From already missing her.
But she’s gone, and I have a business to run. So I schedule a mid-morning mandatory meeting with the men at the shipyard and hurry to shower and dress to make it there on time.
This is my life. This is what’s important. Kate was just a pleasant distraction. It’s time to get back to business.
***
“I don’t give a fuck. I want it done. Today. Understood?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Good.” I hang up and bring up an email, just as Savannah and Declan saunter into my office.
“I see you’re just your usual puppies and rainbows self,” Declan says dryly, as he lowers himself into a chair, a smirk on his face.
“What do you want?”
“We want to talk to you,” Savannah says. She folds her hands in her lap, sitting straight in the chair, head high, the way she always does. But her eyes are sad, and that kills me.
“How are you, bebe?” I ask her softly.
“Worried about you,” she replies.
“Alright.” I sit back in my chair and rub my fingers over my mouth. “What’s up?”
“We’ve come to point out that you’re back to your old asshole ways,” Declan says.
“How would you know?” I ask with a raised brow. “You haven’t spoken to me in two weeks.”
“And I’d rather not speak to you now either, but Van talked me into it.”
“Since you’re talking to me, would you like to explain why you’d rather not?”
“Because you’re a fucking dick, and you made Kate cry.”
“What?” I scowl at them both. “I haven’t spoken to Kate since she left two weeks ago.”
“Oh, we know,” Savannah replies. “And you’re back to your BK attitude.”
“BK?”
“Before Kate.”
“Is this an intervention?” I ask with a laugh, and immediately wish for a glass of bourbon.
“Yes, if you’d like to call it that,” Van replies. “It’s an asshole intervention.”
“Noted. You can see yourselves out.”
“You don’t even want to know if she’s okay?” Declan asks incredulously. “No, so, how’s Kate?”
“So, how’s Kate?”
His jaw and fists clench, but before he can say anything else, Savannah jumps in. “She’s…fine.”
What the fuck does that mean?
“Why did you let her leave?” Savannah asks.
“I have a better question,” Dec interrupts. “Why did you fuck Cindy while Kate was twenty feet away, worried about you, wondering when you were coming back?”
I blink at my siblings, not exactly computing what the fuck they’re saying.
“Excuse me?”
“Cindy? Gabby’s slutty friend? The woman that Kate and I saw leaving your townhouse as we took her luggage to the car. The leggy blonde with the big tits.”
“So charming,” Van murmurs, while she glares daggers at me.
“I didn’t fuck Cindy.” Just the thought has bile rising in the back of my throat.
“Bullshit. We saw her, Eli.”
“I don’t know what the fuck you think you saw, but I didn’t fuck her. I wasn’t home, Dec. I was at the shipyard. Jesus, I haven’t been home since I left Kate that night.”
“Wait.” Van thinks it over and then nods. “That’s right. He was at the shipyard. And what do you mean, you haven’t been home?”
What’s the point? Kate’s not there. She won’t be on her balcony with wine and pizza. Or next door listening to her music too loud. Or in my bed.
“I have work.”
“So, you’re living here? How?”
“I have clothes here. Showers. A couch. And I’m pushing thirty-one, so I can pretty much do whatever the fuck I want, little sister.”
“Are you eating?” Savannah asks, and I simply sigh.
“Hello, pot, I’m kettle. Have you seen you lately? Your clothes are hanging off of you.”
“We’re not talking about me,” she says defensively.
“You never answered why you let her leave,” Declan says quietly. “You didn’t ask her to stay.”
“Her job was finished.”
“You love her,” Savannah reminds me softly. “You told me you love her so much you can’t breathe.”
And I haven’t taken a deep breath in two weeks.
“You hurt her!” Declan exclaims.
“I don’t deserve her!” I shout back. “What am I going to offer her? You’ve said it yourself, I’m an asshole. I’m consumed with my job. This,” I gesture to my office, “is what I eat, sleep, breathe, fuck. I made a promise to Dad that I’d get my shit together and focus on this family and this company, and that’s what I’m doing! No woman wants to take second place to a job!”
“Eli, Dad wouldn’t want you to give up love for this company,” Savannah says. “You don’t have to put the company above anyone you love on your priority list.”
“Daddy never made us feel like we were second place. He sure as fuck never made Mama feel that way. They were a team, E,” Dec says quietly. “You have so much more to give than that.”
I stare at Dec for a moment. “What did you say?”
“You have so much more to give.”
“You need to take responsibility for your actions, son. Beau is going to need your help with the company. The family needs you. You have so much more to give this life than what you’ve been giving it. Riding along, screwing every pretty thing in a skirt, is not the way to live your life.
“The love of one good woman is worth more than all of those tarts combined. What your mama and I have had for the past thirty-five years? You can’t buy it. You can’t drink enough to fake it. It’s soul-deep. I love her so much I can’t breathe, Eli. Even when she makes me want to strangle her tiny little neck. She makes me feel so much. She gave me six amazing children. She makes me laugh.
“I want that for you. You are capable of so much in this life, Eli. I want you to love what you do. I know you’re going to make our company better than I ever did. But more than that, I want you to fall in love. Have babies. Love her so much you can’t breathe.”
“But, you know what?” Declan continues as I blink hard, coming out of that moment with my dad that I’d forgotten. “It doesn’t matter. Kate’s not hard to please, Eli. All she’s ever wanted was someone to be kind to her. To love her. To be someone she can trust to protect her. Someone to fight for her.”
“And you just let her go,” Savannah agrees.
I just let her go.
“Look, man, if you don’t love her, fine. It’s not a requirement to love Kate, although how anyone could not love her, I don’t know. But calling her at 2:00 with safe travels, after everything you’d done and been through was a dick move.”
Such a fucking dick move.
“I love you so much,” Savannah says with tears in her eyes. “I saw how different you were with her. You smiled so easily. You were tender with her. It was the Eli that hasn’t been around in a long time. And now that she’s gone, so is he. And I miss him.”
“I’ll let her know that we misunderstood about Cindy,” Declan says, as he and Van stand to leave.
“No.” I shake my head as they both spin around to stare at me.
“What? Why?” Savannah says.
“I’ll tell her.” I swallow hard and stand, push my hands in my pockets, fingering the half-dollar.
“If you’re planning to call her, she won’t answer,” Savannah warns me.
“I’m going to see her.”
“She won’t want to see you,” Declan says with a smile. “I kind of wish I was gonna be there to witness this.”
“You also have a dick side,” I comment calmly. “Must run in the family.”
“Rhys is there,” Dec says. “He might try to beat the shit out of you.”
“He lives with her?”
“Yeah, they share a place, since neither of them are there often. But, come
to think of it, he has a bum shoulder. You can take him.”
“Duly noted.”
“Good luck.” Van grins, and comes around the desk to kiss my cheek. “You do deserve her. No one else does.”
I hug her tight and pray she’s right. Because living without her is pure agony.
I need her.
***
Kate and Rhys’s house is in a newer development in Denver. The homes are modest, but nice, with trim yards and enough space between houses to be comfortable.
I pay the cabbie and walk to the door, not sure what in the hell I’m going to say.
Sorry just sounds…lame.
I ring the bell and am not surprised when a tall, broad blond man answers the door.
“Yes?”
“Is Kate available, please?”
“Who wants her?”
“Eli Boudreaux.”
His nostrils flair, eyes narrow, and just when I think he’s going to slam the door in my face, he steps back, and gestures for me to come in.
“I’m Rhys,” he says and holds his hand out for mine, which I shake firmly.
“I figured,” I reply, as he leads me into a living area littered with chocolate wrappers, popcorn, and used wine glasses. “Did you have a party?”
“Something like that,” he replies. “Kate has stepped out for a few minutes, which is convenient, because I’d like to have a word with you privately.”
“Okay.” I look him in the eye, ready for him to rip me a new asshole, but instead, he blows out a gusty breath and sits in the chair opposite me.
“If you’re here to fuck with her head some more, you can just get the hell out of here now. I won’t have her hurt anymore. Not by anyone. Ever again.”
“I’m not here to fuck with her head.”
He licks his lips and leans back in the chair, crossing his ankle over his knee.
“Look, Rhys, I understand that you’re protecting her, which I respect. I have three sisters, and if anyone even looks at them sideways, I want to rip into them. I don’t want to hurt Kate. I’m nothing like her ex-husband.”
“There are few people out there like her ex-husband. He’s a murdering sonofabitch motherfucker,” Rhys says matter-of-factly.
I nod, in complete agreement, when one word brings me up short.
“Murdering?” I ask, much more calmly than I feel.
“I know a lot of people don’t consider the loss of unborn life to be murder, but in this case, it was brutal murder, man.”
I frown, lost, and then the conversation from the graveyard comes to mind.
“Did he ever put you in the hospital?”
“Once.”
“Are you saying he—”
“She didn’t tell you,” he mutters and curses, pushing his hand through his hair. “Yes, he did.”
“I know that he hurt her.”
Rhys lets out a humorless laugh.
“Yes, he hurt her. He used her for a punching bag. For sport.” He clears his throat and has to stand to pace the living room. “Look, this is her story to tell, but I’m going to tell it anyway, because you need to know what she had to overcome just to let you close enough to touch her, man.
“That fucker smacked her around regularly. Not usually in the face to leave bruises, or when I was in town, because he’s a spineless asshole. But then she got pregnant.”
I swallow hard, hating the words about to come out of his mouth, and feeling so fucking helpless it’s almost crippling. I also stand and pace, unable to sit.
“She thought the baby would make him change.” Rhys shakes his head. “Men like that don’t change.”
“No. They don’t.”
“So, she pissed him off one day. I don’t know how. Sometimes all it had to do was rain for him to hit her. He knew she wanted that baby.” Rhys stares at me, blinking hard. “All I know for sure is that he kicked her in the stomach, repeatedly, then threw her down the stairs. He made her miscarry, at fifteen weeks. It wasn’t an easy miscarriage. She was in the hospital for a week.”
Once.
“Please tell me that fucker is in jail,” I say through the hot, burning rage boiling in my gut. “Because, if he isn’t, I’m going to fucking kill him.”
“He is. For now.” Rhys’s smile is cold. “And when he gets out, you’ll have to get in line. So, I’m going to ask you, right now, what your intensions are with Kate, and you’d better be brutally honest with me.”
“I love her. I’m not leaving here without her.”
“Not good enough.”
I raise a brow. “Love isn’t good enough?”
“No.” He shoves his hands in his pockets. “It isn’t.”
I mirror his stance, hands in pockets, in a stand-off with the man protecting my girl.
I like him.
“She scares the fuck out of me.”
“Now we’re getting somewhere.” His lips quirk. “If she didn’t scare you a little, she wouldn’t be the one for you.”
“I will take my own life before I ever even think about hurting her in any way. I’m not saying I won’t be an idiot and say things that I’ll regret, but I would never intentionally hurt her, Rhys. I’d never touch her in anger. She’s…everything.”
He studies me for a long moment, and then finally nods. “Okay. I like you.”
“They didn’t have the milk and cookies ice cream flavor, so I got chocolate chip cookie dough,” Kate announces, as she comes in the house through the entrance to the garage, lugging plastic grocery bags. “And you can stop judging me right now, Rhys O’Shaughnessy, because I deserve ice cream.” She sets the bags down on the kitchen island, then looks up, and her eyes go wide when they land on me.
Fuck, she looks amazing.
“Someone came to see you,” Rhys says.
“And you can show him out,” she says to her cousin, and turns to march out of the room. “I don’t have anything to say to him.”
“Looks like this is going to be a challenge,” he says, and claps his hand on my shoulder. “And something tells me few things are a challenge for you these days.”
I smile and walk after her.
“I love a challenge.”
Chapter Twenty-One
Earlier that day…
Kate
“Seriously? Weren’t you in this exact spot, doing exactly this, when I went to bed last night?” Rhys is standing over me, hands on his lean hips, frowning down at me. I’m lounging on the couch, eating stale popcorn.
“What? I’m in the middle of a season of Vampire Diaries.”
“How many seasons have you watched in the past three days?”
“Four.” I scowl up at him. “I finished with Orange Is the New Black.”
“Kate, you haven’t eaten real food in days. And you smell…ugh.”
“Then don’t come in here.” I stick my tongue out at him and return to my show. “By the way, Damon is hot in this show. Why are the hot guys always the jerks?”
“I’m a jerk?”
“You’re not hot.” I smirk and then squeal when he takes my popcorn away and sits at the opposite end of the couch with it. “Give it back!”
“No.” He shoves a handful in his mouth, and then spits it back out again. “This is disgusting. When did you pop it?”
“I don’t know.” I shrug and reach for the Twizzlers. “Two days ago?”
“Now you’re just being gross.”
“I’m being lazy,” I correct him, and cringe inwardly. I am gross. I do smell. I haven’t washed my hair in a week. I don’t remember what my own bedroom looks like because I haven’t left the downstairs since I got home.
Not that I’m going to admit that to him.
“So, what’s up with that chick, Elena?” he asks, pointing to the screen. “She’s hot for a vampire.”
“She’s not a vampire. Well, her doppelganger is.” I catch him up on the show, giving him the highlights, and sigh when the credits roll. “This is seriously good TV.”
&nbs
p; “Kate?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m worried about you.”
“Why? Because I love the Vampire Diaries?”
He raises a brow and stares at me like I’m stupid. And I’m not stupid.
“There’s no need to worry. I’m just taking some lazy time between jobs, that’s all.”
“You’re sad,” he says softly. “I can’t stand it when you’re sad. Have you talked to him at all?”
I shake my head no. “I don’t want to hear from him.”
“Maybe you should call him,” he suggests.
“Maybe not,” I reply.
“You’re being stubborn.”
He fucked another woman while I was right next door, pining for him! I’m so not telling Rhys that. Talk about humiliating.
But the most humiliating part? I know this. I know it, and I still miss him so much it hurts.
Because I’m a stupid girl.
And I’m sick of being stupid. And sad. And…smelly.
“You know what?” I say and stand, stretch, and ignore him when he winces at the smell of me. “You’re right. I’m done sitting on the couch. I’m going to go take a shower and go to the grocery store.”
“Good, you could use some sun. You’re as pale as those vampires on that show.”
“You know, you used to be nice to me. You used to love me.”
“You used to smell good,” he replies with a grin and crosses his arms as I saunter by. “Take a shower, and I’ll love you again.”
“Conditional love.” I tsk tsk as I walk by. “There aren’t supposed to be strings attached to love, Rhys. Maybe that’s why you can’t keep a girlfriend.”
“I don’t want to keep a girlfriend,” he replies with a laugh. “Girlfriends expect stuff from you.”
“Yes,” I agree sarcastically, “like kindness and cuddle time and sex.”
“Hey, I can handle those things. Especially the sex.”
“Ew.”
“But not the other strings like commitment and all of my time and nosing into my financial business.”
“And monogamy.”
He just smiles and I make puking noises as I walk upstairs to my room. I love Rhys. He always makes me feel better.
The shower feels amazing. I stay in long enough to wash my hair three times, shave my legs, and drain all of the hot water.
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