Taking a deep breath, I hold it for a moment before slowly blowing it out. “What brings you here today?”
He wastes no time. “The colonel, for one.”
I sit back, Jace’s warnings to me clear in my mind. I’m certain he’s standing close by and listening to this entire conversation.
“Why do you want to talk about that?”
“I want to know we’re safe.”
I can’t imagine Carter ever turning on us and wearing a wire or recording us. He’s too damned careful, too thorough to obtain evidence that would indict him, too.
And he wouldn’t turn on us. I know he wouldn’t.
Sometimes, I recall the feel of him throwing himself over us that horrible afternoon, taking the brunt of the blast’s shockwave with his body.
This man also killed Elsa, but that bitch deserved to die. If I’d been braver I would have done it myself.
Probably not nearly as elegantly and discreetly, either.
“We’re safe. That’s all I can or will say.”
He slowly nods, his gaze now fixed on my wedding band. “Are you all right?”
There are multiple layers of subtext there.
I hold up my left hand. “I’m better than I’ve ever been in my life. No offense intended, either. Back then, I wasn’t ready. That was on me, not a statement about you.”
He slowly nods again. “Congratulations.”
“Thank you. I’m sorry I pushed you away but it looks like we all ended up where we needed to be.”
“I guess you’re right.” I sense there’s more, maybe even a lot more, so I wait him out.
It apparently takes him a moment to finally plan the line in his mind before quietly speaking it to me, his voice hoarse with emotion. “All I want—all I’ve ever wanted—is to know that you’re safe, that you’re happy, and that you’re being well cared for. That you’re loved. Because you deserve to have all of that, Eddie. I need to know that.”
“I am, and I do have it.”
He takes a deep breath and I don’t miss how he blinks a few times before wiping at his eyes. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you the truth about Owen and Susa before, when I saw you Berlin. I couldn’t tell you. I didn’t want to hurt you—I never wanted to hurt you.”
“I know. And you didn’t. Don’t feel guilty, Carter. I walked away from you. You didn’t leave me behind—I let you go. You in no way failed me. Ever. If anything, you were the only person I could count on back then, even if I wasn’t mature enough to process it at that time. So if that’s what you’re stressing about, it’s okay. We’re good. Honestly.”
He sits forward, elbows on his knees and his hands clasped together. “We’re going to be making a public announcement later today. Susa and I will, I mean. I wanted to talk to you first about it.”
“Why?”
“Because I want you to hear it from me, in person. I feel I owe it to you.”
He doesn’t owe me anything, but Carter is a man of honor with his own ironclad code of ethics. I nod but don’t interrupt him.
“Susa’s pregnant. A little girl. We found out right before Christmas, but we kept it quiet because there were some minor complications early on we weren’t sure how would impact the baby.”
I sit with that for a moment and try to stay in touch with my feelings without shutting down.
For the first time in my life…I’m okay.
Really okay.
“Congratulations, and I sincerely mean that. I’m happy for you. Is the baby okay?”
He nods. “They think the first test results were contaminated somehow. Everything looks great now, and she’s healthy and growing right on schedule.”
“And Susa’s all right?”
“Yeah.”
I opt to tackle the other elephant and give Carter an opening. “I bet Owen’s happy.”
Finally, the ghost of a smile. “He is. He’s over the moon. He’s retired and a full-time dad now. I don’t think I could make him any happier if I tried.”
“I appreciate the heads-up, but you always wanted kids. I never did, not really. Especially after her. I didn’t want to curse another child with my genes. I’m glad you’re happy, and I’m glad you have them. I’ve never wanted anything for you but happiness, Carter.”
I know that sad sigh of his. It’s haunted my dreams and memories for decades.
It was the same sigh Jace used on me that day he questioned me…and many times since.
“They can’t ever know about you and me. Beyond that we served together and were friends. I’m sorry. They can’t know about Elsa, either. Not the details, and not even her name. They know there was a woman in my past, and that I got a vasectomy because of her. They also know that I will not talk about her. They don’t know any of the dirty details, or anything about the colonel, or any of that. I’m really sorry. They know Eddie is one of the three from that day, and beyond that, now they know Eddie is dead.”
I nod. “No apologies necessary, Carter. I won’t reach out to them.”
“It’s not that simple.” He sits back. “Jace, you can come in now.”
I turn to look and in the living room doorway, there stands my guy, where he’d apparently been standing just around the corner. He’s fully dressed now and smirks where he leans against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest.
“You wouldn’t expect me to not listen in while you’re talking to my pet, would you, baby bro?” His territorial tone threatens to harden my cock.
Thank god I’m wearing PJ bottoms.
Carter smirks. “No, I wouldn’t expect any less from you, Jace.”
Jace pushes off from the doorway and saunters over. Automatically, I scoot to my right, to the next cushion, so he can take his usual spot.
“What’s not that simple, Carter?” he asks, taking over once he’s seated. His right hand captures my left and he laces fingers with me.
“Mom and Dad aren’t getting any younger. I want all of us to be able to have family dinners together during the holidays. I want my kids to know their uncles and family.”
Jace’s tone turns hard, cold. “What are you asking of me?”
“I want you to come out to everyone. We’ll plan it. I’ll stand there next to you and back you up. Both of you. We can tell everyone you met him through me. They never met him before. They won’t know he’s Eddie.”
Next to me, Jace tenses. That’s when I realize he’d expected Carter to say a lot of things, but not that. “I figured out who Eddie was,” Jace says. “I had copies of the pictures. What if one of the others does, too?”
“They won’t have a reason to look. You also had access to top secret intel to make comparisons with. Plus, you had all his personal data. And you were the only one anal enough to save everything from group chats like that.”
“Besides you,” Jace says.
He smirks again. “Yeah, well, I’m me. Anyway, we can still say he was in my unit and hurt that day. Stay as close to the truth as possible about…”
Jace answers. “Topper.”
Carter smiles. “Tell me his full name.”
“Thomas Peter Dorsey, now Wilson.”
Carter lets out a whistle. “So much for subtlety, bro.”
Jace shrugs. “If you can pick any name, pick one that means something.” Jace’s thumb strokes my hand, where he now has a death grip on me. “What about Park, Charlie, and Gene? You think they’ll accept this?”
“They don’t have a choice. They love you, and they love me. They’ll love Topper, here, too, if we present a united front.”
“Yeah, well you aren’t the one they’ll be wanting to run out of the family.”
“Yes, I will. Because I plan to tell them about Owen. Right after you tell them you’re gay and introduce them to your husband.”
Next to me, Jace goes still. “What?”
Carter grins. “Right? That’ll take the heat off of you, won’t it? I’ll swear them all to secrecy, of course. But I don’t want my kids gr
owing up having to worry about keeping secrets from our family. Owen’s family knows. They have known about us. For a while. Well, his father and step-mother know, as do Owen’s siblings. Owen’s biological mother isn’t part of his life any longer.”
“You aren’t worried about people talking?” Jace asks.
Carter lifts an eyebrow. “Do you really think they’ll want to brag about the poly and the gay sons? No. Accepting us in private and advertising our business to the world are two different things.” He smiles. “And, trust me, you being gay and married will quickly get forgotten as they try to wrap their heads around me being bi and poly. A one-two knockout.”
“What about Susa?”
“She’s all for it.” He crosses his right leg over he left as he stretches back, comfortable now that the news is out. “She hates having to keep this a secret as much as I do. I got her elected to her dream job. The deal was to get Owen elected as an Independent, then Susa. After she runs for and wins re-election, it doesn’t matter what happens or what people say. She hasn’t decided yet if she wants to run for the Senate, but I believe she’s starting to swing toward no on that one.”
“POTUS?”
Carter smiles. “No. We’ve discussed that already. Maybe before this baby that would’ve been an option, but she doesn’t want to run for POTUS. Once she’s done in Tallahassee, she can write her own checks as a political adviser. I don’t want our children raised in a fishbowl and always worried about who’s watching. Even if she does decide to run for the Senate, she already knows Owen and I will stay in Florida with the kids while she commutes. If we didn’t have children, it’d be different. Even she admits she’d hate to lose her freedom like that.”
Jace squeezes my hand again. “What do you think, pet?”
“It’s your call, Master.”
I don’t look at Carter because I don’t want to see if me calling Jace that hurts him.
I don’t want to know.
I want Carter to be happy, but I can’t hide who I am around him, either.
“I asked you, pet. I want your input.”
I slowly nod, not daring to hope. “It’d be nice to have a large family. I’ve never had a family before.” I meet Carter’s gaze. “Before now, Carter was the closest thing I ever had to a family.”
Carter’s wistful smile tugs at my heart but I hope he realizes I wasn’t saying that to hurt him, only to tell the truth.
I never give Jace anything less than the full truth.
“Then it’s settled.” Jace returns his focus to his little brother. “When are we doing this?”
Mentally, I check out from the conversation at that point. I need to process everything.
Not because it’s a bad thing, either. I think it would have terrified me had Carter coaxed me to come home with him back then. Probably to the point I would have balked because I knew how much he loved his family.
I would never want him to do anything to alienate them, even at my own expense.
Now?
I trust Jace, and I trust Carter. If they want to tell their family, then I know it’ll be okay.
Because they say it will be.
Chapter Twenty-One
Eddie
Three days later, a little after seven in the morning, our front gate chime signals through the intercom that an access code’s been punched in. By the time I can reach to the security panel to view the camera feed, our unexpected visitor is already on their way in.
“Master!” I call out, alarmed.
“It’s just Carter,” he calls back. “I gave him a code.”
When irritation hits me, I immediately tamp it back. Of all the people for me to get pissy with, these two men are not them. They’d double-Dom me, I bet. If there’s a reason Jace didn’t want me to know Carter was coming over so early today, then I have to accept that.
I take a deep breath, hold it, and let it out. Letting go to him is getting easier, but sometimes, I hit speedbumps like this and have to remind myself I handed everything over to Him.
I’ve already opened the front door when Carter climbs out of his SUV. He’s wearing jeans, a collared short-sleeved pullover, and mirrored sunglasses. Definitely not work attire.
He’s also wearing his handsome, bastard smile. “Good morning, Topper.”
“You sound chipper this morning.” It’s still difficult to remember not to call him sir, but that’s getting easier.
Plus, Jace said he’ll never punish me for slipping, as long as I don’t ever call Carter Master.
“Ready for a road trip?” Carter removes his glasses and, from the gleam in his eyes, that’s when I realize whatever this is, he and Jace planned it together.
“Road trip?” For a second, the haaawwwt fantasy of being sandwiched between the brothers flits through my mind but I shove that away. Jace isn’t into sharing.
At all.
Besides, Jace promised me it would only ever be the two of us, and he is a man of his word.
Plus, I wouldn’t want Carter to break an oath to his pets. Especially not over me.
Doesn’t mean I can’t fantasize about it, though.
“Jace, you didn’t tell him?” Carter calls out.
“Nope,” Jace calls back from our bedroom. “Wanted it to be a surprise.”
So far, he’s succeeded in that. “I’m surprised,” I say. “What’s going on?”
Jace emerges from the bedroom and I see he’s packed two small rolling suitcases while I was cleaning up the kitchen from our early breakfast. “We’re going on a road trip with Carter.”
Maybe I was wrong about fantasies not coming true.
“Um…Sir?”
I don’t miss how Carter looks my way, too. Jace arches an eyebrow at me. “Yes, pet?”
Yeah, I shouldn’t feel smug satisfaction over Carter’s reaction, either, because that’s dangerous for a whole lot of reasons. Existing on the periphery of Carter’s high-profile life is dangerous enough for me as it is if I want to stay concealed. Kind of like hiding in plain sight.
“Should I be worried, Master?”
“Road trip, pet,” Jace says. “I already packed for you.”
But now I understand why he ordered me to wear what I’m wearing after we took our morning shower this morning, instead of ordering me to stay naked. I take the bags from him. “How long, Sir?”
“Day or two.” He puts on his own sunglasses, Carter dons his, and now the brothers are practically twins. “Ready to roll out, Carter?” Jace asks.
“After you, big bro. Age before beauty.” He grins.
“You little shit,” Jace mutters even as he chuckles.
Before I can ask the question, Carter proves he’s still spooky-good at cluing in on my thoughts. “And no, we’re not sharing a bed, buddy,” he teases, then his smile fades. “But this is a present from me to you, and one Jace said I can take the lead on because of our shared history.”
“Only fair,” Jace says, “because it was his idea, he did the work, and he’s driving.”
I’m…really confused, and nervous, meaning I default to snark. “Should I just sit in the backseat, stay quiet, and look pretty, then?”
They both laugh. It’s like stereo that can harden my cock. “Yeah,” Jace says. “That’s an excellent idea, pet.”
* * * *
Jace confiscates my phone, meaning I can’t track our progress and play a what-if game.
At this point I’m literally along for the ride.
Carter must have planned the route in advance, because he doesn’t have his phone mounted in his dash holder for me to look at.
We head north to I-10, then west to Mobile. From there, we wind our way northwest. I think perhaps we’re heading to St. Louis, but then Carter jogs more west and takes a hard right turn at Shreveport, driving us north.
We stop for lunch somewhere in there, too, me mostly quiet as the brothers talk, laugh, relive their childhoods, and tell me stories about each other. I listen, because it’s obvious these t
wo men had healthy love in their lives from the start despite the secrets they hid about themselves.
After a nine-hour drive, we end up in Texarkana, pulling up in front of a cemetery a little before six that evening.
Honestly? I have no clue why we’re here, and we’re the only ones here.
But we get out and Carter goes to the back hatch while Jace and I stand there waiting, him holding my hand.
Carter rejoins us, carrying three shot glasses and a bottle of Johnnie Walker Ghost and Rare. Taking point, he heads off into the cemetery with us following and, once he gains his bearings, leads us diagonally through tall, elegant tombstones to a section where small, flat marker stones with plain metal plates fixed to them identify what look to be lesser-heeled residents.
When he stops at one, Jace pulls me up short, makes me turn to face him, and holds both of my hands.
“I love you, Eddie,” he says, and I know Carter can hear him. “But nothing matters in this world except where we are now in our lives, and where we’re going. We’re putting the last ghost to bed for good right now. Understand?”
I nod. “Yes, Master.” He hasn’t called me Eddie in weeks. I actually had to think for a moment who he was talking to, because I’ve accepted Topper completely as my new name. For legal purposes, he’s told me he’ll refer to me as Tom if we have to give someone a name, for example, at a doctor’s office. But just like he’s Jace, and their older brother is Park instead of Parker, Jr., my name is now Topper.
Still holding my left hand, he leads me over to the grave. Carter sets the bottle and shot glasses off to the side behind him and glances around before unfastening his fly. “Glad we got here when we did. I’m not sure how much longer I could’ve held it.
Jace releases my hand. “Me, too.” He starts to unfasten his fly, then looks at me. “Come on. You, too.”
Pet: A Governor Trilogy Novel Page 17