“Honestly, I was thinking of doing Broadway.” He let out a stale laugh and stared at me intensely as if waiting for a smart comeback.
“Broadway?” I gaped, unable to fight the amused smirk on my lips.
“What? You don’t think I can do it?” he snapped, eyes blaring.
Having never seen Jacob lose his temper before, I gulped anxiously. “It’s not that…”
“Then what is it?”
“I…I uncovered a scandal with one of the playhouses last year. Needless to say, I’m not the most liked person in theater. I guess it’s a good thing that you’re not a Broadway dancer interviewing with the Estelle Donovan. They’d probably kick you out the moment they find out.”
“And you don't care?”
“That you’re not on Broadway?” I frowned in confusion. Why would I? I didn’t even know he wanted to be.
He shook his head and turned the corners of his mouth downward. “That a huge chunk of New York hates you. What happened to you, E? You used to be so shy and so sweet and now…”
“Now what?” I snapped.
“To be honest, now you seem like a bit of a bitch.”
My eyes slowly widened and my nostrils flared. “What did you say to me?”
Jacob was as smug as ever. He crossed his arms and straightened his back. “You heard me.”
I was not a bitch. Sure, I had to portray myself in a certain sense to get anywhere in my career, but I was far from a bad person!
I clenched and unclenched my fists, making sure to take deep breaths to calm myself down. After a few moments, I finally steadied my breathing enough to speak again. “So Jacob, how does it feel to sign with Xtension Management?”
He stared at me blankly before replying. “It feels great.”
Chapter 37
Ring.
Ring.
Ring.
“Oh my gosh, Natalie, can you please get that?” I yelled out the door of my office. My twenty-year-old assistant yelped and immediately jumped up from whatever the hell she was stacking and grabbed the nearby phone.
“Estelle Donovan’s office, can I help you?” Her voice wavered just a bit, enough for me to feel sorry for her, but not enough to forget that she was supposed to say NYC Journal instead of my name.
Feeling frustrated, I slammed the door loudly before yelling, “Hold all my calls! I have an article I’m struggling with.”
I groaned and plopped down into my desk chair just as my personal cell phone buzzed. Kurt’s name jumped out at me, but unlike usual, my heart didn’t skip a bit. In fact, I even loathed seeing the notification knowing he was going to try to pull my arm to do him another favor.
“Let’s see what he wants,” I muttered as I swiped my phone.
Kurt: Hey, babe. I know Reggie’s still sick, but is there a chance you can come & photograph the event at the Hall tomorrow night? It’d really help me out.
“Are you flipping serious?” I muttered, nearly chucking my phone across the room. I’d finally gotten away from Jacob’s crew and now he wanted to thrust me in the middle of all of it again?
Feeling exasperated, I typed only two words as a response.
Estelle: I’m busy.
But as usual, Kurt was used to hard balling, if not whining to get his way.
Kurt: Doing what? C’mon babe, just do this for me. PUH-LEASE!!!
I growled and typed back quickly.
Estelle: I take it you’re not going to drop this until I say yes.
The fool had the audacity to answer with a simple emoticon.
Kurt: ;)
“Ugh, fine, fine, fine. Why not prolong my suffering? Maybe it’ll help me write this stupid article.”
Estelle: Fine. I’ll be there at nine.
***
I gripped the seatbelt buckle of the Uber as if my life depended on it. Outside, the flashing lights of New York City passed me by as we trekked slowly to the Meat Packing District. It was definitely a far cry from the palm trees of southern California and didn’t give me the same sense of calm.
The driver, who I’d actually had the pleasure of riding with a few times before, knew our routine well and kept to himself quietly in the front, leaving me fidgeting uncomfortably in the back.
“Why did I agree to this?” I murmured.
“What was that, Miss Donovan?”
“Nothing. Forget it.” I rubbed my forehead with the bottom of my hand and glanced at my new camera, which was placed neatly beside me on the SUV’s leather seat. It was a gift from Kurt that he made sure to have delivered just mere hours ago. Though his card made it seem as if it were a token of his love for me, I knew it for what it truly was—blood money and a bribe for what I was about to do.
Writing the article was bad enough. For obvious reasons I couldn’t separate my personal feelings enough to write an objective article that was something more than “What’s your favorite color?”
There was no way I could write a tell-all about the humble group from California who had finally made it to the big league in New York without laying my heart into it.
I saw them when they were basically nothing. I watched them practice and work their hardest while maintaining their friendships.
I fell in love with one of them.
The article needed to be drafted by the beginning of the next week and so far I had only written the word “The.”
The Uber pulled up to the Hall, which still had a line wrapped clear across the building. Considering the venue opened two hours ago, I was amazed there was still a crowd attempting to get in.
I took a breath before grabbing the strap of my camera and placing it around my neck. Without a second thought I jumped out of the Uber, careful to keep my micro mini from showing any of my bits and walked straight to the bouncer.
“Hey, Lou,” I greeted.
The huge man peered down at me and shot me a wink. “Here on business or pleasure, E?”
“Since when do you call me ‘E’?” I shot back in surprise. I’d known Lou for years, having always frequented The Hall with my girlfriends and not once had he called me E.
“Someone named Jacob put you on the list as such. I guess he didn’t realize that you practically have a lifetime VIP membership here.”
I pressed my lips together and patted Lou’s broad shoulders as I stepped past the velvet rope. All around me I heard shouts of disdain from a crowd that obviously had enough of waiting in line. Usually I’d laugh silently to myself and soak in the fact that I had special status. That night, I couldn’t help but feel guilty. I’d trade places with any of the patrons in a heartbeat if it meant I could stay at home hiding.
BOOM.
BOOM.
BOOM.
The pounding of the bass felt like I was being stabbed in the chest by a blunt knife. I wove my way through the mass of people, walking toward the VIP area, which was located up a set of stairs toward the back of the huge auditorium. Before I could even reach it, I felt someone tug at my arm.
“Hey, E.” Jacob’s voice wasn’t as hateful as it had been, but that wasn’t what threw me for a loop. With his plain black tee and soccer pants, I felt extremely overdressed.
“They let you in like that?” I didn’t mean for the question to sound so judgmental, but the look on Jacob’s face told me that was exactly how he had interpreted it. I quickly added, “I mean, last time I tried to walk in here wearing a pair of dark jeans and a blouse they practically threw me out.”
His face instantly relaxed. “I see you took that lesson to heart. You certainly dressed for the night, but like I always said, you clean up very well.”
My face immediately warmed. If I were being honest, then I’d have to admit that I did take an extra long time getting ready that night, knowing full well that I’d be seeing Jacob. I painstakingly picked out my sexiest sweetheart cut, strapless dress, which barely reached the middle of my thigh, and paired it with the highest stilettos I owned. Though it did hit me that I wouldn’t be able to take a few
angled shots unless I wanted to flash the audience my bright red thong, I figured some sacrifices needed to be made to feel confident about myself.
I pushed back a stray strand of hair that had fallen from my messy top knot. It was another detail that I planned out that night. Since I still hadn’t had time to get a haircut, I wanted to look completely different from ‘College Estelle’ and decided that wearing my hair up would do the trick. Of course I didn’t anticipate the cold draft from the AC unit hitting my neck and bare back all night.
I shrugged my shoulders and smiled. “Um, thanks, I guess.”
An awkward lull fell between us and I found myself glancing around desperately for the other guys. “Where are Rodriguez and all of them?”
My eyes scanned the crowd and I frowned when I spotted each of the guys dry humping a different girl in the middle of the floor. Jacob followed my gaze and snorted. “Guess you found them.”
His breath hit the top of my shoulders and I was instantly brought back to that night in the dorms. The familiar warmth began to travel up my thighs and I knew I had to focus on something else before I did something I regretted. I gulped and quickly asked, “Have you seen Kurt?”
Yes, Estelle. Look for your boyfriend.
Jacob frowned. “Actually, no. I was thinking he’d show up with you.” His dark eyes clouded. “Why didn’t he show up with you?”
It was my turn to frown. “What do you mean?”
He shook his head as if I had just asked the dumbest question. “I’d never let my girlfriend turn up to these things alone. Especially someone who looked like you. I’d never let you walk in here by yourself.”
“Huh?” I murmured dumbfounded.
“Even David knew how to treat you better.”
All at once all the rainbows and glittered feelings that had bubbled within me disappeared. Through gritted teeth I spat out, “Please never mention that name to me again.”
“Why?” Jacob chuckled. “Because you realized how messed up that whole situation was?”
“Yes,” I admitted freely, earning another surprised look on his face. “It was dumb to sleep with him thinking it’d get to you.”
Shit. Word vomit again. Really?
Jacob’s eyes widened. “What did you say?”
“I…uh…”
“Babe, there you are !” I turned and spotted Kurt elbowing a drunk looking individual to get to me. He immediately grabbed my hand and spun me around, whistling in appreciation. “Damn, did I ever hit the jackpot.”
Jacob cleared his throat uncomfortably and attempted to look away. I, for one, couldn’t tear my eyes away from Kurt’s bloodshot eyes and snot filled nostrils.
“Kurt, where were you?” I demanded, noting the way he sniffled and wiped at his nose with the back of his hand.
He narrowed his eyes slightly before breaking into a huge grin. “I was taking care of business, baby. You know, earning that money to continue buying you those red soled shoes you like.”
I smacked his hand away. “You know perfectly well I make my own money. Now cut with the crap. Where were you?”
Kurt ignored me and basically pushed me aside to wriggle next to Jacob. He smacked a heavy hand down on the b-boy’s shoulder. “Hey, man. How’s it going?”
“It’s going.” Jacob eyed Kurt’s nose and threw me a questioning look.
I’d heard rumors of Kurt’s drug use before, but he always assured me that it was in the past. Given that he never really gave me a reason to doubt him, I never paid attention. Now, seeing him all amped up like this made me question a lot of things.
Kurt’s voice seemed shriller than usual when he nudged Jacob toward me. “You look nervous. Are you nervous?”
Jacob scratched his head. “Not really. I’ve done this about a million times before.”
“Well, you should still loosen up.” Kurt shot me a sideways stare. “You should too. I can tell you’re nervous about taking the photos tonight.”
I pressed my lips together and scowled. “Do you want us to take drugs too? Is that how you loosen up?”
Jacob and Kurt shared identical masks of horror. Trying to play it off, Kurt walked over and planted a kiss on my cheek. “Always the jokester, but seriously, you two should dance. I have some business to attend to. Have some fun before the show, eh?” Before I could respond, he leaned toward Jacob and whispered loud enough for me to hear, “Remember what we talked about earlier.”
Jacob nodded uncomfortably and watched Kurt walk away. Once he was out of earshot, I hissed, “What’s he talking about?”
“Why do you care?” Jacob shot back, still frowning uncomfortably.
“Because I know Kurt and he’s acting really strange. This isn’t like him.”
“You mean him being high?”
I couldn’t do anything but blink. This was definitely not a situation I’d ever been in before and I had no idea what the proper protocol was. Luckily, Jacob must have took pity on me because he visibly relaxed and grabbed my hand. I immediately snatched it back.
“What are you doing?” I demanded.
“Kurt said we should loosen up, and judging by the way I’m guessing we both feel right now, I’m saying it’s a good idea.”
Guilt once again showed her ugly face. “I…I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“And why not?”
“Because…” Before I could react, Jacob had whisked me toward the dance floor. As usual, I followed like a blubbering idiot. “Jacob…”
He pulled me in to him and replied, “Because is not an answer.”
Chapter 38
“You have really great taste in men.” Jacob rolled his eyes and looked back at me. “Is this what New York has turned you into? Someone who is in deep denial?”
I scowled. “No, it turned me into someone who is strong enough to stand on her two feet and isn’t some blubbering, anxious idiot anymore.”
Jacob’s face softened. “You were never that.”
“Please.”
He threw his head back and took a deep breath before grabbing one of my hands.
I stared up at him blankly. “What are you doing?”
“Let’s dance.”
“Excuse me?” I pulled my hand away. “I have a boyfriend.”
“Who’s also my boss. He told me to take you dancing, and you know what? I’m not about to make him mad again.”
I refrained from reminding him that as Kurt’s client, he was technically the boss and asked, “What do you mean by ‘again’?”
“Never mind.” He grabbed my hand once again, this time entwining his fingers with mine. “Let’s go.”
I was so captivated by the familiar feeling of his skin against mine that I followed him aimlessly to the floor.
Like watching a replay of a bad movie, the strobe lights above us and the beat of the music reminded me of that one time at Club Mal where Jacob and I were in this exact position, only this time we kept a good three inches in between us. We looked like an awkward middle school dance at summer camp.
After two stepping quietly for a bit, Jacob peered down at me with furrowed eyebrows.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” I demanded.
“What happened to you?” he asked simply.
I blinked in surprise. “Huh? What do you mean?”
“You’ve changed a lot. You’re…not the ‘E’ I used to know.”
I shrugged. “People grow up, Jacob.”
“Are you sure about that?” he mused.
Now that comment got me irritated. I stopped dancing and glared at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re totally not the same person I knew. You’re mean…a definite bitch.”
My mouth dropped open in shock. “Well, you’re still an asshole.”
Ignoring me, he remarked, “Am I going too far to assume this change of attitude stemmed from a certain fucked up night during freshman year in college?”
“Ye
s, it would!” I snapped angrily.
“Yes, it came from that night? Or yes, it’s wrong to assume?” Somehow I didn’t think he’d change his mind even if I denied it, so I didn’t bother to answer him. Jacob stopped in his two steps as well and looked down at me sadly. “What happened to you, E? This isn’t you.”
“Maybe it is,” I shot back, crossing my arms tightly across my chest.
“No, it’s not.” He took a deep breath and stared at me in pity. “The E I used to know had a certain kindness in her eyes. It’s what attracted me to you in the first place.”
I swallowed. “What?”
He ignored me and continued rambling. “You had a spark of innocence about you—a genuineness that was hard to find in the crowd I rolled around with. Now look at you, you’re acting even worse than some of them.”
I hated feeling as if I were being reprimanded, especially for learning how to stick up for myself. It was a hard lesson, but a necessary one. “Maybe I realized that the longer I stood on the sidelines nothing was going to happen for me. I spent most of adolescence thinking, second guessing, and then watching other people get what I wanted. Once I moved here I realized that there were about fifty other people exactly like me who were gunning for the same apartment, same job, and same—”
“Kurt?” he interrupted with a grunt.
I pressed my lips together and frowned. “I needed to stop putting my fears and insecurities first and stand up for everything I wanted. You know what? I got everything I wanted.”
Well, maybe not everything.
As if reading my mind, Jacob smirked. “Are you sure about that?”
“I…shit!” My eyes wandered around him and caught sight of Devon Lucia, one of the Broadway board members that I had outed for screwing his dancers. The last time we met face to face wasn’t particularly a fond memory of mine and one that I’d rather not relive.
Breaking Hearts (B-Boy #2) Page 18