by Abbye J Leen
He gives me another kiss before distancing himself and with a perplexed look on his face he says:
"You will be the death of me, Ellie, I know it”
"Don’t worry, you’ll make sure to reciprocate…" I reply, sweetly.
Noah
10
Ellie blows my mind completely, there’s just something about her, about the way she makes me feel. Never in my life have I ever been able to orgasm with a dry hump only, it’s mad. My head is killing me right now, I just can’t stop thinking about how much I want to be inside of her, although I know that I’ll have to be very patient before getting anywhere even near that.
My heart beats out of control every time I look at her, she triggers within me something so powerful, she always has, but after this, after watching our bodies entwine, after feeling in a way that I never had before with anyone else… it’s become simply too overwhelming to be put into words.
I hold her close to me, still out of breath just like she is, trying to get ahold of myself and keep my urges under control because to be honest, I wouldn’t mind a second go at this already. I sit down with my legs crossed and lift her on my lap. She gently starts fondling my hair, that’s now covered with sand thanks to our little, forbidden encounter.
"Ellie" I say, leaning my forehead against hers.
"Noah" she sighs.
"What are we doing?" I ask and she looks at me, as if she were trying to find the answer in my eyes.
"I have idea what we’re doing Noah but if you want, I can just keep on hating you, the way I always have" says she, trying to ease the situation a little.
"What a liar! You could never hate me, not even if you tried!" I reply, laughing.
“Conceited much?" she chuckles.
I stand up and help Ellie do the same, I really like looking her, she’s very naturally beautiful.
"Your skirt’s too short' I say pulling it down a bit, revealing the little navel piercing that once again, captures my sight and drives me mad completely, in a good way. She’s just so sexy.
"Your shirt’s a little too revealing as well" I whisper.
"Noah come on, don’t be silly… you’ve seen me in a bikini at least a million times!" she replies, crossing her arms over her chest, clearly bugged by what I’ve said.
"That’s exactly my point Ellie, just because I couldn’t explicit my thoughts back then, that doesn’t mean I didn’t have any!"
My words make her red in the face, as red as a tomato and I can’t help but burst out laughing.
"You're such a piece of shit!" says she, looking at me. I put my arm over her shoulders so that she can lay her head on my chest and I don’t know whether I should be ashamed, for how fast her closeness is making my heartbeat. I move away a little, overwhelmed by my emotions, gently running a hand on her cheek, conscious of the fact that she is my greatest weakness. I look into her eyes, trying to convey to her how she’s making me feel and hoping that she’s feeling it too.
I look at her red, thick lips, wonderfully plumped up by my kisses and bring my face closer to hers. Our mouths meet once again and spread open, allowing our tongues to dance in a sweet, heartfelt way. It’s a slow dance, with a rhythm all of its own, that harmoniously follows the beat of our hearts. I feel reborn, alive and full of hope.
It’s as if I were drowning in a vortex of feelings, spiraling down to a place completely unknown to me and I feel weak but brave at the same time. I cling avidly onto this sensation, hoping that it lasts as long as possible, because never in my life have I ever felt this way before.
Never in my life have I ever felt as good.
Ellie strokes my face caring and delicately, as if I were something fragile, to be handled carefully. This sensation is so unfamiliar to me, yet so satisfying and powerful. I have absolutely no intention of going another day of my life without it, because for the first time ever, I feel worthy.
I feel like I deserve to be loved.
Nolan
11
I always knew that there was something going on between Ellie and Noah, something deep, that went beyond mere friendship. They’ve hated each other all their lives and yet, whenever either of them was in trouble they would always run crying onto each other’s shoulder. When Ellie's mother passed away, even though she could always find safety and comfort in my arms, it was always Noah the one who’d manage to pull a smile out of her. I could never deny my feelings for her, they’ve kept growing uncontrollably inside of me for years… Regardless, that was never a good enough reason for me to risk losing her as a friend.
We’ve always been so close, but things are going to be very different soon. Noah and her, will be going to college together, while I’ll be starting over from scratch, elsewhere and completely on my own.
They’ll keep cultivating their feelings in spite of me, those very same feelings that perhaps, only blossomed so late because I was in the way. What scares me the most to the point that it makes me sick, is the fact that he didn’t even have to put any effort into conquering her, Noah beat me at this, too.
I neither know when it was, nor what exactly happened between them. All I am certain of, is that that they’ve had the opportunity to get to know each other behind my back and to realize that, kills me.
I look at stars in the sky, so dazzling, huge and bright: a majestic, unrestrained amount of matter, that constantly flutters over our heads. Quite the absurd concept, to think about it.
I sigh, feeling stressed and pressured by all that’s about to change in my life. Thinking about losing Noah and Ellie destabilizes me completely, nothing can give me peace right now, not even looking at the sky, which instead usually does the trick.
I lean against Suzanne’s porch wondering why all of this is happening to me when suddenly, I notice Rachel coming my way, which makes me snap back to reality. She nonchalantly places herself besides me, as I push away the uncomfortable thoughts I was having to say "Hi" to her.
"Hey Nolan, what are you doing here all on your own?" she asks, looking at me with her big, brown sparkling eyes and a sort of smirk on her face, a very tender and genuine one, that suits her face beautifully.
"Oh I know, just admiring the infinite magnificence above us" I say, keeping my hands in my pockets.
“Wow, so you’re into big words, huh!" she says, still smiling.
I make room for a little bit of serenity within myself, allowing myself to get carried away by the conversation that lovely Rachel and I are having.
Ellie
12
Noah's lips are still on mine, as if he really didn’t want this moment to end. I’m still wondering how the hell any of this even happened in the first place, but it doesn’t matter, all I know is that I regret not making it happen earlier. Noah and I have always shared a special bond, even if we’d never stop underlining our ‘hatred’ towards one another, we’d still always have each other’s backs, or at least that's how I like to see it.
His touch makes my body quiver, as does his tongue, he excites me to the point my heart’s exploding and I'm afraid... so very afraid, because things between us are bound to change irreversibly and I don’t know whether for better or for worse. All I do know is there are only two times I want to be with him: now and forever.
***
"We're not ‘dinner people’, Noah" I tell him, as I finish tidying up the last hotel room for the night.
This job tires me out a lo, but I need to hang on a little longer: Amelia needs me, she needs all the help I can give her while I’m here, because in a few months I’ll be leaving for college. The only thing that consoles me is that I won’t be leaving her completely alone, our cousin Avery will be replacing me.
"What do you mean we're not ‘dinner people’? Of course, we are!" He says, distracting me from my thoughts.
"Well, we never went for out dinner, just you and I..." I say, shrugging.
"If you want to put it that way we’d never kissed either, but that turned out to be more than fine, didn’t it?" he says,
pulling me towards him.
He’s right.
"Noah, I’m supposed to be working…" I say, holding my breath and smiling, as I try to keep under control the unbearable desire that I have for him.
"Yes, but you’re the boss around here" says he, placing his arms around my hips, as I wrap mine over his neck. I can’t help smiling like a fool, thinking about what he’s doing to me, about the way he’s making me feel. He kisses me tenderly, running his hand through my hair and when he sneaks his tongue inside my mouth, a visceral moan escapes from me, as if all of the pleasure bottled up inside of me had finally found a way to escape. My body, mind and soul are completely enraptured, completely under his spell… And to think that he's just kissing me!
When he moves away from me he’s completely out of breath, his desire for me is evident, I can see it from the bulge trying to escape his jeans, which I wish I could unleash, to fulfil both his cravings and mine.
"I'll pick you up at seven" he says, kissing my nose and letting go of my waist, then winking at me and leaving, without even giving me the time to reply.
Me? Well, I’m still helplessly gazing at the door that he’s just disappeared behind. I sigh, trying to keep my cool, as I reluctantly get back to work.
I’m making myself look extra cute tonight, because I know Noah and I know that there’s going to be a lot of girls buzzing around him, as usual. I curl my hair strand by strand, then put a veil of makeup on, except for lipstick, which I instead decide to use a lot of, to better emphasize the fullness of my lips. I change into a matching color dress, that wraps around my body perfectly, from below my neckline down to the upper part of my thighs and complete the outfit with a pair of black wedges, then nervous like never before, I await.
I've never had a proper date before. Noah and Nolan have always been very good at keeping boys away from me, not like I’ve ever had the time to really like anybody, anyway. I’ve always been far too busy, considering my family issues, the studying to keep up with and the time needed to cultivate my passion for colors, paintings and art in general.
"You look beautiful" says Amelia, staring at me in a motherly way, the way she always has ever since mom died. Dad was never able to handle and deal with the situation, so Amelia had to do it in his place. She’s always been fundamental for the both of us, always ready to offer us support and a shoulder to cry on. She’s an incredibly strong woman, none other than the best role model I could have ever asked for. It’s her strength and vitality that make her truly a blessing and the immense determination with which she’s always strived to make mom’s dreams come true, even before her own. She’s done so much for this place and I can’t be anything other than proud and grateful to have her as my sister.
"Thank you, sis I’m feeling a little nervous" I confess, distractedly fidgeting with my hair.
"I see that honey but I’m sure everything will be okay" she says, hugging me.
When I open up the door my heart starts beating so fast that I can feel it in my ears, I stare at him in awe: he’s very tall, with broad shoulders, strong arms and an exquisitely slender waist and man, does he look handsome in that white shirt and ripped jeans he’s got on!
"You look fantastic" he says, awkwardly.
“Wow, Noah complimenting Ellie? Did the whole world just turn upside down or something?!" Says Amelia, laughing.
I smile, holding Noah’s hand into mine, then kiss him gently on the cheek and he heartwarmingly smiles back at me.
"I’ve been telling her that she’s beautiful ever since we were kids” he points out.
"You better treat her well", continues Amelia.
"You bet I will" replies he, before waving goodbye to her, letting our evening officially begin.
The climate is delightfully mild tonight, a barely perceivable breeze fondles us gently as we stroll by the streets of Venice and it feels so strange, to be doing it holding Noah’s hand. I never could have imagined that I’d find myself in this situation, one day.
We reach Gjelina, the restaurant.
Noah opens the door for me with a big smile on his face: "This way, darling!"
I return the smile, walking in ahead of him and I’m overjoyed to see him so joyful and carefree. His life never allowed much room for happiness, given his family and the amount of stress they’ve always put him through.
"Thank you" I whisper, referring to the romantic gesture, then softly place my lips against his, although that seems to kinda catch him by surprise. He stiffens up for a second but just as I’m about to move away, he pulls me even closer to him, turning what had initially started out as a soft kiss, into something much more intense.
Breathless, we stop kissing and it’s clear from the way that we’re looking at each other, just how amazed we both are, seeing the intensity of our very own emotions. It is the waiter, standing baffled in front of us, who brings us back to Earth. Noah clears his throat and possessively holds my hand, positioning himself in front of me.
"Have you got a reservation, Sir?" asks the waiter.
Sir? Isn’t that a bit of a premature term to use?
"Yes, the name’s Wilson"
"Okay, thank you. This way please."
We follow the waiter, who takes us to a very intimate table outside in the garden area. Gjelina’s one of my most favorite places, the rustic setting makes it ever, so warm and hospitable and I love that, I always have. Every time I come here, I feel like I’m home and Noah knows that, he knows that well.
"Do you, Sir and Ma’am, already know what you’re going to be ordering tonight?" asks the waiter, as we settle down.
Noah and I glance at each other like two perfect accomplices, because there’s a second very good reason as to why he’s decided to go this place: their pizza, it is the best one you can find in all of Los Angeles! He orders two large ones for the both of us, looking at the waiter sideways though, almost threateningly in a way. As soon as he leaves, Noah pulls my chair closer to his, grabs the upper part of my dress and starts pulling it up. I look at him puzzledly, but he doesn’t seem to notice, being too busy trying to hide any visible skin below my neckline.
"Are you serious?" I say, crossing my arms over my chest.
"Dead serious, did you see the way he was staring at your tits?!"
"No I didn’t, but why does it matter? After all, you’re not so different from him... I’ve caught you doing the same so many times” I tell him, sly.
“Yes, but I’m allowed to do that" he replies, winking and chucking another peanut in his mouth.
I roll my eyes, how are his comebacks are always so flawless?
The pizza was delicious, we’re both full and satisfied, as usual. I lay back in my chair and look around the restaurant, almost melancholically.
"Won’t you miss Venice?" I ask.
Noah shrugs, finishing off the pizza crust in my plate.
"The only ‘thing’ that would hurt me to leave behind, I’m actually taking with, so…" he says, in a serious tone.
"Noah Wilson, why are you so oddly nice to me tonight?" I say, pulling another smile out of him.
If there is one thing I particularly love about Noah it’s his smile, not that there’s anything wrong with his unruly hair, incredibly expressive eyes, tremendously full lips, perfect nose, white teeth, robust backside, sculpted abs and, flawless ass, of course.
"It's true Ellie and by the way, I’ve always been kind to you. You were the one who constantly wanted to bicker!"
"Oh, come on now, what… - I say, bursting out laughing - Have you forgotten about when we were seven and I tossed that cute, little mud ball at your face? I did it only because you’d just told me that I was unbearable.
Have you forgotten about when, a year later, I splattered my birthday cake all over your brand-new white shirt? I did that only because you’d just told me I was a wimp.
Wait and have you forgotten about when, two years later, I poured that last glass of coke on your head? I did that only because you’d just told
me that..."
"That your boobs were growing big and well - he laughs - and that still applies by the way, undeniably! - he becomes serious again - Yes Ellie, I remember about each and every single time you’ve thrown things at me. I used to behave that way only because I wanted to get your attention and try to hate you at the same time.” he admits.
"Why is that?" I curiously ask.
"I don't know, maybe because of Nolan. He’d always make you feel better, so much better than I could, and I had no way to compete with that, so I decided to just stop trying entirely and start pushing you away instead. It was the easiest thing to do.”
"I don’t mean to burst your bubble, but you could never make me hate you… and if we really want to be honest here, you were always the one who’d make me see the light, when everything around me was dark. When my life turned upside down, when mom died and dad stopped being himself… it was you who made me feel alive and hopeful again Noah, it was you all along" I reply, leaning into him to kiss him on the cheek softly.
"You're very special, little Ellie" he whispers close to my lips.
We walk along the beach, stars twinkling high up above our heads. I observe the couples around us, kissing and touching each other with passion, while Noah holds me tight and close, gently fondling my arm.
"What I’ll miss most about Venice is that bohemian vibe it has… this beach, our favorite dockyard. Definitely not the people though, them I can’t wait to leave behind"
My heart sinks hearing his words. I know how much Noah feels unworthy of being loved, it’s all his father’s fault and his mother’s too, for being weak. I’m sure that she loves him dearly, but I also know for a fact that some of the things that he’s had to go through because of his family make it hard for him feel at ease amongst people, even if he’s never went into detail about it.
I stop walking and sweetly pull him towards me, as I look into his eyes, those deep, blue eyes that fail to hide such a tormented, yet noble soul. I want to seal this moment with a kiss, so I go for it, unhesitatingly. I like the idea of ‘collecting’ kisses with Noah on this beach, it's a place that somewhat belongs to us. I slide my hands through his hair, as he encircles my waist and holds me closer to him. He moves his hand up to my neck and as soon as his moist, plum lips move away from mine, to start sucking on it, I lose all rational thought. What he’s doing to me is making my heart jump out of my chest and the moment he realizes the unbelievable effect that he’s having on me, he moves away from me slowly, revealing a sincere and genuine smile. I hold his face into my hands and still not knowing how to this day, I find the courage to ask him that question: