“Dammit, how did this get so fucked? Okay, so now it’s three of them we gotta watch, fuck my life. Okay, Con has Ty, Mancini has Lyon, but who the fuck is gonna keep his ass in check?”
‘That would be you Lo, you’re the one in charge.” Thank fuck! I don’t want to be in charge of shit. I just wanna break some heads and get on with my life.
“I’m gonna fuck Khalil’s shit up for this shit alone. The rest of you get some sleep, who knows what the hell is coming next.”
“We’re gonna owe the girls big when this shit is all said and done.” Zak clapped me on the back and moved off.
“And you, we’re gonna have a little chat about what the fuck is going on with you.” Lo pointed at me before he too walked away.
35
Devon
I headed back to the cottage and after checking in on her laid down on the couch. It took me a while to fall asleep because she was so close.
My whole body was tense and ready to spring, I was wound too tight to give in to slumber. I tossed on the small ass couch and almost fell on my ass and only gave a passing thought to joining her in bed.
I wonder what she’d do if she rolled over in the morning to find me next to her? The idea was too damn appealing so I had to lock it off quick before I did something I’d regret.
My mind went back and forth between her and the shit we were dealing with. I still didn’t know where she fit in, why her dad knew enough to keep her so well hidden, but maybe I’ll get those answers when I call him later.
I’d at least remembered to send him a quick text since like he said he wasn’t sure how secure his home was, but at least he knew his daughter was safe.
I thought of the CO and the things he’d said, the fact that he’d been murdered, and the rage that I’d held at bay for so long threatened to overwhelm me.
It wasn’t just that he’d been taken from us, but the way in which he’d been taken, by those he should’ve been able to trust.
He’d spent his life in service to his country only to lose it at the hands of traitors. I know Lo is right. That we need to get the women back before we make a move.
But I also know he’s full of shit. I’d bet anything if any of us run into that fuck he’s as good as dead. If Lyon and Ty decided to make an end run I just might join them.
As it stands I’m the only one who doesn’t have anything to lose. I looked towards the bedroom door before the thought faded. She’s not yours Dev.
I shut it down but once I blocked out all the other noise my focus went right back to her. I was right back there to that moment when I first saw her standing on those stairs.
The burn in my gut was the same, and that feeling like I was falling off a cliff. Could love really be this potent, this invasive? Or was it just lust?
Somehow that didn’t feel right. I’ve felt lust, even strong attraction before, but nothing ever felt like this. Nothing ever bowled me over. I for damn sure never obsessed over a woman before, not even when I was a teen.
It didn’t make sense that she should affect me this way, not with all the safeguards I’d put in place to protect myself and my heart. And why am I going around in circles with this shit?
I’m still in control aren’t I? I haven’t completely lost my mind like my brothers have, which seemed to be a prerequisite for this love shit.
I’d watched each and every one of them, act in ways I never would’ve expected once they found ‘the one’, I wasn’t feeling any of that. Am I?
No, but I’m not the same man I was before I walked into that house, that much I will admit to. If I didn’t know better I would think that there was something otherworldly at work here.
I’m not the love at first sight type, and I’m not one for fanciful leanings. But sure as fuck something touched me tonight.
The raw emotion she brought out in me was confusing. That soft gentleness about her makes me want to wrap her up in something soft and protect her from everything. Where did she learn to be that fucking angelic?
If that wasn’t enough, she’s so fucking beautiful it’s crazy. She has that kind of rare beauty that once you’ve seen it it’s hard to forget.
The thought gave me fucking agida. Did other men see her the way I do? Yeah Dev, you’re not in love or anything. So why the fuck, do you want to kill imaginary men just for looking at her, for having seen her beauty?
Go to sleep Devon, just go the fuck to sleep, you’re not making any sense. I felt a cold shiver run down my spine and straight through to my gut.
Is this how it starts? Quinn that asshole has been acting kinda squirrely since he met Kelly on the beach. It’s like he’s there, but his mind isn’t.
I have no doubt that each of my brothers and the men who’d joined us could and would do the job, but there was no denying that something had changed.
Lo spends more time worrying about Gaby and what the fuck she’s getting up to than he does anything else these days, and all the others are pretty much the same.
It’s like the women have taken over every part of their brain. Something I used to tease them about until now I find myself on this damn couch thinking about her when I should be trying to figure out where the fuck the Fox is hiding so we could end his stupid ass.
I was able to bring my head back somewhat and focus more on the situation at hand. At least we had all the daughters of the CO’s old team accounted for and they were safe.
But the fact that she’d been so well hidden still messed with my head. I could understand her dad going to those lengths if he knew something more than the others, but wouldn’t he have shared his fears with the rest of his team?
Why hadn’t the others known that something was coming? It was obvious from the CO’s video that he didn’t have all the information before he was killed.
It seems he’d believed that only he was in danger of Khalil’s vengeance, he and whoever is shielding the girl he’d taken out of Saudi Arabia.
Or was it something else? Had she been in danger from another source? I wish now that I had pressed her father for more. It doesn’t matter, she’s with me now and nothing and no one is going to fuck with her, not on my watch.
My mind went to the faceless girl that Khalil was hunting down. Khalil has to be dealt with no question, but we need to make sure this kid was safe first and foremost.
I could understand the old king’s fear and the lengths he’d gone to-to protect his own. I wouldn’t want that fuck married to my daughter either, the guy’s totally fucking evil.
He’s not the first to want to reignite history, Mussolini did that shit when he thought he was fucking Napoleon, but this guy takes that shit to a whole new level.
He seriously believes that he should destroy everyone who doesn’t look and think like him, and unlike the others, he’s not playing.
We’ve gone after Khalil before, more than once in fact. And each time we thought we had him, he somehow slipped away.
The last time we’d been sure we had him, only to have him resurface later. He’d taken Vanessa because she was Zak’s and she’d escaped thank fuck, but it’s obvious now that all our women are in danger as long as he remains alive.
Our women! Unlike the others I’m not about to jump in with both feet. I have way too much baggage for any one woman to deal with.
The dark shit that had happened to me in the past was easy for me to push aside over the years, but I’ve always had that fear that that shit lived inside me.
I know about the cycle of abuse, that those who’ve experienced that shit are more prone to offend, and it scares the shit out of me that I could ever do that.
It didn’t matter that I’m so good with my niece and now all the other kids that we’ve come to know. I’m not with them twenty-four seven. They’re not my sole responsibility.
What happens if I take that step and one day my kid cries too hard, or bothers me while I’m busy? Would I snap and hurt him or her? My gut hurt at the thought.
And what about her?
I wasn’t my uncle’s only victim. He’d beaten the shit out of his wife and kids as well, it was just that with me he had a special kind of hate.
The burns and the beatings were bad enough, but it was the psychological bullshit he’d subjected me to that makes me afraid to put myself out there.
And someone like her, so beautiful, so sheltered, what the fuck would I do to her? The thought makes me physically sick.
To think that I could harm something that fucking beautiful was too much to bear. I can’t risk it, can’t subject her or anyone else to who I might be.
But that feeling, that knowing in my gut, was it possible to walk away? If it was just a sexual urge to take her, that could easily be dealt with. But the truth is, that was just a small part of it, the least of it truth be told.
The attraction was there no doubt about that. But it was the emotion that had me by the balls. I’ve been protecting myself since my teens against things like this.
I never want to lose someone I love again in this life. It’s one of the reasons I’d held myself back from my brothers in the beginning.
I understand the laws of attraction, I know that shit follows me around and I’ve never cared enough to find help, because my mind was already made up that I was never going to do the family thing. So there was no danger of me repeating the abuse.
My brothers are grown ass men, they can hold their own if I ever lost my damn mind. But a defenseless woman, one as little as she is; no fucking way.
I came full circle and was back to her again. I made myself stay where I was when the need to go take one last look overwhelmed me.
She’s no longer hidden Devon, she’s out there now. What if someone else goes after her? I ran through all the men that were here while my heart beat like a drum.
All married or otherwise attached. I started to calm down until I remembered Mancini’s people, are they married? What the fuck, are you doing?
I don’t know, but I’m going to make sure no one gets near her. I’ll tell Hank in the morning to keep his people away from her. I’ll take care of her myself.
I actually laid there worrying about some unknown male getting too close to her. That right there was enough of a red flag for me.
That jealousy shit wasn’t something I learned at my uncles fists, that shit was all me. And that’s what I feared would lead to the abuse.
It’s a no win situation. I’m just not cut out for this shit. I almost wish I’d never met her. Until her I never had these questions, I was never tempted.
But somewhere in the back of my mind I knew that it wasn’t going to be that easy. That now that I’d seen her, touched her, smelt her, she was going to live inside me for a long-long time.
36
Devon
I must’ve dozed off because the next thing I knew there was movement coming from the bedroom. I sat up and rubbed the sleep from my eyes.
It was ten o’clock local time. I’d had five solid that was good enough. My first thoughts were happy, she was here, and then I remembered that I couldn’t have her. “Fuck!”
I headed into the shower and got myself together letting the water beat down on me, clear my head. It was obvious she’d already been in there because of the used towel that was neatly folded over the rack and the condensation on the shower door.
I stared at that towel like a freak for a solid five seconds before shaking myself out of it. I took my time in there shaving and puttering around, afraid to go out there and face her.
Shit, I didn’t think to get my clothes from the bedroom. I looked at the clothes I slept in with distaste, no fucking way. Who are you getting pretty for Dev? Fuck you! Swear to fuck my subconscious laughed at me.
In the end I had no choice but to wrap the towel around me and head back out to the living room. I half expected to find her there but the room was empty.
When she didn’t come through the door but instead I heard the springs of the bed as if she sat down again, I went to the door.
I knocked softly, not wanting to scare her, not quite sure what she must be thinking about all this. I didn’t want to rush in and start interrogating her but time was of the essence.
“Are you decent?”
“Yes!” Was her voice always that innocent, that soft? Or was it fear? I opened the door slowly, bracing myself for the sight of her, but nothing could prepare me.
In the morning sunlight, she was even more gorgeous than I remembered. Her hair was tousled and sleep sexy. Her lips and face were bare of any enhancements and she looked so young and….sad.
It was the sadness that got to me as I walked into the room. I stopped a good ten feet away, not invading her space.
“I’ll just grab some clothes and be right back.” I rifled through the bag which I had yet to unpack for some cargo shorts and a tank.
Back in the bathroom I hurried into my clothes and went back to her. She was sitting exactly where I left her at the edge of the bed with a pillow on her lap.
“Are you okay sweetheart?” She nodded her head and hugged the pillow to her chest. “Yeah, I’m just a little...” She shrugged her shoulders and looked away.
“Would you like to call your dad? Let him know you’re okay?” She nodded her head and held out her hand for my phone.
There was an innocence to her that touched something in me. I didn’t get the sense that she had any impairments or disabilities, but she was almost childlike in her behavior.
I’d noticed it last night as well, but had been too spellbound by her beauty to think too hard about it. “Daddy it’s me. Yes I’m okay. No I just woke up. Okay!”
She held the phone out to me. “This is Devon.” I was sure I didn’t need to tell him any more than that. If he was anything like the old man he already knew all he needed to about the seven of us.
“I’ll call you later at this number, now’s not a good time. Her brother isn’t handling this well and I have to take care of him, make sure he doesn’t get himself into trouble.”
“I’m trusting you to take very good care of her you hear me son? Don’t you let those motherfuckers get anywhere near my girl.”
“You have my word sir.” She watched me intently as I spoke, her eyes almost hypnotizing. So much so that I had to look away as I finished my conversation with her dad.
I didn’t learn anything more but at least he knew his kid was safe. Now what to do with her? “Come on sweetie you need to eat something.”
She smiled and got off the bed, following me from the room. I was nervous as hell and had no idea why. She was silent as she walked beside me, her head turning this way and that as she took in the beauty of the island.
“Do you live here?”
“No baby, we’re just staying here for a few days. Brace yourself, you’re about to meet my brothers and sisters.”
It was obvious from the way the women were staring in our direction that the guys had filled them in.
Shit, I wonder what hell they were about to put me through. Dani was the first to leave her seat and meet us halfway.
“Hi, Ariel is it? That’s such a beautiful name. Oh my word you’re gorgeous.” She laughed nervously and shook Dani’s hand before we carried on to the patio where it looked like everyone was already seated.
Even the kids were sitting around having breakfast and the atmosphere was light and happy. Anyone looking would think we were on vacation.
I seated her next to me and ignored the stares from my nosy ass sisters as I introduced her around.
She didn’t seem very comfortable and I was a little bit surprised when she inched closer to me. The others seemed to catch on and eased up a little.
“What do you like to eat baby?” It would appear that I’d picked up the nasty habit of calling her by those cute little endearments without provocation.
“Fruit, is there fruit?”
“I’ll get you some.” I loaded up a plate with fruit and got her some juice, placing it in front of her before getting another for myself.
I ignored my brothers and their questioning looks until it became too much. One look at Lo told me he was waiting to hear if I’d learned anything so I just shook my head at him to hold it.
The conversation picked up again and they were talking about mundane shit. The women wanted to go shopping and the men were telling them no. Same old same old.
She was quiet and I had to glare at my family a time or two as they stared at her. “Ariel, why don’t us girls show you around?”
Cierra offered and the other women were only too happy to jump from their seats. Nosy fucks! She looked at me as if asking permission and once again I was struck by her innocence.
“It’s okay baby I’ll be right here.” She excused herself to the others at the table and I watched her walk away with the women. For some reason I was tempted to call her back and keep her with me.
“So?” Quinn didn’t even let them clear the damn door before he was getting into my shit.
“So what?”
“Come on Dev, is she?”
“Is she what Zak? When the fuck did you lot turn into women?”
“It’s obvious you like her, and last night you looked like you were damn near ready to shit bricks, what gives?”
“What gives is that we have a madman on the loose and some female out there whose life is in danger. I don’t have time for all that other shit right now.”
I didn’t even look at Lo who wasn’t saying anything but was still saying a fuck of a lot with his staring shit.
“Did you call her father?” Lo finally asked.
“Yes, but he couldn’t talk. Track’s giving him trouble he said he’ll call later.”
“Okay!”
“Wait, that’s it?”
“You’ll talk when you’re ready. The rest of you stand down.”
Ty mumbled some shit under his breath and then we got sidetracked by Mancini, who came running out the door.
SEAL Team Seven Books 6&7 Quinn and Devon Page 24