“And you say that Mara perceived only blackness at both the event in your room and the site of Sadie’s death,” Nathan muttered.
“Yes,” Amelia said. “I don’t know what it means, but I bet that if she looked at Lucas and Isaac’s room from tonight, she’d see the same thing.”
“Nathan,” I said, “you have to tell them what you told me.”
He looked around at their faces. “Yes,” he agreed. “That’s a fairly static point. But it won’t do any good. There are… gaps. In the timelines I’ve retained. Black spots that break up the flow of events that I’m concerned with. It’s why I have to check.”
When the others rightfully wanted to know what the hell he meant by that, Nathan explained it like he had to me. Most of it, he delivered while watching Amelia, who seemed to pale a little bit over the course of it.
“So you… didn’t see who killed Sadie either,” she said when he was done.
Nathan turned his hands up helplessly. “I’m afraid not.”
“But something did happen that night,” I said, as much as it pained me to do it in front of the others. It was time for it to come out. “Nathan, when I asked you about it the first time, I know you lied to me. I don’t know about what, but I know you did. I know you well enough. What did you leave out?”
Lucas and Isaac both made fists at their sides, and Nathan noticed. He put both hands up and took a seat slowly on the edge of his bed. “It isn’t necessary to beat it out of me,” he muttered. “I kept some details to myself because they didn’t concern the matter at hand, that’s all. That night, after I left the Cabin, I… lost a small chunk of time. It’s happened a few times, and is a natural consequence of the procedures I underwent to repair the damage to my mind and memories, as well as the presence of so many timelines in my mind. I get… lost in them, from time to time, and have to recenter. During that time, retaining new memories is difficult, so I remember them as blanks.”
Amelia exhaled sharply and took a step back. Nathan rolled his eyes. “Come now,” he said dismissively, “I had nothing to do with Sadie Chapman’s death. I’m in a sort of fugue state when it happens. I wouldn’t have been capable of casting anything.”
“But you said you knew I had done it,” Amelia snapped. “You said you’d seen it!”
He shrugged. “Yes. It was necessary. And, if you had, you would have reacted accordingly.”
“Wait,” I said, confused, “wait, but… even if you can’t see the events themselves in your timelines, you had to have been able to see her reaction. So you knew she wouldn’t.”
Nathan pursed his lips and turned his eyes back to Amelia. “I saw several reactions, in fact,” he said softly. “And in some of them…”
Amelia looked to us first, as if any of us could explain Nathan’s riddles, before she looked back at him. “Well? Can you… I mean is there a timeline where you can see that I did or didn’t do it?”
Nathan was thoughtful for a long moment, probably examining timelines, or however it worked, regarding whether he could or should say anything. Or what to say to get what he wanted. I wished I knew.
When he did finally speak, it wasn’t anything that any of us wanted to hear. “All I can say,” he answered, “is that there are timelines where you are held responsible, and others where you are not.”
“That’s it?” Amelia asked. “So… so what’s going to happen to me?”
“Honestly?” Nathan said, shrugging, “I don’t know yet. But we’ll know soon enough.”
Amelia
I didn’t know when we would find out whether Nathan’s highly variable prophecy would come true or not. I tried to let go of it because of that. There were enough unknowns in my life to plague me; I didn’t need to add another sword to the collection hanging over my head. But knowing you should do something and actually doing the thing are very different things.
Path week came around, and all the freshmen were in a constant buzz about what theirs would be. I almost missed that. Not knowing. The days when it could have been anything and I wasn’t yet in Sinclaire’s grasp. Pete was the only sophomore who was included, given that he hadn’t done his freshman year at Rosewilde.
And because Serena had taken a bizarre interest in my weird roommate, I got to hear all about. All eleven or so words.
“How did it go?” she asked him in the courtyard in our usual post-lunch hangout spot. I supposed I couldn’t exactly justify any irritation at her bringing him.
“I got necromancy,” he answered. “Makes sense, I guess. Parents both do it.”
“Your parents are both necromancers?” Lucas wondered. “That explains a few things, I suppose.”
I shot him a warning look. Serena didn’t even seem to notice. She toyed with Pete’s flat hair. I supposed, under a certain light—not much of it—and from a particular angle, like… almost behind him… he was a little cute. Serena was about a foot taller than him when she wore heels, which was always, and when they were side by side it looked like she could bench press him.
But, it wasn’t to last. Serena glanced at the sun and sighed as she pecked him on the cheek. “I’ve got to get to class. Meet me afterward by the east restrooms? For a quickie.”
“Okay,” Pete said. He accepted the peck but otherwise didn’t seem all that interested.
That is, until she walked away. He watched her go, and then stared at the door she’d gone through for a while. It was fucking weird.
“We should also be going to class,” Isaac said, and helped me up from the grass. “Walk you there?”
Lucas was thoughtful a moment, looking at Pete. “Uh… anyone want to meet by the west restrooms?”
“I am not Serena,” I reminded him.
“After dinner,” Isaac suggested. “And… not at a restroom. We can hang out?”
I smiled at them both. “I’d really like that. It’ll be after class for me, though. Path week—specialty lessons are starting, which means… me and Nathan. In a room together. Summoning things. I wish I knew what was in his head.”
“I’m not convinced he’s telling us the truth,” Isaac said, running his hand over my leg. “Just be careful, hm?”
“I will,” I said. Pete was still sitting as Lucas got up. “Um… Pete, you going to be okay?”
“Hm?” Pete wondered. He looked up at us, unflinching at the sun that had to have been in his eyes. “Sure. See you later, I guess.”
We left him there, and Lucas walked with us as far as the door into the west wing. “There’s something wrong with that kid,” he muttered. “What on earth does Serena see in him? I mean, not to be mean but… well, look at him.”
Isaac and I did as we opened the door. Pete was exactly where we’d left him, just… staring.
“I kind of wonder that myself,” I admitted. “But… Serena’s, you know… Serena. Who can say?”
We parted ways after we got in. Lucas gave both of us a kiss, and gave me a pat on the ass as he held me close. “Try not to worry too much about Nathan. Tell us all about it afterward. Promise, we’ll give you plenty else to think about after, hm?”
I laughed quietly against his lips. “That would be a welcome distraction.”
Isaac and I walked arm-in-arm up to Metaphysical Anatomy. “Nothing recently, right?” he asked. “I mean, you’d tell us if there was.”
“Nothing lately,” I agreed. “Just the usual night terrors.”
He sighed, wincing at that. “I wish there was something that helped. You really should see about talking to Master Larson. You know, everything he sees is totally confidential.”
I grumbled quietly. “You and Serena.”
He stopped us at the turn into the hallway where our Anatomy class was. “Serena recommended some kind of self-care? Then you should definitely do it.”
“Isaac,” I started to shush him, but his eyes were deadly serious. “I don’t see what good it can do.”
“And you won’t,” he replied, “until you try. Just consider it for me? F
or us? And for yourself, but… it’s frustrating, not being able to help you. We worry. And, you’ve had some episodes seemingly related to these dreams getting worse. It’s worth looking into. Even if it’s just to get all the information.”
“And if Larson gets in there,” I muttered, “and finds out I’m having horrible nightmares because I’m a monster?”
Isaac kissed my forehead and pulled me close to him until my cheek pressed to his shoulder. “He won’t,” he assured me softly, “because you aren’t. Don’t let Nathan get to you, please. He’s unwell. Pete seems more sound of mind than him right now.”
I wasn’t sure how true that was, honestly. Hunter was the most vocal about it, and I had been sympathetic since school started but… after what he told us he seemed more calculating than I realized. That was scarier. A lot scarier.
“Come on,” I murmured, and tugged him toward class. “Meridians to memorize, chakras to chart, astral bodies to map.”
“A young magician’s work is never quite done,” he agreed. We were the last two into class, but at least got to sit together.
I tried to pay attention, but even having Isaac and Lucas to look forward to didn’t quite alleviate the growing anxiety I got from watching the minutes on the clock tick away.
I showed up at the workroom the Headmistress had set aside for us in the north wing precisely on time. Not a second early. I planned on leaving on time, as well.
Nathan, however, had apparently been there at least long enough to set things up. He looked over his shoulder as I entered the small room, about the size of one of the dorms but empty. For a moment, I could see what had attracted the others to him years ago. When he didn’t seem guarded, he looked less… broody and murdery. The workroom itself was just a plain room with a chalkboard on one wall, a smooth hardwood floor, and a single narrow bookshelf set into one wall. There wasn’t even a chair or desk. “Right on time. Shall we get started?”
I looked around. “Should I… take notes standing up?”
He ignored the question and finished a final few tick-marks to a complex diagram on the chalkboard that had a familiar sort of cadence to it. It was a summoning circle, but the elements were very different from what Sinclaire had been teaching me. I tried to track them but there were too many unfamiliar elements present. “What’s that lead to?”
Nathan waved the chalk. “Nothing dangerous. We’re going to start close to home and work our way out.”
“Sinclaire had kind of the opposite approach,” I said. “How do I know that’s not some kind of… portal you can kick me through.”
For a few seconds he looked at me like I might have seen through his plan. Then he chuckled quietly and shook his head. “If Sinclaire had taught you properly,” he said, “you’d know this isn’t the kind of circle that you can push a person through. Look it over. Tell me what you do see. There’s no desk because you won’t be taking notes. I’ve got more than enough notebooks full of theory, and Hayes requisitioned some books that will be here by next week. They’re coming from a repository in Serbia. Please. Pick it apart. I need to see how you’re thinking about this.”
I could have gotten closer to look at it in more detail, but the thought of getting close and letting Nathan have my back made the hairs on my arm and neck stand up. I stayed where I was by the door and worked from big broad elements down to the smaller, more specific ones. “The… square motif keeps it here, in the material world. So it’s not inter-planar. Those vectors… some kind of living thing, like an animal. I don’t know where you’re getting the angles from.”
“Work them backward,” Nathan urged, pacing back and forth along one side of the room where the bookshelf was, his head bowed. “Where’s the reference point?”
I searched but didn’t find one. “It’s missing,” I said. “You must have forgotten it.”
“Is it?” he wondered. He turned to look it over and shook his head. “Nope.”
“Well,” I grumbled as I tried to figure the degrees of the angles by sight, “without a reference point the angles don’t point to anything, they’re just… they…” I frowned as I trailed off, and almost as though I could imagine another angle, at the bottom-most point of the diagram.
“Do you see it?” he asked.
“The magician,” I muttered; it was nearly brilliant. “You’re using the magician as the reference point. So, if the top is point north then… then these lines”—I walked up to the diagram and pointed—”these must be like longitude and latitude. Coordinates. Here, on this world.”
He gave a soft grunt. “So, Sinclaire gave you a few basics. Good. What else? Keep going. The notebooks on the shelf are organized by elements if you need them.”
I wasn’t about to ask him to explain it. But the more I tried to work out exactly what the vectors must have meant, the more I started to think there was just a gap that was too large in my understanding of how the circles were constructed. I grudgingly went to the bookshelf and took out the volume on vector definition. I realized, once I started paging through them, that they were in Nathan’s handwriting. When he’d said they were his, I didn’t realize he meant they were his.
I held the notebook up. “Where was this?”
He frowned. “What exactly are you asking?”
“Last year,” I said, “Hunter, Lucas, Isaac, and I, we pored over your work. All of it, we had mountains of papers and journals, but these weren’t in them. Where were they?”
He shrugged. “They weren’t germane to that particular project. I had them in storage.”
“Here at Rosewilde?” I asked. This would have made the entire shitstorm last year much easier.
He smiled. “Work out the circle, please. If you can. When you’re ready to give up, let me know.”
I suppressed a sneer—it wouldn’t have made any difference, I was sure—and cracked open the notebook and paged through it until I found some of the relevant formulas. There was chalk in the tray at the base of the board, so I used that to solve the vectors as I went. Nathan said nothing as I worked, just watched from the sidelines. If I made a mistake, he didn’t tell me.
What I could tell, at least, was that the location pointed to was at a place in the midwestern United States, assuming I used myself as the reference point. The vectors were configured for a small living thing. The parts that normally served to open a portal, at least in the horror show that was Sinclaire’s summoning circle for an Outsider being like Az-Harad, weren’t present, which was confusing until I realized there were spatial components—this circle was meant to move something from some place to this place, but a portal wasn’t necessary.
It took an hour and a half. Almost all the allotted time for the lesson. When I finished, I put the notebook back.
“So?” Nathan asked. “What does it do?”
“It’s missing a part,” I said, firmly. “The construction requires a… receptacle. You’d have to construct one in the diagram, but if you did that, you’d throw off the vectors, which would mean the angles wouldn’t harmonize. It doesn’t do anything like it is currently.”
“Doesn’t it?” he asked. He turned to open the closet door and took a hat down from a hook. A shiny black top hat. He tossed it to me. Once I caught it he nodded back to the diagram. “Now, what do you think it does?”
I snorted, turning the hat over in my hands. I could see where it would sit in the circle and tried not to smile but it was hard. “Is it—”
“No,” he said, “don’t guess. If you’re wrong, I’ll tell you.”
Well that made it easier not to smile. I waved the hat at the chalkboard. “It’s for pulling a rabbit from a hat.”
He smiled slowly. “It is a school for magicians. We’ve got half an hour left. Chalk the diagram out, assume the topmost point is north. Once you’ve done that, we’ll work on the gestures and incantation pattern.”
“Pattern?” I asked as I set the hat aside and picked up the chalk.
“One thing you’re going to learn
quickly,” he said, “is that summoning is a more dynamic magic than any other. In some instances, there are standard semantic elements like other spells have. But, summoning is about time, and place, and these things are shifting and relative except in relation to places which are static—places that do not experience time and space, and therefore are not dynamic in relation to our plane. Those, there are ancient spells to access. But for the rest of the work, you’ll have to learn how to improvise, based on time, place, the angles of stars, the phase of the moon, our relative position to the planets—all the subtle forces that can cause things to go very, very wrong.”
I looked at the chalk in my hand, and then at Nathan, who I fully expected to be setting me up. The math didn’t lie, of course, but there had to be some angle to this. “Sinclaire… he didn’t tell me any of this.”
“You’re suspicious of my intentions,” Nathan said. He nodded. “I understand why. However, let me propose this: Sinclaire was not teaching you the fundamentals of summoning as an art. He was teaching you one specific ritual, and only the rules you needed to complete it. Sinclaire was on a timeline, he believed, and needed you to do a single task. He wanted you to paint by numbers, which is why you have no real control over your natural inclination toward this kind of magic. I am teaching you the fundamentals. For that, we start close to home and work our way out.”
“So… I do this,” I said, waving at the diagram, “and I’m going to pull a rabbit from that hat. Not some kind of monster, or… worse?”
He came a bit closer and leaned in toward me. “I suppose there’s just one way to find out. If you think you’re capable.”
Oh, I did. Even if I doubted it before, I wasn’t going to fall on my face in front of Nathan Crowley. Even if I was starting to think he was pretty to look at. “Step back, please,” I said, sneering now. “I need space to summon this fucking rabbit.”
Amelia
“And, that’s how I got this little guy,” I told Lucas and Isaac as I stroked the unbelievably soft head of the long-eared rabbit in my lap. The animal was remarkably docile. Definitely not wild. I cocked my head a little at him. “I… think I just stole a rabbit from a pet store somewhere. Hopefully not some little kid’s room. Tomorrow, he’s going to show me how to send him back. So, I guess it’s more like borrowing.”
A Spell for Shadows: Rosewilde Academy of Magical Arts Page 14