“Twenty-two.” He stood back, his eyes hooded, his posture strained like he was having a hard time not shoving me against something. My chest heaved as he rasped, “Happy Birthday.”
Stunned, I stood there while he walked over to my suitcase and the chair next to it, and grabbed the hoody I’d been searching for as if he had laser vision, tossed it to me, and said, “Staff camp fires are mandatory.”
The screen door slammed after him.
I pressed my fingertips to my lips in stunned silence.
And then jumped when he yelled out. “Ray!”
“Coming.” I stumbled toward the door and pulled the hoody over my head just in time to see his disappearing form heading toward the staff lodge and huge campfire.
I must have looked wide-eyed, because the first thing that Brax said to me with a knowing smirk was, “So… heard Marlo and you were dirty dancing. I’d ask for details, but the students’ memories were very thorough.”
I glared and then flipped him off, much to Jackson’s amusement as he walked over with a plastic cup and handed it to me. “Compliments of all the kids currently doing KP duty.” He grinned. “Cheers!”
“Ch-cheers.” I gulped down something sweet and heavily laden with what tasted like vodka and locked eyes with Marlo across the fire.
The flames rose higher and higher until all I saw were his icy blue eyes.
I shivered.
While his gaze fanned the flames.
I’d always wanted to be looked at like that.
And now that I was.
I wanted to run.
Because there was possession in his eyes, and I belonged to no one but myself.
He smirked.
Yeah… just keep telling yourself that, my blood roared.
And then the damn man winked.
I SHOULDN’T HAVE kissed her.
My body wouldn’t stop flashing me with images of her tears, and if that wasn’t bad enough, I was starting to get concerned that I would never forget the way she felt against my mouth.
But nobody should spend their birthday alone, and I truly couldn’t conjure up much hate. Part of me wanted to shout “Karma” from the rooftops, while the little boy inside me, the one abandoned by his parents at age three, cried out.
He rebelled.
Beat against my chest and demanded I do something kind.
Something that would make her feel less alone.
Less angry.
Less afraid.
Because I wasn’t a fool — loneliness was one thing, but fear almost always followed it, they were, in a way, partners, weren’t they? Because loneliness caused us to doubt our own humanity.
And as much as I wanted to get even with her.
As much as I felt like I deserved it.
I couldn’t bring myself to do anything except touch her, comfort her, kiss her twenty-two times.
I sighed as the flames of the fire died out.
She was still there, talking with some of the other staff members, but always with her arms crossed, always with a polite smile that basically said, please don’t ask me questions.
Hell, she was just as bad as some of our technology-obsessed students, wasn’t she?
Clearly, if my social skills suddenly surpassed her — the sky had indeed fallen.
I smiled at that.
And gave my head a shake.
“You have that look again.” Next to me, Jackson whistled, stoking the fire a bit before tossing the stick in. “The one where I’m afraid you’re going to maul the nearest object with your dick.”
“So in this case…” I pointed to the flames.
“Hell, no!” Jackson shuddered. “I was thinking more along the lines of…” His voice trailed off as his eyes fell to Ray.
“Hilarious.”
“Am I laughing?” He snorted. “Girl pretty much shut me down on day one. Maybe you’ll have more luck since you got all down and dirty with her.”
“Dancing.” I rolled my eyes. “Big deal. We’re actors — it’s what we do, pretend.”
“Ohhhhhh…” He snapped his fingers. “So all this sexual tension is pretend? Why didn’t you just say so, man?” He winked and sauntered over to her.
The hell was wrong with me?
I watched him wrap an arm around her shoulder.
I felt her stiffen as if I was touching her.
And then she very politely stepped away from him and rolled her eyes as if he was the annoying best friend.
Best moment of my life.
Because I knew what that was like.
Friendzoned so hard you get bruises on your heart.
Feels awesome.
He looked back at me and shrugged then wrapped his arm around Jen, the guy moved fast, but he’d already done a stellar job of dating and dumping several of the staff members to the point of earning himself a reputation. So unless he could get Ray to fall for his shit — it was going to be a really lonely summer with his right hand.
Ray was alone again.
Sometimes I hated my conscience. Hated that I wanted to comfort her when for years all I ever wanted to do was seek justice for the way she tossed me aside in high school, for how she beat me for the scholarship I needed more than her.
No matter how many times I tried to bring up logical arguments, my brain just pointed to my heart and shut down.
Before I knew it, I was next to her. “Walk with me?”
Her eyes narrowed — so much mistrust between us, so many reasons why it would never go away no matter what we did. “Are you going to murder me then bury my body in the woods?”
I let out a deep laugh. “If I was going to kill you, I wouldn’t prepare you for it, Ray. I’d just do it. What sort of murderer do you take me for?”
“This isn’t helping your argument.” Her lips pressed into a smirk. God, I’d forgotten how obsessed I’d been about her mouth until now. It caused many a guy to lust in high school, and I knew if I could just taste them again I’d be swimming in my own damn sin.
“I promise I won’t attempt murder on your birthday. You did just turn twenty-two…” I held out my hand.
She stared down at it and then finally gave in.
I squeezed it.
I didn’t let go.
The plan was to hold her hand for a few brief seconds.
And now I was holding it as if it belonged pressed against mine.
Jackson stretched is arms overhead and then did a double take, and his smirk was as big as a house, bastard.
“Eff you,” I mouthed.
It just made him grin harder.
With a sigh, I squeezed her hand and tugged her with me toward the mess hall. We walked in silence, the only real noise coming from our shoes as they crunched gravel with each step.
I stopped at the rear entrance, grabbed my set of keys, opened the door for her, and pointed inside. “Ladies first.”
“So you’re burying me in the mess hall? Huh, have to say I didn’t see that one coming.” She sashayed by me, giving me a full whiff of her perfume.
I gulped and barely regained my composure before firing back. “Were you always such a smart ass or is this new?”
“I don’t know, were you always such an arrogant dick?”
I bit down on my lip and smiled. “I’m pretty sure you know the answer to that question, SP.”
“SP?” She repeated in confusion.
I leaned in and winked. “Short for spoiled princess.”
“Is there a point to this little trek?” She put her hands on her hips and tossed her head. Her light hair, piled in a ponytail at the top of her head, swished, and she licked her lips.
“You mean other than the murder?” I asked in confusion, earning a punch to the shoulder.
“Ouch! Shit!” She shook out her hand. “What the hell do you eat now? Steel?”
“Naturally.” I really tried not to take it as a compliment, but warmth spread across my chest uncontrollably. “I mean when I’m not feeding off small childr
en and protein shakes at the gym with my bros getting all…” I made air quotes. “…swoll.”
“Ah, still a nerd I see.” She smiled like she was glad.
I smiled back. “The day I start talking about PRs and how CrossFit changed my life, I’m handing you a knife and letting you throw at will.”
“Did it, though?” She tilted her head. “Because you never really…” The tension in the room wasn’t helping. “I mean you never really.”
“I was tall and had one ab that I was so fucking proud of I think I took a picture,” I admitted, twisting my lips into a grimace. “But we’re getting off track.”
“From what?”
“This.” I walked over to the fridge and pulled it open. We were having cupcakes later that week for dessert. They were pre-made, and since we often celebrated campers’ birthdays if they were with us, I knew where our candle and match stash was.
I quickly set the pink cupcake on a plate and then grabbed the lighter from one drawer over as well as one green candle.
I’d like to think that when she saw the color green she thought of her grass, and when she thought of her grass, she thought of me.
It was stupid.
Just the delirious daydreams from a heartbroken nerd, who’d had one night with the most popular girl in school and was thrown in a locker the next day.
“This.” I lit the candle and held it out. “This is why we’re here.”
Her eyes filled with tears as she stared at the cupcake in wonderment, like nobody had ever taken time to give her something so precious when all I did was steal it from the fridge.
Ray swallowed slowly and whispered, “So that’s what it feels like.”
“What?” I blinked in confusion.
She flashed me a warm smile. “Blowing out candles on your birthday.”
I almost dropped the cupcake. “You mean you’ve never—”
“Never.” She licked her lips. “It was just another reminder to them, that I was alive — that he was dead.”
“He?” The story was getting weirder by the second. “Who’s he?”
“Do you think that maybe I can just blow out this candle and keep this birthday to myself? For once? I know that sounds selfish and you already think the worst of me, but I really, really want my first candle to be for me.”
I felt my throat clog up, and I had no idea why. I finally settled with, “You’re not selfish.”
“SP.” She repeated my nickname for her. “All right, I’m going to blow.”
My body responded in all the worst ways. “Make a wish, Ray.”
Her eyes flew open when she pursed her lips together and blew, and I could have sworn as the flame snuffed out…
A tingling ran down my spine.
Of awareness.
Of warning.
I ignored it all, though.
I ignored it, and I handed her the cupcake. “Happy Birthday, Ray.”
“Celebrating my birthday with my high school arch enemy, nice.”
“You have to be on the same playing field to be an enemy.” I shrugged and then reached for the door so we could get back to our cabins. It was getting late.
And my self-control was almost completely used up.
“Funny.” She dipped her finger in the frosting and brought it to her lips. “Because I was always under the impression we were.” She held the cupcake up. “Thanks Marlo. I won’t forget this.”
I wasn’t sure if I was relieved.
Or even more infatuated with the girl who had it all.
But who’d never blown out a candle on her birthday cake.
I DIDN’T EAT the cupcake.
It seemed wrong.
So that night, I put it on my desk and stared at it like it meant more than it did. The first real cake I’d ever had. The first candle. It felt wrong destroying what was my first. I fell asleep staring at the pink frosting with a smile on my face.
And when I woke up, things didn’t seem as daunting.
Oh, I still had to teach choreography, but at least the vote for whatever musical we were going to do was happening sometime this week. Come to think of it, I wasn’t sure how they even narrowed down all the options. Every camper had a different idea about what they wanted to do.
I quickly got ready, pulled on my staff shirt, a pair of jeans, and then grabbed my beanie and wrapped a sweatshirt around my waist. I dabbed on some lip gloss and put on a little bit of mascara, but other than that, I was going all natural.
The brisk morning air chilled my body as I made my way to the loud mess hall. The lights were bright from the inside, and campers were sprinting toward the doors like the food was going to run out.
Ah, to be eighteen again and have the metabolism of a toddler.
Nobody was at the coffee station, so I lucked out there and quickly made myself a cup of coffee that would hopefully wake me up. Amid the chaos and the loudness, I had to smile into my searing cup.
There was something about the energy here.
The excitement.
Like the day before school gets out or maybe even the first day of school when everyone has something to say about summer. I smiled briefly to myself and made my way through the buffet line in search of something that looked edible.
I settled on blueberry oatmeal and some bacon that looked charred but still worth saving and sat down at the only empty table.
“That bacon looks like it’s been killed twice.” Jackson pointed his fork, his mouth full.
Brax was to my right. “Well at least she got some bacon, I had to help put out the newest fire with Marlo and then lost the good fight over the past batch before they put that one out.”
“Here.” I handed Brax two pieces.
He clutched them to his chest while Jackson rolled his eyes.
“What?” Brax shoved a piece in his mouth.
“She didn’t ask you to marry her, bro, take it down a notch,” Jackson said in a bored tone and then grinned at something behind me. “Looks like he’s on the war path, and only two days in, one of us should monitor his blood pressure.”
I bit down on my lip to keep from laughing or encouraging Jackson more when I knew it would only make him think I found him funny and, oh my gosh, we should totally have sex.
He might be funny.
But guys like Jackson wielded their humor like a weapon to get a girl’s clothes off, and I knew from experience — it worked better than it should.
“Fuuuuuuuuuuuck.” Marlo plopped down on the bench next to Brax took one look at the bacon in his hand, jerked it out, and shoved it in his mouth.
“And now I’m in mourning…” Brax announced. “What the hell, man?”
“Your students, ergo I steal your bacon. Your class is supposed to help other campers choose the musical, and today I woke up to at least ten different campers at my table arguing why we should do the musical they either just starred in or went and saw on Broadway. One smart ass said anything but Hamilton is beneath us.”
“Hamilton.” Jackson’s eyebrows shot up giving him more of a boyish and less of a I wanna sex you up look. “They do realize that Hamilton is—”
“Don’t.” Marlo held up his hand. “The point is, we have until Friday, it’s Tuesday, and I’m ready to pull all my hair out. And I don’t know my parentage — this could be as good as it gets.” He pointed to his head.
I remembered running my hands through that hair.
I knew its length.
The way it curled around my fingertips like it had a mind of its own or like it was just telling me that he wanted to stay.
“Why don’t you just choose?” I offered in a soft voice. “Pull your trump card as director, give a stupid reason that makes sense to an eighteen-year-old who has way too many hormones to actually make a logical decision outside of what to wear, and there you have it.” I bit off a piece of bacon while Brax did a slow clap.
Jackson sighed. “Your prettier half has a point.”
“She’s not my half.”
Marlo said through clenched teeth at the same time I said. “We’re not together.”
All of this, of course, just made Jackson grin wider like he knew a secret we weren’t in on yet. “Sure…”
I rolled my eyes and tried to tamp down the heat rushing to my cheeks, while Marlo jumped to his feet and walked toward the front of the room.
“Listen up!” he roared in a loud voice, catching the attention of every camper and every staff member in the place.
Even the kitchen staff stopped working and moved toward the door to see what the fuss was about.
Marlon gazed over the campers like they were his friggin kingdom and he was the ruler, which wasn’t far from the truth I guessed.
He threw his hat onto a nearby table and ran his fingers through his dark hair. I licked my lips and imagined my hands were his, like a freak.
He inhaled. A few girls up front giggled.
I rolled my eyes even though I knew why they were reacting that way. The man wasn’t just beautiful to look at. He had perfectly toned muscles to match, strong hands, nice hair. And a megawatt smile that put his scowl to shame. Damn it. I was cataloging his scowls and smiles now?
“I’m pulling rank,” he finally said. “By the end of the week, we’re just going to have more and more arguments over what we should do for the musical, so I’m going to pick.”
Everyone seemed to hold their breath.
Even me.
He scanned the room, his eyes landing on mine. And then, he sucked in his lower lip and smirked down at the ground and back up. “Dirty Dancing.”
A sliver of excitement ran down my body.
Brax elbowed me while Jackson coughed out, “Ray’s fault.”
I almost threw what remaining bacon I had at him.
He grinned from across the table. “Smile any wider, and it’s going to freeze on your face.”
I stuck my tongue out at him.
“Mature,” he rasped. “Also, don’t tempt me, I’m already waiting for the day our friend Marlo screws this up and you come running.”
“Not happening,” I said quickly. “You remind me too much of my ex.”
“You mean drop dead sexy? Hilarious? Gives multiple orgasms in multiple positions, that kind of reminder?”
“Oh, my ex?” I said in a flirty voice. “Nah, he had limp dick and often referred to sex as let’s get some.” I stood and did a little bow while next to me, Brax clapped.
Summer Heat Page 6