“Whoa, what’s in it?” I unwrap the box carefully and open it to find a necklace with a breathtaking heart-shaped pendant. And embossed on it were the words ‘D’ and ‘E’ joined in the most amazing way.
“This is just…I’ve never seen something so ethereal before,” I whisper, feeling overwhelmed holding the neck piece in my hand.
“Happy birthday, Eleanor.”
“Thank you. Devon. Means a lot.” I smile. “And I wanna wear this right now. Will you?”
“Sure.” He picks the necklace from my hand.
I face the mirror again and bring all my hair to the side of my shoulder. Devon puts the necklace around my neck, hooking the two ends at my bare nape.
I watch his dazed reflection in the mirror. “You’re gorgeous, love,” he says, his exotic blue eyes look deep into mine.
And I come to remember just how handsome he is.
“Dad was right when he said that you will love the present,” smiles Devon as I turn to look at him again.
“Wait, did you say ‘Dad’?” I ask in surprise. Never heard him address Mr. Parker as ‘Dad.’
“Yeah, we’re bonding,” he admits with a modest smile.
“That’s amazing!” I beam. “You honestly made my day saying that!”
I throw my hands around his neck and enclose him in a bear hug. When I pull away, the smile on his face is so endearing that I just want to kiss him to no end, which I did. He responds with equal fervor. I love the way his fingers know their way into my hair. I cup his nape as he lets me explore the erotic heat of his tongue with mine.
Is it possible to get enough of Devon? Never in a million years.
The sudden knock on the door snaps us out of our passionate trance. I see Dad at the doorway and step away from Devon in reflex.
“There’s a boy in my teenage daughter’s room, and he is making out with her,” my father remarks as he steps in, fixing a startled Devon with a scrutinizing gaze.
“Devon’s my boyfriend, Dad,” I introduce them. “And…I was making out with him.”
“Nice to finally meet you.” Devon stretches out a hand at Dad. “Sir,” he adds.
But my father doesn’t stretch out a hand. “I’d do a handshake if you’d get my daughter’s lip gloss off your lips.”
Devon pulls his hand back. “Don’t worry. I’m quite used to having her lip gloss on me.”
My jaw drops at the reply. What the frigging hell?!
Even Dad wasn’t expecting to hear that. “I can tell that you’re extremely blunt. And reckless,” he says. “I should be worried that my daughter is seeing you.”
My heart drops.
“You shouldn’t be,” Devon responds matter-of-factly at once, “because I’ve taken far greater care of Eleanor than you have.”
I could hardly breathe. What’s wrong with him?!
“I mean…I took care of her in your absence,” Devon says quietly.
A chilling silence bridles the air. My mind is so blank with fear right now.
“It’s obvious that Ellie is crazy about you, Devon,” Dad speaks at last, looking grim. “I like the fact that you speak your mind no matter good or bad. And I wanted a boy for my daughter who’d take better care of her than I have. Don’t break her heart.”
“I won’t,” Devon responds.
Dad turns to leave but stops at the door and turns to look at me again. “You look beautiful, hon.” He smiles. “Have a great evening.”
“Thanks, Dad.”
“When exactly were you gonna tell me that your dad is back home?” Devon turns to me after my father left. “Maybe in a decade or century, tops, right?”
I sigh. “I’m still processing it myself. But maybe I’d have told you if he came back solo. He got a girlfriend who has moved in with us.”
“Your father got himself a souvenir from Europe?”
“She’s an American. At least that’s the story her accent says about her,” I say.
“And you don’t like her? Is she a bitch?”
I flinch hearing that. I might be the bitch here.
“Speaking of bitch, why would you even talk so unabashedly to my Dad?” I fret.
“Wait, did you forget I’m Devon Parker?” he retorts, sounding offended. “I am the way I am. With or without a tragic past.”
I exhale deeply. Yeah, right.
***
I link my arm with Devon’s as we climb down the stairs. But just as we step out through the kitchen door, I realize that I’ve left my phone in the room. So I went back up to fetch it while Devon waits for me in the car. As I come downstairs for the second time, I happen to hear voices coming from Gran’s room. I walk the brief length of the corridor to reach her room. The door is shut. I know it’s wrong to eavesdrop, but I do it anyway. I stick my ear to the door and listen.
“…that I don’t even care if you like it or not, Mom!” I hear Dad’s frustrated tone. “I’m gonna make a new beginning with her. And if you can’t see that happen, then you don’t have to see that happen. Simple.”
“And how exactly are you planning to tell your daughter that you canceled on your return because of her and not for some meeting in Germany?” Gran sounds appalled.
I feel a sharp pang in my heart hearing that. Who is this ‘her’? Is it me or is it Katherine? Is it that my father didn’t want to come back because he wanted to abandon me or did he delay his return because of Katherine? Should I be grateful to her for having changed my Dad’s heart about me or should I hate her for keeping Dad away from me for this long?
“I will tell Eleanor the truth soon,” Dad speaks quietly, finally breaking the tense silence between him and Gran. “I’m sure she will understand.”
Understand what? Is it possible that Katherine has a daughter somewhere back in Europe? Of course, it’s possible. And it might be that Dad is planning on settling abroad with them. I might not have a home and a father anymore to come back to after I go off to college.
My skin runs cold, and I cannot breathe. Maybe reality is not really different from my nightmares like I thought it was. Maybe both will tie in as one eventually. Because even if Dad has come back, my deepest fears can still come true in many different ways.
I don’t want to think these thoughts, but they keep coming like the waves during a tempest. It’s my birthday. I need to feel good.
I want to dash out of the house through the front door, but I come across Katherine in the living room. She is the last person I wanna see right now.
I meet her startled gaze.
“You’re wearing the dress…” she trails off. “I-I can’t tell you how happy that makes me feel, Eleanor. Maybe you did only ‘cause your dad wished you would but thank you so very much.”
“I hadn’t really…picked up anything for my birthday, and I like this dress from you…so I might as well thought to go with it,” I lie.
“It means a lot to me.” She smiles.
I walk past her to leave.
“Hey, are you okay?” Katherine asks. “Is…something wrong?”
I turn to her sharply. “It’s none of your damn business, Katherine. Just because I’m wearing the dress doesn’t mean we’re close. So just keep yourself to Dad and stay out of my way.”
I walk out through the front door.
“It took you a long time to get your phone,” Devon remarks as I get in the car next to him and put on the seat belt.
“You’re lucky to have never left your phone in a girl’s closet.” I look sideways at him. “You’d find it buried under layers and layers and more layers of clothes.”
“Are you okay?” Devon inquires, looking closely at me.
“Yeah, I am.” I look at the road ahead. I want to forget about Katherine. “Just drive, please.”
Devon turns on the engine, and we’re en route to Josh’s for my surprise birthday party.
***
I should’ve asked my best friends to not plan a party for me because all I’m doing right now is sit on a wooden
bench in Josh’s backyard while my birthday party goes on in full spirit inside his house. Devon will come looking for me any moment, but I don’t want to tell him about all the shit that I’m going through. He is finally beginning to live a better life, and the last thing I wanna do is pull him back into the darkness where I stand.
I feel so conflicted right now. I want answers, but I’m too scared to ask for them. I try to tell myself that I’ve already experienced the worst through my nightmares. Nothing can top that. But then, you can’t really know what’s worse unless you know the truth.
“Eleanor,” Devon’s here, “since when did sending me to get you a drink start to mean you slipping out through the backdoor?”
“I-I couldn’t keep the promise that I made to myself and to Mom in the letter,” I blurt out, unable to fight alone. “I promised to feel good about me and be happy on my birthday, but all I’ve done the whole day is to pretend to be happy about today. And when I couldn’t make that work anymore, I end up here on this bench trying to escape you and everybody else.”
“I know,” he says dryly, sitting down beside me. “The whole ‘your-dad-coming-home-one-fine-day-with-a-woman’ drama must really suck for you right now when you really need to talk to him about your Mom and him.”
“I really don’t wanna be in this place right now, Devon,” I say, disturbed. “I mean Katherine genuinely seems nice, and I think she truly loves Dad. Like I’ve seen them together. She couldn’t be faking. And yet I’m not happy for him. It’s crazy ‘cause it’s not like I don’t want to see him with anyone else except Mom. Before he’d canceled on his return, I did go to Manhattan to see if I could play cupid between him and his ex-girlfriend.”
“There’s nothing wrong with you if you can’t bring yourself to like Katherine because it doesn’t mean that you don’t love your father,” Devon says. “I think you’re being very harsh on yourself. Give yourself time to adjust. It’s been only twenty-four hours since Katherine got here whereas it’s been more than a decade since you’ve been living with a mental image of your parents together.”
I don’t know how, but like magic, I feel a burden being lifted off my chest. I feel so good that he thinks that way about my situation.
“Hope you’re right. Thank you, Devon.” I smile at last. “You’re there for me even when I’m not able to be there for myself.”
“I wanna be around whenever you need me again and always,” he says, his eyes solemn and intense.
In that heated moment we kiss and I find the deepest peace in his darkest fire.
“C’mon.” Devon grabs my hand and stands on his feet. “I don’t wanna make out any further than this in your friend’s backyard. It’s gross.”
I giggle and rise to my feet as well.
I try to find Stef and Josh in the midst of the dancing crowd and the music as I step back indoors with Devon, but when I do it’s definitely not the way I was expecting to find them.
Stef and Josh, my two best friends, were making out wildly against a wall in a corner.
I stand stupefied beyond words. Never in my life did I expect to see something like that. Stef and Josh? Like really? Am I the one too drunk here or are they?
“Are your friends dating each other or something?” asks Devon as I turn away from the scene.
“I don’t—I don’t know.” I am speechless. “I’ve never seen them like this, and they didn’t tell me anything about…this either.”
“They are hooking up then,” he says. “Sorry to say but this is not good news to share if you ask me.”
“Or it could be just a moment?”
“Could be.” Devon shrugs. “The music sounds like porn anyway.”
I let out a breath. All I can say is my best friends did manage to surprise me today, in a way that made my jaw drop.
***
Devon drops me back home after the party. My mind is still reeling over Stef and Josh. I don’t know why I always thought that their bond could never be anything more than just platonic. I didn’t confront them over it though. I already had had too much drama for the day. The rest can pretty much wait. I really think what I saw was just a spur of the moment kind of thing between them. I’d know if they had something going on. Or maybe I’ve been just too wrapped up with my own life all this time to notice the changing equation between my friends.
When I show myself in through the back door, I wasn’t planning to find Dad in the kitchen. He is standing at the counter feasting on Ferrero Rocher chocolates. Dad loves those like me.
“Hey, hon,” he greets, seeing me standing at the door. “How was your birthday party?”
“It was…amazing,” I respond with a smile. The cake was amazing, and so were the chips.
It’s dark in here, but there’s ample moonlight pouring in through the windows. Dad offers me the chocolates as I walk over to the counter. I take one but fiddle with the golden wrapper.
“I was hoping we could talk if you’re not mad at me, Ellie,” he says.
“No, I’m not.” I shake my head at once. “Why would I be? And I’m really sorry for Devon’s audacity, Dad. He can be extremely blunt at times, but he has a very good heart.”
“Your gran told me that I’ve nothing to worry about,” he nods. “And…it’s true that I’ve been away for a really long time,” he pauses, and I feel the discomfort taking root in my chest again. “I’m really sorry, Ellie. I didn’t return when I said I would because I…met Katherine…and I…wanted to be very sure before bringing her to meet you. But then I know it wasn’t right of me to ask her to move in with us without letting you know.”
“No, it’s fine, Dad,” I tell him although I feel anything but fine. “She seems to be nice. I’m happy that you’re happy. Are you serious about her?”
I somehow hope not.
“Like you said, she makes me happy.” He smiles fondly. “And I want to marry her soon.” That catches me off guard. “I know that sounds a lot rushed but…when you feel right, everything seems right. But are you okay with it, Ellie?”
“Y-Yes, I am.” I nod, struggling to suppress the lump in my chest. “I’m sure she is a wonderful person to start over with.”
“She sure is. And she really likes you, honey.”
“Yeah.” I force a smile. Although I’m sure if the kitchen had been properly lit right now, he’d have easily seen right through me.
“I’m glad to be here for your birthday, Ellie.”
“Dad.”
“Yes? What it is?”
My palms turn cold. Now is the time. I have to ask him about his journal right now. I need to have the talk with him. I don’t know how relevant it is given how things have changed. But I need to hear him speak about it. Doesn’t matter even if I’m not prepared for what I’d have to listen to.
“Good night, Dad,” I hear myself say instead.
“Yeah, good night, Ellie.”
I leave the Ferrero Rocher down on the counter before I turn around and head out of the kitchen.
Chapter Thirty-Two
My feet come to an abrupt halt when I spot Stef and Josh in the school hallways near the lockers the next morning. They are talking, more like teasing and taunting each other like they always do. It doesn’t look like something could be going on between the two. But then again, what I saw at the party last night flashes on my mind. And I feel so weird.
It is just so difficult for me to picture them together that way because they have been such good friends for years now.
“Hey, E!” Stef happens to glance sideways to find me standing at a distance.
“Hey.” I smile a small smile as I walk over to them.
“Is everything okay?” Josh looks at me thoughtfully. “You texted us last night that you were leaving.”
I decide to be quite upfront and frank. “Yeah, I would’ve told you that in person if you were not busy giving each other a wild mouth to mouth.”
My best friends are taken aback by that comment.
“So…
you saw us making out last night?”
“Yes. I did, Stef.”
Stef exhales a breath. “Josh and me, it’s been a while now,” she says, exchanging a glance with him.
I wasn’t expecting to hear that in the least. I was thinking it to be just a one-off thing between them last night and that they look at it now as a stupid mistake. Turns out, I was being naive.
“And it never even once crossed your mind to tell me about it?” I look at both my friends in disbelief. I’m hurt too.
Stef is the one to speak, “We didn’t tell you, E, because there’s nothing to tell, really.” She chuckles casually. “Josh and I are just fooling around. We’re not serious.” She adds with a shrug, opening her locker to get her books out.
I shift my eyes to Josh, and he doesn’t seem to quite agree with her on that.
“Hey, I need to go to the library before the first period. You guys wanna tag along?” Stef looks at us after shutting her locker close.
“I’ve to get to class,” replies Josh.
“I have to submit an essay,” I tell her.
“Okay, see you guys at lunch then.” And Stef walks away.
“You know what? I wanna walk you to class.” I turn to Josh.
“No, I’m good,” he says quietly, averting my gaze. I guess he knows where I’m going with it. But I go with it anyway.
“You might be good, but I am not,” I tell him. “I wanna know how you and Stef went from being best friends to friends with benefits.”
“I don’t wanna talk about it.”
“You don’t want to because you have feelings for her,” I counter.
“No, I don’t!” he retorts, looking at me.
“Yes, you do, Josh. I saw the look on your face when she said it wasn’t anything serious. You’re hurting right now.”
He looks away again.
I sigh. “Since how long has this been going on?”
“Sometime after her break up with the Adam douche. She was a mess and I-I wanted to help her get out of it..”
“And you ended up making things complicated for yourself. Josh, you need to tell her that you like her.”
Again: A Young Adult Romance Page 24