by KC Klein
Before Cole had even looked behind him, he knew she was there. His awareness of her had ceased to amaze him long ago, and now he just took the tingle in his blood for what it was. He’d gripped the metal edges of his truck to keep himself from turning around.
He forced himself to calm his crazy breathing and try to remember rational thought. He focused on the inside of his truck’s hood—the dirt and grease caked a long-ago paint job. But in his mind’s eye he saw Katie.
The overhead light had not been his friend. The glow had picked up every soft highlight in her dark hair as it rose natural and unruly behind her. He knew she hated her hair—she’d said so often enough—but he loved it, loved the wildness and unpredictability of it. He’d almost drowned in the scent of the waves of brown once, and now the thought of touching it frightened him.
But it was her shirt that had him clutching his truck like a damn lifeline. The thin white cotton clung to her skin so he could see the darkened color of her nipples. The neckline swooped low showing just a hint of cleavage. But if she bent over—knowing from when he’d caught sight of her virginal white bra, which had haunted his dreams for months—it would gap and reveal much more.
And now, there was no bra. His mouth watered in anticipation.
“Why the hell are you here, Katie?” God, it didn’t even sound like him; he was surprised he could even talk through clenched teeth.
“I’m eighteen now.”
“I’m aware of that fact, but you’re still a child and it’s way past your bedtime.”
A deeper hush fell over the already quiet night.
“Turn around, Cole,” she said.
He could hear the tears in her voice, and it destroyed any chance he had at pretense. Not to mention he felt like an idiot talking to his truck’s engine.
Desperate, he made a play for pity. “I’m drowning here, Katie,” he whispered.
“Don’t worry,” she said, her voice small, but sure. “I’ll save you.”
Cole cursed and hung his head. He should’ve known better; Katie never let him off that easy. She didn’t understand resolve or fear. He was the only one out of the two people standing here who was burdened with foresight. There was no such thing as a happy ending. Not in his life, not where he lived.
But in the end, he was just a man. So he steeled himself and turned.
It sucked when reality was even worse than fantasy. Worse or better, he couldn’t get his mind to agree. He could see the outline of her breasts and the tightening of her nipples that shouted “yes” for the world to see. He cut his gaze to her face. Her skin was scrubbed free of any makeup, but flushed. Lips full and wet, since she kept licking them, parting them with her tongue. Her eyes were dark brown pools of whiskey, and the need rolling off of her would’ve had a lesser man claiming her on top of the dirt and hay.
Katie watched as Cole slowly turned, and at the sight of his bare chest, smooth and ripped with muscle, she locked her knees to keep upright. Instead of his inviting smile, there was a hardness she rarely saw that contrasted with the desire in his eyes.
Cole stood and stared. The silence between them crackled as if a whole conversation could be said without words.
Her breathing quickened as her nipples contracted into small, tight buds, sensitive to the brush of the cotton across them. She refused to hide her body’s reaction even as a flush of heat rushed to her cheeks. She’d been waiting all of her life for this moment. She was tired of hiding. She was ready. Unashamed, she gazed in his eyes and let the wealth of her feelings pour into her face.
Cole was no coward—he returned stare for stare—but she could see his jaw flex and knew he was pissed. She’d pushed him hard, but this was where the women separated themselves from the girls.
“I’m not a child any longer.” She took a step closer.
“And I told you, if you wear that shirt again, I’ll burn it,” he growled.
But Cole would have to do more than display a little anger to scare her. Before she lost courage, Katie crossed her arms and pulled.
She threw her shirt in his face, along with her challenge. “Go ahead and do it.”
Chapter 14
There Katie stood, bold and fearless in her challenge. Naked from the waist up, breasts begging to be touched.
Everything slowed as his world narrowed to the progression of Katie’s fingers. Her hand, barely a brush against her skin, skimmed between her breasts. Then lower down her stomach. Blood pounded in his head as he watched her fingertips flutter to a stop on the button of her jeans.
His gaze clouded. One moment they both stood apart, and in the next, his hands were on the soft denim as he cupped her bottom and lifted her to him. And thank you, Lord, Katie read his mind because her legs wrapped around his hips and locked him in. And . . . and he needed a wall. He’d built this barn from the ground up with his dad, and he couldn’t remember where one damn wall was. There, finally.
With Katie’s back against the wall and her body flush against him, his mind exploded. Skin on skin. Mouth against the sweetest satin of her throat. And he was drowning, but this time he’d gladly give his last breath if only he could stay forever, right here, right now.
A warning hummed. Don’t kiss her. Don’t kiss her.
But his body had trouble catching up with his brain, and it couldn’t find one bloody reason not to. He wanted a taste, wanted to steal those sweet sighs from her mouth with his own. Instead, he lifted her higher, putting his mouth level with her breasts. She was so light, no challenge to his strength, but a primal part of him didn’t want to remember to be gentle, to be soft.
Cole ached with the need to take her, to make her his once and for all. She was willing. God knew she was willing.
The graceful curve of her breasts brushed his cheek, and he rasped his whiskers against her silky skin. Katie’s inhale was as sharp as it was sweet. Her dark nipple puckered even more, begging to be put in his mouth and loved on. He’d never been so close to the edge, but his will had been forged in the flames of pain, loss, and hunger. He reined himself in.
He might’ve been able to still his advancements, but he couldn’t release her, not yet. So he held her instead, both trembling against a wood-splintered wall, and him with his lips touching the delicate bone between her breasts. He couldn’t help himself, and opened his mouth against her hot skin. He tasted her—the saltiness of her damp skin, and the shiver as it spread across her body like a ripple in a glassy pond.
If he moved, even a little, he’d break. He needed to catch his breath and recall why he had to let go and step away before it was too late. But Katie would have none of it. She laced her fingers through his hair, pulling his face upward. “Kiss me, Cole.”
He closed his eyes, breathed in her essence, and tried to remember how to open his arms and release her.
“Cole, what do you need me to say? That I lie in bed at night and . . . burn.”
“Don’t.” He was damn near crazy, and she was trying to make him forget. Forget things like honor and respect. Forget how wrong this was. And may God forgive him, he wanted to forget . . . everything but Katie.
Her breasts were too much of an invitation. Knowing if he allowed himself the pleasure, he’d gladly go under for the last time, he shifted her body and nuzzled her neck instead. Her taste mingled with the scent of her skin, clean like sun-dried laundry and night air. He willed his arms to let her go, but preferred how his hands cupped her bottom and fitted her more fully against him. She groaned in response and tilted her neck, permitting him full access. He knew she’d allow him anything and that knowledge fed the beast inside.
“Do you know what it’s like to burn, Cole?” Her voice rolled thick like sugared moonshine over a tall glass of ice.
And yet, her whispered words were hot against his ear, melting his resolve. Her legs wrapped around his hips, and he was white-knuckling it just to stay above water.
“Shh please, honey.” And when had he resorted to begging? Had Katie taken his pride along with his
honor?
“To wait and burn night after night?”
He couldn’t hear about her need. He shook her against the wall. Not hard, but enough for her to know this was no game. “I swear to God, I’ll take you here and now against the stable wall if you won’t be quiet.”
Her response was a simple but highly effective bold sweep of tongue along the ridge of his ear.
Then he claimed her lips. He had to, couldn’t think of a way to silence her and still that wicked mouth at the same time. There was no tentative exploration, but an open need that exploded in his brain. Honor crumpled to the wayside as the hungering beast roared forth. His hand grabbed hold of her hair and held her steady, as he taught her how a man kissed a woman—his tutelage a harsh one, no gentling, no sweet words. She had pushed, and he had shattered.
If profanities could be expressed with a kiss, his was vulgar. His mouth claimed what should’ve always been his. He ground his hips against hers, taking control of the rhythm, rocketing them both to the next level.
Meowing sobs broke through his lust haze. Must be Katie, always so damn vocal. And yet as she quivered in his arms, and clawed at his hair, he knew he had to be the rational one.
In the back of his mind he’d drawn a line. He wouldn’t take Katie here. Her first time would be with him, but something special, not in a barn under the cover of secret and shame. He’d loved her for too long.
He broke the kiss, but he couldn’t leave her like this.
“Katie, you need to listen to me.” He sounded like a man in pain, which he was. “I’ll help you, but you need to promise you’ll do exactly what I say.”
The heated gaze in her eyes was thick, but she nodded. He rested his forehead on hers, seeking a cool reprieve, but her body was like liquid fire, all heat and passion. He pulled air in from between his clenched teeth and prayed for control.
“Keep your hands around my neck. Don’t move.” If she touched him he was a goner, and even angels wouldn’t be able to drag him away from her piercing heat.
His hand shook as his fingers fumbled with her jeans button. Her breath, quick before, came in short gasps as her stomach quivered beneath his touch. He eased the zipper down.
The small murmurs she made in the back of her throat were killing him, but he blocked them out and moved his hand forward. His mouth went dry as his fingers slipped between her thighs. He knew she’d be ready, but the hot liquid that surrounded him was a surprise. She was on the cusp of a climax. It wouldn’t take much.
Katie was so tight he groaned and knew he had to end the torture quick or his control would snap. Another finger eased inside, and with his thumb, he flicked the sensitive nub above. In, out, and her body tightened around him. His lips found hers to swallow her moan as he pushed forward. She broke the kiss and arched her back as she screamed. The horses neighed, startled by the sound.
He rode the aftershocks of her climax as they pulsed around him. Finally quiet, she hung like a limp doll around his neck.
A cool wetness dampened his shoulder, but Cole already knew the reason for her tears. Her need had been bottled for so long. Katie was a passionate woman and needed a strong man. The time wasn’t ideal, but he couldn’t wait any longer. He’d always known it would come to this, but he’d thought he could put her off a few more years.
His hand came up and soothed her soft skin, easing her away from the coarse wood. She wouldn’t feel the scratches now, but later reality had a way of crashing in. Tenderly, he kissed the side of her head, her face buried in the curve of his neck. “I’ll talk to your father tomorrow.”
A sigh of relief, then Katie’s whisper, “Thank you.”
Chapter 15
Cole turned the shower knob to the far left. Today was a day to splurge. Today was a day for a hot shower.
Besides, the heat might do something about defrosting the block of ice in his belly.
He stripped and threw his dirty clothes into the corner and wrapped a threadbare towel around his waist. He ran his hand under the shower water to check, still cold. Turning, he caught his reflection in the medicine cabinet mirror. He’d marked himself up pretty good while shaving, and there was a cut on his chin that still bled.
Damn, he felt sick. If only the rolling of his stomach would calm.
Cranking on the sink faucet, Cole splashed cold water on his face. Take a deep breath. He shook his hands to bring feeling back into his tingling fingers. Another breath. Then he looked himself dead in the eye. “You can do this. You’ve got this.”
He ran his tongue over his cracked lips and swallowed hard. Then bracing himself with his hands against the hard edges of the counter, he practiced his speech. “Mr. Harris, I know this seems sudden, but I was hoping to ask . . . I mean, would you do me the honor of giving Katie’s hand . . .” No. Cole shook his head. “Stupid.”
Breathing seemed to take twice the normal effort. He rubbed his palm over his chest, digging at the tightness. “I would like to marry Katie.”
A huge exhale. There, he’d said it out loud, but for some reason it sounded even worse than in his head.
“I know what you are thinking.” Cole put his hand up to stop the imaginary objections Katie’s father would have. “You think I don’t have enough money to support a family, that I’m barely hanging in there myself. But I can make it work. I’ll pick up extra shifts on the neighboring ranches. And I know college is important to you. I promise to make sure Katie gets her degree. And yes . . . uh—” Cole swallowed again, rubbing his palm over the queasiness in his belly. “Katie’s young, but we’re in love, have been all our lives, and . . .”
His throat was so dry it was like he’d eaten a box full of sand. “If you could give me—give us—a chance, you’d make me the happiest man in the world.”
He sounded stupid. He knew he did. He’d never been good with words, but all he had was the truth.
Cole reached for the black felt box resting on the back of the toilet tank. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t looked at the damn thing about a hundred times since he’d bought the ring this morning, but he couldn’t help himself and gave the lid a quick flip. A solitary diamond winked back at him. Mocking. As if.
Weakness was so not an honorable quality in a man. Disgusted, Cole snapped the lid shut and placed it back down. He scrubbed his hands over his face. “Get a grip, man.”
Splashing another round of cold water on his now hot cheeks, he tried to gather the tattered remains of his self-respect. The only thing worse than a lovesick fool was a fool in love.
And his actions had been nothing but foolish starting with last night. Every logical part of his brain chastised himself for taking it so far with Katie. He should’ve put her off, tried harder to say no, but of course those thoughts fell stone-cold dead against the soaring of his heart.
It was like his brain wasn’t even weighing in with any of his decisions, especially since he’d made a sizable dent in his bank account purchasing the ring. He knew Katie well enough, and she would’ve been just as happy with something simpler, but some loser pride had him picking out a larger setting.
Self-delusion was so not cool, but he’d wanted to prove he could take care of his wife. Even if he had to live on a frayed shoestring budget to do so.
The steam from the shower fogged up the mirror, and with one swipe, he cleared a path. “Come on, Cole. This is going to work out. Not everything in your life has to turn to utter crap.”
Besides, James loved him like a son, had told him so numerous times. What more could a doting father ask than to have his only child marry and live next door?
Cole smiled, and for the first time since waking up, it felt genuine. What was Katie always telling him? You are what you think, Cole.
She was right. He could turn his life around. And with Katie by his side, things could only get better.
“I’m sorry, son, but the answer is no.”
Cole heard a low roar. A pounding surf. Except, there was no ocean in Texas so it must be inside his he
ad.
Sick. I’m gonna get sick.
Cole closed his eyes. He couldn’t focus, couldn’t look at the older man whose stance he mirrored. Years of evening talks and morning coffee breaks had each man placing a booted foot on a peeling wood fence. But this time, both faced forward and stared down the approaching dawn.
This wasn’t right. This was not happening.
Maybe James hadn’t heard Cole correctly. Maybe when Cole had asked for Katie’s hand it had come out as something else altogether. In his head it seemed right, but he still stumbled and groped for words. He’d try again, this time clearer. This time he’d do the asking right. “Sir, I’m sorry, let me try again. I want to marry Katie, make her my wife.”
There he’d said it. No stumbling this time.
“Son, I heard you the first time. And I’m sorry, my answer’s still no.”
The roaring in his head grew to deafening levels.
“It’s not . . . as if . . . you’re not . . . my son.”
Fool, such a fool. Like you ever had a chance.
He knew there was more to what James was saying, but he couldn’t hear, not when blood pounded like a storm in his brain. Breathe, breathe, he kept repeating as he watched the early morning sun glisten against the dewy grass like a meadow full of spent tears.
“Katie . . . wouldn’t . . . money . . . love you.”
His hands tingled. He couldn’t feel the tips.
A blossom tumbled across the toe of his boot, and he was sure the scent of jasmine lingered in the air, if he could just remember how to inhale again. He couldn’t rest his gaze, and so it darted from a single-file line of ants to the way the grass grew tall and uneven around the fence posts.
“It’s . . . money . . . too important.”
Pain. Something sharp was eating at his heart. He wanted to claw at his chest, rip out the hurt, but instead he laced his fingers together and leaned his forearms against the rail. How many low blows would it take for him to realize life didn’t change, especially not for him?