*
It took the better part of two days to make the crossing. The sea was fairly bumpy as the ship sailed through the Bay of Biscay, and the two boys were seasick as a result. Thankfully, their aunt was waiting for them when they arrived at Portsmouth docks. What a thrill it was to see them fall into her arms with such joy, at last safe with a member of their family.
‘Thank you so much for bringing them home safe,’ the lady said, vigorously shaking Brenda and Emma’s hands, then giving them a kiss on each cheek. ‘You wouldn’t believe what a relief it is to see them again.’
‘We understand completely,’ Brenda said with a soft smile, then went to give the boys a farewell shake of the hand. ‘Take care and enjoy life, as your parents would wish you to do.’
They met her gaze with great affection and gratitude, then wrapped their arms about Brenda to give her a hug, and did the same with Emma. ‘We will, and thank you.’
Emma’s parents too were there waiting for her, and she hugged them with relief and tears in her eyes. ‘Any news?’ she asked, and they sadly shook their heads.
Bravely, she tightened her trembling lips and turned to Brenda. ‘I shall hold fast to my faith that when this war is finally over, Paul will eventually return.’
‘I pray that we will both find our missing loved ones,’ Brenda said.
The moment had come to say goodbye, which felt utterly heartrending considering they’d lived as close as sisters, enduring years of trauma together. Emma lived in Devon while Brenda would be taking a train north to Manchester, then probably a bus on to the Pennines.
‘I can hardly imagine life without you,’ she said, tears rolling down her cheeks.
‘I’m sure we’ll meet up again one day,’ Emma assured her with tears in her own eyes as they again hugged each other tight.
‘Of course we will,’ Brenda firmly responded, even as her stomach pulsed with that all-too-familiar sense of loneliness.
Moments later they were waving goodbye and she watched them all walk away. The boys’ aunt had an arm around each of them, and Emma walked arm in arm with her parents. How Brenda wished she could savour the same experience, but she had no family at all. Never had, in fact. And having started to build one of her own, that too was now gone. There wasn’t a single person waiting to welcome her home.
Standing on the platform as they disappeared from view she felt totally alone in the world.
Twenty-Three
1946
Hugh went to speak to Dino, hearing how he planned to increase the flock of sheep, build more greenhouses for food production and improve mechanisation even further.
‘The state of the country being what it is, food rationing isn’t going to end any time soon,’ he said. ‘And hopefully pricing guarantees will continue for a while longer too.’
Shaking his hand, Hugh agreed that he’d be welcome to take charge of the farm. ‘No rent needed. The work and investment you’ll be offering is more than enough. We’re in a new world now and must learn to work together as a team, particularly now that you are part of the family. If I was a little doubtful about you at first, it was probably as a consequence of my own losses. And also because Prue had made a hasty decision over her first marriage when she was young and foolish, which turned out to be a bad mistake. I was fearful that her impulsive, rebellious nature might again be leading her into trouble. But clearly that is not the case. Thank you for making my sister happy.’
‘She’s also made me the happiest man alive,’ Dino said with a smile.
‘Then you are most fortunate.’
With tears in her eyes, Prue gave her brother a hug. ‘Thank you for welcoming Dino into the family. I do hope one day you will find happiness too.’
‘I’m slowly getting the message that we need to move forward,’ Hugh agreed, ‘and will be making new plans of my own.’ Then giving her cheek a quick kiss and calling Kit to heel, he walked proudly away. Prue did not fail to notice the sunlight flashing on a slight wash of tears in his grey eyes, making them shine like velvet.
‘Something is still troubling him,’ she said, giving a little sigh. ‘But I can’t quite make out what it is. Ah well, come on, let’s look over the farm.’
‘I am quite familiar with it,’ he laughed.
‘I know, but we need to make some decisions.’
They explored the great stone barns filled with the sweet scent of hay, the milking parlour and the tractor shed, giggling like children as they examined gear-sticks and steering wheels with their probing fingers. Then they moved on to the sheep-folds, and the lush green intake land close to the cottage where the flock was wintered.
‘Yet more walls are crumbling,’ Dino said, examining the dips and holes in the drystone wall that circled the field.
Prue laughed. ‘Wall building was a job my father hated. He always said he’d get round to it tomorrow. But tomorrow never came, and poor old Joe never has enough time to do everything. You did the best job but next time you repair a wall, you will not be arrested, my darling.’
At that moment old Joe ambled over from the sheep pen where he was in the process of inspecting and trimming hooves. Crook in hand as he stood before them, he gave a toothless grin. ‘Eeh, lad, it’s good to see thee back. I’m busy removing mud, manure and small stones to stop foot rot. Asta come to help wi’ the sheep?’
‘I have, Joe. Every day from now and forever. Good to see you too.’
‘That’s gradely! Let’s get cracking, then.’
As Dino went off to assist with this back-breaking task, Prue beamed at them both with joy and pride. While Dino and Joe were looking after the animals, she would grow food. This was to be their new future together. Next, she must speak to Brenda to see what decisions she had made for her own.
*
Brenda was delighted to learn that Hugh had agreed to hand over the running of the farm to Prue and Dino. If only he’d welcomed her into the family too. As if the anguish of living without her husband and son wasn’t enough for her to contend with, he’d accused her of lying and being an imposter, possibly because he was influenced by Melissa. In addition, he had arrogantly dismissed the idea she’d put to him, absolutely refusing to allow her to join the family business. Irritating as this attitude was, to her amazement she found herself missing him more than the job. Why was that, when he’d been most obnoxious towards her?
Having made up her mind to satisfy her passion for baking by starting a business of her own, Brenda found a possible shop to rent in nearby Greenfield. She’d certainly learned a good deal over the years, and from Mrs Harding too in recent weeks. Prue happily agreed to supply her with fruit, vegetables, milk and eggs.
‘Whatever I can provide,’ she said as they looked over the premises together. ‘If you’re sure this is what you want to do.’
‘It certainly is.’ The excitement of developing her own business thrilled and engrossed Brenda far more than she would ever have thought possible. ‘My funds are limited, of course, and rationing means the shop could only open for three days a week. But I believe it will do well. I’ll need ovens, cake tins, trays, racks, mixing equipment, loads of stuff for the kitchen, as well as shelving to store the finished products in the shop itself.’ She’d already visited a local warehouse to take advice on what was needed by way of equipment, carefully making the point that she must keep things to a minimum and not overspend.
‘Plus you’ll need to do lots of advertising to prove that your cakes and puddings are made from local products,’ Prue said. ‘But how are you going to find the necessary money for all of these requirements? Have you spoken to the bank manager yet?’
‘I have, yes, and he was most accommodating. After various questions to check my skills and abilities, including what I can afford, he has agreed to make me a small loan. I’m going to see him tomorrow to sign the necessary paperwork, once I’ve made up my mind to take this shop on. What do you think of it?’
Prue frowned. ‘It’s a bit shabby and woul
d need a good clean, although I’m sure that’s possible. There’s also a crack in the window and the door seems warped, as it’s difficult to close. Will the landlord fix those problems? And where would you live?’
‘There are a couple of rooms above the shop. They too would need quite a bit of attention, let alone buying a bed and a few pieces of furniture, perhaps from the local pawn shop,’ she said with a giggle.
Going upstairs to inspect this possibility, Prue looked unimpressed. ‘It would be quite a task. But that’s not the main problem. I just wish you didn’t have to take the risk of borrowing so much money, particularly when Jack left you well provided for. It must be so annoying for you.’
‘I prefer not to think about that any more. I’m concentrating on building a new life. Wish me luck.’
After Prue had gone, Brenda sat for some time mulling things over. She couldn’t deny that she too was anxious about the risk involved, but knew in her heart that it was one she must take, if only for the sake of her son. She’d decided to widen her search for Tommy, privately vowing never to stop looking for him. And if and when she finally found him, he would need to be provided for. Should she never succeed in doing that, then at least she would have given herself a reason to get up each day and go on with life. Reinstating her courage and determination by working hard, as well as thinking positively, was surely the best way to block off the sadness and depression that kept overwhelming her.
Locking the shop up and returning the key, Brenda went back to her flat in Castlefield, where she spent a sleepless night struggling to reach a decision. The following morning she returned to the shop, standing in the village street staring at it with fresh hope in her heart. She was about to go and see the owner to sign the rental agreement when she heard the soft tones of an all-too-familiar voice. ‘We need to talk.’
*
Nature had cloaked the hills with the bronze of autumn bracken. There were flags of gold on every tree, a landscape enhanced by the emerald delights of sloping pastures and wooded banks. How she loved the Saddleworth villages of Greenfield, Uppermill, Delph and many more with their grey stone cottages, cobbled streets and the canal that ran from Ashton-under-Lyne all the way through to Huddersfield. No boats carrying goods were cruising along it today as they walked on the towpath, the scene one of peaceful tranquillity. It felt as if once again they were celebrating the end of the war. But the pounding in her heart was not at all peaceful, being filled with tension.
‘How can you possibly hope to survive?’ Hugh quietly asked, Kit the collie trotting along beside him as usual.
Brenda stifled a sigh. ‘Why would I not? Prue and I work well together. She will supply most of the essential ingredients and I see no reason why I can’t make a perfectly good living from baking, which as you know, I love doing.’
‘I agree that you are an excellent cook, and have been most helpful to Mrs Harding—to all of us, in fact.’
‘Very kind of you to say so, even though Melissa does not agree.’
‘I’m fully aware that you are no longer a servant,’ he added with a wry smile, which almost made her want to giggle. ‘And I’m sorry my sister insists upon treating you as such.’
‘She’ll have to accept the truth eventually.’ Brenda almost added: as will you too. But she couldn’t quite pluck up the courage to say that.
‘I’m just wondering why you would take such a risk. Prue has told me about this loan you’ve been offered, and in my opinion the rent sounds a bit high. Why do that? I doubt Jack would approve.’
‘What alternative do I have, since I am not to be allowed a penny from the will he made to protect my future?’
Silence followed this remark for some time. They were approaching the Standedge Tunnel, begun back in the eighteenth century and completed by Thomas Telford in 1811. Brenda knew that the engineers had suffered enormous problems building it. But through hard work and effort, had finally succeeded in creating a tunnel that ran for more than three miles under the Pennines, which had greatly helped industry at the time. So why shouldn’t she work hard to achieve success too, and feel free to do whatever she thought right for her own future?
‘He must have loved you very much,’ Hugh softly commented, ending the silence between them.
His words touched her deeply, not at all the response she’d expected. And the smile they exchanged this time skittered her senses all the more. ‘I believe I’ve told you on numerous occasions that Jack and I were very much in love, which is why we married.’
‘Yet you don’t even have a ring to prove it.’
A shiver ran down her spine as Brenda recalled the day of her arrest. ‘I gave it to Camille to look after for me, when I was taken away to be interned. Sadly, my wedding ring is now lost along with my husband and son. And the solicitor’s clerk has informed me the case is closed, since all documentation has been destroyed by the bombing. Such is the effect of war. But I hope you will eventually come round to accepting the truth, if only out of love for your late brother,’ she said, meeting his curious gaze with a stern one of her own.
‘Jack and I were very close,’ he quietly admitted. ‘I miss him greatly.’
‘Me too.’
Spotting a line of ants parading along beside her, Brenda stepped to one side and he accidentally bumped into her. ‘Sorry,’ he said.
She mumbled something about it being her fault, his smile setting her head spinning as it had done that time when she’d tripped over a tree root and fallen into his arms. He smelled of the woodland, Lifebuoy toilet soap and Brylcreem, and Brenda felt a sudden desire to touch his lips with her own; to offer him all the love he seemed in need of that lay unused within her. Loneliness must be making her go mad, she thought, quickly tossing a stick for Kit to chase in order to distract herself. Loving a dog was surely much safer.
Hugh cleared his throat, almost as if he was attempting to control his own emotions, or a sense of guilt. ‘I should apologise for my behaviour when first you arrived.’
A wave of pity washed over her as she saw how his eyes looked suddenly bleak. ‘Don’t worry about that. I’m perfectly well aware you were going through a difficult patch at the time, as was I. Let’s put all of that behind us and move on.’
‘Then can I say that I’ve changed my mind about the idea you put to me. You are perfectly at liberty to join the family firm, Brenda, if you still wish to do so,’ he gently told her.
She stared at him in stunned disbelief. ‘Goodness, you made it very clear you’d no desire for me to become involved. What has changed your mind?’
‘Despite being unable to provide the necessary paperwork to prove your marriage, I understand from Fairhurst that Jack did leave you shares in the business. My brother would be furious with me if I stood by and did nothing while you took such risks. Besides which, I’ve been thinking about those suggestions you made for expanding our biscuit trade, and have decided they are quite sound. Adding small cakes and individual puddings to our list might well be a good idea. And Prue could be responsible for supplying all the necessary ingredients she can manage to produce. We would need to hire a new team of women to do the baking, and I am prepared to put you in charge.’
Having stopped walking to gaze at him now with joy in her heart, the longing to fling herself into his arms was almost overwhelming. It was only later that Brenda recalled that was exactly what she did. Or rather Hugh gathered her in his arms and kissed her, first upon each cheek to celebrate their decision and then as their gazes locked, full upon her mouth.
*
Melissa arrived a few days later with her children in tow. Her husband too was with her and Brenda made a point of keeping well out of his sight, determined never to find herself alone with that brute ever again. But it was lovely to see the children. She sat in the summer house working on her plans for the new business, watching with amusement as the girls played with their dolls, treating little Ross as if he was one too. They even put a bonnet on him and attempted to sit him in a
doll’s pram. He fiercely resisted, stomping off in a temper. Brenda put a hand to her mouth to silence her giggles, but he’d already heard her and came running over.
‘Hello, I didn’t know you were here, Bren,’ he said, beaming as he plonked himself down beside her on the bench.
It quite touched her heart how pleased he was to see her, and that he now called her by this pet name. ‘Are you a bit bored with all those girly games?’ she asked, and pulling a face, he briskly nodded. ‘There’s a bike in the shed. Do you know how to cycle?’
He shook his head, his eyes alight with interest. ‘Can you show me how?’
‘I can,’ Brenda said. ‘I’m keen on cycling myself. Shall we have a go?’
‘Yes please.’
She tidied away her notebook then paused, a thought crossing her mind. Hadn’t she promised herself not to become attached to this child? And even though she wasn’t asking him to do any jobs like seeing to the hens, Melissa might not approve. ‘Perhaps we should ask your mummy’s permission first?’
‘She’s out shopping,’ he said. ‘Again! And Nanny is taking her afternoon nap. Can we go now?’
Tucked into the back of the garden shed were several ancient bicycles, including one she tended to use herself whenever necessary. Several of the others must have belonged to the Stuart children at various stages in their lives. ‘I think there is one somewhere that might be the right size for you,’ Brenda said, rummaging through them, and moving piles of boxes to search further. ‘Ah, here it is. This might do the trick.’
Lifting it out, she checked it carefully to make sure the brake worked, the tyres were pumped up, and she gave it a good clean. Then taking it outside she helped Ross to sit upon it, and set his feet on the pedals. ‘I’ll push you along and you turn the pedals around with your feet, all right? I’ll keep hold of the saddle and I promise I won’t let you fall.’
She wheeled him to and fro up and down the farmyard, keeping a tight hold to keep him safe. It took no time at all for the little boy to get the right degree of balance, his face a picture of happiness. She was soon able to let go and stand back to watch him cycle round on his own.
Always In My Heart Page 18