She went to the reception area. “Millie? What’s going on?” she asked fearfully.
“I don’t know what happened in the office, honey, but —I’ve got reason to think that Doc fixed things. Mr. Big… ah …well, he came out all smiles and even spoke to me. He said to tell you that he had some business to attend to and that he might be a few minutes late getting home for supper. He didn’t want you to worry.”
“He said that? Millie, are you sure?”
“Honey, I’m sure. Butter would not have melted in his mouth. He and Doc were laughing like old friends.”
“I wonder what happened.”
“If I find out, I’ll tell you. I’ve got a feeling that things are going to work out. Doc knows how to get around folks.”
“I hope you’re right.”
Chapter Eighteen
“Where is your pride?” Kathleen muttered against the cold, wet cloth she held over her face. “He does not want you. Can’t you get that through your stupid head?”
She removed the cloth and looked at herself closely in the mirror above the lavatory. Her eyes were swollen from crying and her face was blotchy. She stared into the sky-blue eyes looking back at her. Other women had survived disappointments in the men they loved, and so would she. There really wasn’t such a thing as a broken heart—badly bruised maybe, but not broken. Kathleen felt stubbornness rising in her, a will to do what she pleased, to get out from under thF depression that had held her down since Mary Rose was born.
She was luckier than most women; she had a career in writing that she could pursue.I am master of my own fate. I will stop moping around and get on with my life. I may even find a man who really loves me.
With those thoughts in mind, she changed into a dress with a soft full skirt, put on her hose and high-heeled shoes, and fixed her face, using a little more makeup than usual. She put on her good black coat and picked up her car keys.
“Where am I going?” she asked herself.
Kathleen stood on the porch and looked around. The back of her neck began to tickle. She had an eerie feeling that someone was near, but she didn’t see anyone. She shrugged. She’d had the feeling before, and it had gone away.
She drove slowly down the street. Double Indemnity with Barbara Stanwyck and Fred MacMurray was showing at the Rialto Theatre. After Henry Ann’s visit was over, she decided, she would go see every movie that was shown. She loved movies and had no one to please but herself.
Kathleen came to a decision suddenly. She drove around the block and angle-parked in front of the redbrick building that housed the law firm of Alan Fairbanks and Son. She had to take the first step. It was what Johnny wanted her to do.
The time had come to break the tie, but Father in Heaven, it was hard to do. She forced herself to put one foot in front of the other until she reached the office and was standing in front of the woman at the desk.
“Is Mr. Fairbanks in?”
“Yes, he is. Your name is—”
“Kathleen Henry.”
“Just a moment.”
“Send her in, Janet,” a male voice boomed from the back office.
The woman lifted her brows and shrugged, then sat back down. Kathleen walked around the partition and into the office behind it. The portly man behind the desk stood and held out his hand.
“Well, well, well. I haven’t seen you since you came back.”
“Nice to see you, Mr. Fairbanks,” Kathleen said, shaking his hand. Seven years ago, he had been supportive of the effort she, Adelaide, and Paul had made to rid the town of Dr. Herman and his influence.
“Sit down, Kathleen. You’re lookin’ pretty. Doesn’t seem like the years have changed you much.”
“Oh, but they have. The war years have changed all of us.”
“I was glad that Johnny came home all right. So many of our boys here in Tillison County didn’t come home, and some of them who did are crippled for life.” He shook his head. “War is a sorry business.”
“It is that, Mr. Fairbanks. But we were forced into it.”
“You’re right, my dear. Now what brings you to my office.”
Now was the time. Could she do it?
“Mr. Fairbanks, I…don’t know if you are aware of it, but Johnny and I have been separated for quite a while.”
“Of course, you have. How long was he over there?”
“Four and a half years. I…ah…don’t mean that kind of separation.” She rushed on before she lost her nerve. “Before he left, Johnny told me to get a divorce.”
The lawyer leaned back in his chair and twisted the pencil he held between his fingers. He pursed his lips before he spoke.
“Did you?” he asked.
“No. I thought he might change his mind when he: came back.”
“He is the one wanting the divorce? Not you?”
“I guess I want it, too. I don’t want to be married to someone who doesn’t…want me.” Kathleen swallowed the lump in her throat and lifted her chin.
“Does he have another woman?”
“No. I don’t think he’s been seeing anyone else.”
“How about you?”
“No, of course not. I worked at an aircraft plant in Oklahoma City while he was gone. When the plant closed, I came back here. I still have an interest in the Gazette.”
“Humm …What grounds do you plan to use to get the divorce? You can’t claim that he deserted you when he went to war.”
“I’d never claim that. Why do there have to be grounds?”
“That’s the way it works. The judge would ask you why you want a divorce. You have to give a reason. Has he refused to support you? Has he threatened you with bodily harm? Has he refused to live with you as husband and wife?”
“No to the first two and yes to the last one.”
“That could be the one we could use. In that case, we can go for alimony—”
“No. I don’t want anything from him.” Kathleen stood. “I’ve got to think about this.”
“Good idea. Do you want me to talk to Johnny?”
“It wouldn’t do any good. He’s made up his mind.”
“But you haven’t made up yours.”
“Yes, I have, Mr. Fairbanks. I don’t have a choice.”
’Think about it for a day or two. We’ll come up with grounds of some kind.”
“Thank you.”
She was at the door when he said, “You don’t have any children, do you, Kathleen?”
“No,” she said, over her shoulder because she was afraid that she was going to cry. “No children.”
She got into the car and drove away as if she really had someplace to go. She stopped in front of the library, turned off the motor, and stared at the steering wheel. Minutes passed while her thoughts tumbled one on top of the other. What should she do? She didn’t want people to know that Johnny refused to sleep with her— that’s what living as man and wife meant, didn’t it?
She had no idea how long she sat there when a tapping on the window drew her attention. A man with a stupid looking billed cap and big glasses was looking at her. He wore a gray, foreign-looking mustache. She rolled down the window.
“Do ye be all right, miss,” he asked.
“Oh, yes, I’m fine. I was just thinking.”
“ ‘Tis sure ye be deep in thought. Is it trouble ye be havin’?”
“No. I’m a writer and I was thinking about the plot of my story. Thank you for your concern. I’m going now.” Kathleen quickly rolled up the window and started the car.
The prickly feeling was at the back of her neck again. She wanted to turn and see if someone was hiding in the backseat of the car. She watched the man walk leisurely down the street and around the corner. His accent was Irish or Scottish. She was sure that she’d never seen him before. She wouldn’t do this again. It was obvious even to a stranger that she was troubled.
Kathleen reached her house and was surprised to see Pete’s car parked in front. When she entered, Pete and Henry Ann wer
e sitting on the couch in the living room.
“Hey, sugar, you’re all dressed up.” Pete stood and helped her off with her coat.
“Not really. How is Isabel?”
“She’s gone,” Henry Ann said. “I was with her for only a couple of hours when she passed away.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.”
“Johnny and Pete are going to make the arrangements.”
Johnny came from the kitchen with a glass of ice water and handed it to Henry Ann. He was making himself at home in her kitchen. If he looked at her she never knew it because she kept her eyes turned away from him.
“You sure do look pretty, sugar,” Pete was saying. “How come you’re all dressed up?”
“I had some business to take care of.”
“When we get back, let’s all go down to the Golden Pheasant for supper.”
“Thank you, but count me out. I’ll have a sandwich and work for a while. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll get out of these high heels.”
Kathleen closed the bedroom door, leaned against it, and closed her eyes. I will not mope around like a puppy with its tail between its legs any longer! Her eyes popped open and she jerked open a bureau drawer and pulled out a pair of faded, baggy slacks. They were blue with white dots. Ugly. The top was equally ugly—white with blue dots, some of which had bled onto the white. After washing her face, she examined herself closely in the mirror, then pulled the hair on the top of her head back and secured it with one of her precious, prewar, rubber bands.
She stared at the stranger looking back at her from the mirror over the lavatory. She stood there trembling, accepting that sooner or later she would tell Johnny that she had been to see Mr. Fairbanks.
“Lord, help me,” she muttered, and looked away from the pale face and vacant eyes.
Just as she was getting ready to leave the bedroom, she heard the front door open, then close. She looked out the window to see Johnny and Pete going out to Pete’s car. She sighed with relief and went into the living room, where Henry Ann was reading the latest Rawlings Gazette. She looked up.
“This is a much better paper than the one we have in Red Rock.”
“Paul Leahy, Adelaide’s husband, is responsible. He worked for a big paper in Texas before he came here. The Gazette is one of the best small-town papers in the state.”
Henry Ann folded the newspaper and placed it on the table beside the chair.
“I feel kind of guilty leaving the funeral arrangements to Pete and Johnny.”
“I’m sure they don’t mind.”
“We decided to have a graveside service tomorrow afternoon. Isabel didn’t know anyone here except Jude and Pete, Johnny and me.”
“A few of Johnny’s friends will be there out of respect for him.”
“He doesn’t expect anyone.”
Kathleen shrugged. “People in small towns are very good about things like going to funerals.”
“I was so shocked when I saw her. Oh, my. She looked so old and was so…hard.”
“Barker Fleming, Johnny’s father, tracked her down in Oklahoma City seven years ago. She was working in the toughest part of the city. She told him that Johnny had a ranch near Rawlings. That’s how he found him. Barker told me, back then, that Isabel was quite ah …shameless.”
“Jude said the sickness had damaged her brain. I hope that was the reason for the filth that spewed from her mouth.” Henry Ann was quiet for a while, then said, “I’ll go home the day after tomorrow. I miss Tom.”
“I was hoping you would stay longer.”
“I have to go back before Thanksgiving. I couldn’t be away from home at that time.”
“That’s understandable. When I was going to school in Des Moines, I traveled through a snowstorm to get home for Thanksgiving. I couldn’t stand the thought of not being with my grandparents.”
“Our daughter will be in the school play next Tuesday. I made Tom promise to help her with her lines.”
“I envy you. Husband and children. It’s what I always wanted.” Kathleen immediately regretted saying the words, but once said words cannot be taken back.
“They are my life. I hoped for the same for Johnny. He is as dear to me as my children.”
“We all want different things from life. Can I get you some more tea?”
“No, thanks.” Henry Ann sighed and leaned back on the couch. “I feel like I’ve been through a wringer.”
The phone rang, and Kathleen excused herself to answer it. It was Marie.
“Kathleen, we heard that Johnny’s sister died.”
“Yes, he’s making funeral arrangements now. The plans are for it to be tomorrow afternoon at the gravesite.”
“Daddy wants to know if there is anything we can do.”
“I wouldn’t know, Marie, but I’ll pass the message along to Johnny when he gets back.”
“Tell Johnny that we’ll be there.”
“I will, Marie. ’Bye.” Kathleen hung up the phone.
“That was Marie Fleming, Johnny’s half sister. You’ll meet her and Johnny’s father tomorrow. They will be at the funeral.”
“It’s nice of them to come.”
“They are nice people.”
When Pete returned, he was alone. “After we finished up at the funeral parlor, I took Johnny out to the ranch to do chores. He’ll be back in to take you to supper, Henry Ann.”
“I forgot to mention to him that Isabel would need a burial dress.”
“It’s taken care of. Mr. Klein asked about it. We went to the dry goods store, bought a gown and a lacy bed-jacket thing to go over it.” Then to Kathleen, “How about going out tonight and cuttin’ a rug, sugar?”
“I don’t think so.” Kathleen laughed in spite of her dark mood. “But thanks for the invitation.”
“Come with Johnny and me, Kathleen.” Henry Ann’s face showed concern.
“No, but thanks. You and Johnny should have some time alone together. Tonight is the night I like to listen to the Andrews Sisters and the Riders of the Purple Sage. They’re on that Eight-to-the Bar show.”
“Jay is a Bob Wills fan,” Henry Ann said with a smile. “He likes Eldon Shamblin, the guitar player.” Jay was Tom’s son from a former marriage. He was four years old when his father married Henry Ann and would graduate from high school this year. Henry Ann was intensely proud of him.
“I’m losing my charm. I struck out all around,” Pete said. “I wonder what Millie is doing tonight.”
Pete left after a while, and Henry Ann went to freshen up before going out with Johnny. Kathleen sat on the couch and allowed her face to relax. Was this to be her life? Always on the edge? Always hoping? She really should move away from here. She didn’t have to stay in Tillison County while getting the divorce.
When Johnny stopped in front of the house, Kathleen went to the small kitchen and busied herself at the counter putting away the dishes she had allowed to dry in the drainer, leaving Henry Ann to open the door. She heard their voices, then Henry Ann came to the kitchen door.
“Are you sure you won’t go with us, Kathleen?”
“Oh, yes, I’m sure. I have things to do.”
She turned to see Johnny staring at her over. Henry Ann’s shoulder. He was freshly shaved, his dark hair brushed back from his forehead. He had on a string tie and a new suede jacket. He’d dressed up for the occasion. She looked back at him without visibly flinching. She was glad that she looked tacky. That would show him that she didn’t care a whit what he thought about her.
“See you later,” Henry Ann was saying. “I’m early to bed tonight. This has been a trying day.”
The days were short this time of year. The lights were on in Dale’s house and the car was parked out front when Pete drove slowly past. He had not had a chance to find out from Jude why Harry Cole had come to the clinic. Whatever it was, it apparently was handled cordially. When he came from Jude’s office, the bastard was all smiles. Thinking about the flat tire that had awaited Cole, Pete chuckled. I
t was Mud Creek justice, pure and simple
Since meeting Dale Cole, Pete had found himself thinking about her at the oddest times. At first it had been her perky personality and sharp comebacks that had caught his attention. He had observed her obvious dedication to nursing and her calm in the face of Isabel’s insults. He had seen women who had been knocked around. But the cruel evidence Dale bore had made him want to hurt whoever had done that to her.
He didn’t remember ever being so interested in a woman that he wasn’t trying to get in bed, and he was puzzled by it. He had known prettier women, more shapely women, but when he looked into the big sad eyes of this woman, he wanted to take care of her. What the hell was wrong with him?
Inside the house, Dale was equally puzzled, but about something altogether different. Harry hadn’t mentioned his visit to the clinic or where he had gone when he left there. He had been in a good mood during supper, talking to Danny about school, and even telling her that the chrysanthemums in the backyard were especially nice this year.
“We’ve not had a hard frost.”
“Maybe you should pick a bouquet and take it to the clinic before the frost gets-them.”
It was fortunate for Dale, that he didn’t expect an answer because she was so dumbfounded that she couldn’t have given one that made any sense at all. She discovered the reason for his good humor after Danny had gone to bed.
“I had a long talk with Jude today.”
“Dr. Perry?” Dale was wiping dishes, and Harry lingered in the doorway of the kitchen.
“I told him that you could help out at the clinic for as long as he needed you. I want your best effort, hear? What you do reflects on me.”
“I always do the best I can.”
“Jude is thinking about proposing me as a trustee at the clinic. When that happens, I’ll make some changes out there. They need organization. I didn’t tell him that I’d even consider it because I’ve also been approached about running for mayor, maybe even county supervisor.” He took in Dale’s surprised reaction, then said, “Jude is behind me a hundred percent8221;
“Why, Harry, that’s wonderful.”
“It’s about time someone in this hick town recognized my abilities. I could have gone anyplace. Oklahoma Gas asked where I wanted to go. I chose this place-or they’d have got that half-ass supervisor from over at Ardmore. I put this place in order in no time. It’s the best run Gas and Electric in the state.”
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