body trembling with anger, but his eyes are remorseful. He takes a step toward Trista, but she stumbles backward. Reaching out, I grip her hips in my hands and hold her still.
“You don’t ever have to forget what I did. You don’t have to forgive me either, but I ain’t here for my health. Regardless of how pissed you are at me, I’m here to protect you. Do you think we’d come out here if we didn’t think you were truly in danger?”
The room is so silent that you could hear a pin drop. Avah clears her throat at the same time Trista’s body jerks. I tighten my grasp on her hips, keeping her sweet ass pressed up against my cock.
“You walked away. You disappeared for my entire life. I won’t ever forgive you, but I can’t stay angry about it either. I don’t feel anything at all. I appreciate you both wanting to protect me, but I don’t need it and I don’t want it.”
Blood roars in my ears from her words. Pushing her away from me, I reach out and grab ahold of her shoulder, forcing her to turn around and look at me. The anger I felt earlier, it surges through me tenfold.
“You need it,” I growl. She bites the corner of her lip and shakes her head. “You don’t have a goddamn choice, Tris. You’re comin’ with us. You’re mine.”
Avah appears behind her, and holds her hand out, placing it against my chest and pushes. “She’s not going anywhere, you overgrown ape,” she shouts. “This is her home and you aren’t taking her. I’ll call the police if I have to.”
My eyes lift to hers and the green orbs flash as she watches me with anger. She’s got her phone in her other hand, her gaze challenging me, waiting to press send. I want to bat her away, throw Trista over my shoulder and never look back.
“Please, Taz. You don’t want me, not really. I’ll keep an eye out for this Angel guy, I promise. If I get any weird feelings, I’ll call you.”
Shaking my head, I look into Trista’s eyes. My heart slams against my ribs, but I can’t give her what she wants. I can take what I want, but she won’t be happy. She walked away from me almost a year ago for good reason, and that shit has not changed.
I won’t brand her.
She’s mine, she knows it as much as I do, but to make that claim permanent is too much. She would never ask me to do that, anyway. Call it whatever the fuck you want, self-preservation, doesn’t matter. She wouldn’t ever ask me to change who I am for her, and I never would.
Lifting my hand, I cup her cheek. “It’ll be too late by the time you call.”
Dropping my hand, I turn around and walk back to her bedroom. Ignoring the churning in the pit of my stomach, I get dressed without my shirt. Sliding my cut over my bare chest, I turn around to leave and see her standing in the doorway.
We don’t say a word to one another. Walking up to her, I dip my chin and touch my mouth to the corner of her lips, then shift past her and out of the apartment. I hear Hawk’s voice in the distance. I can’t turn around, if I do, I won’t leave her there, I’ll take her and I’ll fucking keep her with or without her permission.
Chapter Four
TRISTA
“Wish you’d come with us,” my father mutters.
I stand firm, still wearing Taz’s t-shirt. I try to push that thought away. The fact that he walked out of here sexy and shirtless and left me with his tee. Inhaling a deep breath, I shake my head from side to side.
“I’ll call you,” I whisper.
He snorts. “You won’t. But you’ll call the local affiliated chapter, right?” he asks.
My lips twitch, he’s called me out and even if I’ll forever stay pissed off at him, I can’t deny that he does know me. “I will.” I nod.
He shakes his head as if he can’t believe me, then I watch as his gaze moves over to Avah. Something that I refuse to even acknowledge crosses his features. The heat in his eyes makes my stomach clench and I shift my gaze away from them.
“You seem like a street-smart girl,” he grunts. “Keep your eyes out for anything suspicious, or not so suspicious. Just keep your fucking eyes and ears open.”
Without another word, I watch as he stomps away. The door slams and only then do I let out a long breath before I make my way over to our living room chair and sink down. Avah walks over to the door, locks it then disappears.
She returns with two bottles of white wine. She shoves one at me, then sits down on the sofa and takes a long pull of her own. I join her. Closing my eyes, I let the cool liquid slide down my throat at the same time the tears that I’d been holding back slide down my cheeks.
“He’s the reason you don’t sleep with clients,” she whispers. Opening my eyes, I use the back of my hand and wipe the tears away. “Don’t do that, you’ll cause premature wrinkles,” she warns.
A giggle bubbles up from my throat. Lifting the bottle to my lips, I take a long pull. Sighing, I decide to answer her, though she already has me figured out.
“Yeah, I’m still in love with him.”
“I can see that,” she mutters, her lips curling up into a small smile. “You weren’t made for the escort life, not really. You’re too good.”
Shaking my head, I shrug a shoulder. “I’m really not,” I snort.
“Yeah, you are. How many men have you slept with that you didn’t have any emotional attachment to at all?”
I don’t even have to think about the answer to her question. It’s two. One is the client I slept with a few weeks ago. The other is one of my mother’s men, her drug dealer. She was planning on basically selling me to him. But before she could, he took what wasn’t his.
“Two.”
Avah tips her bottle back, taking a huge drink, then lowers it and levels me with a look. I know that look. It’s the one she gives when she’s getting ready to lay out some truth bombs. It’s the same look she gave when she told me I needed my boobs done in order to make any real money escorting.
“You should have gone with them. I know you wanted to.”
Looking down at my lap, I wince at the sight of my bare thighs, Taz’s t-shirt only covering the tops of them. Then I frown as I lift my gaze back up to meet hers.
“He doesn’t love me. Did you know that I don’t even know his real name? I only know his road name. I’m in love with someone and I don’t know his name. He’s almost as old as my father, he’s not going to change, and he’s not going to suddenly decide that he wants me for more than what’s between my legs.”
Avah takes another pull from her wine. Her eyes move around the apartment for a moment as if she’s trying to think of what to say next. When her gaze lifts to mine again, I see there is sadness swimming in her eyes.
“You love him. What if you just allowed yourself to love him?”
Bringing my knees to my chest. I rest my chin against them and watch her. “Then what? In ten years, I’ll be thirty-two and in love with a man who fucks whoever he wants, whenever he wants, with no consideration for my feelings. Maybe h
e lets me have a baby, maybe not and I’ve pissed away ten years of my life? No thanks.”
“God that sounds depressing when you say it like that,” she whispers.
“No shit.”
“So, tell me what this whole thing was about? Maybe that won’t be so depressing?”
Smirking, I take another drink of my wine. “Some pissed-off drug lord’s kid is on the loose and they think he could try to hurt me, use me as leverage, something like that because I’m dispensable to the club, but still close enough that it would prove he was serious.”
“Fuck,” she hisses. “They don’t fuck around when they say you could be in trouble.”
I burst out laughing. “They really don’t.”
We stay silent for a moment, but I can tell that she’s thinking. I am too. Though, I probably should be thinking about all this cartel drug lord shit, but I’m not. My mind is consumed with Taz.
I want to regret immediately falling into bed with him, but I don’t, I never have. My heart will always belong to him as much as I know that it shouldn’t. Nothing about that man is redeemable. Nothing about him is healthy. Everything about me still wants him, every single part of him.
“Is he really almost as old as your dad? And how old is your dad?” she asks, arching a brow as she brings her bottle to her lips, finishing it off.
“Don’t be gross,” I snap.
“What? He’s hot. I mean he’s your dad, but you have eyes, right?”
My lips twitch and I shake my head, lifting my own bottle to my lips to finish its contents. Letting out a sigh, I lean back in my chair.
“My dad is fifty-five. Taz is forty-four,” I grumble.
“Christ, they grow silver foxes in Arizona, hot biker ones.” Avah giggles.
Picking up the throw pillow that’s behind my back, I toss it over to her, my own laughter escaping. We stay that way for a few moments, our laughter eventually dying. I shift my gaze to the windows and notice that it’s dawn.
“I’ll be here for whatever you need, Trista. You know that, right?” she asks, her voice sounding concerned.
Sliding my eyes back to meet hers, I give her a sad smile. “Yeah. I’m going to head to bed,” I whisper as I rise to my feet.
She doesn’t say anything else, though I can feel her eyes on me the entire time I walk toward my bedroom. Closing the door behind me, I hold myself together just long enough.
Sinking down to my ass, I lean against the closed door, pinching my eyes closed, I try not to let any more tears fall, I fail. I always fail when it comes to Taz. Always have, probably always will, which is one of the reasons I moved away from him. He’ll always be able to take me, because I will always give myself freely to him.
TAZ
Hawk is silent. He’s pissed off, and I don’t blame him. I’m pissed off too. Not just at Trista, but I’m pissed at myself.
All I had to do was tell her I wanted her to be my Old Lady.
All I had to do was promise to brand her, promise to be faithful, and tell her I love her. She would have run to my bike and hopped on the back without fail.
“You fucked up,” Hawk growls when we finally stop for fuel.
Running my fingers through my hair, I nod. “Yeah, I did,” I admit. “But I didn’t lie. I can’t lie to her and that was the only way I could get her on the back of my bike, feed her a bunch of lies.”
Hawk shakes his head. “I’d rather you lie to her, than have her dead or completely fucking mangled by this guy,” he spits.
Shifting my gaze away from his angry one, I watch as the sun begins to rise. “Not a good man, Hawk. You know the shit I’ve done, because you’ve done it too. Only thing I got with her is my honesty. I can’t do that to her, I won’t.”
Hawk steps up to me and gets in my face, his angry gaze meets mine and he reaches out, wrapping his hand around the front of my throat.
“I don’t give a fuck if you’re the sergeant-at-arms. This is my daughter. I’ve fucked her up enough in life. You love her, get your ass back there and claim her,” he snaps.
I try to move from his grip, but he’s too firm. It doesn’t hurt, he’s not trying to kill me, but he’s making it pretty fucking clear where he stands. Just like I did earlier.
“You’re going to need to let me go, Hawk,” I state calmly.
He growls, then pushes me away as he takes a step back. His breathing is erratic, his eyes are wild. Fuck, he’s really goddamn worried. Frowning, I lift my hand and wrap my fingers around the back of my neck.
“What don’t I know?” I ask.
Hawk shakes his head. “I know everything you do. I’m just… got a gut feeling on this one, and I can’t make her go, short of kidnapping her,” he admits. “She don’t want nothin’ to do with me and I’m okay with that. But I want her safe.”
Letting out an exhale, I look back at my bike, then to him. “I’m going to ride over to the affiliate club, stay there for a while. Maybe I can get her to come with me, maybe we’ll all feel better, me being closer.”
Hawk grunts, his eyes narrow before he jerks his head in a nod. “I’m stayin’ too,” he announces.
“Don’t have nothin’ to do with that sexy little friend of hers, does it?” I grin.
He snorts. “She’d have no clue what to do with a man. She’s used to callin’ the shots, though, might be kinda fun to teach her a little somethin’.”
“Dirty old perv,” I chuckle.
He shrugs a shoulder and we climb back on our bikes. Instead of heading back to Arizona, we make our way to the clubhouse here.
The music meets my ears before I even cross through the gates. It’s daylight, but the party is still fucking raging when we pull up to the clubhouse. I see familiar cuts, but only one familiar face as I kick the stand of my bike down.
“Tiger.” I grin, reaching out to shake the president’s hand.
“Fuck,” he says, gripping my palm tightly. Then he flicks his gaze toward Hawk. “Hawk, it’s been a fuckin’ minute, brother.”
“No shit,” Hawk snorts.
I clear my throat, but Tiger lifts his hand and waves me off. “Dragon already called me, updated me on the shit happening down in Columbia. Dude, that shit is off the charts crazy. You guys stay here as long as you need. Whatever you want, guys, guns, dope, bitches, all at your complete disposal.”
Unable to hide my chuckle, I jerk my chin up to him in a nod. “Thanks, brother. Need some shut-eye before I partake in any of that shit,” I say. “Maybe talk a little tonight about the girl we’re here to watch?”
“Trista? Fine motherfuckin’ piece of ass, brother. We keep tabs on her, not as much now that she’s flying in a whole new scene, one that we do not mess with.”
Something ugly curls in my belly and slithers throughout my entire body at his words. “Explain that shit,” I demand, suddenly no longer tired.
I can feel Hawk behind me, I can almost taste his anger and I know it’s anger because I feel the same fucking way. Something is not goddamn right, knew it when I was in her fancy digs, with that equally douchey guy, and that doesn’t include the complete physical change.
“You don’t know? Shit, I didn’t tell Dragon?” he asks.
Taking a step toward him, I lower my voice. “I don’t know what you told Dragon. If you did, he didn’t share, but I’m demanding you do right fucking now.”
Tiger holds up his hands in surrender. “She’s an escort, brother. A really fucking high paid one at a fancy-ass dating company, but make no bones about it, the bitch is being paid to go out with men. And the dude that she works for, Layne. Don’t know much about him, but that’s because his shit is scrubbed fuckin’ clean. I don’t know him and I don’t trust anything about him.”
Spinning around, without a fucking word, I straddle my bike and I ride. I head straight for that bitch that’s getting paid. Fuck that shit. She wants to be a whore, I got a place she can whore, in Arizona and on my dick only.
Chapter Five
TRISTA
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I hear something in the apartment. It sounds like someone is pounding against the door. Wiping my eyes, I stand with my hand on the bedroom doorknob. I can feel my face is puffy, my eyes are almost swollen shut and even my lips are at least double in size, needless to say, I am not an attractive crier.
There is shouting, then I hear heavy boot falls coming closer toward my door. Taking a step back, I stumble and catch myself before I fall to the ground. My door flies open, a man appears. I let out a scream before I lift my hand to muffle the sound.
Avah rushes up behind him, her eyes narrowed. “Don’t make me call the police,” she growls.
“Tris wouldn’t do that,” he grunts, his eyes focused on mine. “Tell your girl to back off. We need to have a chat you and me.”
My gaze flicks from Avah to his, then back to her. I open my mouth, then snap it closed, unsure of what we need to have a talk about. He’s been gone for an hour, now he’s back and judging by the angry glare he’s sporting he’s pissed at me.
“Bitch, back the fuck up,” Taz spits, turning his head to look over his shoulder.
“Absolutely not,” she snaps. “There is no way you’re going to force your way in here and manhandle her again. No way in hell. I don’t know who you think you are…”
Taz turns his back toward me, facing Avah and takes a step toward her. I watch as his head dips slightly and his voice lowers, just enough to sound menacing as hell, but still loud enough that I can hear him from where I stand, still frozen in my spot.
“You need to get back to your room, woman.”
Her mouth drops open, her shoulders square and I know she’s about to lay into him. I watch as she lifts her hand and extends her index finger. My feet suddenly become unstuck and I hurry toward them.
“You didn’t just call me woman and send me to my room. I know you didn’t do that shit,” she screeches, poking her finger in his chest.
UnTouch Me (Savage Beast MC Book 5) Page 5