She wanted to bang her head against the wall. Her thoughts just kept going in circles.
Checking her call record, she realized she didn’t recognize the number but whoever it was had called four times. Someone wanted to reach her badly.
She hit redial. The phone rang once before being picked up.
“Jules.”
Erik. She’d recognize that voice anywhere. It had that distinctive rasp, the one that sent a shudder through her body. It held the same power as Keegan’s accent.
“Yes.” She wracked her brain for something else to say and came up blank. First Keegan, now Erik.
“How are you? Are you okay?”
No, she really wasn’t but she wasn’t going to admit that. “I’m fine. Why are you calling?”
Okay, that had sounded steady. So far, so good.
“Can you come to the house? I’d like to talk.”
“Why?”
“Because we should’ve done this the day after.”
“Are you talking about the day after you and Keegan paid me or the day after we actually had sex?”
Okay, maybe not so steady.
“Yes.”
She waited for him to say more, to say anything. He left that hang there.
The silence grew uncomfortable after several seconds and finally she couldn’t stand it anymore. “Fine. Will it just be you or will Keegan be there too?”
“Do you want Keegan here?”
“He told you what happened tonight, didn’t he?”
Erik paused. “We can talk when you get here.”
Damn him, he wouldn’t rise to her bait, to the slight sneer in her tone. Fine. “I can be there in half an hour.”
“I’ll be waiting.”
Chapter Nine
“She’s on her way.”
“Good. Apologize for me. Tell her I was a total dick.”
“You can tell her yourself. Get your ass over here.”
Through the phone, Erik heard Keegan blow out a breath. “No. She won’t want to see me. And I already started on the tequila.”
Fuck. When Keegan drank tequila, it was bad.
“Keegan—”
“No. You can handle this one. I’m fucking sick of handling shit. I’ve done enough damage for the day.”
“Shut the fuck up and get over yourself. If you really did fuck up so badly, then you need to be the one to beg her forgiveness. Don’t be even more of a dick.”
Keegan fell silent and Erik wondered if he’d pushed his friend too far. When Keegan was depressed, the guy could stay silent for days. Like, not talk at all. It made Erik want to yell in his face just to snap him out of it.
Finally he heard Keegan sigh. “Too late.”
The call went dead.
Sonuvabitch.
Erik wanted to throw the phone against the wall but managed to rein himself in. Barely. He had half a mind to drive over to Keegan’s house and drag him back before Jules arrived.
Since Keegan only lived about a mile away, that wouldn’t be a problem. It’d take Jules at least half an hour to get here. If she even showed up.
Damn it. What the hell was he supposed to say to her?
Keegan usually handled this stuff, the messy stuff with women. Erik had been the one to make first contact but Keegan had been the one to smooth everything over when Erik was a dick and blew them off after a couple of days.
Christ, he really had been an ass. He’d learned his lesson when the one girl he’d really liked had blown him off. Desiree. Beautiful girl. He’d actually thought about asking her to marry him senior year at Princeton. But she’d turned around and dumped his ass.
He’d drowned his sorrows for an entire weekend. Keegan had been the one to pull him out.
He didn’t want to fuck this up. He wanted to get to know Jules. She drew him in, like no one ever had before.
Pacing the hallway, he was glad he’d told Jane and Bill Carlson to leave early today. He’d employed Jane to take care of the housekeeping and cooking and her father, Bill, was damn handy with a wrench and a hammer. And this old house needed a lot of work.
He’d planned to do the renovations himself, had chosen the house because he loved a challenge. And this house was definitely that. He’d seen the potential right away. Keegan had laughingly called it a money pit and bought property down the road where he’d built a brand-new, modern home. Green all the way, from the cork floors to the solar panels on the roof.
How the hell he and Keegan worked so well together was still a mystery to some people. Erik knew their differences filled in the gaps in each other. Which is why Keegan needed to be here to help him fix this.
Too late.
He heard her car pull up out front. He knew it was hers because he recognized the engine noise. That deathtrap she drove should be condemned. Hell, they’d given her more than enough money to get a new car in addition to paying off her and her mother’s bills.
Probably shouldn’t bring that up.
Yeah, the money was going to fuck up everything, wasn’t it?
Didn’t it always?
He didn’t hear the bell ring as he walked to the door but he hadn’t heard the car drive away either. Which meant she was probably still in it. Talking herself out of seeing him.
He couldn’t let her do that.
His pace quickened and, by the time he got to the front of the house, he was running. Throwing open the door, he stepped onto the porch and nearly knocked her off her feet.
“Whoa. Sorry.”
He reached for her, grabbing her shoulders so she didn’t go tumbling back off the porch. She reached for him at the same time, her hands landing on his abdomen.
They ended up closer than he’d expected to get to her tonight.
And just where he wanted her. Plastered up against him.
She stared up at him, her dark eyes wide, rimmed with red.
Had she been crying?
Shit.
“Are you okay?”
He forced the words from his dry throat as he slid his hands from her shoulders to her hips, pulling her even closer.
“Yes. I’m fine.” She tried to take a step back but he wasn’t about to release her. Not yet. Maybe not at all tonight. At least, not until she heard him out. “You can let go now.”
He ignored her, holding her gaze. “What if I don’t want to?”
She blinked up at him, and he could have sworn he saw tears forming right before she sniffed and dropped her gaze.
“Well, I want you to. I agreed to talk. Not…anything else.”
He opened his mouth to tell her exactly what he was thinking—that now that she was here, she was his—and shut his mouth. Obviously, the caveman routine hadn’t gone over well with Keegan. Guess he’d have to try a different approach.
He took a step back, releasing her shoulders, and gritted his teeth when she released him as well.
“Okay then, come on in and we can talk.”
He waved her into the house. Habit had him turning away from her so she couldn’t see the full extent of his scars, letting his hair fall over his cheeks. She passed by him without a glance, waiting for him to close the door behind him before he headed down the hall.
He’d intended to take her into the library where they’d spent those hours together two weeks ago, then thought better of it.
Settle her down. Get her used to him again.
Maybe she hasn’t called because she doesn’t want to look at your hideous face again.
Turning abruptly, he headed to the kitchen. Neutral territory, he figured.
And the farthest room from the front door. If she wanted to leave, he’d at least have some time to convince her to stay before she actually got out the door.
“Have a seat.” He waved at the round oak table in the curved alcove with windows overlooking the backyard. “Do you want something to drink?”
“I’ll take some water.”
Well, she didn’t sound pissed, so that was good.
; He grabbed a bottle for her and a soda for himself, then steeled himself before he turned back to her.
She’d kept her coat on. As if she didn’t intend to stay. Not the puffy pink thing she’d worn last time, that’d hidden a ball-busting corset that made him want to beg her to let him take it off. This jacket was leather and short, stopping at the top of her tight black skirt. It hung open to expose the plain white, button-down shirt.
Her hair hung in a braid over her shoulder, the end brushing against her breast.
Yeah, looking at her breasts was probably not going to help him keep his hands off of her.
Keeping the table between them, he sat and pushed her water across the expanse. When he’d withdrawn his hand, she took it.
Now what? What the hell did he say? She wasn’t exactly giving him any openings here. Might as well just rip off the bandage.
“Keegan told me what happened. Do you want to talk about it?”
Her head popped up and those dark eyes locked onto his. “Why should I want to talk about it with you? Why exactly would I want to talk about any of this with you?” She shook her head. “You know what? This is a mistake. I never should’ve come here. Not now. Not before.”
So that’s where they stood. This quicksand was deeper than he’d thought. But now that he was standing in it, he might as well fight all the way down.
“Bullshit.”
Her mouth dropped open and her eyes widened. And the tears receded as anger built.
Good. Anger he could deal with.
“If you hadn’t wanted to talk about it, you wouldn’t be here.”
It took a few seconds but he saw her realize that he’d read her correctly. But she wasn’t happy about it and he braced for battle.
Which showed just how much he really didn’t know about her.
As he watched, the anger drained out of her. She didn’t deflate though, didn’t break down. She took a deep breath and straightened her spine.
“You’re right. I do want to talk.”
His turn to take a deep breath. “Okay. Lay it out for me. Whatever it is, just spit it out.”
Her gaze bored into his. “You didn’t call. Neither of you. And I was stupid enough to think you would.” Each word she spoke came out precisely. And cut like a scalpel. “I can’t help feeling used. Which is totally stupid. You paid me to have sex with you. And Keegan. You paid me and it was more than enough to clear out any debt my mom and I had. You knew about that. I don’t know how but I know you knew we needed the money.”
Erik was afraid to move, afraid to breathe. Every word out of her mouth was underlined with pain and each one dug into his chest like an ice pick. His brain whirred like a pinwheel in a tornado. What the hell did he say? What could he say?
Nothing, because she continued. “I was so stupid because when I left that night, I thought I’d hear from you again. I thought one of you would call. We’d do dinner. We’d— Hell, I don’t know, go to a movie. Do something normal. But this isn’t a normal situation, is it?”
She paused and he knew she was waiting for him to speak up.
“No, it’s not.” He sighed, a hard exhalation of breath that reeked of his frustration. “But you’re not stupid. Not by a long shot. I wouldn’t want you so damn badly if you were.”
Her eyes narrowed, wary and focused totally on him. And she kept silent, waiting.
“Don’t make any mistake there. I do want you. So does Keegan. He wanted to call. He wanted to call and ask you out the next day but it was Christmas Eve and you said you were spending it with your mom. Then it was Christmas and we had family commitments. And when we got back to the lab last week, we had other shit going down.”
He wasn’t about to lay that on her. That was business. This wasn’t. Never had been despite the money.
“Yeah,” he continued, “we knew about your mom’s situation. We knew you needed help. We knew we wanted to give you the money. And we both knew we wanted you in bed between us.”
“And you didn’t think I’d want you if it weren’t for the money.”
There it was again. That elephant in the room.
Her gaze slipped to the side of his face, looking at his scars. Instead of dipping his head and letting his hair cover them like he normally did, he resisted the urge. She’d done it on purpose but he didn’t think she’d done it to hurt him.
And when she finally looked into his eyes again, he knew it. No pity. Only empathy. He knew the difference because of her.
And that’s why there was no way he was letting her leave.
Christ, his cock practically pounded against the zipper in his jeans, he was so hard.
“No, I didn’t think you’d want me. But I’m not as stupid as I was then.”
They fell silent, staring into each other’s eyes. He wanted to reach across the table and pull her over it. Hell, he wanted to strip her naked and fuck her hard and fast on top of it.
Then he’d text Keegan and tell him to get his ass over here so they could take her on his bed.
He’d dreamed about her every friggin’ night. Woke up hard and unsatisfied every morning. He wanted to ease the ache in his gut right now.
“Keegan didn’t go to that reception tonight to nail you to the wall. He only went to talk.”
Her lips twisted in a sneer. “Then he obviously has a different meaning for the word ‘talk.’”
“It’s not entirely his fault, Jules.” He raised a hand before she could say the indignant words gathering on her tongue. “It’s mine. I told him to wait.”
“Why?”
Because I think I’ve finally found a lead on who might’ve sabotaged the lab and caused the fire that disfigured me. Because I need to prove to Keegan that I’m not crazy.
And Jules would’ve made it impossible for him to think clearly.
“Because I was an ass.”
“So because you admit it, that means everything’s forgiven?”
“No. But give me the chance to make it up to you.”
Her expression showed just how futile she thought that was. “How?”
“Honestly, I was hoping you’d have a suggestion.”
She blinked. “Isn’t that kind of a cop-out?”
He couldn’t be sure but he thought she might have almost smiled. Maybe he hadn’t totally lost his touch with women.
Then again, he had no idea what to say to that except… “Yeah. I guess it is.”
Damn, he was totally blowing this.
“Hey, would you like something to eat? I haven’t had dinner yet and I’m starving.”
“Is this your subtle way of getting me to cook for you?”
He gave her a mock-angry frown. “Hey, are you dissing my abilities to perform in the kitchen? I’ll have you know I’m perfectly capable of fending for myself.”
The fact that he had a housekeeper who fixed most of his meals notwithstanding.
He didn’t wait for her answer, just headed for the fridge where he pulled out the fixings for an omelet.
“No, I’m not dissing your cooking abilities. I just… I thought…”
He set all the stuff on the island counter then reached underneath for a bowl. “Thought what?”
“Well, you seem to know everything else about me, I figured you knew that I plan to open my own restaurant one day.”
He actually had known that. Carol had told him. “What do you like to cook?”
Rising, she walked over to the island. “American comfort food but high-end. Lobster mac and cheese. Sirloin cheesesteak sandwiches. Different but recognizable.”
After cracking eggs into a bowl, he started to whisk. “Sounds good. Where do you want to set up shop?”
“Philadelphia maybe. King of Prussia. Not around here.”
“So you want to run away to the big city, huh?”
He and Keegan had run as far from the big cities as they could. And now Erik wouldn’t move back for all the business in the world. All those people staring at him. Jesus, it’d be hel
l every day.
“I want to get away from here, that’s for damn sure.” Her tone held a hard note. “Growing up in a small town might sound like a great idea, but when you don’t want to conform or fit into the little box everyone thinks you should fit in…”
Things hadn’t been great for her growing up. She’d had a reputation apparently, for something that wasn’t her fault. Carol had told him about the affair she’d had. About the man who’d lied to her and made her out to be some kind of home wrecker.
Erik would gladly bash the guy’s face in.
“So don’t. But don’t let small-minded people keep you down.”
He realized what he’d said the second the words left his mouth and looked up to find her staring at him with raised eyebrows.
“Not the same thing and you know it,” he said.
She reached across the island and ran her finger down his cheek. The disfigured one. He flinched away. He couldn’t help it.
But she followed him, putting her hand flat on his cheek. He barely felt it. The scar tissue was thick and didn’t allow for much sensation. Which just pissed him off. He wanted to feel her hand on his skin.
As if she’d read his mind, she lifted her other hand to his opposite cheek. And now he felt the full effect of her touch. It nailed his feet to the floor. He wouldn’t have been able to move if he’d tried.
Her fingertips stroked along his skin, sending shivers of sensation through his blood, straight to his cock.
If he wasn’t careful, he’d make the same mistake Keegan had. He’d let his dick do the thinking. Couldn’t say he didn’t understand completely, but one of them had to be the better man tonight.
“Jules.”
“Yes.”
Aw hell. That was definitely not going to make him behave. Not that word, said with that husky tone in her voice.
“Do you like onions?”
It took a few seconds but her lips curved in a smile. “Maybe you should leave them out.”
“Okay. Sure.”
She withdrew and he cursed silently when she was no longer touching him.
“So, are you planning to go back to college?”
She shrugged. “Maybe for some business courses. College was never on my radar. I couldn’t stand high school. Why willingly sign up for more torture? I went to the vo-tech for the culinary program. That was really the only reason I graduated.”
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