Cass deflated. “You may have a point.” He glanced at her crutches. “But don’t slow us down.”
Clarity shook her head as he headed out the door. She was fairly certain she wasn’t going to be the one slowing them down.
Chapter 8
Clarity had expected Cass to be huffing and puffing by the time they got to the shed, but he was only slightly out of breath. Still, despite carting her weight around with her arms, Clarity wasn’t the slightest bit winded, and she felt a vague sense of superiority. Cass might be able to do all kinds of mechanical things she couldn’t, but she could still beat him in anything physical.
“The guards generally make their circuit around the east side of the shed.” Clarity pointed to her left, in case Cass wasn’t sure which way was which. “I don’t expect anyone to come by at this time of night, but I can keep watch from here while you open the door. If anyone comes by, I’ll distract them.”
Cass shrugged and took a step toward the door, then turned back to look at her. “Wait, distract them how? You said you can’t lie.”
He’s got a point. “I’ll figure something out. I’m better at distracting than I am at disabling tech.” Without waiting for an answer, Clarity took her position at the east side of the shed, where she had a view of both Cass and any guard who might come her way, even though she didn’t expect anyone. The paladin night guards were diligent in their patrols, but no one could circle the grounds over and over without a break. She and Cass had timed their arrival to coincide with the patrolmen switching off back at the main guardpost. She was thus surprised when a flashlight beam came into view.
“We’ve got company,” she whispered loudly enough for Cass to hear. She glanced at him, and he nodded and picked up his pace. She backed up a bit and tried to look as though she had been moving along the path next to the shed.
She didn’t have to fake squinting into the beam of the light as it approached. She wanted to see who the guard was so she could prepare her defense, but it wasn’t until Endurance was almost on top of her that she recognized his face. Of course the guy named Endurance wouldn’t need to take any breaks. She smiled at him and gave him what she hoped was a casual wave.
“Clarity? What are you doing out here?”
Oh, good. He remembers me. That should make this easier. “I couldn’t sleep. I thought maybe taking a walk down here would help.” Technically true.
Endurance relaxed. “Any other girl, I’d say she shouldn’t go walking out on her own at this hour of the night, but I know you can take care of yourself. Heck, you could probably take me out, crutches or no.”
Looks like he wants to talk. That’s great. It’ll give Cass more time. “Oh, come on, the Citadel’s the safest place in the city. I’ve never felt any danger walking around, no matter what the time of night. I’ve never even heard of a guard running into anything dangerous.”
“Well, they don’t always say everything, even to the other warriors.” Endurance leaned closer to her, and Clarity prayed he didn’t look to his left. From his angle, he might be able to see Cass. He kept his gaze locked on Clarity’s face, though. “A couple of guys have seen… shadows.”
“Shadows?” asked Clarity. “Like some kind of ghost or spirit or something? You don’t believe in that kind of stuff, do you?”
“No, but I don’t know how else to explain them. I’ll think I see something climbing the wall, but I shine my flashlight at it, and it’s gone. Or I could swear someone was hiding behind a building, but when I check, no one’s there. I thought that’s what you were when I first saw you. I’m glad you turned out to be real.”
“I’d imagine so!”
“Yep,” Endurance said. “I far prefer pretty girls to monsters made out of darkness.”
“Oh.” At any other time, Clarity would probably have been flattered that he thought she was pretty. After all, Endurance was a nice, handsome fellow, and they probably had a lot in common. But all she could think about was Cass trying to open the lock less than ten feet from her. She stole a glance in his direction, and he was, of all things, staring back at her. She kept the smile pasted on her face and did her best to make the corner of her eye communicate to Cass that he should hurry up. She wouldn’t have thought they were on enough of the same wavelength for that to work, but he did turn back to his work.
Endurance didn’t seem to pick up on any of her inner turmoil, but then, his virtue was physical, not mental. “Though, really, with the potential danger and your injured leg, you probably shouldn’t be out here all alone, especially without a light source. Do you want me to walk you back to the barracks?”
I guess “chivalry” is on his list of virtues, though there’s a reason no one’s carried that name for centuries. “Thanks, but I’m okay. My barracks are in the opposite direction of your patrol route.”
He looked down at her. “Well, I’ll pass by your building eventually. You’re welcome to walk with me until then. I’d love the company.” When Clarity hesitated, he added, “Or I could switch up my patrol circuit and take you back first. Maybe an unexpected beat would give me an opportunity to catch the shadows.”
Clarity mentally winced at his determination. How am I going to get out of this without lying? “I really don’t want to slow down your patrol. Besides, if the higher ups thought I was taking a guard duty shift, I’d get in a lot of trouble. I’m just a trainer, after all.” She gestured at her crutches. “Besides, I’m not sure I’m up for a walk around the entire Citadel tonight.”
“Oh, of course,” he said, but he made no move to continue walking. “Maybe another time? When you’re feeling better?”
“Oh, um…”
“I’d really like it,” he said. “I was impressed how you solved that problem with the glove. Most warriors don’t bother to figure out that kind of stuff. I know I don’t. But you’ve made me want to try.”
I should say yes. Zeal would tell me to say yes. “Can we make that a solid maybe?” Clarity wondered if she’d be kicking herself tomorrow for such a vague answer that might as well have been a no. She didn’t think so, though. She trusted her instincts, and she wasn’t enthused about the idea. Maybe she didn’t want to date another warrior after Valor.
“Sure.” Endurance took the quasi-rejection in stride, which either meant he really was a good guy, or he was holding out hope that her maybe would turn into a yes. Or he’s really not that into me. “I don’t want to leave you out here alone without a light, though.” He held out his flashlight. “Here. Take mine.”
Grateful the light wasn’t shining on her face anymore---meaning he couldn’t see her blush---she said, “Oh, no. I couldn’t take your light. You need it to patrol.”
Even in the dim light, she could see his half-laugh, half-smile. “Oh, I’ve got a spare.” He pressed a button on his armor, and a light shone from his shoulder. Her armor had the same functionality, and Clarity couldn’t believe she’d forgotten about it.
“Oh, right.” The heat in her cheeks intensified.
Endurance seemed ready to go on his way, so Clarity risked a glance at the door again. Cass wasn’t there. He must have gotten inside. She breathed a sigh of relief and bid a heartfelt good-bye to Endurance. When she could no longer see the retreating light of his flashlight, she ducked around the corner toward the door. She half-expected Cass to have locked it on her again, but it swooshed open as she approached.
Cass leaned against a pillar near the entrance of the building with his arms crossed and a frown on his face. He straightened when Clarity entered. “About time you got here. I wondered if you were going to be out flirting with the guardsman all night.”
Clarity gaped at him. “I wasn’t flirting! I was distracting him so he wouldn’t see you!”
Cass uncrossed his arms. “So I didn’t hear him ask you out?”
“You didn’t hear me say yes! Besides, you were supposed to be pickin
g the lock, not eavesdropping on my conversation.”
“And you were supposed to be keeping a lookout, not socializing!”
Clarity was missing something here, but she was at a loss to figure out what it was. Probably Cass was stressed about breaking the rules and was taking it out on her. Alternately, even when helping her, he hated her enough to find fault in whatever she did. “Look, I’m sorry for dragging you into this, okay?”
Even though she was shining the flashlight at him, she couldn’t read his expression. “Whatever,” he said. “Let’s just find the motorcycle so we can get out of here.”
“It should be right where I left it.” Clarity made her way down the row of bikes until she got to dock 9. The vehicle was still there, but it wasn’t glowing as it had been that afternoon. Cass had been right. Someone had turned it off. “Here it is.” She leaned over and flipped on the power switch. The glow from the backlight colored the shed an eerie indigo.
Cass knelt down by the motorcycle and started fiddling with the computer. “Well, the good news is, the GPS record hasn’t been backed up to the server yet, so it looks like erasing the unit on the bike should delete any trace of your illegal activities.”
“What’s the bad news?”
“What?” Cass looked up, frowning. “Oh, there is no bad news. This’ll just take me a few minutes.”
Clarity watched him work for a minute, but she had no idea what he was doing, so staring at him made her more anxious. She left the flashlight for him and went to the other side of the shed to look out the window. The white sidewalks of the Citadel grounds reflected the moonlight, and she thought back to what Endurance had said about shadows. Was someone infiltrating the Citadel grounds? She didn’t see how such a security breach was possible. The guards were quite diligent, and she couldn’t believe several of them had seen something fast enough to repeatedly hide. Even she, who had access to the guard’s rotation, hadn’t managed to pull off a heist without running afoul of one.
Of course, the idea that something supernatural was going on was even more ludicrous. As a paladin child, she’d heard fairy tales about the ancient members of her order having mystical powers they used to fight monstrous beasts, but when she started taking history classes, her teachers were quite clear that such stories were fictional. The paladins had always had better technology than the people around them, and the tales of magic were nothing more than exaggerated portrayals of innovation.
She glanced back at Cass, wondering what he would say to the notion of incorporeal beings wandering the Citadel. Probably that I’m ridiculous for even entertaining the notion. But then, his life was science, and she wasn’t truly considering the notion of shadows being real. She supposed she just longed for the days when magic had seemed real. Either way, she didn’t see anything moving outside except for tree branches swaying in the wind.
After a few more minutes, Cass stood up and powered off the bike. “Okay, I think we’re good here.” He wiped his hands on his pants. “Ready to head back?”
Clarity nodded and turned away from the window. She moved alongside Cass until they reached the door. He allowed her to go out, then pressed a button inside. “This will lock it after we leave.”
As they headed down the sidewalk toward the barracks, Clarity stole a glance at Cass. He seemed as sullen and taciturn as ever, so she figured she might as well ask him the question that had bothered her since she’d gone to his room that evening. He wouldn’t appreciate it, but she didn’t think she could make his mood worse.
“Cass.” She kept her tone as casual as she could. “What’s between you and your brother?”
Cass shot her a sharp glance, and Clarity realized she had been wrong about his mood being as low as it could get. She had thought that he hated her---and she might well have been right---but the emotion in his eyes at her question went far beyond mere hatred. Had it been directed at her, Clarity would have taken off running, crutches or no, but the abhorrence in his eyes was so distant, it had to be for Valor.
“I don’t want to talk about my brother” was all he said.
Clarity thought that was probably true. She also suspected his emotions surrounding his brother cut him so deep, they interfered with his ability to feel anything else. She could have walked away or changed the subject or stayed silent, but she felt like he needed her help. I guess I’ll go first. “I’ve known Valor my whole life,” she said. “Well, not my whole life, I guess. There were those years before I became a paladin, but I don’t remember anything about them, so they don’t feel real to me. What I mean is, Valor is in all of my memories. He was always the perfect child, the dark-haired golden boy. What everyone else had to work twice as hard for came as easily to him as breathing.”
For the first time, Clarity wondered if Valor’s natural gifts were the real reason no one thought she deserved to beat him in the final tests. She had always assumed people resented her because she was a woman, or because he was the Grand Conductor’s son. But maybe it was simpler than that. Maybe the real problem was that, when push came to shove, he had more potential than she did. Everything she earned came from hard work, and maybe perseverance wasn’t as worthy or long-lasting as talent.
She took a breath. “When we got older, he started to pay attention to me. I thought at the time it was because of how similar we were. Both warriors, both proud heroes determined to become bastions of goodness in the world. There was always a screen between the two of us, but I assumed he was maintaining a suitable distance between us, out of respect for me. I wonder now how I didn’t notice he wore that mask for the whole world.”
She glanced at Cass. She hadn’t dared to before. They were still moving forward, but his gaze was locked on her, and she suspected he would have walked into a tree if she weren’t signalling when to turn. He didn’t look angry. He seemed curious but also guarded. She couldn’t tell what he was thinking.
“Valor never had any friends, not really. The other boys surrounded him, but I can’t remember a time where he did anything one-on-one with anyone, or even invited anyone somewhere. It was like he didn’t need anyone, even me. I didn’t notice it at the time, but I was more like an ornament than someone he had a relationship with. And I didn’t notice. Things are usually so clear to me, but I couldn’t see past his facade.”
“His facade,” Cass repeated slowly, almost melodiously, but Clarity still couldn’t read his expression.
“Yes. I finally realized it, after I beat him in the final fight. I had him pinned, and they declared me the winner. All at once, I realized I had never seen a real emotion on his face. He smiled or frowned or even occasionally cried when the world expected it, but when I saw the raw fury in his face when he lost, I realized I was seeing the real Valor for the first time. He hadn’t been shielding me from seeing his feelings because he respected me. He hid them from everyone because he knew his emotions would reveal him as the monster he is.”
Clarity knew she was taking a risk calling the Grand Conductor’s son a monster, and in front of his brother, no less. She hoped she hadn’t read the situation wrong. Cass had seemed terrified of Valor back in his room, but she wouldn’t be surprised to find out both Hughes boys were equally hard to read. “Maybe I’m wrong,” she said. “He is a paladin, and even members of the Families aren’t chosen if they aren’t worthy. The Visionary answers to no one.” She took a deep breath.” But if I wasn’t wrong, you could tell me. I would understand.” She looked at Cass, who was still eying her with the same unreadable expression. “Say something.”
Cass shifted his gaze to study the sidewalk in front of him. “I’m not discussing my brother with you.”
Disappointed, Clarity nodded. She shouldn’t have expected anything different. She and Cass weren’t friends, and he didn’t owe her anything. She’d thought maybe he was the one person who could understand, but maybe not.
For the next few minutes, the only sou
nds were feat and crutches against pavement, but eventually Cass broke the silence. “You’re doing pretty well on those things.”
“The crutches?” Clarity asked. “I guess so. My arms definitely aren’t used to carrying my weight around, and I’m getting bruises where they hit my rib cage. Still, there are advantages to being physically fit, and being able to deal with sudden broken ankles is apparently one of them.”
“I really thought you’d slow us down,” he said. “But---”
Clarity’s laugh interrupted him. “Seriously? I work out every day, and you never do. Crutches or no, there’s no way I’d be the one slowing us down.”
Cass stopped in his tracks. “I’m not incapable of exercise. I just don’t think it’s as important as you warriors seem to think.”
An idea struck Clarity as she pivoted to face him. “Care to make a wager on that?”
“What kind of wager.”
A smile crept over Clarity’s face. “Simple. If I can make it back to the statue in the center of the barracks before you do, you have to start coming to training in the mornings.”
Cass gave her a considering look. “What do I get if I win?”
Clarity was tempted to tell him he wouldn’t, so it didn’t matter, but she didn’t want to sound arrogant. “What do you want?”
She expected him to say he wanted her to leave him alone about training and stop coming to tech support, but he surprised her. “I want you to tell me what’s going on in the Azure District.”
Clarity hesitated. She wasn’t opposed to telling him, per se, especially if he wanted to help. She could definitely use all the assistance she could get. She didn’t think he would tell her higher ups, especially since he would have to admit to his own misdeeds. But she also didn’t want to get him into any more trouble.
He must have sensed her uncertainty, because he smirked at her. “Well, if you don’t want me to go to training…”
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