Twenty Four Weeks – Episode 19 – “Thirty”
Written by J.D.Denisson.
A sequel to the movie “This is Where I Leave You”.
Characters and back story based on the novel “This is Where I Leave You” by Jonathan Tropper.
Copyright 2016 J.D.Denisson.
Previously…
“Okay.” She steels herself. “I was having sex with two men. With you it was kind of an obligation. I mean I loved you, don’t ever doubt that. But the sex with Wade was the sex I was having without obligation and that was kind of better.”
I close my eyes.
“Damn it, Judd. I warned you about this.”
“Keep going,” I say.
She sighs. “It was hard not to think of him when I was having sex with you. I kind of needed it to get through it.” She shakes her head. “This makes me sound like a horrible person.”
…
“Wade Beaufort,” Wheeler says.
“Present,” Wade says back with an easy grin.
“So, what do you think about our idea?”
“I’m here, right? You see me here? I must be just a little interested.”
“And you’ve brought your manager?”
Wade turns slightly. “I brought my producer.”
Wheeler nods. He’s regarding me, like I’m an insect that he’s about to dissect, like he’s examining all my thoughts, cataloguing them. He says nothing, he turns back to Wade. “Any thoughts on the format?” he asks.
…
I’ve been here before. This is a familiar scene to me. It was years ago, when Quinn was carrying our first child. We were so full of hope then, full of love, full of joy. This was just another stage in our journey and we attended to it with all the enthusiasm we could muster. We’re overjoyed to be here again, but it’s tinged with a little fear and a little sadness. Last time it came to nothing. We’re hoping that this time things will be different.
We’re sitting in a circle. There are eight couples, sixteen of us in total, with another sitting somewhere in the middle. You can’t really tell where she’s sitting, at the start, at the end, in the middle. It’s a circle and things don’t work that way. I guess, because she’s the odd one out, she defines the start and the end.
We’re all connected in some way, even before we walked in half an hour ago, even before we met. We have something in common. There are bankers and stockbrokers, there are teachers and nurses, there are plumbers and electricians. People from all walks of life, from all positions and stations, sitting there, smiling at each other, joining together, becoming friends when it would have been near impossible in any other circumstance.
Because we are all pregnant.
…
Quinn and I pull up at the Uptons around ten in the morning. Normally we have the only car in the drive, but not today. There are three, and I have to park in a different place.
Quinn flashes me a look of concern, but I shrug back. I help her out of the car and walk hand in hand with her to the steps that lead to the landing and the front door. It opens and a woman around Mary’s age waits for us to make the top.
“Can I help you?” she asks.
“We’re here to see Grant,” I say, perhaps a little timidly. This is not our usual reception.
The woman’s face drops a little. “He had a session today?” she asks.
“Yeah. Judd and Quinn Altman. With Mary.”
“I’m sorry. We thought we’d called everyone. I have some bad news.”
Quinn grips my arm like she’s about to fall.
Thirty
Monday
Wade calls me into his office after the show. He’s looking a little nervous and I’ve seen the expression on his face before. He’s wearing the same mask he wore when I found him in my bed. Betrayal.
“I’m going to just come out and say it,” he says, hesitantly.
“Say what?”
“I’ve brought in my manager.”
I’ve wondered why he hadn’t involved his manager before. For some strange reason Wade preferred to do things on his own, and lately he’s been involving me. But I’m no good in negotiations. I’m not a lawyer. I just know how to work the desk and keep the show afloat.
Eric Beech is a little older than Wade, who’s a little older than me. He’s a lot shorter than both of us, even a little shorter than Quinn. He used to wear expensive suits but not now, crumpled slacks and short collared shirts are his uniform. He’s got divorced a few years ago and I guess he’s never quite got over it. He tries, but I think he feels that love has left him behind. I think, at some point, all of us that have been discarded have felt that way. But then we move on and find love again, somehow, someplace. But some of us don’t. Some of us stay trapped in that space between love and death, a limbo of sorts. That’s Eric. And that could have been me too.
“A wise move,” I tell him.
“Really? You’re not mad at me?”
“Why would I be mad at you?”
“Well... you bring in managers and lawyers and contracts and things get all business and friendship kind of gets lost.”
“It’s fine,” I reassure him. “This is got way too big to just wing it, right? But thanks for thinking of my feelings. That means a lot.”
“You know... way back in the car park of the hospital... I said that you were one of my only real friends...”
“I remember.” It was the start of my return, in a way. He moved aside when he saw the damage he had done, and that allowed be to come back into Quinn’s life. It was the first of several quite uncharacteristically decent things that he has done for me. Maybe he still feels guilty for what he’s done to me – and he should – but maybe there’s something deeper.
“Well, you’re more than an employee, you know that.”
“Not until now.”
“Really?”
“You can never quite be sure.”
“Judd...”
“We were friends before and you took Quinn away from me. I’m never going to completely get over that. But I have forgiven you. I guess it takes some time to fully trust you. And I do. And this deal – we both know that it’s got nothing to do with me. But you telling me all this, it means that you don’t want this to kill our friendship. So, I’m letting you off the hook. You do what you need to do to get this deal done. I’m right behind you – and I’m good with it leaving me behind.”
Wade sits there, kind of shocked, but kind of impressed.
“You’re not the same man that I knew.”
“No. And neither are you. This thing with Quinn, it’s changed both of us, for better I think.”
“Really?”
I nod my head.
“Look, buddy, I’ve got something for you.” He hands me a piece of paper. I don’t look at it.
“What’s this?”
“It’s a cheque.”
“I can see that. What it for?”
“Look at it?”
I do. Two hundred thousand dollars is written in Wade’s familiar script. It’s more money than I’d ever hope to make in one huge pile. I can’t take his money, not like this, not this much.
“Damn, Wade.”
“I know.”
“Why? Is this guilt money?”
He sighs. “I guess a little of it is. Buddy, what I did to you... I can’t ever make up for that. But at least I can try.”
“It too much.”
“But that’s not all it is. Think if this as a wedding present from Chloe and me.”
“Quinn and I didn’t get married.”
“I know that,” he says. “And the baby. We w
ant to help.”
“This is still too much.”
“I want you to take some time off. Take six months. Look after Quinn and the baby.”
“This is still too much.”
“Okay, just humour me. Buy another apartment, one without a bad vibe. Whatever you want. Think of it as your cut of the interviews we did, I mean, you were on screen too. Just take the money will you.”
“I’ll have to talk to Quinn before I cash this.”
He looks a little pained. “I know you do. I just wish you didn’t have to.”
I shrug. “We’re married. That’s what married people do. We didn’t share things for two years and look where it got us.”
He nods sadly.
“I have some bad news,” I tell him, changing the subject. I don’t want to keep talking about what has pulled us all apart. “Grant Upton died last week. Heart attack. Very sudden.”
“Crap,” he says. “I liked that guy. What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know. Quinn and I haven’t talked about it yet. We will have to at some point. I suppose we’ll find someone else to talk to, but the thing is, it’s about trust. I trusted him with everything, and now he’s gone. I don’t know if I can go through all that again.”
Tuesday
I hold onto the check for a little over twenty four hours before I show it to Quinn. I guess I’m a little afraid of how she’ll react, me having that much of Wade’s money in my hand. She could see it as being his way of paying off his guilt, which I guess it is to some extent. But I had to think he was genuine to some degree.
She has been on the phone, talking to Alice back in Elmsbrook. When she gets off the phone she comes out into the kitchen where I’m preparing dinner.
“You need to call your sister,” she tells me.
“What?”
“She needs you.”
“Why?”
“Stop with the one word questions. Either do it, or talk to me properly.”
“Okay. I’ll do it.”
“Good.”
“I have something to show you. I don’t want you to get mad.”
“Why would I get mad?” she asks, her voice gaining an edge.
“Wade gave me this yesterday. I’ve been holding onto it, waiting for the right time to show you.”
“And that’s now?”
I shrug. “I don’t think there is a good time for this.” Then I hand her the cheque and she reads the number and sits down quickly, her hand over her mouth.
“Is this for real?”
“Wade says so.”
“That’s a big number.”
“You noticed that.”
“Why has he given you this?” She holds it out between us.
“He says it’s my part of the money he got for the interviews.”
“That’s still a lot of money.”
“And he wants me to take some time off after Rachel is born – look after the both of you.”
She nods slowly. “Are you going to cash it?”
“I was thinking of it. What do you think?”
She sighs. “It’s a lot of money, and I can’t pretend that I’m not a little excited to get it. It’s just that it’s Wade, and I can’t help thinking that he’s buying us off.”
“That’s one way of looking at it, I suppose. But I don’t think that’s all there is to it. I think he feels guilty, but he also wants to repay something of what he’s taken from us, and he wants to reward me for what I’ve done for him. And he wants to give us a future.”
“So, you’re going to cash it.”
“I think I am. Now, I think I’ll call Wendy.”
“She’s in Elmsbrook. Call your mother.”
“What’s she doing there?”
“I’ll let her tell you.”
My family, for as long as I can remember, practiced the art of religious avoidance like they were professionals. Almost the entire calendar was ignored with the exception of Rosh Hashanah, where my father insisted attendance at temple and thereafter invariably offended one of us to the point of their leaving. I was in Elmsbook the week before it fell due, giving back Phillip his Porsche and telling everyone bar Wendy that Quinn and I were starting fresh. No one said anything. Maybe they felt I already had enough to deal with. I guess, in the end, that tradition died with my father.
Hanukkah is now a week away. We never had time for that holiday. Or, I guess, Christmas either. There was a tree, though. Mom would drag it out every year more of a celebration of secular excess than anything else. We exchanged gifts like normal families do and then we went our separate ways. Quinn and I left a little after lunch to her parent’s house and four hours of hell. In direct contrast her family went the whole way, even to the extent of there being a baby Jesus Nativity Scene placed right in the center of the table, often situated right in front of me like they’re making some sort of statement. I remember awkward dinners at her parent’s house, me sitting in the corner, counting down the hours until I could get out of there. The only year we missed it was the year we were married, just a few weeks before. We were still on our honeymoon.
I remember last year. I remember little things, the way she spoke to me, how she touched me a little less than the year before. A week later we were at Wade’s for New Years and she told him for the first time that she loved him. I suppose she had already come to that realisation and was pulling away from me then, little by little. We haven’t talked about this time much. We were always going to, but I’ve been avoiding it, like I have with all my pains. We’ll have to face it sooner or later, I know that.
And at some point we’re going to have to discuss Christmas – now only two weeks away.
“Barry and I we’re... separated,” my sister tells me.
“Really?” It’s a shock, but then, at some level, I’m not surprised. The last time I saw them together things were a little strained - but of course, that was how they were.
“Yeah.”
“I don’t know what to say. So, what are you going to do?”
“I don’t know really. We’re just having a little time apart. It’s not like you and Quinn. We’re still talking.”
“Does he know...?”
“He knows.”
“Shit,” I say and exhale deeply.
“I’m staying at mom’s for while. At the very least I can be here for the baby shower.”
“Baby shower? Why am I hearing about this now?”
“Do you have ovaries?” she asks me sarcastically.
“Not the last time I looked.”
“You do know what ovaries are don’t you?”
“Of course,” I say dryly.
“Really, your only job is to make sure that the expectant mother makes it to the party on time. Even you can manage that.”
“I think I can manage. But, back to you, what happened?”
“It happened after your wedding,” she begins.
“We didn’t get married.”
“Whatever. When I got home he tells me that we’re going to move to Hong Kong.”
“Hong Kong?”
“Yes. Then I said:”
Wendy: I can’t move to Hong Kong.
Barry: You may have to. If you don’t want to then maybe this is a time for us to think about us and where we want to be.
Wendy: Why do we need to do that?
Barry: Because you’re not happy.
“He’s right,” I say.
“Of course he is. I’m not. But let him say it...”
Barry: Of course you’re not happy. I can tell you’re not. I can tell you’re not happy. And maybe, if you’re not happy we should think about not staying together.
Wendy: Are you having an affair?
Barry: No.
Wendy: Is there anyone else.
Barry: There could be. There’s someone at the office that I’m interested in, that’s interested in me. We’ve been flirting a bit and maybe there could be more, but I’m not going to do anything because
I’m married to you. But she’s coming to Hong Kong too.
“He said that? Just like that?”
“I’m paraphrasing, of course.”
Wendy: If I’m not going to Hong Kong would you have an affair with her?
Barry: It’s possible.
She sighs. “...And so then I tell him about Horey and what I’ve done and the funny thing is that he accepts that, he doesn’t get angry.”
Barry: Maybe it is time to rethink things. Why don’t you go home, take the kids, really think about what you want and then tell me. And if I want to stay with me, then we have to go to Hong Kong, but if not then I’ll go alone.
“...So I guess I’ve got this answer to give him,” she says. “I just don’t know what answer is. What the answer could be. Who do I want? Barry? Horey? What do I want?” She sighs. “What do you think I should do?”
“I don’t know Wendy. You’re actually asking me for advice this time?”
“Well, my advice is pretty terrible. Turns out I don’t know jack. I mean first I tell you that you’re going to get back with Quinn, and then I tell you that maybe you aren’t, that you weren’t in love with her in the first place, and now I found out that you are in love with her and you are going to get back with her. I said that you couldn’t be in love with her because you didn’t notice her sleeping with Wade, but I’ve since come to realise that cheaters can be very good at compartmentalising their lives, and become very good liars. So, what the hell do I know?”
“I don’t know either. I suppose you have to ask yourself who you really love.”
“But I love them both – for different reasons. Barry is the father of my children. Horey is my first love and in some ways my dearest.”
“So, Horey then?” I suggest.
“I wish it were that simple. The thing is: I’m not sure I’m in love with either of them.”
“Being in love is just a feeling,” I point out. “It’s not the same as loving someone through the hard places of life. But I don’t envy your position. Wade made the choice for Quinn. Do you think Barry isn’t making the same sort of choice for you?”
She sighs. “Maybe.”
“Well, people kept telling me there is no harm in taking your time thinking this through. Barry gave you time, right?”
“He did.”
“Then use it. Think it through. Take your time. Look at all the angles.”
“You might be right. But, Judd, how did you choose – between Quinn and… not Quinn?”
“I guess I realised that I couldn’t live without her, that I couldn’t face a future that didn’t have her in it. Maybe that should be a question you should answer: who can you not live without?”
Wendy had taken the road most travelled. She had stayed with Barry even though she loved another. But it wasn’t as simple as that. There were children involved and that always makes a situation like that complicated. Children create bonds between people as well, and Wendy was connected to Barry in ways that I am only starting to understand. She loved him as well, but not like she loves Horey. There was history there, long and deep, and full of tragedy.
I think that she will choose Horey in the end. That seems to be where she is heading. But even if she doesn’t, I doubt she’ll go overseas with Barry, and if that is the case then her marriage will be over.
But nothing is ever over. Nothing is ever done. Love can survive.
Wednesday
I’ve been on autopilot for the last few days. I’ve been avoiding my feelings because they’re deeper than I think. Quinn is watching me closely, I know she is. She wants to step in, but she knows that I know what’s eating me up, and she’s waiting for me to confront it. But I haven’t been ready.
But at some
Twenty Four Weeks - Episode 19 - "Thirty" (PG) Page 1