by April Zyon
“How could I not watch what he must endure for me?” Adira asked with a frown. “He’s the keeper of my soul. How could I not witness the trials that he suffers in my name?” She was crying, but she couldn’t help it. Her mind was going to horrible places at the thought of her husband and his likely to survive punishment that he was taking for her.
“As long as you’re sure,” he said. He didn’t look all that sure about her decision. “Maybe I should warn you of what this will entail. I would hate for you to go into this not knowing and get him some extra punishment. And yes, they are cruel enough to stack some extra onto him because you decided to try and save him.”
“Oh my.” She felt her knees go weak and her stomach churn even more. “Yes, please tell me. I need to know what he must go through, and I need to know how I am expected to behave. Please, Bracken, help me to make this as easy on Fin as possible?”
Bracken nodded slowly. Moving around her, he pulled a chair off the stack, set it down, and pointed to it. Only when she was sitting did he cross his arms over his chest and start to tell her. “He will be taken from you the moment we land. He’ll be taken to the citadel where he will be tied to the stakes there for all to see. For every month he was in Imarian hands he will receive twenty lashes. Then he will be put into one of the cells for two days for each of those same months. He will receive minimal food and water during that time. No medical care, no visitations, and no comfort. It’s a sensory deprivation of sorts on top of everything else. He’ll only be able to focus on the lashes received, and nothing else. When he is released he will be taken to medical for attention, shots, and released into your care. At this point you will be a full Craegin citizen, and no different from anyone else under the eyes of the law.”
“How could he possibly survive that?” She felt sick with what he was telling her. That meant Fintan was going to have to have sixty lashes and six days without medical treatment for the lashes. “My poor Fin. He will need serious medical care when he gets home. I’ll make a list of things that I will need to have procured so that we are able to take care of him in our home.” She wiped at her eyes and took a deep breath. “And what of me during this time? What happens to me? I don’t want him to worry about me while he’s trying to survive the hell that he has to go through. Fin will have to have every ounce of his mental acuity with him in order to survive the trials and tribulations of the lashes and deprivation.”
“You’ll stay with me, and my family. I’ll apologize now for my sisters and mother as they can be a little overwhelming all at once. I tend to cower with my father in a room far from the chaos when I’m on planet.” Bracken let his arms fall to his sides. Crouching before her, he looked up into her face. “He will survive because he has you to come home to. He knows you will be there, waiting for his return, and he will do whatever is necessary to come out of this whole.”
“That’s a very good thing because if he didn’t I would follow him into the next life if only to give him utter hell for leaving me.” She sniffled once again and took a deep breath. “Thank you for allowing me to stay with you. I’m sure that helps Fin to feel better as well. Knowing that I will be with you and taken care of.” She hurt; inside and out she ached because of what her husband had to survive for her.
“He was worried about you, Adira. Of course I said I’d take you in, as he knew I would. You’re like another sister to me. Less annoying, though. I’m hoping you’ll rub off on them a little, actually.” He pulled out a handkerchief that he handed to her. “Wipe your face, and let’s get you back to your husband before he comes looking for you. I doubt he’ll be very happy when he sees those tears on your face.”
“Thank you. You are a true and wonderful friend.” She wiped her eyes and passed him his handkerchief back. “As for your sisters, perhaps they will rub off on me and I will become more of a nuisance to you?” She was smiling now, forcing her way past the pain she was feeling so that she could get back to the person Fin needed her to be right then. Strong and ready for anything that came their way.
“Not what I want to hear from you, Adira. That only makes me want to reconsider letting you stay with us.” Shaking his head he stood, pocketed the handkerchief, and held out a hand to her. “Come along. Let’s return you to your man. We only have a few more hours before we will be planetside. I suggest you enjoy them any way you wish.”
“I know exactly what I want to do,” Adira said and allowed Bracken to pull her arm through his. Walking along at his side, she asked, “Is that why they have been contacting him daily, making him have private conversations for so long each day?” It was her last question for now, she hoped. Already her mind was starting to go through what sorts of damage that Fin’s body would be put through and what she would need in order to heal him. If only she had a handheld medical scanner she would be able to heal him much faster.
“Partially. Some of it was preparation for what was to come. Helping to get him into the right state of mind so he can withstand the solitude.” He squeezed her hand lightly as they got into one of the lifts. A little while later they were at the door to her quarters. “Fintan should be inside waiting for you. I’ll come get the two of you when it’s time to go down.”
When the doors slid open, Adira didn’t say anything else to Bracken. Instead she walked into her quarters that she shared with Fintan. Seeing him there and waiting for her, she could only smile. When he opened his arms to her she went quickly into them and hugged him tightly. Outside of their bedroom, around some of the older crew, he was very aloof with her. However, when they were alone or with Bracken, Fin was loving and gave her all that she could ever need or want. He was quite simply her everything.
“Do I need to take Bracken into the training rooms again?” he asked quietly after a moment. When she remained silent, Fin leaned back, his hands moving to cup her face. “Adira, did Bracken say anything to upset you? I need you to tell me, little one.”
“What? No, you don’t need to take him to the mats again. He simply answered the question that I had. He made me realize that you love me. You haven’t said the words, but I know that you do.” She leaned up on her toes and smiled. “And I love you as well, husband.”
“You are my wife, of course I love you, Adira. Had I known you’d needed the words I’d have given them to you sooner. You are everything to me, little one.” He leaned in to brush a kiss to her lips. He stroked his thumbs lightly to her cheeks as he drew away. “What did you ask him?”
“I needed to know what the Shrev-Traka was and he told me.” She leaned into his touch and sighed. “I wish you had told me. I understand why you didn’t, but I wish that you had been the one to tell me. After this, no more secrets between us, right?” That was what stung the most. He had kept that from her. She understood why he had, but it still hurt.
“I didn’t want you to worry about something you couldn’t change. It is part of the law of our world, and nothing could be done to alter it.” Fintan let out a sigh. “After this, no more secrets, Adira.”
“Good. Now, I understand that we have a few hours left until we make it to your home world and at that time you will be taken directly from me. What should we do for those few hours? Do you need to rest or meditate to get into the frame of mind that you need to be in so that you can survive the trials? And you will. Survive them. You will ensure that I am Craegin and we will have our life together for the rest of time. Right?”
“I will survive the trials, and yes we will have the rest of our lives together. No one will pull us apart,” he said softly. “I’d like to lay down with you, hold you close, and just be with you. Nothing else, if you are willing to go along with the idea of course.”
“I would love nothing more.” To be held by him, to be able to imprint that memory for the coming days that lay ahead of them. “And you can tell me what I need to do in order to ensure that I have everything readied in your apartment in the city for the after. I think maybe I’ll ask Bracken if we can remain at our apartment
instead of with his family. Do you think he would be willing?”
“To avoid his sisters, likely. They’re always attempting to get him to marry someone or other. They are very persistent females that make his life more than a little difficult. He usually stays at the apartment so he can avoid them whenever he needs to be planetside. I keep telling him he should get his own place, but he thinks it will hurt their feelings if he does.” Shaking his head, Fintan took her hand and moved to the bed. Climbing onto it he settled down to wait for her to join him. “He’ll ensure everything is gathered and readied for when I’m released.”
“Good. I will ask him. We can still go to see his family for at least a day so that they will be able to get love from him but then we will stay at our apartment. I want to be close to where you are. I need to be close to you,” she said once she had settled onto the bed at his side. Adira wrapped her arms around him and closed her eyes.
He started to stroke her hair gently, running his fingers through it with care. “I’ll be at ease knowing you are safe with him. I think you’ll find his family to be interesting. They can be a little overwhelming at times, but you’ll like his mother, for sure. She’s definitely the one who runs that family.”
“I look forward to meeting them all.” Adira rubbed her cheek to his chest and sighed. His touch was so soothing. She didn’t know how she was going to sleep without him doing this, but she had a feeling she wouldn’t sleep without him there with her anyway. “I will be there for all of it, Fin. Your beating and when they take you. I will stand witness to the blood you lose in my name. Please don’t ask me not to.”
“I wouldn’t ask you to not be there since I know it would do no good,” he said. “Promise me not to do anything, though, no matter what is said, or done. Remember to act like this is an everyday occurrence. Chin held high, and lips sealed. You can rage about it all you want behind the closed doors of our home, but nothing can be said out in public.”
“I understand. I will be the wife that you deserve in life, Fin. I will make you proud,” she assured him and prayed to all of the ancestors and universe that she would be able to keep her word to her husband.
“You already do, Adira. Don’t think that you do not. You are everything I could ever want for the woman who is my other half. I know this will be hard for you, and I am sorry. This is not the welcome to Craegin that I would have chosen for you.” She felt him press a kiss to her forehead as he hugged her close to his side.
“It is, however, the one that the universe dealt us. I will survive. Once you have healed after what you have to endure, what you must, then you can give me the welcome to Craegin that I do deserve. You can show me your home world. I look forward to seeing it at your side.”
“I look forward to showing it all to you.” Shifting around, Fintan moved so they were face to face. After pulling up the blankets around them, he wrapped her in his arms once more. “There is a spot about three days journey from the capital that we will go to see. It’s one of my favorites. We’ll spend the day there, and there won’t be another soul around. It’s very private, and very peaceful. I think you will enjoy it greatly.”
“Having you all to myself without another being for miles around? I look forward to it.” She touched her fingers to his lips, stroking them lightly as she did so. “I’ve even been learning much of your languages as well. I’m trying to do all that I can in order to fit in as a new member of the Craegin people.”
“You fit in well already, Adira. Don’t let anyone say otherwise. Not that they could anyway, but don’t you let them get away with it. I should also mention that while I’m not around, Bracken is acting in my place. Only in regards to when you wish to go out into public, nothing else, so no going and getting ideas. Listen to him for me, please. He won’t guide you wrong, Adira. Can you do that for me?”
She laughed and nodded. “I can do that. I can also assure you that while I adore Bracken and think of him as a brother, I do not see him in any way that closely resembles what we share in our bedroom. He’s a handsome man, but he’s not you.”
“You needn’t even notice if he is handsome or not, Adira.” He frowned at her and tapped the end of her nose. “You are messing with me again, aren’t you? For shame on you, little wife. That is all right, I’ll remember this for later.” Sliding his arm around her waist, he drew her in closer to rest his cheek against hers.
“I certainly hope that you will remember this later,” she said with a smile. “You can think about that while you are in isolation. During that time think of me and what we will be together. Ensure that you never feel down, please?”
“If ever I feel down I’ll think of you, and only you. I’ll think of everything that we’ve done together, and of everything we’ll do together. I have quite a list to contemplate while I’m waiting to get back to you. Make sure you are taking your vitamins, eating right, and getting as much rest as you can. I won’t be up to it right away obviously, but you’d better be ready for when I’m healed.”
“I will be,” she promised. “I will even tell Bracken that he needs to ensure that I eat well otherwise I will forget.” She would be too worried about Fintan. “We will get through this and then we will have our life together. You will have your ship back, we will travel the stars together, and come home when we need a break. We will have our happiness. I demand it.”
She was pretty sure she felt him laugh at her words. “Yes, little wife,” he agreed. “I think we can manage that, since you demand it. That reminds me, Bracken never did tell me who had my destroyer. I think he’s been avoiding telling me.”
“I thought you knew?” She pulled back and looked up at him with a frown. “Your first-in-command refused the position, saying you would be back. The ship is still yours. At least that’s what I heard in the dining hall when I was there with Bracken a few days earlier.”
“No, I didn’t know. That bugger Bracken has refused to tell me anything. I should have known. He couldn’t meet my eyes any time I asked about it. Remind me to deal with him later when I have the time and inclination to do so, would you please.”
“Oh, that’s priceless,” she said with a grin. “Well, at least you know now. You also know that your ship has been in very good hands. At least I’m assuming so, right?” She wasn’t certain how it worked with the Craegin, but to be a first officer you had to have the respect of the captain and the training to back it up.
“You would be correct. He’s a good man, well trained, and I’m actually shocked he didn’t accept the position. He should have. I’d have wanted him to take it had I known about it. He’s more than earned it over the years. While I’m deeply grateful he didn’t, since I really wouldn’t have appreciated breaking in a new crew, I am a little surprised. I may need to give him some additional time off to spend with his family, I think.”
“Perhaps you can have him come to the home world, send a message to him now so that when he arrives he will be in orbit and able to see his family while you go through what you must and then heal after. This will give your entire crew a chance for a time home, and your orbiting stations a chance to ensure that your ship is fully outfitted with everything that it might need. Take care of any faults, damage, or missing supplies and so on?”
Fintan drew back to look at her. He cocked a brow, and a small smile curled his lips up. “You are quite the smart one, aren’t you? I do like how you think. I’ll have Bracken relay a message I’ll prepare when we are going down to the planet. It’s a twenty-minute ride down. Plenty of time to prepare a message for him to send off.”
“I need to tell you something.” She pulled back so that she could look at him, watching him. “On why I thought of this. Please understand that I didn’t think about this until this moment.” She hoped that he didn’t pull back from her, prayed that he would understand.
“My brother, I don’t think about this because to be honest he’s my brother and I don’t think about titles.” She gulped a huge breath of air and confessed h
er darkest secret to him. “He’s a Fleet admiral for the Imarian people. Petr van Jahnsen. I used our mother’s maiden name, Lora, in order to keep me safe from those that would look to exploit him.” Her confession weighed heavily on her and she literally shook with worry that he would turn from her. But he had to know who her brother was. He needed the full truth of herself before they landed on his world so that he wasn’t held accountable for her brother’s actions as well. That’s why she brought up her older brother, the only other man she cared about in her life. She knew that Fin was already going to have to go through a great deal of trouble and grief from his superiors because she was Imarian.
“I know,” he said softly. She could only stare at him. “Adira, you have a number of the same mannerisms as he does and your resemblance to him is strong. He and I have crossed paths on more than one occasion. I’ve studied him and his life rather extensively. Mainly to figure out a way to best him during our confrontations. He’s the one and only Imarian I’ve ever pulled back from during a battle. He thinks a little too much as I do, so it’s very counterproductive in battle. I noticed a few things early on in the crawler during our travels. Once we got onto Bracken’s destroyer I went digging back through the archives of battle footage for the communication logs and found a number of discussions I’ve held with him. None of which you will ever see, mainly because they are not a very good reflection of who I am. I’ve only been waiting for you to share with me. Thank you for sharing, by the way.”
“You knew?” She let out the breath she was holding and moved back into his arms. Sighing, she shook her head. “I was worried about telling you,” she admitted and hugged him all the tighter. “I hope that you are the only one who makes the connection. I love my brother, but I love you more and I don’t want to make this a war for you to keep me safe.” Because no matter what he went through she had a feeling that his people, much like hers, would do whatever they could to gain such a valuable pawn in this war.