by Orr, Krystal
They would declare her a heretic or a harlot and deem her unfit to be claimed. She would become another Taetylona. Her disease would claim her eventually. Right? What harm was there in unburdening herself of the truth? Nothing mattered to her any longer. Without Arizira, her life was meaningless. In her current condition, there was no hope of her escaping her people and looking for her love. She doubted if she would even be able to make it halfway across the settlement.
If, by a miracle she somehow did escape, the men would easily track her down and bring her back to camp. That, or let her die in the forest. No, she had no hope of ever seeing Arizira again. Their time, though brief, was ended. Lost. Gone.
As long as Arizira remained safe, then Talliea felt her sacrifice had been worthy. Unless Arizira, too, was suffering as she was…
Talliea inhaled as her thoughts rolled through her mind. She was tired and sore and weak. She was lonely and sorrowful. The only thing in the world she wanted, she knew she could never have again. As she continued to watch Markahn, the idea of opening up to him and connecting with another living person grew on her.
She was tired of being alone. Perhaps her words spoken today would have everlasting effects on future events...
"You know so very little, "she started, her words shocking Markahn.
"What?" he asked eagerly.
"The world, Markahn. It is so beautiful. There are forces in this world that we can barely dream of. Beautiful and powerful forces. Life is...everywhere. Beauty is in every event, every motion. We have denied ourselves something wonderful."
Markahn looked confused. "What are you talking about? Is this about Lao'dahn or the woman?"
Talliea's face grew clouded. "We will not speak of her. She is not for you."
"Then this is about Lao'dahn? Is it true what he says? Did he rescue you from the savage woman?"
Talliea sat up and leaned closer to him. "She is not the savage one. She is the one who rescued me. Many times over."
Markahn took in the words with a quick nod of his head. He had been of the belief that Lao'dahn's version of events was more colorful fancy than truth. "What did he do to you?" he asked in a low voice.
Talliea shook her head and bit her bottom lip. She had not even been able to discuss the event in question with Arizira. The only way the other woman had learned of it was through their connection. Talliea knew there was no way she would be able to speak of such a horrid experience to Markahn.
"I can not speak of it, for it shames me still. Know that he took advantage of me in a way that allowed me to keep my purity, but strip me of my dignity."
Standing up, Markahn raked his hands through his hair. He could feel the blood pumping through his body in a heated fury as he tried to calm himself. Why had Talliea not spoken of this to him before now? Why had she allowed Lao'dahn to abuse her without speaking up?
Who would have believed her? the tiny voice in the back of his mind asked him. Who, indeed?
Talliea had suffered in silence because she had not felt as if she would have an advocate. None would have believed her, for they all knew the kind of trouble she was capable of. They would have called her a liar and a nonconformist and any other number of cruel names. All because she thought to speak her mind and be her own person.
"How long ago did this event take place?" Markahn asked, his tone shaken.
"The night before you granted me my freedom," Talliea replied not hesitating.
The night before...why, that had been over three months ago! How long had Lao'dahn been manipulating him? The clan? That would explain his near fanatical obsession in finding Talliea when he and the others believed her to be dead. He had known why she desired to leave so badly.
Like a wave of understanding, several events became alarmingly clear to Markahn. He thought back over the last few months and could easily see a pattern in Lao'dahn's behavior. Turning back around, he met Talliea's tired, but hard, stare.
"The woman...she took you in? Clothed you? Fed you? Kept you safe from Lao'dahn?"
Talliea grew quiet. She did not confirm Markahn's thoughts nor did she deny them. If he wanted answers about Arizira, she would not provide them. Markahn smiled softly, despite the situation. "Your devotion to her is admirable. I hope she is aware of your respect for her."
The words were not bitter or sarcastic. They were spoken with an air of admiration and slight envy.
"She is not open for discussion," Talliea said.
"You said she rescued you. The answer is in that statement."
Talliea sighed. She was tired of talking in circles. "What do you want, Markahn?"
Markahn shook his head and shrugged. He did not know how to explain his thoughts to Talliea. He did not know how to make her trust him. It was painfully obvious that Talliea was not going to speak about the woman she knew. She clammed up at even the mention of her name.
"I want to help. Tell me how to do that."
Talliea frowned. "I can't."
"Why?"
"Because you would not understand!" Talliea barked.
Markahn rounded on her. What was she hiding? Was it her feelings for the woman? Was she aware of them, or had they only been spoken while in her fever-induced dreams? Had they acted on those feelings? Did the woman, Ari, share them? Were there others of her kind? Did they plan to attack the Esu? Did Talleia have information on such an event?
There were too many questions! He was unsure which to ask first and which would provoke a strong response from Talliea. Markahn could not begin to understand how Talliea could have feelings for a woman. The longer he thought over matters, however, the more he came to realize how such a thing should not have come as a surprise to him. Talliea had always been different.
She had always questioned everything, wondered about everything. She had, when younger, believed in love and magic and happy endings. Markahn had watched her, as she had grown into womanhood, come to understand that her ideas about life and dreams and love were nothing more than fanciful notions produced by a young and innocent mind.
That was one of the reasons he had decided to claim her. Not only did he truly have feelings for her, but he knew he could help her achieve what she so desired. He was not like his brothers. He was not cruel or vindictive or manipulative. He had always believed that such attributes would eventually cause Talliea to have feelings for him, that they would fall in love and he could give her the happily-ever-after she so fervently sought.
Looking at her now, seeing her devotion to the woman they had found her with, Markahn came to understand that, even if her feelings were not returned or understood, Talliea would never feel for him even an inkling of what she felt for Ari. She had given a part of herself to that woman that Markahn could never have. Her steadfast refusal to give up any information on the woman, despite her own state of affairs, touched Markahn.
He did not need to understand how feelings could exist between two women to see that Talliea honestly did love Ari.
"I understand," he said in a low and soft voice.
Talliea released a heavy breath as her shoulders slumped. The effort required to verbally spar with Markahn was proving quite taxing. She lowered her eyebrows in confusion but said nothing.
“The woman, Ari--"
"How do you know her name?" Talliea spoke up harshly. "Have you done something to her? I swear, if you have even touched her, I'll--"
Markahn shook his head quickly and held up his hands in a placating gesture. "No, no. We have done nothing, nor have we seen her since we came upon the two of you."
Visibly relaxing, Talliea leaned herself back against her pillows and into a more comfortable position. Several minutes passed as she attempted to reserve her strength. Markahn watched her, but said nothing. He was unsure what to say next. Finally, he decided it was time for him to put his cards on the table. Maybe, in doing so, Talliea would also give him a bit of leeway.
"You're in love with her," he stated simply.
Talliea's eyes opened and she s
tarted at him for a long time. No words were spoken between either. Markahn waited for Talliea to deny his statement while Talliea waited for Markahn to elaborate. Darkness grew outside. Night fell upon the camp of Esu.
Talliea fought with herself. Inside, her mind sparked a war upon itself. She could not deny her feelings for Arizira. Not ever. It would be a dishonor to what they shared. What was Markahn going to do? Banish her? Execute her? Those things did not matter. Talliea, as she looked into Markahn's face, came to understand that she held a special kind of power.
She was a woman with nothing to lose. Her life was forfeit, she realized. Nothing could be done to her that could be any worse than what she had already to done herself. To Arizira. With their separation, Talliea had come to know a new kind of a pain. A new level of suffering.
She smiled. The answer was so simple. She was free.
"Yes," she said into the silence. "I love her. She completes me, makes me a better person. When I was with her, everything made perfect sense. She was the most kind and gentle soul I have ever met. She showed me the world, Markahn. I have lived more with her than I have my entire life with my people. What we shared..."
Markahn noticed the happy and peaceful smile on Talliea's face. She looked more alive now than she had since they brought her back.
"What we shared was the most uplifting and beautiful connection I have ever felt. I knew everything about her. I felt what she felt. I experienced her memories. We found each other, always, in the forest. Even now, I know she still lives. So, yes, I do love her. I shall not deny it to make it easier for you or anyone else. Lao'dahn found us. How, I am unsure. He came upon me and attacked me. We fought, but he was too strong for me."
At this, Markahn sat back down on the edge of her bedding. He leaned closer to hear every whispered word.
"Ari-sera shot him and I fell to the ground. I had never seen her like she was. She was so...feral, her movements so graceful as to be an art. She attacked Lao'dahn. He tried to fight back, but Ari was too fast for him. He never placed a mark upon her. She disarmed him and he groveled at her feet."
Talliea, her eyes long since having turned unfocused, smiled a proud smile at her last words.
"Lao'dahn told us she had taken you hostage, that he fought her in an attempt to rescue you," Markahn said.
Talliea shook her head. "No, Ari-sera fought him to rescue me. We would have gotten away if you and the others had not come. I told her to run so she could save herself. There is no telling what would have been done to her if you or the other men had been allowed to capture her. I could not allow that, so I let her go."
Talliea's tears slowly fell down her face as she brokenly finished her tale. Speaking about Arizira only caused her to miss the other woman that much more. She could remember ever detail of that day in vivid and stark clarity.
How different would things be for her now if Markahn had not come looking for Lao'dahn! Would she and Arizira have gotten away? Would Arizira have killed Lao'dahn? Would the two of them, now, being lying with one another in blissful union, unaware of anything other than them and their own small pocket of the world?
Markahn watched Talliea cry. He could feel her sense of loss, of anguish. Though he did not understand her feelings, he did not believe them to be bad. Esuval taught that love should be sought after at all costs. The teachings were not as popular as they once were, but he still knew them and tried to apply them to his daily life.
If Talliea and this woman were truly in love, how then could he stand in their way? Would he, in doing so, be disobedient to his god? Yes, he answered himself. Yes, he would. It was not his place to stand in the way, despite what current teachings said to the contrary.
"This connection...it sounds like something out of legend," he said, trying to take Talliea's mind away from her sorrow.
"It was," Talliea whispered.
Leaning closer and trying to catch Talliea's eyes, Markahn asked, "Is it responsible for your condition?"
Sniffing and trying to clear her throat, Talliea nodded slowly but kept her eyes downcast. "I believe it is. Ari knew more about it than I. It is the only thing that makes sense to me, though."
Markahn nodded in thought. "Are you going to die?" he asked in a shaky voice.
Talliea inhaled deeply and looked up at the ceiling of the healers' hut. The candles around the room were burning brightly and orange flames and grey shadows danced on the surface of every piece of furniture. She was unsure how she knew, but she believed she was going to die.
Eventually.
Whatever kept her and Arizira connected was slowly killing her, and possibly Arizira, in the absence of the other. She knew she was going to die unless something could be done to reunite her with her lost love.
Looking back at Markahn, Talliea held his gaze for a moment. The man was watching her with and eager, yet sad, interest. He did want to help, she saw. He had not seemed disgusted by her declaration of love. He had not attempted to preach to her or cleanse her of her supposed sins.
He had listened. He had been her friend.
Talliea licked her lips and nodded her head again. "Yes, I believe this illness is slowly killing me." Arizira's words from long ago came back to haunt her. 'It would be as if a slow death for me...'
Her love had been correct when she had uttered those words. It was a slow death. A slow, painful, and agonizing death. How much longer she had, Talliea did not know. She did not wish to find out. In her current state, she was helpless and pathetic. All she could do was lay in bed and be cared for with the most mundane of tasks.
She was not living; she was dying from the inside out.
Markahn shook his head at her words. Tears sprang up in his misty, grey eyes, but they did not fall down his face. He released a gravid breath and reached out for her hand. "You are not going to die. Tell me what you need me to do."
Talliea looked at Markahn in complete disbelief. She could not accept that he was going to help her. Was this all a deception? Was he hoping she would lead him to Arizira? Was that the plan? Win her trust and then take what was most dear to her?
No. Markahn's eyes were not deceitful. In them, Talliea could see the extent of the man's character. He was a good man, a man who wanted to help right the wrongs of his people. He was a man who, despite his methods, had always looked out for her and tried to ensure her happiness.
He was the man who had granted her freedom so that she and Arizira could fall in love. Though that had not been his intention at the time, the act, nevertheless, had helped Talliea on her path to happiness.
She looked from Markahn's hand on her own and back to his eyes. He said nothing, but waited on her for an answer. "I need to get back to her. The bond we share should strengthen when we are together again."
She failed to mention that her bond would also be able to lead her directly to Arizira. Some information was best kept a secret. If Markahn could help her to escape the Esu settlement she would, possibly, have a chance, with his aid, of finding Arizira.
The plan was not perfect or sound, but it was the only plan she had. The alternative was death.
Markahn nodded, a small smile lighting up his face. "I believe I have an idea."
Chapter 6: D'jiira
"Her trust in you is impressive considering you are holding her hand as she walks toward her own demise."
Cynra tightened the fishing line she was using as she looked to her right. Taetylona sat next to her with a second handcrafted pole in her grasp. The two older women were sitting together on a large rock that overlooked a small pond. The body of water was not too far from where they had built their, more permanent, hut.
Nearly a week had passed since Arizira had come to and learned of her destiny, her mother, and Cynra's betrayal of her trust. In that time, she had grown exceedingly reticent. She barely spoke when she was awake. Her time was spent eating and bathing and staring out across the lush forest around her. She never asked why Cynra was away from the tribe or why Taetylona was with h
er. She did not attempt to return to her people or do anything other than just exist.
Her zest for life, her love for everything around her, was gone. Where before her eyes had always been alight with some mischief or happiness, now they were dull and without the shine they once had. Iolirthas stayed by her side nearly every minute of every day, yet Arizira hardly seemed to notice.
She felt as if everyone she had ever known had somehow manipulated or deceived her. No one could be trusted. Not fully. The mother she had always longed to know, to see, was with her and she could not muster up the effort required to feel excitement over that fact. Her days were long, tedious hours that blended together until fatigue or boredom finally brought her a respite.
Cynra had watched Arizira, her beautiful and kind granddaughter, slowly waste away from a lively and energetic woman to a sallow and lethargic husk. Many times she had desired to speak with Arizira, to tell her of their connection to one another and of her enormous guilt over her responsibility in Arizira's affairs, yet, she had not. If Arizira knew that Cynra was her grandmother, her sense of betrayal would only increase tenfold.
There was nothing Cynra could say to Arizira that would make anything in her life feel normal again. Her 'meddling', as Arizira called it, had taken her away from the other half of herself. It had ripped her away from Talliea. Nothing Cynra could say, no emphatic apology or begged understanding, would take away the pain that Arizira felt.
The younger woman did not know how important she was. She could not understand the power her Talliea was going to wield through her. Cynra wondered, if Arizira knew her fate, if it would make her situation better or worse. Would she feel a sense of pride in knowing her feelings for Talliea, her love and devotion, would play a part in the dawn of a new age? Or, would knowing simply exacerbate an already tense situation?