by Neal, Xavier
Another day, another job well done. The only thing that could have made this night better is if I was crawling into bed with Jovi at the end of it instead of the cold pillow waiting for me. I know some day it's gonna come down to choosing her or this. Sad thing is, I already know where my choice lies and I know it's not gonna be an easy one to stick with.
Jovi
Scrolling down the screen past the different shots I've taken over the last couple weeks, I try to explain to Merrick, why I think some will be better for my final project, but it's clearly going in one ear and out the other from the way his lips can't stop tasting my neck.
“Can you pay attention?” I giggle leaning into him, giving him better access.
Okay so sue me. It feels fucking fantastic.
“This is why I didn't take college classes,” he argues. “I can't pay attention to these kinds of things.”
“You painted these!” my playful shriek gets a nibble out of my neck.
“Can't wait to paint you,” his hot breath declares on my ear lobe.
When my eyes close I let out a soft moan trying to remember we're in public.
“Dinner and a show,” a voice startles me, shooting my eyes back up to a face I don't recognize. The unknown male grabs one of the nachos left on the plate. “That's always fun.”
“Vinnie,” Merrick says to him, leaning the hand that was just running up my thigh across the table for a fist bump. “What are you doing out of your cave so close to...” his voice drops for a second like he's decided to change the phrasing. “Go time.”
“Guy's gotta eat,” he answers with a shrug as the waitress stroll over to take his order. “You know how much I like The Box.”
So looks like he's staying...
After he let's her know he's just here to pick up a to-go order, he leans back clearly going to pass the time with us. “Since my friend here seems to of lost his fucking manners, I'll introduce myself. I'm Vinnie.”
With a firm shake I say, “Jovi.”
“What a beautiful name,” he compliments. “And unique.”
“Thanks.”
“So Jovi, you're Merrick's girl huh?”
Before I have a chance to answer the question, he does for me, “She is. You know that.”
Vinnie smirks crooked and adds, “So that means you're coming to see Merrick race tomorrow night, right?”
Suddenly he shifts his body, removes his arm from around me, and opens his mouth to reply.
Instead I answer for him, “Of course I am. Wouldn't miss it.”
“Good.” Vinnie lightly chuckles. “You're gonna wanna see what the infamous Merrick McCoy does up close and personal.”
Didn't know he was a street racer, but can't say it's that shocking. Between the car, which I think is a new Chevy Camaro, his car knowledge, and his lead foot, I probably could've concluded it had I tried. Before you bring it up, I don't have the same hate or revenge for cars or racing that my dad has and has tried to drill into me.
“Outside of the bedroom,” the addition makes Merrick clamp his fists together and look down at the table. “You bringing anyone else?”
“Just my best friend Hayli.” The waitress delivers his food and takes the cash being informed to keep the tip. When he's done I inquire, “That's okay right?”
“Definitely.” Vinnie turns to Merrick. “Ben coming?”
Merrick nods. “I'll keep an eye on him.”
“And what are you bringing to race?”
A wide grin crawls on his face. “A flower.”
Vinnie's big brown eyes pop out of his head. “No fucking way...”
“Gonna watch her bloom.”
“Gonna watch my pockets do the same.” Quickly he stands up and extends his fist. “Alright. I have to get back to work. Streets don't run themselves.” With one more look he smiles at me. “See you tomorrow night, Jovi.”
After he's out the door, I snap my head at Merrick. “Why didn't you invite me?”
“Seriously?”
“Seriously.”
“You wanna know why I didn't invite the commissioner's daughter to a highly illegal activity?”
“Yeah.”
With sarcasm dripping from his voice he tosses a hand in the air, “I don't know. Maybe because going to jail and never seeing you again wasn't something I had marked on my calendar just yet.”
Don't chuckle. It wasn't funny.
“So you didn't invite me because you think I'm going to turn you in?”
“I didn't say that.”
“You didn't not say that either.”
“Jovi―”
“No. You're taking me.”
“I am not taking you,” Merrick declares trying to grab a nacho from the plate, keeping his eye contact from me. “No fucking way.”
Moving the plate over to make the task not possible, I argue, “Yes fucking way.”
The words out of my mouth cause him to bite his bottom lip.
Him being turned on in the middle of a fight just turns me on too and we can't really do the things I wanna do in this booth or with my curfew creeping quickly. I don't typically have a time I have to be home by but my father is coming home tonight and I promised Nadie I would call it an early night to spend a few moments with him.
“Why do you wanna go?”
“Why do you not want me to go?”
“I don't think you're gonna like it.” There's a kindness in his voice that has my shoulders slumping in the process of defeat.
“Why?”
Merrick uses his hand to wipe his mouth as if wiping away his immediate response. “I just, I just don't know if it's for you.”
“Are you gonna be there?”
“You know I'm gonna be there.”
“Then I wanna be there.” I use my finger to turn his face back to mine. “I wanna spend as much time with you as I can. And you know, you're always coming into my world. Finding a place to fit. Ice cream between classes. Lingering in the library until I get a minute. You're constantly dropping into my lifestyle and I wanna be a part of yours. So if that means putting on my tightest jeans and walking around a bunch of gear heads, then I wanna do it. It's probably a lot of fun...”
Merrick offers a gentle smile.
“And as your girlfriend I think it's the code I should be by your side.”
The playful line makes him drape his arm back around my shoulder. “Fine. I'll bring you and Hayli to the races on one condition.”
“What?”
“You spend the night with me.”
My lips press together and I bashfully look down at the table.
Virgin here. Not trying to stay a virgin, but am I ready to sleep with him? Er― never mind. It's a miracle I've waited this long. But still. I don't think sex should be used as a bargaining tool. Or a weapon....ooooo a sex weapon. His fingers are like sex weapons. Can you imagine the danger of his dick inside me?
“Baby,” he drags me out of my own thoughts. “I'm not saying you have to sleep with me to go. I'm saying, I wanna wake up with you. I wanna see the sun rise with you wrapped in my arms in my bed.”
A skeptical look comes on my face. “You're really telling me you don't wanna have sex with me?”
“I'm not saying that shit at all,” he quickly corrects. “Hell, if you told me you wanted me to take you right here in this booth you better believe my dick would be in you before you could second guess it.” When I giggle he sighs, “I'm just saying I'll never push you to do anything like that.”
Curious, I question, “How come?”
“What's the point?” Merrick counters. “If I was looking to get laid I could find it anywhere, but I'm not. And if you're this incredible outside of the bedroom, I might die from a round in it with you....” His fingers stroke my arm. “Whenever you're ready baby I'm ready too. Until then...as long as that tongue of yours keeps these constant meetings with mine I'm satisfied.”
“You mean like this?” I lean over and let the tip of my tongue touch his.
/>
He groans in frustration.
With his eyes closed, he leans his forehead against mine. “Tease.”
“You love it.”
“You're fucking right.”
My giggle is cut short by his lips pressed on mine again, giving into the temptation I wanted as much as he did.
So kill me. I'm horny too.
**
With my English book opened in my lap, I try to keep my focus on it instead of Merrick who is blowing up my cell so much I had to silence it in an attempt to dull Nadie's suspicions.
“You're really not gonna tell me anything about him?” Nadie prods from the love seat, her tablet open to Pinterest.
Finding new and easy ways to stay organized is one of her favorite things to do, which would be cool except the house is constantly being reorganized and I find it hard to find stuff. Pisses my dad off, but he never says anything. I think it's his balance to Nadie dealing with his own bizarre ways.
Innocently, I look up.
“I'm not gonna help your dad investigate him.”
Good because he's a street racing outlaw and I'd like to go off to college before I'm 40. Wait. When did I turn into some sort of stereotypical cop’s daughter? Ugh.
“Can I get a name?”
I shake my head.
“An occupation?”
I shake my head again.
“A picture?”
Even faster than before I shake my head.
“Fine.” She seems to surrender and I look back down at my homework. “Is he a gentleman?”
With a soft voice I reply, “Always opens doors and pays for everything.”
“At least there's that...How does he feel about you leaving for college?”
“Supportive.” I look back up. “Says he'll come visit me anytime and all the time.”
“Sounds like a keeper.”
“What's a keeper?” My dad's voice invades the room, a glass of bourbon in his grips informing us the day wasn't an easy one.
Domestic beer means typical. Import indicates hard. Bourbon means career changing.
“Just a line in Jovi's English paper.” Nadie covers for me. Fiddling with her curly hair she cautiously ponders, “What happened to make today a glass drink kind of day?”
“There's a new drug being distributed now by The Devil. Apparently running EA around the fucking state is not enough. Now he's running Cissalc or better known as CL.”
Quickly I question, “What's that?”
“Never heard of it?” The relief in his voice makes me offer him a sweet smile as I shake my head. “It's like Ecstasy but with longer effects and less of the aftermath of possible brain damage and addiction. It's a clear liquid. Couple of drops in a drink and you're high and horny for hours. The other problem aside from it's potency, is the fact it can't be traced in your system.”
“How is that possible?” Nadie drops her tablet in her lap.
“The things they're doin' nowadays is just making it easier for kids to die young,” he gripes. After a long sip his eyes land on me. “See why I don't want you to go off to college? See what sort of things are crawling on them?”
“That's everywhere,” Nadie argues for me. “Don't try to limit that to college students. And she's going away to college.” When he grunts she sighs, “At least she wants to go to school and isn't staying behind for some guy she met.”
As much as I like Merrick and I like him a lot, a little too much because I feel that L word creeping, I wouldn't give up my chance at Art School for the chance of love. That's just crazy. Besides, real love wouldn't stop you from following your dreams right? It would help you. It would find you. Real love finds a way to work in even the worst situations.
“Why would you even put that out there?” Dad snaps. “Are you considering that? Is there something you need to tell me?”
Noticing the panic on his face, I shake my head not even in the mood to be a smart ass on the off chance he starts prying into my life harder. “Just the usual. School. Work. And Hayli.”
“That girl,” he mumbles. “If I didn't know her parents...”
“She would be even worse than she is,” I reply looking at him. “Speaking of, we're going out tomorrow night, so I won't be home just in case you come home and wonder where I am.”
“Where are you going?”
“Out with Hayli.”
“Out where?”
“Out wherever,” I try to answer without much emotion.
Can you imagine explaining to the doctor in the hospital I gave him a stroke when I told him, not only that I have a boyfriend but his source of fun is the very thing you try to prevent from happening all the time? Jail time for attempted murder is no joke.
When he goes to fight Nadie intrudes, “Let it go Nick. She's an adult. Just be grateful she even mentioned going out and thankful over the fact she's not barefoot and pregnant asking you for handouts.”
“Why barefoot?” I question.
“Old expression,” she hums picking her tablet back up.
“Fine,” Dad agrees. “Just do your old man the courtesy of avoiding getting that way.”
“I will do my best,” my vow makes him smile brightly before reaching for the remote. He turns, starts to flip through the channels. “Classes alright?”
Gushing, the words fly out of me, “Really good actually.”
“Really good huh? Why?”
“Just...” I pause realizing if I give too much detail about my art project the level of explanation will be the start of a disaster. “Interesting classes. You know how much I like art classes.”
“Just like your mother,” he sighs and glances at Nadie. His eyes fall back to his glass. “You know, I have some of her old art work from when she was in college if you wanna take a couple pieces with you when you move.”
My heart drops into my stomach.
He's really trying. It's clearly killing him to try to let me go. I'm gonna miss him too, but I'm definitely ready for a change of life. If these last few weeks with Merrick have taught me anything, it's that life has to be lived.
“I'd like that.”
Dad offers me a brief smile before taking a long drink to finish the contents. “I'm gonna get another drink.”
Dismissing himself from the room my eyes travel over to Nadie who has a sad smile to herself.
It's gonna hurt just as much to say goodbye to her as it is to him. Goodbyes always hurt don't they? What am I doing adding Merrick to the mix? One more person's heart to break when I drive off down the highway for my future? God, this sucks...I know he thinks he'll follow me, but what if he doesn't? What if I leave him here in pieces like my dad and Nadie? Will that make me a bad person to leave one more person sad for me following my dreams? Ugh. Why isn't life flawless like one of these damn pieces of artwork I spend hours staring at?
Merrick
I've changed this fucking shirt four times and my jeans twice. I'm turning into a fucking chick and know it. This is fucking ridiculous. They're just clothes.
“Those jeans make your ass look fat,” Knoxie sneers from my doorway.
“Fuck, really?” I look over at her away from my full length mirror.
Why didn't you say something sooner!
Immediately she starts laughing sinsterly and it hits me she's fucking with me.
I give her the finger and adjust my black t-shirt one more time, not sure it's still in the right place.
“Wow,” she whispers out. “You wanna tell me about her?”
“What makes you think there's anything to tell?”
Knoxie folds her arms across her chest. “Bullshit your big brother all you want, but try that with me and I'll feed you your balls for breakfast.” With a chuckle I look at her again. “Now, tell me or I'll claw it out of you.”
“She's perfect.”
“Caught that by the way you've tucked that shirt in and out three times since I've been standing here. By the way, untuck it. When you tuck in just the front part you l
ook like a douche.”
“Ben does it.”
Her face doesn't move. “Like I said.”
I lightly laugh and untuck my shirt before grabbing my black baseball cap to put on my head backwards, my signature style.