My look showed my lack of understanding.
“Capture yourself. Gain control of your life and you decide who you will be as a man. Shape your life instead of always allowing life to shape you.”
I smiled. It was more timely advice. “What else?”
“I’m not saying you’re crazy or depressed, but maybe you should see someone. Like a counselor.”
“You mean a shrink?”
“A professional,” she shot back. The doorbell rang. “At least think about it.” She hurried to the door and walked back into the family room.
When she returned, she smiled. Brendan was standing behind her. “Well, I’ll leave you two to talk.” She hugged and kissed Brendan on the cheek and said to him, “Thanks, love, now this is the best present you could have given me. Don’t get me wrong, I love the chocolates, baby boy.” She laughed and headed out.
“Your mother told me you wanted to apologize. Just like you to get her to fight your battles for you,” he laughed out.
I stood up and walked over to him. I didn’t say a word until I embraced him. “I love you, dawg. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
Just like a friend. He forgave me and I didn’t have to beg. Although, after the talk my mother gave me, I would have.
Lying in bed, Nate was watching Anita sleep. He looked at the lump in the sheet her ass created. He then stared at her, inspecting every inch. She was flawless. What more could he want in a woman? She was sweet, smart, sexy, and she adored him.
Like all men do at some point, Nate was wondering if he was doing the right thing by trying to settle down. He was three weeks away from re-creating the Legend of the Phoenix. His once-promising career had been completely destroyed with no hope of resurrection. Unlike anyone before him he’d risen from the ashes and now he was the hottest story in sports. There was much ado about the dangers that he faced fighting again. It didn’t bother him when ESPN had him on Sunday Conversation and drilled him about the possibility of his death coming in the ring against the Horse. It didn’t even bother him that the Horse had said that he would use his head for a punching bag and let the chips fall where they may.
Nate wasn’t afraid of any of it. The only thing that scared him was the thought of actually committing to a marriage. Although Anita satisfied him sexually, he still found himself thinking about conquering other women. Women he couldn’t put a name or a face to. He’d already been with Halle, Madonna, and a few other stars, but he thought about the stars of tomorrow that he might want to screw, not to mention his penchant for round-the-way girls. He thought of the Afro-centric chick who worked at the juice store across from Howard’s campus. The sexy security guard down at the FedEx building. The hairdresser at the salon where he got his nails manicured.
He thought that he had moved beyond all of that. It was shallow and he knew it, but he still couldn’t shake the desire to fuck them all. It dawned on him that the deeper he got into his training, the more his old mentality was coming back. And with that, the more he thought about leaving Anita. He had to make a decision before it was too late. He did love Anita, but he was, in fact, an old dog.
Nate was jogging to clear his mind. This would be the last week that he would train in D.C. Next Saturday he would be leaving for Lake Tahoe for his last couple of weeks before the big fight at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas. He had on his MP3 player, listening to all his favorite hits. “Jesus Walks” was pumping into his head and he found himself bouncing to the beat of the music. He loved running and thought that if he hadn’t boxed he could have been a track star.
The sun was out as he made his way down U Street. He turned right on 14th and headed up the hill. He ate the hill up and had barely broken a sweat. He was in the best shape of his life. He was so focused that he didn’t notice that once again he was being followed by Lloyd. Nate reached Park Road and turned onto it. He was picking up his pace now. He was listening to the R and was singing along in his mind.
Nate noticed the Hispanic men outside in Adams Morgan. They were in front of their homes, wiping down cars, playing checkers, and just kicking it. Nate turned up an alley to hit a side street in order to circle back toward 14th Street. He was going to run down to the MCI Center before heading home. When he did, Lloyd decided to seize the opportunity. He turned into the alley behind Nate. Nate couldn’t hear Lloyd as his engine revved as he slammed on the gas. There would be no witnesses. The front tag was removed just for this purpose, and when he hit the corner he planned to be moving too fast for anyone to read his back plate.
Nate never even heard the impact or the sudden squeal of the dog or the screech from the breaks. Nate continued on his path, never once realizing that his life had been spared. For all practical purposes, life should have ended for Nate right then and there. Instead Lloyd ended the life of someone’s Labrador retriever. What was strange is that Lloyd was prepared to run over or through Nate, but yet he swerved when the dog ran out from behind the Dumpster. Meanwhile, Lloyd looked at the outcome of the incident as divine intervention. The bottle of Rémy had flown from his passenger seat on impact, as had his Bible. He looked over onto the floor and saw that the alcohol had spilled out and saturated the pages of his Bible. The Bible had been a gift from Miss Bethany on the day he had preached his first sermon. Now it was ruined, like his spirit. He held so much anger toward Nate that he had been willing to throw his entire life away to take Nate’s.
Lloyd got out of his car and looked at the lifeless dog and he began to cry. He fell to his knees and began to pray. He begged for forgiveness. He thanked God because he realized that his life too had been spared. He then did something that surprised even himself. He prayed for Nate and Anita.
He got up and climbed into his car. As he moved slowly past the dead canine, he let out a sigh of relief that it was lying there instead of Nate.
28
Thicker than Water
It was a cool summer night. The breeze more than likely signaled rain was on the way but I didn’t care. I was feeling good. I’d just completed my second session of counseling. It was odd but I wanted to shout to the world that I was in therapy. Leaving the doctor’s office, I tried to decide whether I would head home or out for a drink. I opted for the drink and called Brendan to see if he was going to be able to hang.
He was leaving in a few days to help Nate in his last week of training before the fight. Dee was going with them to work in Nate’s camp and said that he wanted to hang out before he rolled. We all decided to meet at the Red Tavern Grill at the Boulevard at the Cap out in Largo. Once we got there we realized that everyone must have been thinking the same thing because the spot was packed.
We positioned ourselves until we managed to get seats at the bar. “Yo, here’s to our boy. The future light heavyweight champion of the world,” Dee said as we sipped our drinks.
“No doubt,” I responded as we clanked glasses.
“So you think he’s ready?” Dee laughed out.
“We’ll soon find out,” Brendan shot back.
“On the real, I’m starting to think that he has a chance to beat this nigga,” I said. “I just wish he wasn’t doing it for money.”
“Money seems like a good-ass reason to me,” Dee commented. “I’d fight the Horse for a million. Shit, I’d have platinum chains and fronts, the whole nine.”
“You’d need more than a million just for your medical bills if you fought that nigga, Dee,” I said, laughing at the thought. “On top of that you wouldn’t have any teeth left to put platinum fronts on.”
“Speak for yourself, he’s have to catch me to hit me. And if he got off a good shot on me, it would probably be to the back of my head ’cause I’d be running the whole fight,” Dee laughed out.
Brendan was quiet and it made me curious. “What, B, you nervous or something?”
“Nah, I was just thinking ’bout something.”
“What?”
After a second he commented, “You both should know that Nate is far from broke. He ain�
��t fighting because he needs the money.”
I was dumbstruck. I was convinced that there could be no other reason why he would risk his life other than to protect his lifestyle. “You kidding, right?”
“Nah, I’m serious as a heart attack. I overheard him talking to his broker a few weeks back. He was talking about moving a couple million from one fund to another. When I confronted him…he admitted it. He said he told us that just so we wouldn’t question his motives for fighting. So then I asked him why he was risking everything to fight.”
“What did he say?”
“He said the reason was simple. He wanted to be champ again before it was too late. Said he didn’t want to be sitting around wishing he had done something more in the ring. He actually told me that one day while he was sitting in Charlotte he saw a special on ESPN that showed the top fifty greatest fighters in history and there were two fighters in the top fifty that he had knocked out.”
“And?”
“It pissed him off. He knew in his heart that if he hadn’t stopped fighting, he would have been listed in the top fifty. He said the next day he got up and went to the gym.”
“So he doesn’t need the money?” I said, thinking aloud.
“Nope.”
“Ain’t that some shit,” Dee said. We were all silent for a second and then Dee raised his glass. “Here’s to some Rocky Balboa–type shit. May Nate whoop his ass like Rocky did Mr. T.”
We all laughed and argued about which was the best Rocky movie, which stars were sexiest, and who we wanted to see in Vegas at the fight. It was after midnight when we paid the tab and headed out.
I paused at the door and said, “Let me hit the bathroom right quick.”
“All right, we’ll be at the door,” Dee said.
I made my way to the restroom and handled my business. I was digesting the idea that Nate had lied about his motives. I wasn’t mad at him. He was right in assuming that I would have never let up if I knew he was fighting just to take one last shot at glory. As much as I didn’t think that it was smart, I recognized that my fears were not his fears and I needed to respect how he wanted to live his life. My therapy was helping me put a lot of things in perspective. I had come to realize that while my life was affected by the actions of those around me, it was most affected by my own actions and decisions.
On the way out I was stopped in my tracks when I saw her standing a few yards in front of me, going through her purse. It was Nina. She hadn’t noticed me and I couldn’t decide if I should speak. I figured that she was more than likely waiting for her date.
Before I could say a word, the door to the ladies’ room swung open. I looked over and saw Shelly walk out and say, “Let me see your cell, baby, I have no signal in here.”
Nina instantly handed her the phone and they walked off toward a table in the back. I was stunned to see them together, but happy at the same time. There had been a tremendous amount of guilt that I had never realized was still bothering me about coming between the two of them. Suddenly it was lifted. The last thing I wanted at this point was for them to see me, but I followed them anyway. I watched them walk back to their table. Two other girls were seated with them. I was in a daze as a quick couple of minutes slid by. They were laughing and I could tell that they were engaged in heavy girl talk. They were sisters again. I turned and walked away.
“Man, I thought you fell in back there,” Dee said. “What’d you do, take a shit?”
“Hell no,” I laughed. “I saw someone I knew.”
Brendan and Dee had spots up close so I said my goodbyes and headed off across the lot to my car. “You need a lift to your car?” Brendan offered.
“Nah, I’m just over there. I’m good.”
“All right then. Peace.”
There was a reason for everything that was happening. Nate would be fine. I knew it. It would be a stressful time for all of his friends, but I decided to enjoy the ride and give him one hundred percent of my support. There was a lesson to be learned and I was more than willing to accept it, whatever it was.
I woke up late and decided to take the day off. I wanted to do some shopping for the trip, so I showered and headed for Mazza Gallery to Saks Men and Neiman’s. I got there when they opened and headed for the elevator in the garage to get up to the main shopping area. When I got on the elevator I was shocked to see Trina with Khalil in his stroller. Trina was hugged up real tight with a brother looking really comfortable.
When she saw me her eyes got big but she spoke. “Oh, hey Cory. How you doin’?”
“I’m good,” I responded. “Look at him. He’s getting really big.”
The guy gave me a goofy grin. I was sure I shot him a weird look in response. There was no issue with her being with another man. She and Brendan were no longer together. What was odd was the way she was trying to rush and control the conversation.
“You all ready for the fight?” she asked.
“I’m getting ready for it now. Picking up a few things,” I said as the elevator hit our floor.
The door opened and she tried to escape the elevator as if I had passed gas on it. As she began to exit she said, “Good seeing you. Take care.”
“You too,” I responded and then took one last look at the baby, then at her friend. Instinctively, I said, “Oh, my bad, brother. My name is Cory, by the way. I’ve know Trina for years.”
He turned and extended his hand for a shake. “Nice to meet you. I’m Khalil.”
29
A Story to Tell
The Ghostbar was pumping. Everyone was in Vegas for the fight. Half of the crowd in the club tonight was VIP. The Horse always brought out the stars to his fights. He was from Compton and his West Coast following was unreal. There were at least a hundred A-List actors and models in the party and at least twenty groupies or wannabes for each of them. I shouldn’t have had a hard time staying upbeat with all the excitement but I found myself struggling to stay in a partying mood.
My mind had been heavy for a full week. Ever since I had uncovered Trina’s dirty little secret, I had been trying to find the right time to break the news to Brendan. My answer had come to me when she had stopped at my mother’s home and left me a message to call her. When I called her she wasted no time admitting everything to me. She told me that she loved Brendan. She always had and she always would. The boldness and honesty of her words after that both shocked and repulsed me at the same time. After she finished and I had a chance to digest them, I realized that what they really did was scare me.
The discussion had been heated. “Trina, how can you say you love him? All you’ve ever done is lie and cheat on him.”
“Cory, but I do. I can’t even imagine my life without him.”
“Well, you better get used to the idea. ’Cause this time there definitely won’t be any forgiveness. As a matter of fact, you might want to get the fuck out of town. ’Cause if it was me you pulled this on, I would be ready to kill you.”
She paused. “It’s not how you think. The only reason why I was with him that day was because…”
I cut her off. “Trina, please. I’m not Brendan, so there’s no sense in you trying to feed me any of your insane bullshit. You actually named the kid after this other guy. How foul is that?”
“I only did that because I was so upset with Brendan for cheating on me. Yeah, I did fuck around on him with Khalil. But it wasn’t like I was in love with Khalil.”
“But you decided to name the kid after him? You must have been feeling him,” I snapped loudly. I was hating her at that moment.
“Khalil was out of the picture, Cory. He didn’t even find out that the baby was his until a couple of weeks ago. Did Brendan mention the incident where the baby had to get stitches?”
“Yeah, I remember him saying something about it.”
“Well, until that day it had never dawned on me that one of the parents had to have the sickle cell trait in order for Khalil to have it. Two days later I called Khalil and had the test d
one.”
“You ain’t shit.”
She ignored my statement and asked, “So you’re going to tell him? Or have you already?”
I sighed. “Don’t you think if I had you’d be dead by now?”
In a sarcastic tone, she spit, “You didn’t kill Shelly for keeping your baby from you and having another man raise her for five years. Neither did he for that matter. Stuff like this happens. I’m not saying it’s right.”
“Trina, for real. What’s your point? What did you want?”
“I want you to give me some time. Some time to tell him in my own way.”
I paused for a second. “Listen, let me ask you something.”
“Go ahead.”
“Why do you do this shit? Why do you fuck around on him time after time?”
She snickered a bit into the line. Not in the way that would indicate the she thought there was any humor in the situation, more like she laughed to keep from crying. Then she answered. “Cory, to be honest with you, I don’t know why. I have always been promiscuous. I love sex.”
I listened and thought about some of the things that Brendan had told me over the years about their sexual antics. She went on into a short explanation of how she came to be the slut that she was. “Cory, when I was twelve, my next-door neighbor’s son, Ralphy, was in the army. One time he came home for a month. The nigga was like twenty-one and fine as hell. All of us little girls would sit out front and dream of the day we’d kiss a boy who looked like him. One day when he was out front cutting the grass, I walked up to him and told him I wanted him to be my first. He laughed, thinking that it was a joke. When I didn’t budge, he realized that I was serious. He told me to come over the next morning after his folks left for work. I remember getting up at seven as soon as my parents left for work. I waited patiently on the steps for his parents to leave. His mother’s car was barely down the street before I was at his door. As soon as I made it inside his house he was all over me. I was scared at first, too excited to stop him. By the time he finished, my body felt strangely satisfied.” I noticed that her voice trailed off a bit but she continued, “I went back almost every day until he left to go back on duty. The truth is he turned my twelve-year-old ass out. After that it was on. I was never satisfied. I became known as the fast ass of the hood. Once my body filled out, the attention I received was overwhelming. I got used to going from one boy to the next. Most people would say that basically I became a freak or whatever, but to them I say at least I became one on my own terms.”
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