They entered the rec center and headed back toward the VR room. Most of the stations were unoccupied at this hour of the afternoon, but a few paladins, seemingly lost to the world, stood in the open, white space wearing goggles and gloves. Cass walked past the newer equipment and pulled a more out-of-date helmet off the shelf in the back.
“You don’t want to use the goggles?” Clarity asked as Cass pulled a hacker out of a compartment in his arm and plugged it into the headpiece. The small device would access the Citadel cameras and run his algorithm on them to line up the views. “Or just download what you need into the unit?”
Cass turned on the device and put it on to ensure it displayed the images he wanted. The landscape of the Citadel surrounded him, almost as if he were out on the main lawn. He hit a button on his watch, and the VR changed perspectives so he was by the main gate. Satisfied the system worked, he took off the helm and handed it to Clarity. “Nope. The older ones do panoramic vision better and have a drive I can plug the hacker into. I don’t want to leave a record of what we’re doing, and this way I can just remove the external drive, and no one will be the wiser.”
Clarity took the helmet but didn’t put it on. “Why are we keeping this a secret? Don’t we want to tell the rest of the warriors if there are holes in our security?”
“Yes, but I don’t want anyone to know how I found out about those holes, since it happened while I was doing something nefarious. But don’t worry. If we find something solid today, I’ll go to my father about it.”
“Ah, yes, your father,” Clarity said, and Cass wasn’t sure how to interpret her words. An invisible wall seemed to spring up between them, though Cass couldn’t tell if Clarity had backed off at the reminder he was the Grand Conductor’s son, or if he only imagined the divide between them.
“Anyway, put the helmet on, and it should sync with your watch. You can use that to control what part of the Citadel you’re looking at. All the images come from the cameras, so walking around won’t change your perspective, but turning your head will. The frame should ping red if anyone appears near what I believe are blind spots. I’m going to start at the main gate and move roughly clockwise around the perimeter of the campus, then head up through the middle. Try to spot me.”
“Sound simple enough. How will I know when you’re done?”
“I’ll come back. The VR isn’t fully immersive, so I should be able to interrupt you without endangering you. Any other questions?”
Clarity shook her head. “Sounds simple enough. Let me make sure my watch hooks up properly.” She put the helmet on, blocking most of her face.
After she had pressed a button on her watch a few times, he asked, “All good?”
She nodded, and the too-big helmet slid around on her head a bit. “It’s switching perspectives.”
Okay, I’m off. Here’s hoping you see me soon.” He wanted to say something else, something to make her laugh or smile again, but he couldn’t think of anything. So he headed toward the main gate, ready to test his theory.
Clarity had been on a few stakeouts during her internship, so she knew they were pretty boring. She had taken them as seriously as she could, watching carefully for any sign of her target, but she found it impossible not to let her mind wander from time to time. The same rule applied to trying to spot Cass as he moved through the Citadel. A good half hour had passed since he had disappeared behind the motorcycle shed at the gate, and though her viewscreen had blinked red a few times to let her know someone was near a hidden area, it had never been Cass.
By this point, she had concluded that even if she did spot Cass at some point along the way, the fact that he had remained hidden for as long as he had was sufficient evidence of holes in Citadel security. She wondered what, if anything, the warriors would do about the gaps. Cass had mentioned taking the issue to his father, but Clarity doubted the Grand Conductor would listen. He hadn’t seemed particularly fond of his older son on any of the occasions Clarity had seen them together, but she hated to think Steadfastness would ignore a threat to paladin lives in the same way he turned a blind eye to the Azure District’s plight.
Clarity cringed as she thought of the forbidden part of the city, the same way she had every time it had entered her mind in the three days since she’d been there. She couldn’t help but feel she’d failed the Azurites. She had managed to save one child---at least, she hoped she had. She wasn’t sure if Dovexin was one hundred percent effective---but Clement’s Disease was still killing children. She didn’t know how to get her hands on any more medicine---or even better, vaccines---and even if she could, she’d promised never to return to the Azure District. Her word felt less like her bond than it used to, but she had no intention of violating her agreement in this case.
A red light flashed around the edges of her view, and she turned her attention back to looking for Cass. She pressed the button on her watch until she arrived at the highlighted camera angle. Her view changed just in time to see a squirrel run up the side of the Grand Hall. No Cass there, then. She flicked through the various camera views, though she had no idea where Cass might be. She wished she’d asked him for a description of his route so she could pay more attention to where she thought he was. Instead, she rotated through each perspective, looking for a hint of anyone who looked like Cass.
Clarity continued in the same manner for another hour, alternating between spates of attentiveness and guilt. She was examining a moving shadow she thought she saw between the men’s barracks and the Visionary’s office when she felt a tap on her shoulder. So focused was she on her task, she jumped and yelped at the external stimulus.
“Sorry,” Cass said as she took off the helmet and reoriented herself to the room. “I thought you’d have heard me approach.”
Clarity shook her head, to clear her mind of both the surprise and the VR experience. “I didn’t. I wasn’t sure how long you would be out there, or where you were in the Citadel.”
“You didn’t see me at all then?” he asked. “Not surprising, but not good.”
“Do you want me to take this to my superiors?” Clarity asked. “There’s no reason to bother your father if the problem can be handled at a lower level.”
“No, I found it, and I should handle it,” Cass said. “I know more of the details and can explain them better anyway.”
Clarity had to admit that was true. “Do you want me to at least go with you to talk to your father?” She didn’t think her presence would make his case stronger, since the Grand Conductor didn’t like her, but she didn’t want to leave Cass on his own.
“Nah, I got it.” Cass took the helmet from her, removed the device he had plugged into it, and inserted it back into the compartment in his arm. “So what are you up to now?”
Moping about my failure in the Azure District? “I don’t know. What does one do on a lovely day when one can’t go for a run?”
Cass put the helmet back on the shelf and reached out and took Clarity’s hand. She glanced down at his palm against hers in surprise but didn’t pull away. “Come on,” he said. “I’ll show you what I like to do.”
A dash of hope rose in Clarity’s chest that she might have an activity to distract her from her maudlin thoughts, but she hesitated. “Don’t you have to talk to your father?”
Cass shook his head. “He’s probably at some meeting of all-important people determining the fate of the world. I’ll invite myself over for dinner tonight and talk to him then. This afternoon, I’m all yours.”
Clarity looked down at his hand still in hers and wondered what his words meant. Certainly he didn’t despise her as much as he once had, and he had broken paladin laws for her more than once, but that had been to save dying children. If she went and spent time with him when neither of them had an agenda for the greater good, did that mean they were becoming actual friends? She found herself smiling at the idea. “Okay.”
; He had to let go of her hand so she could grab her crutches, but he seemed reluctant to do so. Maybe he’s just feeling guilty about breaking my leg, Clarity thought, not wanting to read too much into his expression. She followed him out onto the main lawn in the center of the Citadel campus and was surprised when he stopped. She wasn’t sure what one could do on an empty expanse of grass. She grew even less certain when Cass plopped himself down on the ground and stretched out on his back, leaves crackling beneath him.
“Um. What are you doing?” she asked.
He grinned up at her. “What does it look like?”
“All right, fair. Why?”
“Get down here, and I’ll tell you.”
Clarity rolled her eyes, but she put her crutches down and lowered herself to the grass. Within minutes, she was lying so his shoulder was just to the right of her head, their bodies forming one straight line. She turned her head to watch him, his eyes closed, his chin tilted upward ever so slightly, as if to absorb the sun’s rays better.
She thought she was going to have to ask him to explain again, but after a moment, he spoke. “My mother and I used to do this, when I was growing up. After a certain point, my father realized taking me to extra physical training wasn’t doing either of us any good, so he just took Valor, and I would spend the day with my mother. We’d go down to the city or hang out at the rec center, but afterwards, we would come here and run around. These outings always ended up with us collapsed on the ground, talking or just lying here. Those are my favorite memories from my childhood, spending time with someone who loved me without my more problematic family members around.”
Even though they were both paladins, they’d had very different upbringings. Clarity had often felt lonely and unloved, but she hadn’t had to deal with actively abusive family members as Cass had. She wished she could reach out and touch him, but though their faces were only inches apart, her hands were too far from him. All she could do was hope her sympathy and acceptance showed on her face.
Cass kept her gaze for a moment, then turned his head back toward the sky. “Valor cut off my arm, you know.”
He said the words coolly and casually, as if he were reciting the cafeteria menu, but Clarity knew he was revealing a part of himself to her. He had refused to talk about his brother the night they broke into the motorcycle shed, when she had told him about her experiences with Valor. She suspected he didn’t talk about Valor with anyone. “I didn’t,” she said.
Cass still looked so serene, as if he weren’t opening his heart to her and discussing his own personal nightmare. “No one does. Well, my parents do, but they think it was an accident. Valor told them it happened when we were foolishly practicing with real swords. They should have known better. I had never willingly practiced swordplay in my life.”
She watched him, and a tear formed in the corner of her eye. “Cass…”
“He’s been a bully his whole life, and I’ve always been his favorite target. He thought I’d never tell on him. I did, sometimes, but my parents never believed me. Valor is a paladin, after all, and paladins can’t be monsters. He’s always been good at hiding who he is, to everyone except me. He was only ten when he cut off my arm. He was ten, and I was thirteen, and I realized there was nothing I could do to stop him. Not then, and not ever.” Cass looked at her then, a small smile on his face. “I wanted you to know.”
They stared at each other for a long moment, then Cass turned away, closing his eyes. He might even have gone to sleep for all Clarity knew. He didn’t speak again, but she watched him for a long time.
Chapter 17
“Are you humming?” Mercy asked Cass as he helped her chop vegetables for dinner.
“Am I?” Cass hadn’t noticed. He’d been thinking about that afternoon, when he had told Clarity about Valor. His brother was usually a sore spot with him, but he had wanted to give her something to prove he trusted her. Revealing the truth about Valor had done more than connect him to her. He no longer had to carry the burden of knowing his brother’s true nature alone. “I’m sorry. I’ll stop. I know I can’t carry a tune.”
“Not at all. It’s nice. I haven’t heard you hum since…” Mercy trailed off, then gave Cass a keen look. “Is there a new girl? Or are you just excited that Chrissy is coming back to town for the gala?”
Cass felt heat rise to his face, and not just because his mother’s guess was spot on. Nearly a week had passed since he’d received an email from Chrissy, and he hadn’t bothered to answer it. She’d been full of the usual news, and she’d provided a detailed description of her dress. “So you can match me,” she’d said. Cass hadn’t invited her as his date, but they’d gone together every year, and she’d assumed they would again. Cass hadn’t answered her yet, at first because he hadn’t wanted to think about the gala, then because he’d been busy. That afternoon, he’d realized he’d have to admit he didn’t want to go with her, because he wanted to go with Clarity. He just didn’t know how to tell her.
“Oh, you know me,” he said. “Always excited for a chance to publicly show off my paladin pride.”
“Perspicacity,” Mercy said in chastisement.
“Mother.” He echoed her tone and added a mocking note.
“Don’t be glib at me.” She took the cutting board away from him and scraped the contents into the stew pot. “If you’re not excited to see Chrissy, what girl has you making that horrible racket?”
“I thought you said it was nice.” Cass pulled a carrot from the pile of unchopped vegetables next to him and took a bite. “And it’s no big deal. I’ve just been spending a lot of time with Clarity---”
Mercy’s eyebrows shot up, and she dropped the automatic stirrer in its entirety into the pot. She started to reach in to pull it out but stopped, as she must have realized sticking her hand into boiling water was unwise. “Your brother’s Clarity?”
“Here, let me.” Cass reached his metal hand into the stew and pulled the utensil out. He flicked the switch to put it on low, then stuck it the proper way into the hot liquid. “They broke up, Mom.”
“What?” Mercy didn’t seem so much shocked as distracted as she removed the stirrer from the stew, presumably to make sure he’d set it to the right speed.
“Clarity and Valor. They broke up months ago,” Cass said. “So you don’t have to worry I’m trying to steal my brother’s girlfriend, even if she would be interested in me like that.”
“Don’t put yourself down like that.” Mercy took the cutting board and put it in the dishwasher, then grabbed the knife Cass was still holding and did the same with it. “Why wouldn’t she be interested in you?”
Cass leaned back against the counter and took another bite of his carrot. “I don’t know. She seems so driven, like she doesn’t have time for things like relationships. I doubt she’d spend time with me at all if it didn’t suit her goals. Her job goals, that is.” He tacked on the last part a bit too quickly. He didn’t want his mother speculating about his recent extracurricular activities.
“I know someone else that could describe,” she said, giving him a knowing look. “People have a way of putting their careers aside when the right person comes along.”
“I doubt I’m her ‘right person.’ I’ve never been particularly nice to her. Besides, what would Valor say?” Cass asked the last question lightly, but much as he didn’t want to fear Valor, he couldn’t erase his bone-deep terror of his brother with one lawn confession.
“I don’t know why you think your brother wouldn’t support you,” Mercy said. “He can be a little rough around the edges, but inside, he means well. He’s like your father that way.”
Cass was certain Valor rarely meant well, and Steadfastness wasn’t much better, at least where his disappointment of a son was concerned. Mercy liked to see the best in people, though, and Cass hated to quash her optimism. “Maybe.”
“Oh, I’ve been meaning
to ask you.” Mercy pulled a sponge out of the sink and started wiping off the counter. “Why did Tenacity call to ask me about Dovexin supply lines? I didn’t ask you to do any research on them, but she was under the impression I had.”
“Which you confirmed for her.”
“Yes, well, you know I hate to lie.” His mother looked flustered. “But that boss of yours is like a dog with a bone, and I figured it would be better to get her off your tail. I still want to know what’s going on, though.”
“I didn’t want to tell you until I got it working.” Cass kept his voice light. “I’m creating a program to map disease vectors with clinic supplies, to help you get ahead of outbreaks.”
Mercy gave him a level look for long enough that he started to squirm, internally at least. “I can tell when you’re lying to me, Cass.”
“Mom…”
“It’s fine,” she said, returning the sponge to the sink. “Just make sure whatever you’re really up to is worth the consequences.”
“It is.” Cass found himself wanting to tell his mother about his struggles since Clarity had walked into his life, but he didn’t want to involve Mercy. Clarity was right that the fewer people who knew about their mission the better, and he wasn’t sure his paladin mother would understand. “Mom, do you ever---?”
Before he could finish the question, or even be certain what he planned to ask, a beep and a whoosh came from the front of the house, and Steadfastness’s footsteps thundered down the hallway. The man himself appeared a minute later, rage contorting his features. “Do you know what that son of yours has done now?”
Cass gulped. He didn’t think his father could have found out about his illegal activities, but he couldn’t be sure. He also couldn’t think of anything else he might have done to disappoint his father in the past week. He decided to play dumb and act like his usual, sullen self. “I’m right here, you know.”
“Not you.” Steadfastness barely spared Cass a glance. “Valor.” The Grand Conductor turned his attention to his wife. “He’s refusing to come home for the gala. I’ve repeatedly explained to him that it’s crucial for his career for him to attend. How else can I properly introduce him to the movers and shakers of Londigium? Bad enough he performed poorly in his final exam and doesn’t have access to the Citadel’s personnel and resources. Does he have to defy me in this manner, too?”
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