“Do you like your future?”
“Very much, but my children are not Hari’s, are they?”
“No.”
“Is he with me in my future?”
“He could be if you choose him.”
“What do you mean?”
“Hari’s life rests on the edge of a sword. Three destinies are possible for him and you must decide his fate.”
He waved his hands and she hovered in the air, seeing again the burning ship and the trussed up figure waiting to die. Then flames engulfed him. She shut her eyes to take away the terrible sight, but it was engraved on her eyelids and she could not escape it. When she looked again, Hari was walking ahead of her, wearing the habit of a monk, his red hair shaved across his head from ear to ear. He was singing. Then this picture faded and she was back again at the round hut in the clearing, her children around her. Nothing had changed except that the children were now red haired and Hari walked down the path calling out to her.
“It is for you to decide,” her grandfather repeated. “Do you love Hari?”
“I care for him.”
“But you do not love him?”
“Perhaps. I’m not sure. What does love feel like?”
“If you truly love someone you will know and put his welfare before your own.”
“Then maybe I don’t yet, but people can learn to love, can’t they?” Her tone was plaintive. She raised her head to look into her grandfather’s eyes. He smiled.
“If they wish to strongly enough. It was not like that for me, but perhaps it will be so for you.”
“Hari is worthy of love but he keeps his thoughts to himself so much and only opens to me from time to time. How can you love someone you don’t know?”
“You have a little time to find out, but Hari’s fate will not wait long for you. You must make your decision very soon.”
“Why must I make this awful choice?”
“That I cannot tell you. I show you these visions so you are forewarned and can think before you act, one way or another.”
“I suppose I should thank you,” Emer said hesitatingly.
“More I cannot do for you and we shall not meet again, until you join me in the afterlife, all your choices made. Tell Niamh, my daughter, and Renny, my last love, that you have seen me again. Give them my blessing and tell them that, even here, my memories of them remain. Goodbye my dear.” He bent and kissed Emer on the cheek.
“Afi, don’t go, please.” Emer clung to his hand but it seemed to slip away like mist through her fingers.
“My job here is done. Don’t forget me.”
“I will never forget you.”
Emer opened her eyes and looked dazedly into the fire. Small tendrils of purple smoke lingered over the flames. She glanced around the room and found she was still alone. She lay back, thinking of what she would say to Atli. Perhaps she could persuade him not to go on this voyage, so he would not die and she would not need to make a choice. At the same time, she was sure that this was not possible. She had been warned that she could not affect his fate, only Hari’s. Did she want to spend the rest of her life with Hari? Unbidden, the image of Finnr’s eager face rose before her. Was it his children the first scene or, the gods forbid, Rolf’s? Both of them had black hair not red. She shuddered. Although she had not seen him do it, she felt sure it was Rolf who had poisoned his father. Most likely he was also the one who had put Hari aboard the funeral ship to die.
Emer heard a rustle outside. They were coming. She quickly lay back and tried feverishly to order her thoughts. Someone threw himself down beside her. Someone else knelt on her other side and took her hand. She let her eyelids flutter open.
“Welcome back,” Atli said with a smile. “How are you?”
“Sleepy,” she replied.
“What did you see?”
“Lots of things.”
“The voyage?” A sudden movement made her turn her head. Rolf had his hand out, almost as if he would put it over her mouth. She looked at him hard and he withdrew his hand.
“Successful. You will meet the richest man on Island and make a trading pact with him.”
Atli looked across at Rolf who said, “I told you all would be well, Fadir.”
“Was there more?”
“I saw my future life. My sons and daughters.”
“Hari?”
“Yes, at times.” Rolf snorted and Atli glanced at him sharply.
“Anything else?”
Emer drew a deep breath. She could not tell him. Her vision might not come true and, even if it did, why worry him in advance? Better that he go to his death unknowing. So she lied,
“Nothing about anyone here. Memories from my past life. Important to me, but to no one else. May I please go back to sleep now?”
Atli picked up a log and threw it onto the fire.
“Of course, sleep as long as you like.”
“Well Fadir, are you satisfied?” She heard Rolf say as they went outside.
I’m sending Atli to his death, she thought, although I was told it was his time to go. Perhaps, if I try hard enough, I can succeed in finding a way to stop him from going on this voyage or to put him on his guard.
13
Preparations for the voyage increased and it was not long before the ship was ready for sea. Then the blow fell. Emer was returning from the bathhouse when Halla stood in her way.
“You are to go to Drifa,” she said.
Emer drew a deep breath. “Speak softly when you speak to me,” she said, remembering Blin’s words.
“Why should I? You don’t deserve it, dirt like you.”
Emer reacted instinctively. No one had ever spoken to her like that before or had the right to do so here, except perhaps for Drifa. Halla was only a servant and she knew she could not let the insult pass. She drew back her arm and belted Halla across the face as hard as she could. The woman staggered, her hand to her mouth and blood trickling from her lip
“You’ll regret that, you bitch.”
“I doubt it. If you insult me again, you will pay an even greater price.” Emer spun on her heel and went to find Hari, Halla’s message forgotten in her anger. Hari was not in any of his usual places and when she asked, she was told he was with his father. She went towards the area where Atli usually worked. Hari came storming out without looking where he was going and almost knocked her down.
“Hari, what is it?” she cried, clutching his arm.
“Fadir has found out that you are pregnant and took me to task about it.”
“How could he know that? I’m not even sure myself.”
“Halla told him.”
“Evil old witch. I’ve just had a fight with her.”
“That’s two of us having fights today then. Come along to the beach where we can’t be overheard and tell me.”
They sat down on the stones and talked.
“What will happen now?” Emer asked when Hari finished his story.
“Fadir said that he will speak to me again when this voyage is over. They leave on tomorrow’s tide and he needs time to think.”
“What can he do to you? To us?”
“Banish us, disinherit me, perhaps. That’s if he goes so far. Once his temper’s cooled, he’s usually fair and he’s not the man to order me killed since we have broken no laws.”
“I’m sorry I led you into this.”
“You didn’t. It was my choice as well.”
“Maybe I can say something to him which will help.”
“I wouldn’t. He’s cross with you as well and worried in case you’ve lost your powers. He looked torn between wanting to beat us both and hoping against hope you are still able to dream. Anyway, if he sends me away, I don’t care. There’s nothing here I value. Will you come with me?”
“Of course I will.”
He smiled. “Tell me what happened with Halla.”
Emer did so and then Hari said, “She should not have spoken to you like that for any reason. Your react
ion was understandable and it was your right. But for all that it wasn’t wise. Halla is a bad enemy.”
“She’s never liked me. Should I put up with such an insult?”
“Certainly not, but Drifa is sure to take her part.”
“Drifa! Gods, she wanted to see me, that’s what all this is about.” She rose to her feet. “I’ve kept her waiting, but I had to talk to you first, to find out where I stood.”
“I’m glad you did. Come let us go and find her.”
“Us?”
“I’m coming with you.”
He brooked no argument and they both went to find Drifa, who was sitting with a spindle in one hand, giving the appearance of spinning. She frowned when she saw them enter together.
“You’ve kept me waiting,” she said to Emer. “I’m not used to waiting and will not put up with it from anyone.”
Hari squeezed Emer’s hand and said, “If your servant had not insulted my wife, you would not be waiting for her.”
Drifa rose to her feet and drew herself up to her full height. Unfortunately she still had to look up to both Emer and Hari.
“You deserve a whipping for attacking Halla,” she said to Emer. “You hit her and now you’re hiding behind your husband to escape the consequences of your action.”
Emer stood forward, away from Hari’s side. “I hide behind no one. Your servant insulted me and deserved the blow I gave her. She is the one who should be whipped for rudeness and for forgetting her place. If she wants revenge, I will meet her with any weapon she cares to name.”
“Halla is older than you…” Drifa started to say but Emer interrupted,
“Then she should learn to hold her tongue or accept the penalties. Is she hiding behind you now, to escape from me?”
“How dare you, you little upstart.”
“What’s going on here?” Atli strode up to them. “Why are you screaming? I could hear you outside the longhouse. Wife?”
“This wretch that you brought among us has attacked poor Halla, needlessly.”
“There was great need,” Emer said. “She called me ‘dirt like you’ and ‘bitch’. Is this how the wife of your eldest son should be addressed by anyone, let alone a servant?” Emer asked Atli, her eyes blazing with anger. For a moment he did not answer and her heart sank. What If he withdrew his support from her and Hari. The dreadful moment lingered until he said slowly,
“No, it is not. What happened next?”
“I hit her across the face.”
“Then she has had her punishment, unless you choose to make her pay for her insult.”
“As the daughter of a warrior and the wife of your son, I have an honour price that she cannot meet. I would hold no one in such bondage for years, even Halla. If she wishes fate to decide the rightness of this dispute, I am not afraid to fight her. I won’t challenge her, but I would accept her challenge.”
“You will not then. I am told that you are carrying my son’s child, my first grandchild. Therefore your life is precious and there will be no fighting. Hari, fetch Halla here.”
The woman was sullen when she came, a cold furious sullenness. She glared at Emer.
“Halla, you have lived in this house for many years. My wife values your companionship and service, as do I,” Atli said. “But that does not give you the right to insult my daughter.”
“She’s not your daughter; she’s a little good for nothing whom you found snivelling along the way. You’re infatuated with her…”
“Enough! Emer is the wife of my eldest son, whether you like it or not. She is to be treated with respect at all times, by you and by everyone else in this village. Disobey me at your peril.”
The woman cringed but she still whined, “She hit me.”
“You deserved it.”
“I’ll show that little whore! Let me get at her.”
Halla moved forwards, arms outstretched to grab Emer but Atli stood between them and pushed her violently away so she stumbled and almost fell.
“Hear me,” Atli roared. “This has gone far enough. We leave tomorrow. There will be no fighting, now or while we are away. I hold you responsible, Drifa, for keeping the peace between Halla and Emer or you will answer to me for it.”
“Husband, Halla is my servant, not yours. It is I who should take her to task, not you, if any discipline is indeed deserved.”
“You never discipline her that is the trouble. She thinks she can say what she likes. Her tongue wags too freely and this is not the first time she has spoken unwisely. Know this, if I come back and find Emer has been harmed in any way; I will take the penalty out of both your hide and hers. Do you understand me?”
Drifa dropped her eyes. “Yes, husband.”
“The two of you come with me.”
Emer and Hari followed him out to his workspace.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were with child?” he rounded on Emer.
“Because I don’t know whether I am or not. I’ve only missed one of my courses and they have never been regular, I can’t be certain.”
“You were aware that I did not want you to have children yet?”
“Hari told me. I am sorry if it displeases you.”
“I ordered Emer to obey me,” Hari said quickly. “She is my wife and could not refuse. Let your anger fall on me alone, as it should. The decision was mine.”
“I do hold you at fault. You have deliberately disobeyed me and I will not forget but Emer, too, bears some responsibility. She never told me that you had lain together.”
“What wife tells her father-in-law that? You are unreasonable.”
“Unreasonable am I?” Atli roared. “Think yourself lucky I don’t banish you from this place at once. Other fathers have far done more to their sons for less. I must assess the damage your unexpected lust has made to my plans and to Emer’s ability to read the future. If neither she nor her child can do so, she has little value for me any more. I can have your marriage annulled and cast you out, you know,” he said to Emer.
“If she goes, she will not go alone,” Hari said firmly.
“You almost tempt me to get rid of you both now,” Atli replied, “but it is not my way to act in haste. When I come back from this voyage, we will test Emer’s ability again. If she can no longer dream, then we will wait until her child is born. I will keep it and raise it until we find out whether it has inherited Emer’s gift or not. Emer will tell me the secret of the soils and after that you can go where you choose.” Emer drew backwards and Atli frowned at her, interpreting her movement. “Oh yes you will. If I must, I will make you speak, do not doubt it. I dislike the means I would have to use, but use them I will.”
Emer trembled and Hari put his arm around her shoulders.
“So you have developed a taste for women at last, have you, you snivelling monk?”
“Emer is my wife, I won’t have her bullied or threatened.” Hari dropped his hand and took a step towards his father.
“I’m glad to see you have blood in your veins not water. I’ve waited long enough for you to show some signs of manhood but don’t square up to me like a cock on a dunghill or you’ll regret it. While the outcome of your folly is unknown, your life will go on as before with both of you under my protection. I will give orders that no one is to insult you or do you harm but there is a price you have to pay.”
“What price is that?” Hari tried to meet Atli’s eyes and Emer trembled inside.
“Neither of you will escape from here while I’m gone. I will set guards to watch you and make sure you are here to greet me when I return. For your own sakes, don’t give them any trouble. They will have orders that, if you try to flee, you will be bound like slaves in chains. My wife and Halla would be delighted if that happened. Now get out of my sight and don’t let me see your faces again, until I come back from Island.”
Ever afterwards, Emer regretted that she parted from Atli in such a red mist of anger and disappointment. She owed him so much more for rescuing her father and tre
ating her with kindness, at least until now. She was surprised to find she was not shocked by his attitude. She had always known he only valued her for her ability, which she might have destroyed. Nevertheless she was sad and wished their parting had been different.
She watched his ship sail out into the sea with a deep sorrow, knowing she would never see him again. She had not found an opportunity to put him on his guard, although she had tried. She had asked to see him but he had refused and that was another thing she regretted.
With Atli, Rolf and the other men in the crew away, the settlement became quieter and the days passed slowly. It was a brooding peace, as if everyone was waiting for something to happen. Drifa and Halla paid no attention to Emer, except to shoot her poisonous looks when she came close. Emer tried to ignore them, but their enmity worried her. She attended to her duties carefully, to give no ground for complaint. When she was free, she spent her time with Freydis or Hari, but she was never alone. One of Atli’s men was always nearby. They took turns to watch her and Hari. Emer found that she really resented their presence. She had always been free and the men’s surveillance, although it was discreet, began to make her fret. One day she asked for a horse to be saddled. Word came back to her that she was forbidden to ride out of the village by Atli’s orders.
She fumed, turned on her heel and walked along the beach. Her guard followed. She walked further and further, hoping to lose him in the sandhills but he stayed in sight. When she slowed down, he slowed down. When she hurried, he hurried. She started to run and had twisted to see if he was following when her foot turned on a stone. She went tumbling down a small slope and landed at the bottom with a thump. A pain shot through her belly and she gasped. The guard came running up and tried to help her rise but she sank back, biting her lip in pain. He pushed back her skirt and took hold of her foot, turning it gently from side to side. She stifled a scream.
“I think it’s a sprain,” the guard said. “You won’t be able to walk on it for a while.” He bent down to pick her up. “You’re bleeding as well.”
Emer's Quest (Manannan Trilogy) Page 12