This is not a dream.
The voice comes from nowhere and I bite my lower lip hard enough to draw blood just to stop myself from yelling. Of course, according to Katie, I can’t make a sound. Which means I’ve just self harmed for no reason. Great. When I reach up to rub the sore spot on my lip, my hand comes away clean. I wonder if my earthly body back in that cell is bleeding in its souls’ absence.
Rose, meet the Keepers. There’s nobody around. No-one’s sure if they have actual physical… images but they’re here. They’re all around us this side of the curtain. The curtain is a thin wall of cloud that we walked through at the end of the bridge. Katie told me I was lucky because she had had to go through the curtain alone on her first visit, with no clue what was on the other side. This time, I had her. I didn’t feel very lucky. Beyond the curtain was an almost hypnotic swirl of colors, gently twisting and turning and slowly drifting past to let the next pattern take a turn at dancing. These were auras, Katie explained; little pieces of life forces that kept the world going. If the glow she gave off when she was using one of her angel powers was an aura then Katie’s was the purest I’d ever see.
Probably. But the white up here…
The clouds.
It’s not cloud. It’s the aura of every angel in existence. That’s why it’s darker in places. All angels were human once - just like you. The white you will see beyond the curtain is absolute. It’s like somebody has painted it and, in a sense, they have. The Keepers are good, honest, sometimes too honest. They’re brutal and people get hurt but it’s always got a reason. And if they can convince themselves that what they do is for the greater good then they can cover their mistakes with –
WE DO NOT MAKE MISTAKES, MISS CARTWRIGHT! A voice roared inside my head. Katie rolled her eyes and put a finger to her lips, a strange gesture since we couldn’t speak.
Their less understandable decisions with light. Because they believe it.
So an aura’s kinda like your conscience.
Seems to be how it works around here.
Hand in hand, we pressed forward until we had gone through the dancing colors. Well into the complete white space ahead, we stopped, after a minute or two, I began to stop feeling like I would fall through this cloud-like stuff and relaxed a touch.
This is not a dream.
No shit. The past few days felt more like a nightmare that I was more than ready to wake up from.
You will not be harmed while you are here. Not this spirit version of yourself nor your physical body.
I’d like to say that promise is a comfort but it’s not. They can’t really control whether or not I fall of the silver bridge on my way back, and if I did would I drown or burn? And where’s here?
This is their home. Well, I think so, thought Katie. It’s a bit like heaven, I suppose, here they keep an eye on us mere mortals. Okay, I’m not mortal exactly, stop nitpicking.
You are not wholly immortal either Miss Cartwright. It may be near impossible for anyone else to kill you but there are exceptions.
I know. It takes another minute of silence or conversation they’ve blocked me from before Katie ‘speaks’ again. Anyways, this isn’t about me right now. It’s about Rose. We’ve both been caught by men working for Mariah, pretending to be police. They already have Jack and now they have us too.
You were not traveling alone.
Coffee Shop Guy? But… we left him in the café.
That’s a diner. I’ve discovered you have to learn a whole new type of English when you talk to an actual English person. With the waitress who got hurt. Do you… can you tell how she is?
No.
No? These were meant to be powerful God types and they can’t even check on an injured woman for me? I fold my arms and wait for an explanation, unsure where to look for further comment. Not like it matters since they obviously believe they are above explaining things to stupid teenagers.
They can’t. The Keepers have no presence in our world. Can’t even go there. But you can send an agent to find both of them, can’t you? They’re victims of this fight now – this fight you got me involved in. So, in a way, this is your fault. You have a responsibility to do this. For Rose.
We do. We shall ask one of our Earthly contacts to check.
You don’t even know what they look like.
If disembodied voices could roll their eyes, the ripple of breeze I feel raising all the hairs on my arms and legs mean they’re definitely doing it. Their images are in your head. We have access to your mind. We know.
Okaaay. Getting creepy now. My brain is kinda private property.
Katie runs a hand through her long hair and holds her hand out, eyes closed, and ties her hair back with the red scrunchie that appears in her palm. A thin pink line pokes out from beneath her shirt when she stretches. She must have seen me looking because she quickly smoothes it back down. “What’s that?” I try to ask, forgetting in my curiosity that I have no voice here. My words come out as a meaningless rasp but I point and raise my eyebrows. A firm shake of the head in reply. Grrr.
What does this Mariah want with me?
I’m done with letting Katie and these Keepers tell me what they want me to know. From now on, I’m asking the questions. Who is she and what does she have to do with my life?
That is a question that cannot be answered. Nor can we tell you what se will do when she gets you. However… we can tell you that she wants you because of your future.
My future? The one where I keep drifting through every city in South Carolina until there’s none left and I move state and bum around all over again. That future? She’s welcome to it.
You are destined to be important to many people in your world and that is why we must protect you from any plans Mariah may have, by finding a safe, contained town for you to create a niche for yourself. You are going to become a Shade, Rose.
A Shade? That’s… wait, that’s a dead girl.
If you cannot be settled in an appropriate area in time, you will not become a Shade.
So, to become a Shade, I have to die but I could die anyway and not be a walking dead girl? Just a… dead girl. Lovin’ the options here guys.
Rose, it’s serious. I won’t lie to you-
Why the Hell not? You haven’t told me the truth, Katie!
Because I didn’t know! She takes a second to look at her bare feet and, when she looks back at me, the intense burn of emotion in her eyes has dulled to a simmer. Dying isn’t fun, trust me. But I died in a Keeper protected town and I got to come back
And hasn’t that been fun?
I may be working to earn my place here but it’s still a lot easier than the life I was living.
Right. She looks like a more or less well-adjusted teenager. I bet she never had a dark moment in her life until now.
Miss Cartwright, perhaps now is the time to let your marks show.
Katie closes her eyes as if steeling herself for whatever is next. A moment later, I understand why. Her clothes fade just enough that darker patches of skin show through. Those patches brighten and she’s covered with scars; none more than a year old. There are two on her face, one on her thigh, that pink speck I glimpsed earlier is the lower tip of a jagged scar on her left side… And those are just the ones I notice before her clothes solidify around her again. We’ll talk tomorrow, she promises.
Death can be brutal. It will be brutal. They’re so not selling me on this dying to be a Shade thing. I’m more on the DYING: THING TO BE AVOIDED THING. You have no control over this. You may change when and how but, if you are meant to die, you will.
Chapter nine
Angels of America: A Circle of the Fallen novella Page 8