“We need to talk.” She tried to get in front of him, but he bent down and began putting stuff in the refrigerator.
“Little late for that.” His voice was gruff, the kind warm tone she was used to completely gone.
“Byron, I just went to look at a couple of places. Neither of them is going to work.”
“But you are looking.”
She reached out to touch his shoulder then she hesitated, not sure why. He wouldn’t hurt her. Not physically. She stepped closer and laid her hand on his arm. “Please talk to me.”
The hurt and anger in his expression stunned her. “Nothing to talk about. I get it. You said you wanted to be friends. What you really wanted was a fuck buddy with no strings.” His face was hard, and his eyes cold as he watched her.
His choice of words hurt. She’d never thought of sex in those terms, especially not with him. “The realtor found out I was an artist and suggested looking for a studio. Before I knew it, she’d set up appointments at these two places.”
Anger, hot and hard, replaced the hurt when he stared at her. “And I don’t fuck men. I make love.” As the words came out of her mouth, she realized how stupid they sounded. She really hadn’t done much of either.
She’d never used that word before and determined not to use the ugly thing again. Tears burned behind her eyes, and she blinked to keep them back. No way was she crying in front of Byron.
She headed for the door before she compromised her morals anymore. Besides, she couldn’t hold back the tears for much longer.
Were all men single-minded and domineering? She’d thought Byron was different. Disappointment flooded her emotions. He wasn’t different after all. She grabbed the handle and jerked the door open. Striding toward the house, she pasted a pleasant look on her face.
Having Cary and Micah feel sorry for her wouldn’t change a thing. She’d pack in the morning and continue her search for her place in the world. She’d felt at home here, but obviously she’d created a fantasyland.
She’d almost reached the porch when she heard Byron behind her. His hand closed around her upper arm. She saw Willa watching them through the window and knew she couldn’t make a scene, so she turned to him, a brittle smile on her face. “Willa is watching.” Her words hissed in anger.
Byron let go, but stepped closer. His expression softened, but the disappointment remained. “I don’t want to fight with you. I’m sorry I overreacted. Maybe I expected too much. Aw, hell. This isn’t coming out right.” He ran his hands through his hair and stared at the toes of his boots. “I’m just not sure this is the right thing to do.”
“Not the right thing to do? What, being friends or seeing if there’s something more between us.” She straightened and jammed her hands on her hips. “What ever you think is best for you, I’ll go along with, and I’ll own any mistakes I make. What I won’t do is be punished for something I didn’t do.”
“Why didn’t you tell me you were going to move so soon?” He’d stiffened too, but she could handle an honest question.
“I don’t know that I am. It all came up so fast. Ms. Cole was supposed to contact me when she had appropriate properties instead of showing up with the appointments already made. I was going to get your opinion on them and see if you’d come look at them with me.”
His shoulders relaxed slightly, but his expression remained grim. “Okay, I did overreact. I’m sorry.”
“You’re forgiven.” She sensed something was still bothering him. “What else is wrong?”
He shrugged. “Doesn’t change the fact that you’re leaving. Probably for the best though. I’m not looking for anything long term.”
Or anything short term or anything at all. He was right. If this whatever it was between them had progressed any farther, it would be much harder when he decided to break it off.
And what was it? Raw sexual attraction? The term in relation to how she saw herself almost made her giggle. When she saw the look on his face, the humor died before it was born. “You’re right. I think it best to just remain friends. If you even want that.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
What was it his grandfather used to say? Beware of what you wish for. You might get it. Byron hadn’t minded his life before Vivi. He’d thought he’d liked it. Peace, tranquility and solitude were the things he’d been looking for. So why had all the color gone out of his world?
He was surrounded by shades of gray. He knew he was better off in the long run to stay alone, but for once in his life, he was questioning his choices.
Vivi hadn’t come riding since their last discussion. As much as he’d grumbled in the beginning, he missed her bright outlook and desire to learn everything.
Without thinking, he caught Worry and saddled him. She had said she wanted to remain friends, so what was wrong with friends going for a short ride?
Byron strode to the house. He hesitated before knocking. Get it together for shit’s sake. He was just asking her to go riding, not to get married. Why was his heart hammering in his chest?
He rapped three times. Through the heavy oak door, he could hear Willa and Rodie racing to answer. “Hi, Byron. Want to come play with me?” Even though nerves had him on edge, he couldn’t help but smile at the little boy. “Sure, what are we playing?” He’d always had a soft spot for kids.
“My match-em cards.” The little boy grabbed Byron’s hand and pulled him to the coffee table in front of the couch.
A jumble of small cards were scattered on the table, face down with a Toy Story logo visible on each one. Rodie plopped down beside the table. “You can sit on the couch cause you’re big.”
As Byron settled onto the over-stuffed leather sofa, he asked, “How do you play match-em cards?”
Willa dropped to sit beside her brother. “You’re supposed to match the cards or you have to put them back, but Rodie doesn’t know how to do that. We just take turns choosing cards and keeping them.”
Rodie bounced up and down. “I gets to go first.” He picked up a card with Buzz Lightyear on the front then one with Slinky Dog. The little boy hugged the cards to his chest and grinned. “Your turn.”
Byron chose two cards that didn’t match either but he played along. He looked at Willa. “How do we know who wins?”
“Well, if Rodie accidently picks up a matched pair, he thinks he wins. If not, who ever has the most cards wins.” She took her turn. “This is his favorite game.”
When all the cards had been picked up, Rodie counted each pile with just a couple of mistakes. Willa had the most by one card and much to Byron’s surprise the little boy hugged his sister and scampered away.
“Do you know if Vivi is here?”
Willa tilted her head as she studied him. “Did you have a fight?”
Out of the mouths of babes. “Not really. Just a difference of opinion.”
“You had a fight. She’s been sad.” Willa studied him with an air too old for her twelve years. “I’ll go get her. Don’t hurt her feelings again.” With that, she disappeared.
Oh, shit. Even the kids were on to him. What if Vivi didn’t want to see him? Maybe she’d ask Willa to send him away. He’d been a few months from becoming a safety in the NFL, and now he was scared of a tiny, kindhearted woman. Suck it up, Garrett.
He heard the murmur of voices and footsteps coming down the stairs. Standing, he prepared to meet Vivi.
The novice cowgirl in Wranglers and boots was gone, replaced with the colorful, wistful hippy girl he’d first seen. Even with the flowing skirt and bright colored necklace and bracelets, how had he ever thought she was a starry-eyed dreamer?
She didn’t meet his gaze, and he thought for a moment she’d leave him standing there. Willa stood behind Vivi, her eyes locked on his.
“Willa, would you leave us alone for a minute?” Byron watched as the girl thought over his request. With a nod in his direction, she disappeared into the kitchen.
Vivi hadn’t moved. She stood with her arms crossed below those lusc
ious breasts. Her eyes were focused on her shiny pink sandals. Even though he waited several minutes, she didn’t look up. She wasn’t making this easy on him, but he didn’t deserve easy.
“I haven’t seen you around for a few days. Everything all right?” Byron longed to see her smile.
“I’ve been busy.” No smile there and he realized he’d never seen her remain straight-faced for longer than a few minutes, even when he’d been at his worst to her in the beginning.
“You missed your riding lessons.” He hoped her love of horses would break the ice. “Worry asked where you were.”
When she just looked at him, dread filled his gut. He dropped onto the couch. She turned to go and he jumped to his feet. “Would you come out on the porch with me?”
She raised her gaze, not a flicker of interest on her face. “Why?”
“We need to talk.” He wiped a sleeve across his forehead. “You said you wanted to remain friends. I’d like that.”
There was no expression on her face, and the only indication she was tense was the soft tapping of her toe against the red fir floor. “Friends?”
“Yes. I want us to be friends.” He wanted so much more than that, but if he asked for what he really wanted, she’d break his heart when she left.
He saw the exact moment she forgave him. Her shoulders lowered, and her jaw relaxed. She walked out onto the porch and sat in one of the oversized Adirondack chairs, leaning back against the colorful cushion. “You want to be friends.” She folded her hands in her lap and turned her bright blue eyes on him. “Just friends?”
“Well, yeah.” He sat carefully on one of the other chairs before leaning back and stretching out his legs. “We can go back to the way we were before, right?”
She stood and moved to the railing. When she faced him, her expression was grim. “No, we can’t.”
Now he was confused. He’d thought she was onboard for the friend thing.
“We will be polite to each other, and give each other a hand when we need it, and I will probably take a riding lesson from you once in a while, but we won’t go back to the way things were.”
Byron had watched Vivi laugh, he’d watched her almost cry, he’d watched her be kind to the children and animals, but he’d never seen her as serious as she was standing there looking at him like he was a bug on a stick.
Vivi’s beautiful eyes were filled with determination. “I lived much of my life, tiptoeing around, trying to not make my father mad. I can’t do that with you. Friends don’t treat each other that way.”
~-~
Unease had gripped Vivi as she drove the hours to Leavenworth, Washington, this time, meeting a realtor that wasn’t Ms. Cole. The trip with the first realtor had been a monumental waste of time, and Vivi wasn’t giving the woman another chance. She’d asked around and found a man with a great reputation for being honest and knowledgeable.
The property had looked good online, but she’d been fooled before. She’d mentioned the trip to Byron, but didn’t ask him to go. Leavenworth was farther from her new friends than she’d wanted, but it was a perfect location for her business.
The online pictures and description hadn’t done the property justice. Three hundred timbered acres was more land than she needed, but the handcrafted log house, built from trees cut on the property, gave her a warm feeling of belonging. The rustic lines and huge beams were something she’d only seen in pictures, but once she’d walked inside, she couldn’t imagine living anywhere else.
The white clapboard building tilting ever so slightly to the left might have been an old mercantile. It sat on the edge of the property next to the highway only a half a mile from town. From the looks of it, it hadn’t been used for more years than Vivi had been alive, but with a lot of work, it would be a perfect studio. Within walking distance from Leavenworth’s main street was an added bonus.
The realtor had been a no-nonsense man in his early fifties who seemed more interested in finding her what she wanted than making a sale. His family had spent three generations living around Leavenworth, and he entertained her with stories of the area. “Let me know if you have any questions or want to look at more property,” he’d said as they shook hands at the end of the showing. “Not too many properties like this around here, but I could probably scare up another one or two.”
The first large drops of rain plopped onto the windshield as she’d started back toward East Hope, the dark skies mirroring her dark mood. She didn’t need to look at more places. The joy of having found the perfect home was dampened by the loss of a dream.
The drive back gave her more time than she’d wanted to think. This was the end. Byron wouldn’t leave the Circle W and she couldn’t be a burden to Micah and Cary any longer. They’d been good friends, had helped her more than she’d expected, but it was time for her to get on with her life.
Hoping for a committed relationship with Byron was a pipe dream. She could feel herself falling in love with him, but he hadn’t even hinted that he’d wanted more.
She’d left the eastern Unites States to make her own way. Somehow she’d gotten waylaid in a tiny town and lost her heart to a big, kind cowboy.
As she sat in front of the ranch house, she watched the raindrops stream down the windshield. The six plus hour drive had exhausted her and hopelessness weighted her heart down. Maybe it would be easier if she just packed up and left without talking to Byron. She laid her head on the steering wheel. That would be the coward’s way out, and if nothing else, she wasn’t a coward.
The sun had set. Byron should be in his bungalow. Before she could change her mind, she ran through the rain to his tiny porch.
The sound of her knuckles meeting the weathered wood of the door echoed through the silent evening. A chair scraping the scarred wooden floor.
Reaching up, she wiped a drop from her cheek. The desire to turn and run was overwhelming, but made herself stand her ground.
Byron swung the door open, and she saw the smile spread across his face. They’d been cordial in the days since Byron came to the house and offered to be her friend. She didn’t want a friend. She wanted Byron to love her as much as she loved him.
That wasn’t going to happen.
When Byron saw her standing outside the door, he swung it open wide. “You must be freezing. Go stand by the stove.”
Vivi hurried to the small potbellied stove, held her hands over the top and let the warmth sink into her skin. When she turned to face him, it was all she could do to smile. This was the beginning of good-bye. She’d see him in the weeks it would take to finalize the purchase of the Leavenworth property, but after the discussion tonight, nothing would be the same.
She’d spent countless hours imagining what life with Byron would be like. A life that wouldn’t happen, no matter how hard she tried.
“I need to tell you something.”
Byron dragged one of the oak kitchen chairs closer to the fire, but she remained standing.
“I found a place.”
He nodded and motioned to the chair.
Well, what the heck. She didn’t want to be rude. As Vivi sat down, she tried to relax, but couldn’t stop winding the turquoise and silver ring around her index finger.
Byron watched her, waiting.
She’d rehearsed her speech on the drive back to the Circle W. “It’s in Leavenworth, Washington. Three hundred acres with a beautiful house. But the thing that attracted me is the shop. It’s perfect for my studio.” This was harder than she’d thought it would be, and Byron wasn’t helping. If he’d get mad, she could stomp out. If he begged her to stay—no, he wouldn’t do that, but if he acted like he’d miss her at all, she was afraid she’d reconsider.
He picked up her hand and looked into her eyes. “You think this is the perfect place?”
“Yes, I think so.” It wasn’t. No place would be perfect without Byron, but the small town property was probably as close as she’d get. “Leavenworth is a tourist town and artist’s colony. It shou
ld be a great area to base my studio.”
“If this is what you want, go for it.”
Vivi sighed. In the back of her mind, she’d held out the hope that Byron would do something. Ask her to stay, offer to go with her—even offer to go check out the property as a friend.
His sad smile almost brought tears to her eyes. “I’m happy for you.”
It really was over then.
Byron walked to the sink filled with dishes and started the water running. He kept his back to her.
“Want to go look at it with me?” Where had those words come from? She was a glutton for punishment. Way to set herself up for another disappointment. “You don’t have to. Never mind.”
He stood, looking over his shoulder, his hands still in the soapy water. His gaze wandered over her, finally stopping on her lips. He looked into her eyes and nodded.
“You do?” Her stupid heart raced with excitement, and she couldn’t wipe the smile off her face. So much for playing it cool. “When would be a good time for us to go?”
He pulled a towel off the horseshoe rack beside the sink and wiped his hands. “It’s supposed to rain for the next few days. How about tomorrow?”
“In the rain?” She didn’t have a raincoat.
“Little rain never hurt anyone.” He lifted the top of an old trunk and pulled out a bright yellow slicker. Shaking it out, he draped it across her shoulders. He was so close, if she stood on her tiptoes, she could kiss him. His eyes burned into hers and he tugged her closer with the lapels of the coat.
Vivi swore she stopped breathing, but as her eyes drifted shut in anticipation of the kiss, he stepped away.
~-~
Vivi didn’t sleep much that night. Would he like the place or tell her it was all wrong? She was dressed several hours before they were to meet and was standing on his porch at six a.m. the next morning.
Cowboy's Sweetheart (Sugar Coated Cowboys Book 3) Page 9