“Lo’s right. Maybe that’s why he was trying to get us to come to him before he died.”
“Not died Con, he was fucking murdered.”
Everything went silent for a hot minute. It was the only thing that we were still having a hard time coming to terms with.
I know for me personally, it was a hard pill to swallow. Outside of my brothers, the old man was the only other human being who’d treated me like I mattered.
Not since my parents’ deaths have I ever felt like I belonged. To know that he’d needed me and I wasn’t there is something I’m never going to get over.
It just solidifies for me the fact that I’m no good. I can’t be depended on. I wasn’t able to save my mother and father and I wasn’t there for the old man.
There’s a part of me that knows that’s stupid, the CO himself would shoot me down for thinking this way, but it wasn’t that easy for me to shake.
I’m always going to feel like a failure when it comes to protecting the ones I love. How can I trust myself with a woman the way my brothers do?
As bad as their childhoods were, none of them had seen the shit I had, or experienced the same level of abuse at the hands of someone who was supposed to love and protect.
I feel like shit thinking this way, especially knowing what they went through. But where most of their abuse had been physical mine had been psychological as well.
When you lived most of your life being told you were tainted from birth. That you were little more than a fucking sin because of the color of your skin. It wasn’t something you could just walk away from.
I’d come to learn over time that my uncle was full of shit. That when he blamed my birth for the death of my parents he was sick in the fucking head.
But it was still something I’d lived with at the worst time in my life. I’d just lost my parents and was scared and alone.
At fourteen I’d been a pretty sheltered kid. My parents were great, but because of the shit they’d faced because they were an interracial couple, they’d gone above and beyond to protect their only son.
I didn’t know much about the real world until they were gone and I ended up in the hands of my uncle. In short the man was a fucking monster. And after years of his bullshit abuse, I’d become hard.
I lost my innocence within the first year after he and his kids had tried to knock the black off my ass. They’d taught me to hate myself, and if not for the great love I bore my parents he would’ve convinced me to hate them too, just for loving each other.
I learned all about hate and distrust in that house, and by the time I signed up I was damn near an animal. There was no love, no light in me; only hate.
I have that shit in me to this day. It took my brothers and the CO to bring me to some semblance of humanity, but that’s where it ended.
It’s easy for the others to believe that I would never harm the woman I love if she does exist, but how can I be sure?
I’m not willing to risk it. I can’t ask anyone, least of all a vulnerable woman to put up with me and the demons that live inside.
It’s not the same with my sisters, I know I would never harm them, or baby Zak. But somehow in my mind it’s not the same.
Mancini’s voice came through the speakers just then shaking me out of my wayward thoughts. I blame Quinn and his shit for my mind even going there. “ETA five minutes, what do you wanna do boys?”
We were already here, there was no time to learn anything new. It’s not like we’ve never gone in with less information than we had now. But this shit had too many tentacles, and too many unknowns for us to slip up.
If Kelly hadn’t overheard those men we wouldn’t have known to look here and we might’ve been too late.
I don’t think any of us would’ve thought his life was in danger, since it was only females being targeted.
We’ve only had this info for less than twenty-four hours and there was no time to dig deeper than we already had.
My gut told me we were missing something but there was no way we were leaving this kid out in the cold.
“We’re going in. We’ll figure shit out after we get the kid outta there.” I answered Mancini just as we turned the corner and the house came into view up ahead.
The place was almost completely dark with nothing but the stars and the sliver of moon for light.
The house was set apart from its neighbors by a good few hundred yards, which would work in our favor.
We drove past the place and did some recon before parking the vehicles on the path behind the structure. There were trees and brush back there and a steep drop off that led to nowhere.
It couldn’t be attacked from behind unless someone wanted to grapple their way up a cliff face and I’m pretty sure there were security measures all around the front and sides.
“Damn, are we all going in there?” There had to be about twelve or more of us.
“No, only the SEALs are going in. The rest of us will surround the place just in case.” Mancini answered Lyon’s question and the rest of them fanned out.
“Quinn?” He was the one in charge of this run so the rest of us will wait on his word.
“You’ve got this one Dev, your gut’s talking, what do you wanna do?”
“Movement in the window, first floor south side. Two hot bodies, one more upstairs moving around, one pliant, might be asleep. Top floor north side.”
Mancini was using one of his toys to see inside. We were armed but no one drew their weapon as we approached.
“We’re clear on the perimeter.” Lo had gone ahead with Con to make sure while Quinn and I headed for the back of the house before making our way around to meet them.
Zak, Ty and Cord were already in position in the shadows and I didn’t see the others as they spread out.
I breathed a little bit easier once it was clear that there was no one else out here with us. But it only raised more questions.
Since we’d botched their plans, and it was obvious from the fly over back at the compound that they knew we were the ones, why hadn’t they sent in another team to take over?
I won’t believe that they were so inept they didn’t have anything else in place. The closer we got to the door the more my gut twisted itself in knots. Some shit was off.
I calmed myself with the fact that they didn’t know Kelly had told us where they were headed, so maybe they thought they had time.
I focused on the door and what laid ahead, putting everything else aside. I had no explanation for the riot going on in my gut, but I stayed on high fucking alert.
We’d decided we were gonna go in easy if there were no impediments, so instead of storming the place, we rang the doorbell; out of respect for the CO and his friendship with the man inside.
One of the shadows in the window moved and a middle aged African American male opened the door a few seconds later.
The smile on his face kinda threw me, until I remembered what Quinn had said earlier about us being expected.
A swift look around the room, showed that there were only two occupants in the room and my body relaxed though my insides remained on high alert.
“I’m guessing from your welcoming look that you know who we are and why we’re here.”
“Come in. I’m guessing there’re more of you out there, tell your friends to come on in.”
Lo whistled and the bushes outside came alive as the guys came out of hiding and headed to the door.
31
Devon
The younger man, who I recognized once his face came into the light as Track, came to stand next to his dad.
It was more like he shielded the older man with his body, but he did it in such a smooth strategic way, that someone without my training would’ve missed it.
I wasn’t sure until now how I felt about the kid, seeing as he was a damn criminal. But that move solidified him in my estimation.
That and the way he sized up the rest of us without seeming to. And there was no fear in him
. He kinda reminded me of a younger me after I’d got out from under my uncle’s thumb. Puffed up with my own strength.
I moved forward while the others hung back a bit still having that feeling in my gut like something was awry. I didn’t feel like we’d walked into a trap, but there was definitely something nagging at me.
“Did you explain things to him?” I kept my eyes on the old man but could feel the tension coming off his son. He wasn’t saying shit, but his body said a lot.
“He’s not the one you’re here for.” I sensed as much as heard Lo move behind me.
“I’m sorry? I was under the impression that you spoke to the admiral…”
“Of course I spoke to Mac. Had I not you would’ve gotten a completely different reception. But like I said, my son’s not the one you’re here for.”
“I don’t understand, the pattern here is kids…”
“Yes I know but….” Before he could say more his son all but placed himself between the two of us and got in my face.
“What the fuck do you want with my sister?” I didn’t let the surprise show in my eyes, but I’m gonna gut Mancini’s ass for sending us in blind. I knew some shit was wrong with this picture.
First off, until his name showed up in those codes we’d never heard of Terrence Samson. We knew the other men or had heard of them in some way over the years, this guy was a complete surprise.
If we’d had more time we probably would’ve learned more, but there was no use going over that shit again, we were here now.
I finally switched my attention to the boy while the rest of the team came to grips with this new turn of events. I didn’t have to hear them to know what they were thinking.
At least it made sense now that he had a daughter, but why hadn’t we seen anything about her in the search? Another question for later.
“Calm down young blood we’re not here to hurt her.” I played it off like we’d known about the girl. Maybe she was one of the warm bodies upstairs and wasn’t off somewhere that we’d have to go hunt her down, my ass was tired.
Just as I was about to ask, Mancini uttered the word ‘incoming’, and there was movement at the top of the stairs.
There was another shift in the room as everyone went on alert and all eyes turned in the direction of the footsteps.
“Track, dad, what’s going on?” Shit, that voice sent chills down my spine. It was one of those distinct voices that do shit to your insides and I wondered if the others felt it too. Not good!
It’s just a voice Devon for fuck sake chill. But I knew, even before I laid eyes on her, I knew that something was going to change for me in the next few seconds. Maybe Quinn’s woo-hoo shit was rubbing off.
I flicked my eyes up and over towards the stairs and she was just there. Her eyes flew open in surprise and there was a hint of fear in them when she saw us. I sensed more than saw her body tense up and had the strong urge to go to her.
She stared back at me and the lightest of smiles crossed her lips before she looked at her family. Her eyes went around the room before coming back to me.
I felt the attraction in my gut even as I told myself it wasn’t real. It’s not like she was the first woman to get a rise out of me. So I told myself that there was no great mystery.
She just happened to have one of those faces. Like a beautiful movie star that you admire from afar but know you’d never meet, never have. She packed a punch I’ll give her that.
I didn’t have a ready explanation for the sudden heaviness that seemed to permeate the air and suck all the oxygen out of the room.
Or for the fact that for the barest of seconds it seemed like we were the only two people in that room. I couldn’t look away and it seemed neither could she.
I looked at her for so long that my head grew light, and something hit me in the gut. It felt like time stood still, what a cliché.
In the back of my mind I knew what was happening to me, I’d heard my brothers describe this very thing a time or two. But I still couldn’t accept, refused to accept that this corny shit was real.
When she finally broke eye contact with me it was as if I came out of a fog. I could hear and feel the others again and my body slowly relaxed.
I knew that no time had passed. That it had only been a matter of seconds, but it felt like half a lifetime.
What the fuck is this? What’s going on here? I felt something I hadn’t felt in too many years to count just by looking at her; I felt, peace.
My vision blurred and I was shocked to realize there were tears in my eyes. “Fuck me!” I looked back at my brothers. “I’m fucked.”
Something must’ve came across in my tone because Lo and Quinn moved to flank me while I felt my other brothers crowd around me when I turned back to look at her.
Once again I didn’t see or hear anything else, in those few seconds, there was just her. Like she had an almost uncanny ability to take me out of myself. I swallowed and tried to get my heart to go back to its place.
She couldn’t be real and this couldn’t be happening. My life wasn’t a fucking Lifetime movie. I’d safeguarded myself against things like this. This isn’t supposed to happen to me.
I’d built a wall around myself, a wall that only had room for my brothers and now their families, but that is as far as I am willing to go.
Besides, look at her, she’s so feminine, so delicate. There’s no fucking way I can go there. The thought hurt so fucking bad it was like a physical pain. Like I’d taken a beating from a battalion.
I opened my mouth to speak but the words wouldn’t come. Before I could say anything the boy headed towards her on the stairs.
Once again he was putting himself between his family and us and I couldn’t help but admire his guts. I had no doubt every man in the room was sizing him up.
“Daddy, I’m sorry, you didn’t tell me we were having guests.” She started to walk back upstairs but his words stopped her.
“No sweetheart don’t leave, come here to me.” She came shyly down the stairs and did not look at any of us as she walked to his side. She even walked pretty, like her feet didn’t touch the ground.
He patted her hand and she put her arm through his and kissed his cheek before leaning her head on his shoulder.
The move was so innocent, so intimate, it reminded me of something baby Zak would do when she was conning one of us out of something she knew she shouldn’t have.
She was closer now, close enough for me to reach out and touch. I could smell her scent, like a Mediterranean garden at night.
Just looking at her made me want things I know I can’t have. In all the times I’ve heard the others speak about how it had been for them when they found their women, I never once believed that shit was real.
That sense of knowing, it was there. It was the wrong fucking time though. I needed to put it aside and do what we came here to do.
But some shit was happening to me in real time, something I couldn’t deny. And I’m fucked if I didn’t want to turn tail and run.
Had they also felt this fear in the gut the way I now did? Had they questioned everything they’d ever known, ever believed? Just from that one look into their woman’s eyes?
And there you have it. The reason Tyler’s been calling them all bitch made. I sure wasn’t feeling very manly right about now. But if he knew what it was then it was obvious that he felt it too. Idiot!
I was waiting for one of the others to say something, ask the obvious questions anything, since I seemed to have lost my damn senses. But it looked like they were still letting me run the show.
Maybe they hadn’t picked up on the fact that I was losing my shit, and I didn’t want them to. So I got my shit together and tried to remember at least some of what I’d been trained to do.
But then she looked at me with the most open smile I’d ever seen, and the dimples in her cheeks were the last fucking straw.
I wanted to reach out and touch her, just dip my finger into that pit in her cheek. D
imples are like my weakness. I’ve always been a sucker for them and hers were fucking perfect.
I shook my head to clear it before I felt Quinn’s hand on my shoulder. I steadied myself, wondering the whole time what the fuck was wrong with me.
“Honey, remember what we talked about earlier? No, there’s no reason to be afraid.” He calmed her when she became flustered.
“These men are here to take you to somewhere safe. I’ll come get you soon, it won’t be long okay little one? I promise.”
“Dad, what the hell are you talking about?”
“Not now son I’ll tell you later.” The young man didn’t seem too pleased with that answer but he had enough discipline to hold his peace.
She looked around at us and there were tears in her eyes. She was obviously an adult, maybe nineteen-twenty, but she seemed way more innocent than someone her age.
There was still one glaring question hanging in the air. How come she didn’t show up on the radar?
“And you are?” I reached out my hand for hers and she finally focused on me up close and personal.
My gut went into a spin and I nose dived right into the abyss. She was fucking gorgeous. The tears in her eyes made them shine like some otherworldly creature.
There was a look in them that made my heart melt in my chest. Sadness, fear, confusion. I drew her towards me before I could help myself.
“Ariel!” She said her name like a whisper on the wind and I heard chiming bells and waterfalls. “Ariel!” I didn’t realize I’d said it out loud until I heard it come back to me on a whisper.
Behind me the others were putting her name into one of our little toys to look her up. I only heard Mancini say one thing, “nothing”, which was all the answer I needed. She wasn’t in anyone’s database.
I looked back at the others again as my mind tried to process. I don’t think any of us had expected this twist. There weren’t many people who could be off the grid like this, and not many reasons why someone would need to be.
“We gotta go!” I didn’t look away from her when I said the words to her dad. Her brother made a move but his dad checked him. “No Track! I’ll explain everything but your sister has to leave now.”
SEAL Team Seven Books 6&7 Quinn and Devon Page 21