by Wood, Lauren
“You heard me. I was talking very clearly and the fact that you are trying to stall the conversation, tells me all I need to know. Were you ever going to tell me?”
The truth was that I had no intention of ever telling Dominic. It was something that he didn't need to know. That was all the past.
“You know that I've known Scott for a very long time Dominic.”
“Yes, and I have always thought that it was a friendship sort of situation. He loves you like a love-struck puppy and you never gave him the time of day. I figured that Scott was put in the friend zone along time ago.”
“It wasn't exactly like that. I don't really want to talk about this over the phone. Do you want to meet somewhere?”
I really didn't want to meet with him, and I certainly didn't want to talk about this, but I knew I didn't have a choice. For one reason or another, Scott had decided to tell him our little secret and now I was going to have to deal with it. I was going to deal with Scott soon enough. I can't believe that he did this.
Dominic told me that he did not want to meet. He said that he was busy, and he had some last-minute trim work to check out. He wanted to meet up later today and that told me that I was going to be sitting here, stressing about it the rest of the time. I would rather get it over with. But that didn't seem to be an option.
“I want to know everything Blair. There are too many secrets between us.”
I agreed with him, but there was a part of me that worried about how this was going to play out. While I knew that Dominic wasn't the one, we had been together for quite some time. It was going to be hard to tell him the truth, especially when it might hurt him. It was the last thing I wanted to do.
I got off the phone with Dominic and I made a point to call Scott. I told myself that I was going to try and put some distance between us, because it was too complicated. And I know that it wasn't an option. He was making sure that he stayed relevant and I wanted to know why.
I waited through several calls and the ringing ended up getting on my nerves. It was becoming clear that he wasn't going to answer the phone and I was going to have to track him down. Maybe I was going to have to go to his job. It was something that I did want to do, but at the moment I wasn't going to just let this go.
I had to know why in the world, Scott would tell my boyfriend that we were past lovers. It just boggled my mind.
When I got to his office, his assistant told me that he was busy, but I insisted on waiting. There was no way that I was just going to let him get out of this because he had business. I had work to do too, but I was sitting here worried about him. I wanted to know at least why he told my boyfriend about us being together. I also needed to know what all he told him, so that my truth could be measured to that. There were some things that people didn't need to know about us.
“I am sorry, Mr. Vander has back to back meetings all day. Are you sure that I can't take a message? I hate you having to wait here all of this time, for nothing.”
“You tell your boss to get out here or I'm going to walk into the conference room, and I don't care who's in there. I am sure he knows why I'm here and I guarantee that he doesn't want to spread this kind of business in front of his clients and his work companions.”
The small, mouse-like women started to say something, but she pressed her lips together into a fine line and agreed that she would be back in a moment. I don't know how long she had worked with Scott, but I would imagine she knew how he was with women. She most likely thought that I was just one of the many that he paraded around. I needed her to that I wasn’t one of them.
I sat down on the small, burnt orange loveseat that was in the waiting room and crossed my legs, trying to stop the tapping of my feet. It was one of my nervous ticks and I didn't want Scott to know that I was nervous. He had done this for a reason, and I wanted to know what it was. I thought about our last conversation together and none of it made any sense.
“He will be right out to see you.”
I bet.
I thanked her, but I also had a smile on my face that told her, ‘I told you so’. He knew I was here, and he knew I was going to be upset.
I didn't have to wait much longer before I heard my name. I looked up and saw Scott. I forgot for a moment how well he could wear a suit. It fit him perfectly and my eyes rolled over his wide chest and broad shoulders. The large biceps that strained when he moved just right.
“Do you want to follow me into my office?”
“If that's where you want to do this Scott.”
He reacted with a funny look on his face and I just smiled back at him. It was the same one that I sent to his assistant. There was more going on than what it meant and even though he was smiling at me like he always did, I knew that there was more behind that smile than he was letting on.
As soon as we got into the room, I started in. There was no need for pleasantries, and I didn’t have the patience anyways.
“What did you tell Dominic?”
His face fell.
“Yeah, I figured you’d be here soon to talk about that. You know that it wasn’t my intention to ever tell him about us.”
“It was in the past, so I don’t know why you would go out of your way to tell him something like that? I know you don’t like him, but why would you do this to me?”
“I didn’t mean to say anything, really. And I certainly didn’t search him out. I haven’t in the three years that you two have been dating. I have stayed out of it all this time, and I didn’t want to get into it now. He came to see me.”
I couldn’t believe that he was so calm about it. This was a disaster. He should know that it was, but somehow, he’d figured out that there was nothing wrong with letting it all out.
“Why would he do that?”
“I don’t know. He says that you’re acting strange and it has to be my fault. I’m the one getting dragged into all of this. You have to know that it was going to come out one day. It was the past, but a lot of our past.”
“How much does he know?”
I couldn’t argue with him about why it happened. I had to find out what all had been said, so that I would know what needed to be admitted to.
“I said too much Blair, I’m sorry…”
I didn’t like the beginning of that sentence. I knew that I wasn’t going to like the rest of it either.
Scott
This was something I knew was going to happen. I knew that I’d said too much, but Blair coming to me with anger in her eyes, happened a whole lot faster than I thought possible. There was nothing akin to forgiveness in her eyes, not at all. She was pissed and I knew that there was something I was going to have to say and do, to make this right. I wanted to explain to her that I was just rushed with all of it and I had said the first thing on my mind.
I wasn’t going to say all of those things, but then Dominic had made it out like she’d never choose someone like me and that had pissed me off. Dominic didn’t know who I was, just who I was with Blair and that man had always been a little different. I would always be different with Blair. I was softer and more lenient with her. I put up with a lot and short of painting my toenails, I would do about anything for her. He saw that and figured that I was weak. I had to say those things to prove to him that I wasn’t.
“Come on Scott. You’ve already said too much. He wants to meet for dinner, and I need to know what you said.”
“So that you can line stories up?”
“No, so that I know how much damage control I have to do. This is a disaster Scott. Why would you say anything to him? So, what if he came to your office? You could have denied it and he would have walked away.”
“He pissed me off, okay? You know that I have a temper and he was talking like I couldn’t have a girl like you.”
“So, you decided to tell him that you already had had a girl like me?”
“Basically.”
It wasn’t my best moment, but a part of me was happy it was out. Now I didn’t have to h
ide my feelings.
“You’re ridiculous Scott. I can’t believe you would stoop to that level.”
“Why doesn’t he know?”
“Because he’d never let us be friends if we knew that we were ex-lovers. I’m hoping that I can salvage this. How much did you tell him?”
I sighed because I hadn’t thought of that. I hadn’t thought past trying to piss him off and possibly getting him out of the way. No part of me had thought about what would happen if she picked him, instead of me.
“Blow him off and we’ll talk about it tonight Blair.”
“I can’t. We have to go out, especially after the whole birthday fiasco.”
“Why does it matter tonight?”
She smiled like I was being silly. “Because it’s Valentine’s Day. He’d kill me if he knew that I was even talking to you today, let alone in your office.”
I had completely forgotten. It was easy to do that when love was so far off of my radar. I had too many things to do and not near enough time to do it in. How could I be worried about something like Valentine’s Day?
“Fine, meet me for lunch, my place or yours and we can talk about this. I have to go back into that meeting, or my company is going to lose a lot of money. Just come by later and we’ll work this out.”
Blair didn’t trust me, it was written all over her face and if I was honest with myself, she really shouldn’t. I wasn’t here to make it better with her man. I was done waiting around. That part had been true. She was going to be mine and the spirit of the holiday was suddenly taking over.
“Okay Scott, but I won’t be able to stay for too long. I have my own work to do, but I had to come over here and have it out with you first.”
Her comment made me grin. “Of course, Blair. And I wouldn’t have you any other way. I love that most people think you’re quiet, but you’ve never been that way with me.”
“It’s just easy to tell you off Scott.”
She left and I was in my office for several moments, wondering again what had happened. She tended to make a man wonder and I was not immune to it at all. Either way, this was my chance. If Dominic was going to pop the question, it was going to be tonight. I had to get my hooks in her before that could happen.
I finished up the meeting that she put me out and made my way home not long after that. There was no way that I was going to be able to sit through another meeting about someone's ad campaign when I really didn't care. I made sure that my assistant made it worth their while and set them up with dinner, hotels and tickets for the night. It would all be worth it in the morning and it was worth it for me to get that chance with her. I had to take it.
There was only another half an hour before Blair is going to be here and I wanted everything to be perfect. We have known each other so long and we have been friends most of that time. I had learned more about her as her friend, then we’d ever shared when we were dating. Friendship had brought us a new intimacy that I was hopeful would help me out in the future with her.
I didn't have time to go all out like I wanted to, but I stopped and got a gift, as well as some take out for lunch. I got her favorite from the restaurant where we had gone on our first date. I picked out some music that we made love to so many years ago and I started to light candles around the living room to set the mood
I pulled the curtains to make it darker and turned most of the lights off. It was romantic and hopefully, it would be what was needed to jump start what was happening between the two of us. It had been simmering for years and it was time to take it to another level. Where we should have been in the first place.
There wasn't enough time to do much more than that and I didn't even get a chance to change, before she was ringing the doorbell. I had to shake the nerves out of me. It was strange that I still had them after all this time. The kisses that we had had recently, changed everything between us and now I was ready to move on. But they didn't mean that it was something that I wasn't worried about.
I went to the door and smiled at Blair. She wasn’t wearing the same thing that she been wearing earlier, it was a flirty dress and I could envision pulling it off of her. It was a nice thought and it put a smile to my face that was a little bigger than before.
“Come in Blair. I hope you're hungry. I got some Florentine for us. I know it’s been a while since you’ve been to Martarano’s.”
She smiled at me and there was a moment that everything was behind us. The past was no longer the past and the idea that she would be in my future and presence was even more ideal. How could she make me feel everything, from just smile?
Blair walked in and made a comment about how dark it was in the living room where I had lunch set up. I would have liked it to be a dinner date, but I had to work with the parameters given and it was going to be right here.
“It’s bright right now. Had to pull the blinds so that it wouldn’t be in our eyes. You don’t mind, do you?”
She was eying the candles, but she didn't say anything. I'm sure that something was on her mind, but Blair always knew when to keep her mouth shut. She was far better at it than I was.
We both sat on pillows on the floor, after taking off our shoes. It had always been her favorite place to have dinner and like everything else about this lunch, I wanted to bring back the past feelings. I wanted her to feel it like I did.
Sometimes when she looked at me fleetingly, I could see the need was back in her eyes for me, but it was always gone so quickly. Now it was time for it to come out for good. We were meant to be together and she was just playing herself, if she thought that there is anything lasting between her and Dominic. He was just holding my spot.
For several minutes, neither one of us said anything. I was worried about watching her as slickly as I could, and she was worried about the pasta in front of her. I was always something that I never really understood about Blair. It’d been staring at her all this time and she didn't even seem to notice.
“So, let's talk about what happened between you and Dominic.”
“Let's talk about what he knows.”
“Right.”
“What did you tell him?”
“Not much. Just that we were together a long time ago.”
There was a big point that I had made, and it was something that I didn't want to have to say out loud back to Blair. This whole setup could turn into a disaster, if I didn't handle this the right way. Sometimes she wasn’t as forgiving as she liked people to believe she was. I didn't know if she was going to be able to forgive me for this and I tried desperately to get us back at least to a place where she wasn’t going to hate me over it.
“So that's all you told him, is that we were together a long time ago?”
“Yeah that's it. I don't know why he would bring it up to you. He knows that it was a long time ago and I think he was just being jealous.”
She smiled at my answer and I was glad that she wasn’t mad. There was a little bit that I was leaving out, but if I said so right now, it would ruin the moment. This moment was all we had.
“Well if that is all that was said, I guess I can't be too mad. I was worried that you’d let it all slip.”
She would be, but it was good to know that she was able to let it go. I hoped she felt that way, when she found out what else I told Dominic about us.
“Like I said before, I know that I shouldn’t have said anything. I really am sorry that it came out. He was just acting so damn cocky and you know how I get sometimes.”
“I do Scott. That's why I'm not going to hold it against you.”
“Well thanks for that. You know that I never want to cause you any pain.”
“I know Scott. And I do recognize what you're doing here. These are all our things.”
“I just thought it might be nice to go down memory lane for a little while.”
From the look on Blair’s face after she relaxed, it felt like she was enjoying it as well.
Blair
That was what I was afrai
d of. He was bringing up the past and bringing it in front of us. Was he hoping that something would happen like before? What would that even look like?
And why was I even thinking about it?
“Well the past is supposed to stay in the past.”
“Does it have to? Sometimes revisiting something that worked so well before, could be a good thing. How could it be anything else?”
He was moving over to my side of the table and moved the table back so that he could sit next to me.
“Talking about it, makes me think about all of the times that we had together. We had a lot of good times and I miss that about us. We were good together, in all ways.”
The fact that he was so close and the words that he was talking, I wasn’t able to ignore him quite like I wanted to. I wanted to tell him that it would never happen again. I was with Dominic, but I couldn’t manage to get it out. He was staring at my lips and I wanted him to kiss me. We were there, talking about my boyfriend, and I was looking at him like I wanted that to be him. How had I forgotten how good we were together? We had been the power couple and what was wrong with doing that again?
“Yes, we were. But this isn’t the past anymore and we’re not in college.”
“No, we’ve both went on to make something of ourselves, just like we said we would do. We have done what we set out to do. What could be better than that?”
He was so close, inches from me and all I wanted was for him to move the last few inches and to take his lips against mine. It was all that I wanted, and he wasn’t making a move. That was the problem with Scott. He could never make the move.
“You’re right, we have both moved on and did what we set out to do. We made it. Yay.”
I started to lean back, because I knew there was no point. Whatever was between us so long ago, didn't exist anymore. We were different people and it was becoming clear that we wanted very different things. He wanted to play games and I was trying to move on with my life.